Why do I always seem to end up with the same result?

[RedPenguin]

With a couple of girls, I tried to take the first step and talk to the girl and break the ice. But here is where it gets weird. It's almost like every time I see a girl, tell her she is beautiful or attractive, and something like she is someone cool to be around, I swear, the girl will stare at me for a few days, for a few days, copy everything I do, but then, end up seeming to ignore me, like when I try to talk to them, it's like I am basically ignored. Also, with tons of girls, if I send them a message say on the computer, often I don't seem to ever get a reply, but I may get looked at a lot. Why never any replies? It is strange to me anyway.

 

After it happened the first time, I was like, ok, then I swear it just keeps happening. Is this some kinda common behavior or something?

[annie24]

stop relying on IM to communicate with these women. get their numbers and call them and ask them out.

[Hayles]

Don't just tell her she is attractive - ask for her number!

[RedPenguin]

Well the main girl it happened with, I guess it was because she had a bf. I didn't know it when I tried to talk to her, but now I am in the weird situation like I said, where I am ignored in a talking sense, but I am watched all the time.

 

I have the luck for some reason, I don't do anything, but yet, I constantly have girls just starring at me. Not just looking at me every now and then, I mean, like 3-15 minute stares. I guess either I am thought about a lot or really strange, who knows. LoL j/k.

 

Anyway, i guess the art of flirting and stuff is just very confusing and sometimes funny.

[MushroomGod]

Think about this, if you keep getting bad results what are you doing wrong?

Where does is start going south?

 

Why do you tell them that they're attractive?

 

Thousands of guys tell them they're attractive what makes you different?

 

Do something different and maybe you'll get different results.

I never tell a girl she's attractive until I think she's attracted to me. You have to tease them, everyone else is complementing them. Ask them out right away. Why do you break the ice then never follow up?

 

Answer these questions when you try again and figure what's wrong. Then change that and try again.

 

You have to figure out what works for you.

[RedPenguin]

That makes sense. I will have to think about that.

[Locke2121]

Women don't want a freakin' puppy dog to come rub against their ankles. They can get that anywhere. They want a cool, confident man that is funny and secure enough in himself to be able to walk away.

[shikashika]

don't tell them they are attractive after just meeting them!!!

 

no no no no no no!!!

 

I would only be turned off by this...Guys say this stuff so often and its so tiring..

 

examples that make me want to gag.

 

"Whats a beautiful girl like you doing at the gym on a Friday night?"

 

 

 

(after only a couple hours on a date...)

 

"You sure have beautiful eyes.. they are twinkling like the stars'

 

To many women, this kind of talk just sounds like the guy is trying to hard..a and he's telling me I'm attractive before he even knows me?

 

Its just plain annoying..

 

And no I don't get guys saying this all the time... but what are they saying it for????...do they think I'm going to say "oh pshaw... swoon... thats so sweet'

[ghost69]

you are attractive? that compliment is lame. nice, but lame. come up with some more original ones. comment on their hair or shoes or something. women pick those items out to usually impress guys. if you comment on them it makes them feel noticed. then you can compliment on their physical aspects when you are on a date....after you get the number of course.

 

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[RedPenguin]

Even though I said she was attractive, I said it in a different way, then you are attractive. I guess at first she musta liked it because she kept looking at me and copying everything I did, but I did not finishing going for her because I found out she had a boyfriend but she still looks/stares at me a lot but less mimicing. I felt odd because I didn't know she had a bf, but it's like I end up ignored if I try to talk to her, but yet, she still watches me constantly and stll mimics me. Why you a girl do that, if she doesn't like a guy, is possibly ignoring him, and already has a bf? If a girl had a bf but liked another guy, would she look at him but ignore him because she is "taken"?

[ghost69]

you shouldn't read into her too much. she does have a bf. my rule is if i find out she has a bf, i'm out. i don't pursue it. would you like a guy persuing your girl if you were on the other end?

 

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[galaxy71]

Some time ago in another thread, the women were talking about how they loved compliments. In this thread, the women seem to be wary of guys who complimented them on their looks. This is pretty confusing. What one can conclude on this matter is that some women love compliments while other women do not. I'm pretty biased about this subject based on the fact that I learned flirting from guys who prefer being playful and fun around women as opposed to complimenting them. Attractive women get complimented all the time. If you compliment her, she might view you as just another guy who is groveling over her looks. On the other hand, if you are teasing her and giving her a good time, she will view you as a guy who is extremely confident around women.

[Altruist]

How do you follow up after giving such a compliment? Do you say anything else when you meet the girl again or do you keep quiet and just wait, hoping that she takes the initiative? The fact that you said that the girls 'will stare for the next couple of days' suggeasts that you don't follow up on such compliments. While I am against giving such overt compliments, I think when you give such a strong signal of your interest you have to follow up, maybe ask the girl out. You will only come accross as weird if you don't.

[ghost69]

if you give out compliments too much, they feel saturated like you are trying waaaay too hard. like you are desperate for a woman's response and thank yous. you can drop/hint little compliments, but don't do it too much. it gets old quick and repetitive. all women love compliments, more so if they are unique. i only say 'you are beautiful' if i really mean it. the first time or second time i talk to a woman i do not say that though. the timing has to be right for one like that to come out of my mouth. it must be sincere to me.

[Altruist]

You're right ghost. I personally get overwhelmed by the desire to give compliments but i always stop myself and give them out only when it seems most appropriate. Its important so that the compliments don't seem washed out.

[ghost69]

sometimes when you make 'plain' compliments they come out lame. "you are so pretty". boring. "you are attractive." i'm sure she already knows. say something playful like "dam you fine". or just clean and clear "wassup?" she turns away, oh well. if not, ur in. compliments are overrated these days. you just have to be able to talk to a female. that's all they really want..a guy that can hold a conversation without her falling asleep or talking about themselves all night.

[Altruist]

There is a lot of evidence from the ladies on this forum that compliments freak them out, especially the lapdog type of compliments.

[ghost69]

don't worry about what compliments to say. worry about when to say them. timing is everything.

[Biffy]

"Whats a beautiful girl like you doing at the gym on a Friday night?"

 

Ha.

 

I have a friend who has reasonable success when he flips a statement like this.

 

For example

 

"What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?"

 

 

[ghost69]

"What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?"

 

that seems like you'd get smacked. she isn't nice enough to be there?

[galaxy71]

Ha.

 

I have a friend who has reasonable success when he flips a statement like this.

 

For example

 

"What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?"

 

 

 

I believe it. The guy who uses that statement will stand out from all the other guys who pepper her with compliments. The girl will wonder why he said that in the first place. I don't know if your friend is using that line as a neg(statement of disinterest meant to convey that the speaker is not one of those guys hitting on her again) or if he is using that line as a cocky and funny line meant to get a reaction.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah I try not to read to much into behavior, but I just found the one girl with a bf a tad baffling. I am not really trying for her due to her having a bf, but now, instead of a normal stare, she will put her chin in her palm, and just daze at me.

It always try to not really look at body language, but sometimes things just catch my eye, as unusual and make me wonder.

 

Maybe, it's just the way I see things, but I wouldn't think that a girl who has a bf would keep looking at a guy day in and day out, unless she was wondering about him. Like I said, that's just me.

[ghost69]

all i'm saying is any woman with a bf is off limits for me. it's not that i could date her or couldn't. it's just not a boundary i cross.

[Dating Coach]

Maybe they think you are interested and are interested back, but only wait so long before they realize you're not a guy of action because you never did anything beyond telling them they were attractive.

 

It sounds to me like you shuffle your feet indecisively. If you are interested, don't stop at telling a girl you think she's attractive. Actively set up a date and move the relationship along.

 

One of the biggest problems I see with men in the dating world is that they are not creatures of action. They think all day long and do nothing. They wait for permission to do something. A woman isn't going to be attracted to a guy who's too afraid to take action.

[ghost69]

don't tell her too much though. oversaturation turns women off.