My girlfriend and a threesome

[lavalamp777]

Hello all, I am new to this forum.

 

I have been seeing my gf for a year now, and to keep a long story short, she has hinted at having a threesome before in the past as a joke. Me being good at detecting what she wants, I knew it was her fantasy. I recently started talking to her about it again, and after some prying and digging she confessed to me that she would like to have a threesome.

 

One problem, it's a me + guy and her threesome.

 

I have to admit, that it sort of turns me on watching porn with 2 guys and a girl threesomes, and it sort of turns me on thinking of me gf being dirty and used like that. But I am not sure I would want to go through with it.

 

She said that she will only do it if I want to, and if not it doesnt matter to her one way or another because it is just a fantasy. She said that if she does do it it will be with a person she semi knows and then she would never want to see that person ever again.

 

Decisions decisions? I have never experienced anything of the sort, what is there to watch out for when having threesomes, what sort of emotions etc? Also I asked if later on we could have a threesome with another girl and her, and she said she couldnt stand seeing me with another girl.

 

Thanks.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If you don't feel 100% comfortable with it, DO NOT DO IT. Threesomes have a notorious history of making a mess out of a relationship.

[Zaphod]

Hmmmm.... personally I'd give it a miss. Seeing another man inside your woman will shock you no end.

 

You and two women though - that's another story LOL but seriously - just give it a miss full stop.

 

If her fantasy is - let's think how to put this - to have two men "inside" her then why don't you incorporate some sex toys or something into your sex life as a kind of substitute? It's emotianlly safe and kind of halfway satisfies her fantasy.

[JoeWho]

There is a big difference in fantasizing about it and actually doing it. My advice is to keep it a fantasy. Thats where it belongs. Fantasizing about your girl being dirty and actually watching it happen are two very, very different things.

[Meow18]

I would advise not to do it as well.

 

She would completely understand. Afterall, she said she couldn't stand to see you with another girl, so she better understand.

 

Could you stand to see her having sex with another guy right in front of you?

 

In my opinion, it will only bring un-needed insecurities into your relationship. It could do more harm than anything.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

opening a big Pandora's box full of trouble there... ok with another guy, but no to another girl? get outta here, not only is she being selfish, but there is no logic that justifies that... i'd suspect she is thinking about cheating, and just trying to find a way to ease her conscience about that... like if you 'ok' another guy togehter, then why not apart...

 

don't go there... many have done so, and it's never the same again, and usually headed for a breakup...

[Meow18]

I don't think your relationship is doomed just because she fantasizes about threesomes. It would be one thing if it's all she talked about and she was really pushing for it to happen.

 

But I don't think she will cheat on you just because it's a fantasy. She obviously loves you since she said it doesn't matter if it never happens.

 

Just think about how you really feel about it and be honest with her.

[flower99]

opening a big Pandora's box full of trouble there... ok with another guy, but no to another girl? get outta here, not only is she being selfish, but there is no logic that justifies that... i'd suspect she is thinking about cheating, and just trying to find a way to ease her conscience about that... like if you 'ok' another guy togehter, then why not apart

 

 

Really selfish? I don't think it's selfish, she just knows what she can handle when it comes to her emotions. She knows that she will be jealous & not comfortable with seeing him with another girl.

AND she is understanding if he would feel the same regarding a 3some with a guy. She has made it clear that there is no pressure & only to do it if he is okay with it...either way she's okay with leaving it as a fantasy. I think you two are wise & mature to have such an open & honest & understanding relationship.

 

I totally agree with

don't go there... many have done so, and it's never the same again, and usually headed for a breakup...

If you are not 100% into it, don't open that door

[Day_Walker]

If you are not comfortable with then you should not go through with it.

[kr356]

If you don't feel 100% comfortable with it, DO NOT DO IT. Threesomes have a notorious history of making a mess out of a relationship.

 

couldnt have said it beter myself, if you are not 100% sure, it's not worth the risk

[i1dr]

Funny thing is that it turns me on to have the thought of a girlfriend screwed by someone else. My only stipulation is that I don't get any bad vibes from the guy and he does't get any confused ideas about touching me. ( and just incase anyone is wondering - no I have no gay tendencies)

In the past I've had a number of faily liberally minded girlfriends (and a wife) but the strange thing I fould is that while finding a partner that was female for a threesome was fairly easy - to get a guy to actually go through with it we all always found imposible. I'm not sure why but I suspect that guys that are not gay are super uncomfortable with the idea of another guy present while women are far more at ease with another woman.

Sometimes however fantasies like that get where many people can't handle them after the fact. I remember one case where the girl was very eager for a threesome with another girl and myself and very hot about the sex. But afterwards, months later as our relationship developed I heard several times words to the effect " ... "and I saw you on top of her and inside her" as if she were really having a hard time despite the fact that it was basically she who had the idea in the first place. It is a bit of a dangerous step. I would only take it with someone who has a lighthearted attitude about sex - otherwise it's not worth the adventure to have hard feelings.

[trash mail]

my question is this.... how many people here that is giving the advice has actually done a 3some??and is givng advice form experience or are they just speaking form hear say,

[lavalamp777]

Thanks for the responses.

 

It's funny because I was talking about this with 4 of my closest guy friends the other day, and they all said they wouldnt mind having a threesome (2 guys 1 girl) as long as they knew the guy they were going along with. We all mutually agreed that we would go into a threesome with a girl with each other because we are all childhood friends and know where each has been, etc. On the contrary I think that finding another girl for a threesome would be very hard, maybe I am wrong, as I have no experience in this sort of thing.

 

And I would also like to know, how many people here speak from personal experiences?

 

It's a fantasy to me, but doing it and actually living with who knows what emotions after I don't know. RIght now my mind is saying, hey its just sex do it its fun and it turns me on, I can still be with my gf even after it, but then again I don't know how it will be if I go through with it.

[flower99]

And I would also like to know, how many people here speak from personal experiences?

Mine is not from my personal experience, but from my best friends experience & my brothers prior relationship.

Life is too short to make every mistake myself, some i'd rather learn from others.

 

I would only take it with someone who has a lighthearted attitude about sex - otherwise it's not worth the adventure to have hard feelings.

 

I think this is the only way to do it....good advice i1dr

[petey1343608]

i recently had one...it can be great if all of you are into it and mature enough. It can get really, really wild.... Maybe having one with 2 guys/girl and a different one 2 girls/guy might help

PS we're still together and have had a few.