Really Rough Few Hours

[This is Horrible]

i have been doing really well....spirit has been up, ive been eating right, sleeping well, exercising...in general just keeping busy.

 

i was fine all day today, then tonight it all just hit me and i almost contacted her a few times begging for her back and all that good stuff.

 

i have been doing so much better and have improved so much since the breakup 6 weeks ago, but i have these stretches that last for a few hours that are agonizingly difficult to deal with....and they always come at night when noone is around.

 

it just sucks to be in this situation, especially on valentines day, but i would like to thank every member of enotalone for all of their help thus far in my journey. all of your stories of experience, strength and hope have really helped me at the worst times in this terrible ordeal we are all facing.

 

i guess this is better posted here than in an email to the ex begging her, which i know i would regret doing.

[Cyprian]

Funny - your worst times are at night? Night is horrible for me, but when I wake up is really the worst. The first few days I literally screamed when I woke up. Now it has lessened in magnitude, but the first thing I think of when I wake up is HER!

 

Post here whenever you are going to call her. Thats why so many of us post so much!

[This is Horrible]

Funny - your worst times are at night? Night is horrible for me, but when I wake up is really the worst. The first few days I literally screamed when I woke up. Now it has lessened in magnitude, but the first thing I think of when I wake up is HER!

 

Post here whenever you are going to call her. Thats why so many of us post so much!

 

i literally have no time to think about her when i wake up. i hop right into the shower get ready and go to work and i keep busy the whole day until about 10 o clock when i get home then it all hits me.

 

i say that i am fine, but the fact that this still gets me so much proves i am not fine and must do NC until I am fine.

 

the other thing that i dont get is that i know we werent great together. we had disagreements a lot and i tried to break up with her 8 times but always took her back....i guess it rips me up that i put a lot of effort into the relationship (as did she) and i have nothing to show for it. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Cyprian]

I don't necessarily dwell on it after I wake up - but SHE is the first thought that follows my memory of my fading dreams (which mostly happen to be about HER anyway).

 

i guess it rips me up that i put a lot of effort into the relationship (as did she) and i have nothing to show for it.

 

I would disagree. Yeah, maybe you don't have a relationship with HER, but you certainly have something to show from it...you have learned, and will learn quite a bit from all this. Knowledge is priceless.