my god

[bigthings46]

So I have been seeing this girl for like 2 months. Things have been good up until last week when I didn't see her @ all for Valentines Day cuz of weather and then the next 2 days we were gonna do something but she kept breaking plans. Well anyways I finally get to see her last night and she is being really distant. So I kinda just distanced myself from her instead of courting her. She had a headache and kept complaining so I kinda went and layed on the other couch so I didn't keep bumping into her and stuff while we were laying on the couch together. So I go lay on the other couch, and decided I was going to go lay down in her bed hoping she would follow. Well I wake up at 4am and she is passed out on the couch so I tried to see if she wanted to come lay in be with me but she gave me an attitude so I let her be.

 

This morning I woke up and went and sat on the couch and she was doing housework and stuff and then told me she was going to go shopping so I gathered my things and told her I was going home. Then she loses it telling me that she hasn't seen me all week and that she isnt going to see me much of this week because she has to study for a test on wed and that Im an {Mod Edit} cuz I don't wanna spend time with her. I never even said I didn't want to chill with her.

 

So I try to avoid confrontation and say that I wanted to go home and shower and change cuz I stunk and that she could come down to my house later and we could do something. Then all I get is attitude saying that she don't want to come down to my city(20 minutes away) and that I am selfish and that things are always the way I want them to be. I just laughed at her and gave her a kiss and left. Looks like I am in the dog house now cuz she broke plans with me all week and I didn't want to go to the mall with her today but still invited her over. ridiculous.

[Caterina]

She doesn't sound like she treats you very nicely. How long have you known her?

[heloladies21]

So I try to avoid confrontation

??? And why would you do this? The situation certainly deserved a confrontation. Personally, I would've called her out on her bad attitude earlier in the night as I'm not loking to waste a perfectly good evening on someone who isn't fun to be around.

 

By avoiding the confrontation, you show her that you are weak. She gets the impression that you are fake and pretending when all she wants is someone who is real.

 

So really, then next time she's not acting right, drop the nice guy routine and stick up for yourself. Otherwise she (and all other women) will keep acting the same and give you the problems you've been encountering your whole life in relationships.

 

I just laughed at her and gave her a kiss and left.

Again, she deserved to get ripped out for the way she is acting. By not reacting as you should, she gets the impression that you are not being honest with her. This is the way women think.

 

Looks like I am in the dog house now cuz she broke plans with me all week and I didn't want to go to the mall with her today but still invited her over. ridiculous.

Even though she is acting wrong, it's actually a test to see if you're a ginuine guy. And you are not passing. So best thing you could do is call her up right now and rip her out or else this relationship will be short lived.

[treefrogkate]

Otherwise she (and all other women) will keep acting the same and give you the problems you've been encountering your whole life in relationships.

 

This is the way women think.

 

Even though she is acting wrong, it's actually a test to see if you're a ginuine guy. And you are not passing. So best thing you could do is call her up right now and rip her out or else this relationship will be short lived.

 

Helo: I'm confused as to how one woman's behavior can be extrapolated to all women. Perhaps some women (myself included) would have just honestly told him that I was feeling a little unloved and we would have had a rational discussion. Also, I hardly think ripping the girl a new one is going to solve anything.

 

Why do you have to further stereotypes that women are irrational and lump half the world's population into a category because of one person's actions?

 

To the OP:

 

I know I don't like to get laughed at when I am pouring out my feelings. By doing this, you are dismissing her feelings and telling her that they don't matter to you.

 

Why did you distance yourself? You could have given her a nice backrub that might have made her feel better instead of leaving her alone on the couch.

 

More importantly, why are you avoiding confrontation? Communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship, and by leaving instead of talking it out, you're derailing things and making something that could have been resolved with a 5 minute conversation into something that is threatening your relationship.

[EvaGina]

She didnt deal with it in the best way, but she wanted attention and you just sort of blanked her.

when a girl is insecure, HUG HER, comfort her, dont laugh at her.

[MissTee]

She didnt deal with it in the best way, but she wanted attention and you just sort of blanked her.

when a girl is insecure, HUG HER, comfort her, dont laugh at her.

 

Amen sister.

 

If my SO laughed at me while I was emotional, I wouldn't give him sex for a week!

[bigthings46]

well I called her a while after I got home and made plans to go back up and spend time with her. I get up there and shes still being real distant so I just kinda sat and minded my own. Well after watching tv I wanted to go drink some beers but she wasn't down for it and we wound up going out to eat dinner. That went good but once we got back to her house she starts being really distant again. I was sitting on the big couch thinking she was gonna sit next to me and she goes and sits on the other couch by herself. I told her to come sit with me and she told me there wasn't enough room(ya right) so I just layed on the couch by myself watching tv and after bout an hour she comes over and tries to lay with me and kinda started busting balls asking her why she was coming over now and blah blah blah. She said that she wanted to sleep on me and to wake her when I was ready to go into her bed. So after I was done watching tv I woke her and told her to come to bed with me and she tells me she will be in in a little while. Well I went out smoked a butt, came back in and decided to just bounce since it seemed like I wasn't wanted there. I didn't go over there to hang on the couch or sleep by myself. So I went to give her a kiss and tell her I was taking off and she started giving me crap again. She goes and tells me Im being stupid and that she likes to sleep on the couch till she wakes up in the middle of the night and then she goes into bed. I was like whatever make sure you set your alarm for me and wake me up in the morn so I can go to work. Well 2 hours later I was laying in her bed by myself and said screw it and grabbed my stuff and just left without saying anything to her. I know I made myself look really weak by taking her crap and not going home right away. So I had to get out of there instead of looking like a sucker for sticking around.

 

I just don't get this girl one bit, everytime we hang out she is all over me and begging me to stay with her and asking when shes going to see me again. Now shes being crazy distant and wouldn't give me a kiss or a hug basically all weekend. I feel like a damn fool right now. I wonder what shes gonna be thinking when she wakes up and Im not there.

[MissTee]

Honest opinion?

 

Sounds like a rough patch to me... a stupid fight.

 

Why don't you plan something romantic? Not like you're "giving in" to her but just something to get you guys out of this rutt.

 

ps. She ain't gonna be happy in the morning.

[bigthings46]

I wanted to see her on valentines day, she didn't cuz she didn't want me driving in the snowstorm. Then she broke plans with me 2 nights in a row so saturday i didn't answer any of her calls. I asked her what her deal was but I didn't get crap for answers. This is really weird. I just don't want to make myself look weak or foolish which Im afraid I already have done. Might be time to go NC.

[MissTee]

If you go NC now... you will lose her. You need to work it out.

[heloladies21]

I've made so many of the same mistakes as you. You have no idea how many situation I've screwed up till I finally woke up and started realizing what was really going on. But the one thing you have to keep in mind is that it's never to late to change. Never to late to call her the next day and address what happened. As long as you do it the right way, stern, no BS. Willing to walk away from the relationship if it isn't going the way you want it to.

 

This isn't about what's going on in her mind, this is about what's going on in your mind. You have the power to control your own future. I truly believe this, ESPECIALLY when it comes to girls. Be upfront, direct, not passive but aggressive, a go getter. These are all good traits for you to learn.

[bigthings46]

thats whats up helo thanks man