ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Andy, I am not trying to ridicule you. I am trying to get you to realize that although continuing this situation seems like the best option right now, it most likely is not. You are under pressure and under the spell of lust (I'm guessing.) And I'm assuming you are not thinking clearly. So sure. Hopefully it will work for you how you have planned out since that's the best option for you. But have you thought about this scenario: - Cousin NEVER finds a boyfriend because she's too busy sleeping with you and eventually decides she's in love with you. Then what? What about when she gets jealous of you being with your girlfriend? What are you going to do about that? I'm sure she'll threaten you again - "if you don't leave her I'm telling everyone." There are serious consequences here: Many people being hurt, passing around STD's, the possibility of your cousin getting pregnant, etc. etc. etc. Do you not have a reputation to protect? I'm serious, man... I think that if you are unable to come up with a better solution, you may want to contact a psychiatrist. If you'd rather I not post in your thread anymore, then say so. And I won't. I AM trying to help you to see rational solutions to this. Link to comment
andyg Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 No, it's not that I don't want your help, I'm just looking for a solution that can make everyone happy. At this point, I'm 99.99% sure that someone will be dissappointed. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 No, it's not that I don't want your help, I'm just looking for a solution that can make everyone happy. At this point, I'm 99.99% sure that someone will be dissappointed. Hey Andy, One of the lessons I have learned in life is that you can't please everybody, so there is no use trying. You really need to come to a decision about what is best for you. Your cousin certainly isn't putting your best interests at heart. 1 Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I don't think there is a single solution that will make "everyone happy." I understand that you're concerned about your cousin's well being. But seriously - I think her well being is the last you should be concerned about at this time. She's blackmailing you. Or is she? I "try" to stand up for myself and what I believe in! I might have a hard time with that when consumed by situations with loved ones. But I would not disregard my main morals, ethics, and priorities by something outrageous. Link to comment
andyg Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 What do you mean by the "or is she?" remark? She is definitely blackmailing me. Although I do enjoy the sex, I know it needs to stop, and I want it too. That's where the blackmailing kicks in, there's also the concerns of her mental health. I'm still wondering why she ran out of the room crying the first time and now she's all nonchilant about it. Link to comment
andyg Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 My bigger issue is what to do about my girlfriend, that's the piece of this story that I'm really concerned about, that other stuff is just background information. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I'm still wondering why she ran out of the room crying the first time and now she's all nonchilant about it. That could be the bipolar condition she suffers from her. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 What do you mean by the "or is she?" remark? She is definitely blackmailing me. Although I do enjoy the sex, I know it needs to stop, and I want it too. That's where the blackmailing kicks in, there's also the concerns of her mental health. I'm still wondering why she ran out of the room crying the first time and now she's all nonchilant about it. Well the blackmail comment. Number 1: Yes she is blackmailing you. Number 2: You are enabling her to blackmail you by continuing the sex. So ultimately, you are also somewhat responsible for this. Who knows why she ran out of the room crying? Her bipolar condition maybe. Or the fact that she's wanted to "feel you inside her" as she said and she finally did but knows she can't actually have you forever? Any reason - she's mentally unwell. Extremely mentally unwell. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 My bigger issue is what to do about my girlfriend, that's the piece of this story that I'm really concerned about, that other stuff is just background information. I'm trying to help you to see that if you stop this now, your future with your girlfriend is brighter. If you continue this, I'd say you may as well count your seconds with your girlfriend. Your relationship will ultimately end and she will not forgive you for a continuous sexual relationship with your cousin. Link to comment
andyg Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 I'm not sure she could forgive me for the one individual incedent. I think she'll be grossed out by the fact that I slept with my cousin and also extremely pissed because my cousin is one of her best friends. I want to save the relationship and her finding this out may doom it. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I know but Andyg - - - - - - - Imagine her reaction if she finds out that you slept with your cousin continuously??? There's a much better chance that she find out it happened like once than that it happened continuously. Also have to mention that it seems clear that your girlfriend wants to sleep with you as well. Can you imagine what your girlfriend would think if you are sleeping with both of them continuously and she finds out???!!! Link to comment
andyg Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 True, that would be better, I also think that if I'm having sex with my cousin and not having sex with her, she'll be even more upset. Should I tell her first and hope for the best or should I have sex with her, wait for the situation to get behind us and then let her know the whole story and that I wasn't a virgin when we finally did? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 True, that would be better, I also think that if I'm having sex with my cousin and not having sex with her, she'll be even more upset. Should I tell her first and hope for the best or should I have sex with her, wait for the situation to get behind us and then let her know the whole story and that I wasn't a virgin when we finally did? You should not sleep with her until you have completely eliminated the situation with your cousin. Period. You can handle this a couple of ways. First and foremost: STOP sleeping with your cousin. Secondly: Either tell her or be ready to defend yourself if your cousin tells her. Or be ready to deny, deny, deny. Thirdly: Get tested for STD's. Fourthly: Let her make her own decision. Accept her decision. And accept responsibility that you maybe have done something that she will never forgive you for. Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 i agree. Stop sleeping with your cousin. Or dump your girlfriend and pursue a relationship with your cousin. 2nd cousins are allowed to marry, so go for it. Otherwise, break up with both of them, and see a counselor! Link to comment
andyg Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 I WILL NOT PERSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY COUSIN... She's like a sister to me. And I definitely would not marry her. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Made a plan yet, AG? 1 Link to comment
andyg Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Well, I'm thinking about paying a visit to my cousin's shrink and making him aware of the situation. I'm going to get back together with my girlfriend, tell her the truth and see if she still wants to be with me. I need to explain to her that 1. it was a mistake and 2. I can't make love to her with lies on my conscience. I have no clue how she'll react or what it will do to my family if she tells but it's what has to happen I think. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Well, I'm thinking about paying a visit to my cousin's shrink and making him aware of the situation. I'm going to get back together with my girlfriend, tell her the truth and see if she still wants to be with me. I need to explain to her that 1. it was a mistake and 2. I can't make love to her with lies on my conscience. I have no clue how she'll react or what it will do to my family if she tells but it's what has to happen I think. For what it is worth, I think you are doing the right thing here Andy. For yourself, and for everyone else involved in this situation. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Well, I'm thinking about paying a visit to my cousin's shrink and making him aware of the situation. I'm going to get back together with my girlfriend, tell her the truth and see if she still wants to be with me. I need to explain to her that 1. it was a mistake and 2. I can't make love to her with lies on my conscience. I have no clue how she'll react or what it will do to my family if she tells but it's what has to happen I think. I am so proud of you! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Don't forget - we'll be here to support you! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 the above solution you have is great. you are finally seeing the light. this situation needs to end. who is to say your gf won't forgive you? she might. people come and go, but if your gf leaves you because of this, you need to accept it. you can't continue to date people with all of this going on. you've labeled yourself as a cheater, an inbreeder, and a liar (until you fess up, then you aren't lying anymore). you need to rid yourself of these labels and come clean. WITH EVERYBODY. your cousin will be upset, but that is for her to deal with, not you. it is a nice and commendable thing that you are looking out for other people's welfare, but you need to focus on yourself before you do that. .................................................................................................................................................................................... Link to comment
andyg Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Ghost, I haven't cheated on my girlfriend because we weren't together when I slept with my cousin, I haven't lied to my girlfriend because we haven't talked about it yet, and I'm not an imbreeder because we didn't actually "breed". At this point, the only thing I'm really guilty of is incest which in retrospect is kinda gross but mind your words before you start slinging judgement. Thanks -Andy Link to comment
cblack21 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think he was just saying you could potentially end up in that situation Andy. You're in a tough spot but you're going to handle it well. You'll come out of this situation a stronger person and if your girlfriend doesn't stick around, you'll be a better person for your next girlfriend. Things happen for a reason and you've grown as a man over the course of this thread. Be proud of yourself and keep us updated. Link to comment
tropicalx3 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 i'm not trying to insult you at all but did you ever think that the reason you liked having sex with your cousin was because you are a twenty year old guy who just likes sex? maybe since you lost your virginity to her, you grew attached to her & because she was blackmailing you, you then convinced yourself it was the best way to deal with this. Link to comment
tropicalx3 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 good luck with your girlfriend btw 1 Link to comment
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