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do a job u hate but pays a lot of $, no one likes their job


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I think it is easier for women to get away with doing a low paid job because more pressure is put on men, by society and women (potential wives), to earn a larger income. Not that we need to be rich, just that our income needs to be decent. Enough for a savings 401 or w/e you call salary sacs. to retirement funds in the us i remember one poster specifiying such a thing as a requirement... So If you are a man I think there are a new set of dynamics where the engineering major becomes more attractive than the english... even if you enjoy english more, the larger pay check might bring with it other things besides the money that will compensate for the lower enjoyment in ur paid job.

 

Umm ... really??? I don't subscribe to this way of thinking at all. You put pressure on yourself to get whatever sort of job you think you need. I don't think it's a gender related thing nor should it be. The problem used to be (and still is in many places) that women get paid less for exactly the same job as a man. That's not the female "getting away" with a lower paying job at all, it's her being forced into taking one and I would have to think in those situations there is more pressure on her to find a way to increase her income than it would be for a male to do so.

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"Since when are women "potential wives"" - since men marry women.

 

Getting away with it means earning enough money to get by (support a family for example) doing something you love.

 

Men consider earnings more than women when they considering their major. Find me a study that says otherwise. I dare you.

 

"You don't know of any men who marry wealthy women so they don't have to work hard? Why not refer to people - men and women - who are gold diggers rather than these "potential wives?"

 

I never called anyone a gold digger. I never said not having to work hard, read the post, don't try and put words into my mouth. Women want men to be fin. stable its said all the time of this forum. That is pressure.

 

btw you made the intial comment about retirement savings on a different topic Bayta.

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If I agreed that a man should have a 401k and savings it was only because, so do I and I am not asking for more than I have as far as income/assets and less is fine too as long as the man is financially stable (and that to me means some form of 401k/savings particularly if he is in my 30s-40s age group - obviously a man in his 20s might not yet have savings so it's all relative).

 

I chose my majors based in part on potential income as do many women I know. I don't know of any studies but I do know of many men who are artists, writers, actors, public interest people (lawyers, social workers, etc) and public school teachers who went to college and grad school for those careers knowing they could make more money in the private sector. But no, I don't know of any studies.

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So you agree you put financial pressure on men.

 

Glad we got that sorted.

 

You should run for politics. You're not backing up anything you're saying. They're just your opinions.

 

I don't see where Batya agreed, nor do I agree with what you're saying.

 

This topic has deviated far from the point of the initial post. Getting back to that it would simply seem that it's a good idea to choose a job in a field you enjoy and make the most of it. If you don't like your job then you're likely doing it for the wrong reasons.

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I have never put pressure on men to do anything financially, job-wise or otherwise. That I choose to get seriously involved with for purposes of marriage only men who are financially stable and who have similar outlooks on saving money as I do has nothing to do with pressure - it simply means that I won't get involved with the person and then he can find someone compatible with him. I would never ask a man to change his career or financial situation "for me" - if hypothetically he chose to do that on his own because he felt that was important to having a potential family, that would be his decision entirely.

 

Not sure where you got that from my post. When I wrote "all I ask for" I didn't mean I would ever "ask" a man to change his financial situation - I simply meant that on my "list" of what I require in a man to be in a serious relationship with me, financial stability is one of them. I think that was very clear and I think you chose for your own purposes to read that as some sort of "pressure."

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I think it is easier for women to get away with doing a low paid job because more pressure is put on men, by society and women (potential wives), to earn a larger income. Not that we need to be rich, just that our income needs to be decent. Enough for a savings 401 or w/e you call salary sacs. to retirement funds in the us i remember one poster specifiying such a thing as a requirement... So If you are a man I think there are a new set of dynamics where the engineering major becomes more attractive than the english... even if you enjoy english more, the larger pay check might bring with it other things besides the money that will compensate for the lower enjoyment in ur paid job.

 

I think you're absolutely right. My friends and I would never go around telling people what degrees or positions we had. We don't find it necessary to make friends or get dates. I don't think guys could get away with that. For example, my friend is a lawyer but you'd never know it looking at her or talking to her. My bf was shocked to find out. A guy, on the other hand, who was a lawyer, would totally play it up - bragging to women and trying to sound impressively articulate.

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The men I am friends with are mostly all professionals - they don't behave that way. It's really no big deal to be a professional among the people I know and where I live so it would look silly to play it up as you describe. It's also not surprising that my friends/acquaintances don't behave this way because I don't tolerate arrogant people. On the other hand I know many people who are not professionals and who don't make a lot of money who are arrogant and try to draw attention to themselves for whatever it is they believe they have accomplished in life.

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I just know that the guys I know can get absolutely no attention from the ladies until they drop that they're a surgeon, pediatrician, lawyer, professor.. then suddenly they're practically celebrities. The girls I know just have to look fabulous and laugh at guys' jokes, and they're already celebrities.

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I just know that the guys I know can get absolutely no attention from the ladies until they drop that they're a surgeon, pediatrician, lawyer, professor.. then suddenly they're practically celebrities. The girls I know just have to look fabulous and laugh at guys' jokes, and they're already celebrities.

 

I know exactly what you're talking about.

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