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Everything posted by cblack21

  1. No friends and no one cares?!?!? are you kidding me? You have a woman that chose you as the one and only man to spend the rest of her life with... That is caring, and that should be your best friend and the one that matters most. If you want more friends and more to do, look into doing some volunteer work like habitat for humanity and things along those lines. I find that with life, when really bad things happens really good ones happen soon after if you let them and you can appreciate them more because of the bad.
  2. I took her on a repeat of one of our most memorable dates. I gave her a box of godiva chocolates, I really nice pillow and blanket from brookstone, and we started drinking some wine on the lakefront... then I gave her her card. We celebrated on saturday because she has to work tomorrow. Here's what the card said
  3. I'm taking her dad to lunch tomorrow to ask for her hand. If all goes well, I'm going to simulate one of our favorite dates together "carriage ride" amoungst other things. Then at the end on the lake front, I'm going to give her her valentines day card (we're celebrating it early because she has to work on the actual day). here's what the card will say. Feedback will be much appreciated. her name is repalced with *** February 10th, 2007... Remember that day because it's going to be an important one in the history of our relationship. may 12th, 2006 we met at mugshots and I knew the first time I met you that you would be a significant part of my life in some way. June 12th, I realized what that feeling I'd been feeling was... Love. I explained to you that I didn't want to just tell people that you were my girlfriend, I wanted you to actually be my girlfriend. June 17th, You realized what that feeling you'd been feeling was while we were on a carriage ride, minutes later we were covering eachother in powdered sugar. june 24th My 25th birthday... I love you, ya know? june 27th We finally tell eachother what that feeling was. August 8th You left for Virgina which started a new chapter of our relationship, we learned to be close with out touch, hard but it made us stronger. December 6th four months later we never have to be apart again. December 7th Your birthday and the day we welcome Maggie into our family. Back to the opening date... Today is the next big important day for us, it's the day we celebrated nine months together and valentines day a few days early... It's also the day I looked you in the eye when you finished reading this and told you I love you, then, I got on one knee and told you I can't imagine a future that doesn't involve you as my wife. I said "***, will you marry me?" and you said "_____". I love you ***.
  4. Yeah, I called and asked him about lunch and he sounded really excited. I took that as a good sign because she told him about a month ago that I'll probably ask at some point. But when I told her that he sounded excited about lunch, she pointed out that he really likes to eat
  5. Yeah... I'm not so much going to ask her mom. Her dad understands that she's 23 and growing up. Her mom is pissed off because we spend so much time together. Her parents are separated and the mom is lonely, my g/f moved home after college and her mom expected them to be best friends and spend all their time together... I kind of messed up that plan. Her mom resently told me that I'm the cause of all their problems and arguments. Should I really give someone like that the opportunity to be a b*tch to me yet again? We both know that she isn't going to take the engagement well but we've also decided that our future is for us to decide, not her. If her mom has her way, she'll be in her 40's living at home with no life watching reality TV with her mom... selfish. Her dad is very supportive of all of her choices and always considerate to me and I give him the same respect in return.
  6. Yeah, that's a conversation that comes up pretty often in dating. I generally talk about retarded people from the past saying it too early and then I drop the line "I do like you though.... I'm just not "in like with you"" I do the finger quotes when I say "in like with you" it generally draws a life and brings the conversation down to a much lighter note.
  7. You've got a real problem here... You're boyfriend is in one relationship and you are in two. If you are even thinking about being with another man and aren't sure, let them both know. Your boyfriend probably won't propose and this other guy will lose interest because you aren't a challenge anymore. You get to start from square one and maybe next time you'll find a guy you can respect. You obviously don't respect your boyfriend.
  8. I can relate to your boyfriend, society tells us that something specific is attractive and thereforeeee, that's what we believe. Pretty much every man on the planet knows that those women are attractive because that's what society tells us so we go along with it. If you grab a hand full of women with differant ethnicities, body types, facial shapes, and put them in a room with the above listed women... Then you put a man in the room and make him pick one, the majority of the men have something very specific they like and probably won't be going for the models... They are more common and generic because we see them all the time. Still nice to look at though. Sounds like he's a lucky man though because it sounds like he know's exactly what he wants and you're it. Smile francis, you're lucky to have eachother If you don't like the images, I bet he'd take them down.
  9. If you want to move out of the country, there are actually a lot of opportunities. I spent a little over four years as a Network Engineer for the DOD (my last job) and while there I got an offer for 80K a year tax free (roughly the same as making 120k in the states) in Kyrgyzstan the company with the contract is called multimax and I believe they still have one or two spots over that way. I posted above earlier but since we're in pretty much the same field, I'll give you more depth. I got laid off from a senior network engineer spot (NE II) and the spot offered to me when I started looking was an Enterprise Network Engineer spot (NE IV) I got a significant jump in pay and I'm now the highest ranking person in my command chain at my site (and in my state) not having a boss around to constantly answer to is incredibly liberating. I went from DOD to DOI which is also infinitely less stressful. Good luck, there are alot of jobs available right now.
  10. OK, my girlfriend and I have talked a good bit about marriage and we're both sure it's what we want. It's one of the many situations were we both knew in the first month and here it is a year later and we can't wait. I bought an absolutely amazing ring and I've got a really great plan for proposing, I'm more wondering about the best way to ask for her dad's approval. I'm thinking about asking him to lunch on friday but I'm not really sure how to bring something like that up. Should I ask right off the bat or lead up to it? Or is lunch a bad idea?
  11. It stopped in september. Once I replied to him, it all stopped. I was just commenting on his behavior upon finally seeing me in person.
  12. I don't have contact with him, I just thought the behavior was odd.
  13. Like I said, after the e-mail telling him what's up, he stopped e-mailing me and contacting her. The situation was just extremely weird. He probably would have left except there was a band playing with a $15 cover.
  14. My girlfriend and I have been together for nine months at this point and early in our realtionship I was getting anonymous e-mails saying that she's going to cheat on me and that she's going to leave me. She was somewhat close with her most resent ex until this started going on and he started hitting on her big time and telling her screwed up stuff like "we're both going marry other people then we'll divorce and end up together". She cut contact with him but these e-mails continued so I finally sent an e-mail telling him that I know who he is, I sent a picture of myself and told him to get a good look at me because if he ever sees me in public he would be well advised to go the other way. I'm a pretty relaxed guy but I've got clear boundry's and once they're crossed I can be a real @$$hole. So anyway, that was in september, she and I went out over the weekend and it was the first time he and I were in the same place. When we walked in the door, he was sitting at a bar stool, immediately looked her in the eye and instead of looking me in the eye, he looked at my feet. The whole night, he would not look me in the eye. At one point, she went to the bathroom and while I was waiting for her, he went in the mens room. When she came out, I told her to wait because he was in there and I wanted her to see his behavior. He did the same thing, he gave her a sad look when he came out and then looked at my feet. What's up with the whole not being able to look me in the eye thing?
  15. Ohh wow, I had a friend ask me that question. I was drunk and I gave her an honest answer "smart, funny, beautiful, motivated, and established in a career" she says "what's wrong with me?" and I say "you don't have a job" she said "I'm in grad school and I'll have a great job in may" I told her "talk to me in may". She got upset but before that, I never thought of her in that way and I thought of her as more like a sister than a friend. I thought we were joking when we had this conversation. So then later on, we were drunk again and she asks me about dating, I told her i'd be willing to give it a try and she told me that she won't be ready until may. Then, three months go by with almost zero contact. She calls me up the night before her graduation and tells me she wants me to be there and that I'm the only friend she invited. So I go and the whole time she barely talk to me, I end up meeting her little sister in the sorority that night and we've been together ever since, I'll be proposing soon... How crazy is that for a story about the topic at hand?
  16. This is dead on accurate. One of my best friends was having similar issues and I pointed alot of these things out to him. He acknowledged the problem and started working with it. I was amazed that no one had said it to him before. Very nice thread, I'm sure it will give some direction to some of the "Nice Guys" on ENA.
  17. OK, for four years I had a very hi stress job that required alot of after hours and overtime but I was salaried so I didn't get paid for anything over 40. I got laid off on October 18th 2006. I happened to be starting my vacation that day which is probably why they chose to do it then. I was in an LDR and going to see my girlfriend for a few days. When I got laid off, I figured I could use some time to relax before I started the job hunt so I extended my visit by a week. I had an awesome time hanging out with my girlfriend and that extra week was a nice bonus. When I got home, I put resumes out on a monday afternoon and by tuesday afternoon I already had an offer on the table for 20k more than my previous job and I'm not allowed to work even an hour over 40 in a week. My girlfriend is back home, the new job not only pays alot more but is infinitely less stressful then my last job. I didn't stress the lay off and I stayed positive and relaxed, it paid off huge.
  18. Is the problem that he had these feelings or that he told you about them? If you have a big problem with him having your replacement already lined up, I completely back you in leaving him. If the problem is just that he told you, I think you have to have honesty in a relationship. Personally, I would place the whole her or me scenario on the the table if you still view her as a threat because he made her that. You're feelings there are his doings, not yours. If you don't want to do either of those things than I really would suggest meeting her, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, I'd at least want to know what I'm dealing with and if it really is a threat.
  19. I think he was just saying you could potentially end up in that situation Andy. You're in a tough spot but you're going to handle it well. You'll come out of this situation a stronger person and if your girlfriend doesn't stick around, you'll be a better person for your next girlfriend. Things happen for a reason and you've grown as a man over the course of this thread. Be proud of yourself and keep us updated.
  20. Well, I just got my tax refund and I got my girlfriend an absolutely amazing ring. Now I'm just looking for romantic ways to give it to her. I know I want it to be somewhere private but also not at one of our houses, I'm thinking right after a carriage ride in the french quarter or something along those lines. Maybe making a picture book of our relationship to this point with the last picture being me on my knee with a ring and once she gets to that page, getting down on a knee and asking for real. Any other ideas?
  21. Not to change the subject, but whatever happened with the kiss? did you tell your SO? And as for bonding ideas, my girlfriend and I got to the park alot or we'll go explore in the woods. I live in a less rural area so we've got lots of other stuff to do too, but the park is great.
  22. Wow... That is completely crazy. You need to stop worrying about your ex at the moment and figure out what happened. First, you need to find out if you're still a virgin and get tested for STD's. you really need to talk to your cousin, how often do you see her?
  23. I've got a very similar situation. You really need to talk to your g/f about it first off, and get advice from her. Treat the mom respectfully but don't get walked on. Make an effort to spend more quality time together elsewhere.
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