broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Just a couple hours ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Everything seemed great between us, but here lately I was kinda suspicious that something was goin gon. He just started acting weird, like he was hiding something. Well tonight my suspicions were confirmed, and I found out the girl hes been seeing behind my back is at his house tonight. I called and confronted him, and he said she was just a friend. I asked if he had kissed her or done anything, and he just said Id be lying if I said no. I ended it then, and said I wanted to never speak to him again. I know this is for the best, but Im so heartbroken right now. He has another girl over, and hes doing great, yet here I am upset and crushed, wondering why I deserved this. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 -hug- You know you did the right thing, and of course its okay to hurt when your so is cheating on you... Hes not even a big enough man to tell you without your confrontation... You dont need a boy like that, and you know it... Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Yeah i know in the long run im better off, just right now its really tough im imagining this other girl doing the things that him and I used to do. At the end of our conversation he said if you never want to talk to me again, then just say it, so I did...I said "I never want to talk to you again." Then we go to hang up and he says "Well i will talk to you when I talk to you." I said "No you wont talk to me, take care." Inside Im dying this pain is horrible, Ive kept myself from calling or texting even though im hurting. How do you stay strong? How do I make it through tomorrow without wanting to call or text? Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 TURN YOUR CELLPHONE OFF AND GIVE SOMEONE THE BATTERY TO HIDE please I have been in your position and you will only draw the pain out if you let him frell with your head yes, they might be doing things that you used to do, but they deserve eachother, hes a cheating lowlife and shes a tart... dont talk to him, he will try to get you to beg for him, please dont give him that satisfaction. "Well i will talk to you when I talk to you." what a pompus git... My ex did that "tell me you dont want to be with me" "I dont want to be with you" then he went mental... he doesnt want to treat you well, he wants you crawling after him, pandering to his ego... You are better than that, AND You know it... get rid of your cellphone and see if you can stay at a mates house for a night or two Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I'm so sorry... of course you didn't deserve this at all... he's the one who is really messed up!! He was a liar and a coward to go behind your back like that and not give you the respect you deserved... You are better off without someone like that, although it really hurts now... I feel sorry for this new girl he's with, because if he would do that to you, he will eventually do that it to her too! He probably lied to her too, and told her you and he were 'just friends'... the favorite lie of all cheaters! Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Yeah i came over to my parents house for tonight, and left my cell phone at home. I asked him how he could do this, he said shes just a friend, shes fun to hang out with. He can have her, he will cheat on her to. I know that I have to stay strong, bc if I call or text he knows he can do this to me and I will be right there. This is going to be the toughest thing I will ever do, 2 years of every day with him, now completely nothing. He has another girl, and asks like this is all no big deal. Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Thank you guys, Im just trying to keep my mind occupied, and stay busy. I guess this girl lives an hour away, so he was getting away with it bc she was never around. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 A lot of people here know how you feel and will sympathise with you... I am sure that if you want to PM anyone who seems like someone you would want to talk to, they would be fine with it its what we are here for!! Iknow that staying occupied is one of the biggest things, do you paint or write or anything? Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Not really...my life for the last 2 years has become work then him. My head is going in circles, just imagining them together in his bed tonight. How could you love someone so much, and they seem to love you so little. I just hope shes worth it, because im sticking to what I said tonight, he will never see or speak to me again. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 does he have any of your stuff that you actually want back? if there is nothing urgent I say just let him bin it. I know how painfull it is sweetheart, how much it hurts that someone could treat you so thoughtlessly. Im glad you are being strong perhaps take up a hobby? You could always START painting or writing... you are just doing it for you, so it doesnt matter if its terrible or anything... Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 He doesn't have anything I cant live without, he can have it, Im sticking to this. Why would I ever want to be with someone who could this to me??? I know its going to be tough, its almost like kicking a drug habit, hes a habit to me. Talking to him all day, and seeing him almost everyday. Now hes not going to be apart of my life. What sucks, is I dont understand how he can just go on with his life and be happy while I sit and be upset and hurt. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 He doesn't have anything I cant live without, he can have it, Im sticking to this. Why would I ever want to be with someone who could this to me??? I know its going to be tough, its almost like kicking a drug habit, hes a habit to me. Talking to him all day, and seeing him almost everyday. Now hes not going to be apart of my life. What sucks, is I dont understand how he can just go on with his life and be happy while I sit and be upset and hurt. I know its cheesy,but its that song "I just dont know what to do with myself"... You feel lost People thrive on routine... and when its pulled out from under you like that... gah, yes, I know this feeling well Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Heres the thing about my ex...hes never been faithful to anyone. And for some reason I thought Id be different, but no I wasn't. I dont even think this is the first time, I just think this is the first time hes been caught. Hes twice divorced, cheated on both of them. His friends warned me, but he seemed so loving and great, I didn't listen. Now look where I am. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Heres the thing about my ex...hes never been faithful to anyone. And for some reason I thought Id be different, but no I wasn't. I dont even think this is the first time, I just think this is the first time hes been caught. Hes twice divorced, cheated on both of them. His friends warned me, but he seemed so loving and great, I didn't listen. Now look where I am. we ALL get sucked in my a con man(or woman) once or twice. be thankfull you didnt fall pregnant or anything!!! your not stupid for thinking it would be different with you, he treated you like a princess at the beginning, right? sweet talked you, made you feel special? Its what he does, I suspect, he has had a lot of practice with it and you should really pity him for being such a pathetic, 2 dimensional person. Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Your so on it! Im sure thats why this new girl is with him, because hes so nice, and will do anything for you. But while hes doing all that, hes lying and cheating behind your back. He tricks you into thinking he really cares about you, that he doesn't want anyone else, and even makes you think your just being parnoid if you suspect anything. I just need to get through this, and know that I dont deserve it, he will do the same to this new girl. I think he will be shocked when he doesn't hear from me. He suspects I will call, or text, but I wont, I cant, i wont give him the justice that he has me still. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 if he calls from a private number and you pick up accendentily just say happily "oh, Ididnt realise it was you" and hang up. You dont need to be polite about it... not nasty, just dont talk to him. I know his type, took me years to get over mine, but then, I wasnt strong like you, I was a sucker and went back for more. Im so proud of you, its so heartening when people are brave Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Yeah I fall everytime he contacts me. Im hoping since this girls is in his life now, that he wont contact me. I can normally hold strong, but then he will send a text and I break and respond. I need to just not respond when hes texts, and if he calls just mute it. My birthday is this month, so i suspect if i dont hear from him before then, i will hear from him on my b-day. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 if he calls you can either hang up straight away/reject the call so it goes to answering service or you can pick it up and just put the phone down so he's spending money... at least the 2nd option will teach him not to call after a while could you change your number? I understand if its too much of a hassle Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 I thought about it, but why then I figure why should I make sacrifices, when I didn't do anything wrong. I was true to him, yet he wasn't to me. Im kinda surprised that I haven't cried, my stomach is tore up, but Im not doing all that bad. I mean Ive even visualized this girl in his bed with him, b/c im sure she will be staying over tonight. But for some reason, while it sucks, its not unbareable. I kinda hope he calls just so I can ignore it, maybe in a sense its just justice. One of those things where you hope they will chase you, just so you can say no. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I thought about it, but why then I figure why should I make sacrifices, when I didn't do anything wrong. I was true to him, yet he wasn't to me. Im kinda surprised that I haven't cried, my stomach is tore up, but Im not doing all that bad. I mean Ive even visualized this girl in his bed with him, b/c im sure she will be staying over tonight. But for some reason, while it sucks, its not unbareable. I kinda hope he calls just so I can ignore it, maybe in a sense its just justice. One of those things where you hope they will chase you, just so you can say no. Yeah, I can totally, TOTALLY understand that You need to be able to prove to yourself that you can say no, in order to gain strength, once you do it once, you know you can do it again. Keep in mind that he would have done this before, so he will know when to contact you when you are at your weakest... be strong button Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 thanks so much eva for all your help! Im strong right now but know i will probably have bad moments, I just need to jump on here and find strength. His new girl will go home and he will be bored, but I wont be there, not this time! Im not girl who is here to fill a void for a couple hours, I deserve more then that! Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Broken7 I am so envious of you strength. You seem to be holding yourself together so well under the circumstances. It's incredible! You are doing everything right. Don't call or anything. Even if you think of something awesome that will put him in his place, write it down, don't call. That's always my urge. I want my cheating ex to be punished for what she did to me, but I know that in the end her cheating heart will get the best of her. Stay Strong!! Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 mac your just like me, I want him to hurt, I want him to feel this pain. Not be sitting at his house, having a good time with another girl. But thats exactly what hes doing tonight, while im here trying to figure out ways to make the days easier. I feel like my only option is to stay strong, if I break, then he will see my weakness. Ive shown my weakness to many times, but I cant this time. I just dont get how I deserve this, and he gets to be happy, and not be upset at all. Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 The best way to really get back at him is to lead a happy, successful life. I know how you feel. Less than 2 weeks after ending things with my ex she was already in a serious relationship with the guy she had been having an affair with. It was so serious that she tried to invite him over to her parents for dinner, but they wouldn't have any of it. Her parents still love me and want no part of the new guy. I want the same revenge of turning away my ex when she comes crawling back. That would make me so happy. But if that never happens, I will still be happy because I won't have this cheating, coward of a person in my life anymore. Link to comment
broken7 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Yeah your right Mac, Id love to see him chase me, and me be able to say No. But your right, that may not happen...I need to move on for me, for me to be happy. Guess it sucks, bc it just happened, now I have to picture them together tonight...kinda makes my head hurt. But Im staying strong, not shedding a tear. Why? Why should I cry over someone who does care about me. If he did care he would have never done it, his whole focus would have been us. But instead he looked elsewhere. Guess things work out in a weird way, kinda wish I had a time machine to see where everything will end up in a month from now. I know I wont be with him, and hopefully can say we haven't talked! Link to comment
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