Addiction to Masturbation and Internet Porn

[bennyboy]

Long time reader, first time poster!

To cut to the chase, internet porn and masturbation are ruining my life! I don't know what to do about it. If I could afford to live alone I would, then I just wouldn't get the internet and at least the internet porn problem would be solved, and hopefully I would masturbate a lot less. I'm 24 now, and I don't have to masturbate as much as I did when I was a teen, but even at the rate I do now it's a huge problem for me. ](*,)

 

It's not just that I waste so many hours on it, but when I masturbate so much it takes everything out of me. My drive, passion, humor, motivation to do anything all drains away. This leads to depression and misery. I just can't do anything. Won't. There is a lot on the horizon for me but without the drive to pursue it, my life goes nowhere. I had a glimpse of that today, I was happy, things were going well and I was getting work done at school. I was full of ideas and was excited to take on my next project. When I got home I was prepared to get down to work... I live with my father, and he wasn't here. I was alone, alone with my thoughts... I didn't take much time or convincing for me to start. Even though I've been struggling with it, and it hadn't been long enough since the last time, I did it anyway. There doesn't seem to be any way to stop myself.

 

If anyone has any resources they can direct me to, I would appreciate it. Any Google search only offers me what turn out to be religious websites, but this is not what I'm looking for. Suggestions or personal experiences would be very welcome as well. I've gone so far as to enable the parental controls on my computer to keep me from looking at adult content! I created a long, multi-character password to keep me away, but I managed to get around it one way or another. One problem with this is that it doesn't allow me access to some non-adult site that the software finds suspicious. We have a high-speed wireless connection so it's available to me whenever I decide to throw caution to the wind. I try to get out as much as possible to keep me away from it, but I don't have much of a social life, so I am at home quite a lot. Again, anything anyone can offer me would be helpful.

 

Thanks very much

bennyboy

[Superfreak]

How often do you do it? I can tailor my response to your answer.

 

Also, people are going to use this thread with a knee jerk response of "its teh EVIL PORN" that causes all of societies problems, and there going to use this as proof that everybody that watches porn is going to eventually wind up an addict and hating themselves. To those people I ask that they start growing up. This guy in particular may have a problem, that doesn't mean that everyone who's ever viewed pornography will have the same problem.

[Steven1607307306]

Try going to an SA (sex anonymous) meeting. I know someone who had the same problem. I myself attend NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and CA (Cocaine Anonymous) and they all have the same basic principles. The only difference is that they are individualized so that those with the same problems attend the same meetings.

 

Anyways, VERY helpful.

[lessy20]

Does your Dad know about your addiction? If it's really that serious and you would go so far as to not having the internet etc. perhaps he could leave the computer in his room and lock the door when he's away. That would prohobit you from being able to access it when he is away. However, I'm guessing he doesn't know that this is as big of a problem as it is for you. I know this probably isn't any new insight you haven't thought of already, but I think probably your lack of social life causes you to go to the computer, and your addiction to the computer and porn, hinder your social life! If you could get one under control, it would help the other, otherwise it's a vicious cycle. Have you ever had a girlfriend?

[Dako]

Steven's on to something.

Behavior disorders are classified mostly by functional impairment, and if you feel unable to function in school, work or socially due to your habits, you might find a support group helpful.

 

I always found wanking self-limiting, but you really seem concerned about your obsession.

[Steven1607307306]

Plus attending meetings will open up a new social life for you as well. Help you get a network of friends and what not. All in all it helps with everyday life.

[Superfreak]

It's hard judging the severity of your problem without knowing some more such as exactly how often you do it. A support group may help you, but if you're skittish about attending one, an option is to just plain keep busy. Honestly, I had a summer job this year and that coupled with going out with friends alot significantly cut down on the amount of masturbation I did compared with the previous summer where I had no job and rarely went out with friends. Go out and get a part time job somewhere and by the time you come home you may be too tired to even thinking about "choking the chicken"

[anotherlife]

i was once really addicted to a game. it got really bad, so i just killed it. i closed my subscription, uninstalled it, threw out the discs. and told all my friends to change their passwords so i can't go into it, and yea... of course it was World of warcraft >

 

you can stop yourself from being able to access porn. its vvery hard, i tried to put parental control on my WoW account, so it would take me 5mins whenever i wanted to play... it didint work.

 

go to extremes. remove your door, change your internet connection speed, change your limit. or even get rid of your internet (last possible option! >

 

the easiest way though is to get someone elses help to stop you. get them to put their pasword on, or to distract you. or you can even distract yoourself with stuff.

[bennyboy]

I've been addicted to games a couple of times; I threw them away eventually as well. I don't buy video games anymore and I don't own any consoles, and my life is better for it I think!

 

Thinking of this as an addiction is a new one for me. I've had a * * * *ty couple of weeks and it just ocurred to me the night I wrote this post that it was in fact an addiction. I know people who have gone to group meetings for addictions and they say it's an wonderful experience and the best decision they ever made. I'm not sure if I can see myself working up the nerve to do it though. There must be quite a different dynamic between the sex-addicts and the compulsive masturbators at those meetings!

 

As for password-protection the only problem is that sometimes I can't access pages that I don't even have adult content on them. I put a 26 character mixed-symbol password on it though so hopefully that will help. If it denies me access to a page without adult content then I'll just use a more public computer.

[bennyboy]

I only do the deed 2-5 times a week. I find when I do it, I want to do it more... I would be okay if I succumbed 1 or 2 times a week I think (you have a lot of excess energy when you're horny!). I'm not a teenager anymore so it's not like I'm doing it several times a day. I find I'm far less likely to do it if I don't have access to porn.

 

But you're so right about keeping busy, superfreak. What kind of work did you do? I guess if I do something really strenuous and time-consuming it'll take care of that!

[bennyboy]

Geez, I hope my dad doesn't know about it, lessy! But that is a good insight. I think it's more along the lines of, I don't have a social life because my problem leaves me so depressed during the day that it's difficult to get friendly with people. New people anyway. It's not like I don't have any friends already, but I am getting to the age where they're moving away or getting married, so there's less opportunity to see them. And no I haven't had a girlfriend, same reason of course, there's little opportunity for me to meet new people, so it doesn't happen.

[Steven1607307306]

I do it about 5-7 times. Some days just not in the mood, somedays I'm just with my gf all day so there's no need. Why don't you try finding a girlfriend. I'm sure THAT would help! Get OUT of the house. That's it. Any time you feel the mood striking you, grab your keys and go eat, or walk around the mall, MEET people.

[Superfreak]

I only do the deed 2-5 times a week. I find when I do it, I want to do it more... I would be okay if I succumbed 1 or 2 times a week I think (you have a lot of excess energy when you're horny!). I'm not a teenager anymore so it's not like I'm doing it several times a day. I find I'm far less likely to do it if I don't have access to porn.

 

But you're so right about keeping busy, superfreak. What kind of work did you do? I guess if I do something really strenuous and time-consuming it'll take care of that!

 

2-5 times a week and you're concerned? By the sound of it I thought you were more along the lines of 5 times a DAY !

 

Honestly, go on and masturbate 5 times a week, and here's why:

 

The protective effect of masturbation is greatest while men are in their twenties: those who had ejaculated more than five times per week in their twenties, for instance, were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer later in life (BJU International, vol 92, p 211).

 

link removed

 

Now if it's tiring you out, sometims that happens if you don't breath properly while you masturbate (alot of people sort of hold there breath around the time of orgasm and this often leads to them feeling tired). If it's very serious then perhaps speak to a doctor but honestly, if it's just 5 times a week it's no big concern.

[Dako]

Bennyboy,

 

5 times a week is hardly an addiction.

I thought you were going at it more than that!

[bennyboy]

I don't think it really matters how many times per se; everyone is different, so if the number of times I'm doing it is affecting me a certain way then it's a problem. For someone else it might be a different number, more or less. As we pass our teen years and into our 20s and 30s we all become less hormonally charged, so we do it less. A lot of the people here seem to be under 20, and when I was under 20 I would often do it every day, usually more than once a day. These days if I do it twice in a day, then I'll definitely leave one or two days in between. If I don't do it twice I'll do it the next day or at most leave one day in between.

 

As I said, once or twice a week would be good for me I think. 5 Times works out to almost every day, and if I'm spending hours each time surfing porn while I'm doing it then I'm wasting a huge amount of time--the porn is the problem that I've been trying to solve more than anything. When I've done it less than 5 times a week it's because I'm really busy, or I've abstained purposefully so I would be more energized and more sexually charged--it a feeling I enjoy having! Plus, I'm more likely to ignore girls who might be interested in me if I have no sexual energy.

 

And of course, I want to prevent it from consuming me completely.

[Steven1607307306]

You speak to us as if you were some wise old man, who has lived through the masturbation period. Get over yourself you're not THAT much older...

I would think of 2-5 times a week HARDLY an addiction but that's just me. From what you posted before, I figured maybe you had a problem that consumed your life. How long do you spend on it a week...30 minutes?

[Dako]

Bennyboy,

I agree that it's a personal matter to decide what's too much.

It takes you hours to rub your nub?

That may be a factor.

 

I'm 54, and still get my chores done each day.

[Altruist]

As Bennyboy said, its affeting him so I don't think we should be encouraging him to continue; rather to help him to figure out a way to get over the addiction...

 

Try going for a swim or jogging everytime the urge to surf porn creeps up. If you remain at the computer when the urge begins, you won't be able to stop yourself nomatter how strong your password. Denying yourself the computer is hardly the way to overcome. If you can resist surfing porn for at least two months then you will find that it will no longer appeal to you. The fact that you have acknowledged that it is a problem to you is the first step to conquering the problem. As others have suggested, its a good idea to join a group of people who have overcome such problems (don't join a sex perverts/offenders group though). That way you will realize that you are not alone and will also get the much needed moral support.

[Dako]

I wonder if this is less about masturbation than escaping into a fantasy world without social conventions or problems like shyness, dating or awkward relationships. Some guys are fascinated by watching others do the deed because they aren't doing it themselves.

 

Bennyboy needs to get out more.

[Altruist]

I wonder if this is less about masturbation than escaping into a fantasy world without social conventions or problems like shyness, dating or awkward relationships. Some guys are fascinated by watching others do the deed because they aren't doing it themselves.

 

Bennyboy needs to get out more.

 

Yes, getting out more will not only help Bennyboy take his mind away from surfing porn but it will also give him the opportunity to stumble upon a fulfilling relationship.

[light bulb]

I hate that the word addiction is even being used. This is not an addiction IMO - or by medical definition.

[eponine]

This might sound a little weird, coming from a woman, but I have a similar problem.

Everytime I sit behind my computer at home and am alone, I start masturbating. Usually for hours at a time so I don't get much work done…

 

I'm in a healthy relationship and told my boyfriend about my problem. We both don't understand where it comes from or what to do about it. I have this theory/feeling that it doesn't really have to do with 'having sex' as much as with 'feeling good'. It doesn't make me want to have more or less sex, that's certain.

 

The only solution I have is not to get started. But most days I can't help it…

We will be moving soon and I've been thinking about putting my computer near a window. I'm not an exhibisionist in any way so maybe that would help…

I would also really like this behaviour to stop.

[seanj]

I hate that the word addiction is even being used. This is not an addiction IMO - or by medical definition.

hey every i am kind of hooked 2 internet porn and really want 2 stop masterbating over it as i think i do it 2 much! i no its not good to be doing this as much as i am not only does it drain me it also makes me feel really guility afterwards about what i have done which causes me 2 feel depressed i am single which i think maybe is the problem when i was with my girlfriend we had a healthy sex life now it is over i feel so horny all the time cant control myself i did stop 4 like 2 months but it felt like i was going mad so i ened up back on it is there any1 out there who is like myself ? ps today im going to try 2 stop again i willl see how long i can last!

[sddeaston]

This might sound a little weird, coming from a woman, but I have a similar problem.

 

Why would it be weird coming from a woman as opposed to a man?

[jsx730]

Sounds like you just need to pick better times to masturbate, and cut out the porn if possible.

 

Try waking up and doing it first thing in the morning, that way you aren't as bothered by it later in the day when you have work to do.