Why didn't my parents let me or have any friends that are girls?

[emit_remmus]

They didn't let me date even until I was 17, 18 was kind of iffy. Is it because of a safety thing? Cultural thing? Religious thing? I couldn't even see girls that went to my church. My mom was heavily against it, and I don't know about my dad. He wasn't that bad. I'm just wondering whats the parental reason behind that?

[shes2smart]

Can't say for sure, but my parents were funny about me being around boys when I was in jr. high and high school (ages 13-18 or so).

 

My mother seemed to assume that simply being around boys would result in wild sex, drinking and all kinds of debauchery. I'm glad she had so much faith in her own parenting skills.

 

The great part is this: you're 19. If you're not living on your own, you likely will be soon...and at that point, your parents can have all the opinions they want, but they no longer get a vote in what you choose to do.

[Dating Coach]

They didn't let me even until I was 17, 18 was kind of iffy. Is it because of a safety thing? Cultural thing? Religious thing? I couldn't even see girls that went to my church. My mom was heavily against it, and I don't know about my dad. He wasn't that bad. I'm just wondering whats the parental reason behind that?

 

Perhaps, ask them?

[emit_remmus]

Perhaps, ask them?

 

I feel like that's an uncomfortable subject to talk about with them.

 

And yes, I live on my own now and things are much more easier.

[renaissancewoman101]

It could be a cultural thing. I'm an Asian girl and my parents never let me date or go out with guys in high school. I didnt do the dating thing until I went off to college AWAY from them. But then with my brother, he dated in high school and they didnt care.

[emit_remmus]

That sounds more like parental safety over their daughter. I could see myself doing that with my daughter.

[rocio]

double standards are so 20th century

[chad91]

so true,

most gf parents when you talk to them etc. they act or feel suspicous in a bad way.... and parents try to be over protected...

 

In my country, if you talk to parents they dont even believe in dating like before 21 till you have a good job etc! (they have the excuse that if you are not successful in your life, money etc you have nothing to offer to her )

[Dating Coach]

I feel like that's an uncomfortable subject to talk about with them.

 

And yes, I live on my own now and things are much more easier.

 

I just don't see any way we can tell you the exact reasons your parents had for doing this. All we can do is speculate. They have the answers.

 

I would guess because they feared you getting a girl pregnate? They wanted to make sure you were an adult before getting involved in dating and sex. That's my guess.

[Night Pumpkin]

Maybe because it's hard to maintain a real friendship with a girl without feeling sexual attraction towards her. Be honest, aren't there times when you are strongly attracted to your girl friends ?

 

I strongly suggest you build strong bonds with other guys. What ever friendship you could have with a girl, you could also get from a guy.

[the_final]

I just don't see any way we can tell you the exact reasons your parents had for doing this. All we can do is speculate. They have the answers.

 

I would guess because they feared you getting a girl pregnate? They wanted to make sure you were an adult before getting involved in dating and sex. That's my guess.

 

I think he is trying to see if any other people had parents like this and could relate to him....

[mintblossom]

i don't blame girls parents for doing that becuase the parents are trying to be protective. until i got into the real world, i had no idea how many men would try to cross and step over my boundaries even when i said no. the unscrupulous ones will feed you lines, stories, or slowly try to you hooked on them.

 

it's hard enough to fight them off when you're older, im glad i didnt have to deal with this when i was a young teen. i would have been screwed over 100x times no matter how strong i was.

[emit_remmus]

DIfference is, I'm a guy. Its not like I could get pregnant.

[shes2smart]

No, but you could've impregnated some gal....which has its own set of consequences as well.

[Altruist]

Your parents were just trying to raise you up to be a responsible young man. Now that you are on your own, I'm sure that the values that they instilled in you are still holding you in good steed.

[omayra]

They probably dont want you to make a mistake that they probably did when they were younger. Maybe they dont want you to be like them when they were younger. My parents told me i couldnt date till i was 18 and now i am and i havent really kissed a boy before but i m glad that the y suggested that because i didnt want to commit a mistake. so dont worri about that take ur time. peace

[ghost69]

they probably just didn't want you to get into hot water. it happens a lot. my mom used to ask the influential males in my family to ask me. then they'd relay to her. i lied of course. i knew what was going on.

[MushroomGod]

I was always against things like that. I'm not a parent but if children and young people don't experience important social experimenting like dating they won't develop the right skills to make them normal, sane, human beings. It's not always true but sometimes it is.

 

Look were you are today. You are just now learning important social skills that will give you a happy social (dating) life.

 

Wit that being said it's never to late to start and looking at your posts you're doing fine.

[ghost69]

yeah. i started waaaay before 18. i have enough skills. i could possibly borrow you some and still be okay. i've learned a lot about women. being close with your mother helps too.