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i need help with my scar


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a few weeks ago, i had a pretty bad breakdown and i ended up cutting myself here and there..

one of which involved the word HATE on my leg... and its pretty big.

[no worries... i've been fine ever since]

 

i put neosporin and lotion on it all the time, hoping it would heal without a scar, but i was wrong.

 

i really don't know what to do to make it fade. i don't want my friends or family to know what i've done...

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Hi Venga,

 

First I will address your concern about your scar, since that is what you asked for. There is a cream called Mederma that can help heal a scar and make it less visible over time.

 

link removed

 

But I am also worried about your cutting- and have to mention it since I wouldn't feel right not to.

 

Do you want to talk about it?

 

Hope

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a few weeks ago, i had a pretty bad breakdown and i ended up cutting myself here and there..

one of which involved the word HATE on my leg... and its pretty big.

[no worries... i've been fine ever since]

 

i put neosporin and lotion on it all the time, hoping it would heal without a scar, but i was wrong.

 

i really don't know what to do to make it fade. i don't want my friends or family to know what i've done...

 

Hi Venga,

 

A lot will depend on how deep the cuts were. Were they surface cuts or deep? Perhaps you could use make-up to cover the scars while they heal. If they are not too deep then they will likely fade over time.

 

I understand your situation exactly though, believe me. Perhaps if someone found out it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I know you would probably feel very ashamed about it if they did, but you are obviously suffering and are in need of some support.

 

Hey, if you would like to talk about it anytime then drop me a PM.

 

Take care...

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thanks guys

 

about my breakdown... i just had everything on my shoulders and i lost it. i got pretty drunk and i just wanted to destroy everything. my grades, i didn't have a job, my rough relationship status, my looks, my weight, feeling alone away at college, i felt like my friends were only hassling me about decisions i've made..... i felt like the world fell on my shoulders at one moment.

 

i really didn't want to live anymore. I've never really cut myself much before. when i was a lot younger [11 - 13] i tried to cut my wrist or took pills....

but i've pretty much been fine ever since.

 

anyway, i had an almost-uncontrolable urge to hurt myself in some way... to just have to fight to survive.

i told my boyfriend everything. i've done some pretty stupid things around him, and he hasn't yelled at me or made me feel bad in any way... i think since i've been reassured around him, i know he's there for me and i feel comfortable enough to open up to him now.

 

I've really been fine ever since. i'm glad you all were concerned

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There are new laser surgeries. Those are expensive, I know. Problem is, you could get it removed and you might just leave another one somewhere else( if you don't use another way to deal). You HAVE to substitute this behavior for something else. Can you call your bf or a good friend you can trust instead? How about therapy?

 

You are frustrated with things out of your control and taking it out on yourself. This stems from self-disgust/hate/anger, etc... why are you so pissed at yourself? And why is it going inward towards you when it should be told to the people you are mad at?

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  • 2 weeks later...

isisastaria... you seem to know just how i feel.

i don't know what it is.. i've been doing alot better lately. i used to be really depressed when i was younger..

 

but i haven't had any problems until this schoolyear. i breakdown alot... and this was the worst its ever been. i haven't really done anything like this ever since. and yes... it has much to do with self disgust and all that...

i'm reallyunhappy with myself. i hate that i dont have any talents, i hate my body, i hate that i feel i can't control it. i'm healthy... i eat well, exercise... i'm a pretty active person. tai chi, yoga, pilates... i run three times a week [usually..] and i'm even taking up skateboarding. my biggest problem is that i think i eat too much sitting alone in my dormroom. i don't like the way my mind works... just the kind of person i am. i have never felt like i was good enough for anything...

 

i've come to terms with my body. I'm not a big fan of it... but i'm comfortable with "this is how i look." whatever. But i don't think anyone else has come to terms with how i look... i doubt anyone would want to see me at the beach... and i avoid such occasions. I've seriously considered surgery to fix some problems (i would be so much more comfortable if my thighs were smaller... and didn't rub as much as they do..) and i'm still considering it..

 

i always feel like a burden... like no one wants to see me or hear my problems or deal with me when i break down..

i jsut take everything out on myself.

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Hey Venga,

 

Bottling your feelings up inside and building up that resentment can definitely lead to some of issue that are causing you to cut. You know that you can always vent here- but have you ever considered talking to a professional about how you feel too? Sometimes an objective professional opinion can help you work through what's eating at you.

 

 

Just a thought.

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