I often ask myself...

[barbielovesmac]

...is giving someone a taste of their own medicine an effective way of getting through to them or to prove a point? Whether it be your boyfriend/girlfriend, family memeber or a friend.

 

When asking this question before I didn't get the answer I was looking for. I got many other opinions about my relationship with my current boyfriend. Questions like, "why are you with him if you're trying to change him." And "you cannot change a person." I already know these things. In my case I am NOT trying to change him, nor do we have serious issuses in our relationship. I just wanted a simple answer to a simple question. I wasn't asking for someone to tell me all the negative aspects of what they think is wrong or what im doing wrong. Getting someone to understand your feelings is NOT trying to change them. I appreciate the advice in which I was given, but it didn't really answer my question at all in fact. My question is simple. Do you think giving a person a taste of their own medicine is an effective way to get through to them? Maybe to understand things from your point of view. Does anyone have and experiences, views or opinions? Anything besides telling them. Im sure you all know what I mean. I would really appreciate it!!!

[renaissancewoman101]

I do think giving them a "taste of thier own medicine" is a good way to get a point accross. Sometimes people are dense and so into themselves that they dont realize the effect their actions have on people, like when they ignore them or don't give credence to their words or opinions (ex: speak over them). Then if you do it to them, it kind of breaks their shell and a proverbial "light bulb" goes on and they realize, "hey, maybe what I did was not such a good thing and hurt their feelings".

 

I agree with you, sometimes the best way to get something accross to someone is to let them "have a taste of their own medicine".

[Akatea]

Sometimes it is, but I speak from experience that sometimes giving someone a taste of their own medicine just aggrevates that person, and, if it is in their personality to retaliate, then they probably will. Sometimes it is best to just be the bigger person and accept that they just don't get it...

[DN]

It depends on the circumstances. But it can backfire and end a relationship so it should be used with caution.

[Batya33]

I agree with DN and also believe that it can be a short term fix but it's too tiring/emotionally draining to have to keep doing that every time there is a situation where one person is disrespectful to the other.

[barbielovesmac]

It depends on the circumstances. But it can backfire and end a relationship so it should be used with caution.

 

I perfectly understand that. I would never use that long term. If It didn't work then I would understand that there was nothing that I could do and eventually I'd learn to let it go.

[Skippy]

Never a good solution to a problem, because it becomes a revenge thing thus aggrivates a situations. You/ We all should have figured this out by watching this news. Wars are fought because of the attitudes, "i'll give you a taste of your own medicine".

The only result is a winner and a loser. Thus not benefital in the long term.

A good result for all relationships is a win-win, thus a long term benefit.

[renaissancewoman101]

But sometimes people are dense and need to be knocked on the head once or twice to realize what REALLY is going on.

 

People get too complacent in relationships, I've noticed.

[barbielovesmac]

But sometimes people are dense and need to be knocked on the head once or twice to realize what REALLY is going on.

 

People get too complacent in relationships, I've noticed.

 

see i agree, and this is where i stress. if someone is continually doing something to you and you do it back then in some cases they see what they are doing. just like they said its like getting knocked on the head.

[Batya33]

Yes, and it typically is an indication of poor communication/taking for granted so you also want to make sure to deal with that underlying issue. I did this to someone once - he was constantly late for dates so one night I made him wait in his car for 30 minutes (after he was 20 minutes late) so he could see what it felt like to be kept waiting. The result was that he was annoyed but it turned out that he didn't care enough to be timely for me, so getting a taste of his own medicine wasn't effective to have him change his behavior.

 

As far as your particular issue - that he should call you more than twice a day if he is not "doing anything" - please consider that we all need our down time where we are not doing anything in particular, and it doesn't necesarily mean we want to be interacting with someone else just to pass the time, even if it is someone we care a lot about.