What men really think about sex???

[quietgrl]

I never understood that either.

 

I wouldn't want to marry a virgin or even be with anymore virgins. I don't enjoy hurting someone during sex. Not my thing.

 

I also never understood people who wait until marriage before sex. What if you guys are totally not compatible and you find out after the wedding? Sure relationships are much more but man, if you are completely not compatible, that is rough.

 

TiredMan,

 

I never had a problem figuring out a man's sexual compatibility and i'm a virgin who has never experienced outercourse.I let men know there are things I want to do sexual in a committed relationship but most men i've met so far think my request are too demanding and some think i'm a sexual freak. I know there are going to be days, i'm not going to get an orgasm or my man not going to get an erection.The men who vcoem into my life know i want my sex life to be free not inhibited and all i need from him is a commitment.

A nonvirgin man who marries a virgin woman needs to be patient and let the virgin woman explore her sexuality.I keep saying this not all virgin women are naive to sex(excludes virgins who have explore outercourse)

[EvaGina]

There is an element that you wouldnt understand until you have more physical experience tho.

 

being open isnt always enough, some people just enjoy different things, different tempos.

 

My ex and I had a lot of sex, but it wasnt doing it for me, I ended up resenting him becuase he wouldnt do what I asked, no matter how often I told him what I needed. Then he started resenting me becuase I didnt want to have sex with him anymore.

 

It wasnt that we werent open to eachother, we were just sexually incompatible, he didnt UNDERSTAND the attraction of what I liked.

[Dako]

II also never understood people who wait until marriage before sex. What if you guys are totally not compatible and you find out after the wedding? Sure relationships are much more but man, if you are completely not compatible, that is rough.

 

I hear you. It'd be tough to be legally bound to someone without a drive, or one that's beyond wild. The wait-til-marriage folks seem to ignore that.

[quietgrl]

There is an element that you wouldnt understand until you have more physical experience tho.

 

being open isnt always enough, some people just enjoy different things, different tempos.

 

My ex and I had a lot of sex, but it wasnt doing it for me, I ended up resenting him becuase he wouldnt do what I asked, no matter how often I told him what I needed. Then he started resenting me becuase I didnt want to have sex with him anymore.

 

It wasnt that we werent open to eachother, we were just sexually incompatible, he didnt UNDERSTAND the attraction of what I liked.

 

Well , this virgin doesn't need physical sex to tell me that I'm not going to have a perfect sex life in a relationship.There are going to be times when i don't and want to be touch by a man sexually. A Man needs to realize stress, being tired,medication,injury and menopause can make a woman lose or gain their sex drive.I don't need physical sex to figure that out.I can't be 100% sexual compatibily with my husfriend or husband all the time. A man who's a great sexual lover and knows how to work through a woman sex drive due to stress,being tired,medication,injury or menopause won't have any serious issue with his long term girlfriend or wife.

 

 

Dako,

This wait-til-marriage/committed relationship chick hasn't ignore her or her future husfriend or husband sexual needs.

I wonder how many wait til marriage couples have a good sex life or really discuss their sexual desire before marriage.I notice most sex til marriage couple don't.

[TiredMan]

I know two people who got married and it was a perfect example. Both were virgins. Both from strict religious backgrounds. This was afew years ago. They got divorced.

 

She basically laid there on her back and wanted him to do missionary all the time. He couldn't get off unless she was did anal play ON him, which she was just not into. They tried to do what each other wanted but it just wasn't there.

[quietgrl]

I know two people who got married and it was a perfect example. Both were virgins. Both from strict religious backgrounds. This was afew years ago. They got divorced.

 

She basically laid there on her back and wanted him to do missionary all the time. He couldn't get off unless she was did anal play ON him, which she was just not into. They tried to do what each other wanted but it just wasn't there.

 

I bet like most religious virgins who wait until marriage.The couple didn't talk seriuosly about sexual wants and needs until the sex problem pop up in the marriage. That is a big issue in the virgin community, some virgins think they can't talk about sex or educate themselves about sex unless married.I believe sex for commitment virgins should educate themsleves about sex but you don't have to have uncommitted outercourse/intercourse to do so.

[melrich]

What is "outercourse"?

[Dako]

Wikipedia lists it as non-penetrative sex, but it seems to include everything else.

[quietgrl]

Wikipedia lists it as non-penetrative sex, but it seems to include everything else.

 

Thanks for the 411 dako

[Batya33]

I bet like most religious virgins who wait until marriage.The couple didn't talk seriuosly about sexual wants and needs until the sex problem pop up in the marriage. That is a big issue in the virgin community, some virgins think they can't talk about sex or educate themselves about sex unless married.I believe sex for commitment virgins should educate themsleves about sex but you don't have to have uncommitted outercourse/intercourse to do so.

 

Are gay women who have never had intercourse part of your "virgin community?" Just curious.

[TiredMan]

I bet like most religious virgins who wait until marriage.The couple didn't talk seriuosly about sexual wants and needs until the sex problem pop up in the marriage. That is a big issue in the virgin community, some virgins think they can't talk about sex or educate themselves about sex unless married.I believe sex for commitment virgins should educate themsleves about sex but you don't have to have uncommitted outercourse/intercourse to do so.

 

I know for a fact he didn't KNOW until he tried it. Without experiencing it, you really have no clue. No amount of sex ed comes close to being like experience.

[quietgrl]

Are gay women who have never had intercourse part of your "virgin community?" Just curious.

 

Yup! There are gay virgins out there and I use to talk to a gay male virgin a long time ago.He was looking to lose his virginity to a man.

[quietgrl]

I know for a fact he didn't KNOW until he tried it. Without experiencing it, you really have no clue. No amount of sex ed comes close to being like experience.

 

Tiredman if both people are open to new experiences in life. A couple not going to hit a major road block in their sex life.Again,i've brought up sexual things to my male friends and most of the men said "no way and i'm a sexual freak"(light bulb).This tells me these man are not open too new experiences but one man told me.QG, i'm not into that sexual practice but i would be willing to try because it would turn you on.This tells me he's open but he also could be turn off after the fact.I hav to keep that in mind if i wnt this man to be my sex partner.

 

People need to listen and comunication with eachother before having sex. Men need to realize stress,medication, being tired and menopause changes a woman sex drive.You need to be creative in the bedroom and not think intercourse is the only way of having sex. You need to find out if your wife is open before marriage and you also need to find out if your wife is still open if one of these things happen to her after you're married(stress,being tired,menopause).

[Dako]

I think the only way to know is to actually experience a sexual relationship over time. It's about actual feelings, not just thoughts.

 

If I were to marry again I'd want to be sure we'd hit it off in lots of ways, from temperament, interests, expectations, and even sex.

Sex is just one element of marriage, but to ignore it while testing all the others could be risky.

[TiredMan]

You can talk about sex and everything until your lips fall off but it does NOT take the place of experience. I'm sorry but it doesn't. And until you experience it and all the different thing, there is no way to say what you like.

 

It's like me telling you that I love the way that pizza tastes without ever having tasted it or anything close to it.

[Batya33]

I think experiencing it is a different thing but, for example, I don't need to experience casual sex to know I would not enjoy the experience, and I knew that before I ever had sex.

[Dako]

I wasn't referring to casual sex, but just sex within a relationship.

[quietgrl]

You can talk about sex and everything until your lips fall off but it does NOT take the place of experience. I'm sorry but it doesn't. And until you experience it and all the different thing, there is no way to say what you like.

 

It's like me telling you that I love the way that pizza tastes without ever having tasted it or anything close to it.

 

 

Tiredman,

 

We're both right on this one because you need to test the waters before a commitment and i don't.I know my man not going to alway get an erection after he makes a commitment to me. I have to prepare myself for those occasions or not make a long time commitment to a man period.

[TiredMan]

I think experiencing it is a different thing but, for example, I don't need to experience casual sex to know I would not enjoy the experience, and I knew that before I ever had sex.

 

From a "moral" POV you are right. From the "experience" POV, I completely disagree.

 

My first experiences came in a long relationship. My next 1 was a fling. It was completely different. It was hotter than I would have expected.

[TiredMan]

 

We're both right on this one because you need to test the waters before a commitment and i don't.I know my man not going to alway get an erection after he makes a commitment to me. I have to prepare myself for those occasions or not make a long time commitment to a man period.

 

That is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that, in my opinion, going into a marriage without having had sex first is like paying for an expensive piece of jewelry without ever having seen it or touched it.

 

I understand people not wanting to have casual sex. But I don't get how people can get married then have sex for the 1st time. Even if you are lenient, sometimes two people end up being completely not compatible.

[Batya33]

From a "moral" POV you are right. From the "experience" POV, I completely disagree.

 

My first experiences came in a long relationship. My next 1 was a fling. It was completely different. It was hotter than I would have expected.

 

Well, no, I know I do not enjoy being intimate with someone outside of an exclusive, caring relationship - so even if it was mindblowing or hot physically I would not be into it or enjoying it because I don't separate sex from love/caring. It's partly moral but mostly just my make-up. For example, chocolate cake is delicious, but if I am too full, I know I won't enjoy it even if someone says it's the best chocolate cake I will ever taste. I don't have to taste it to know I won't enjoy it.

[Dako]

I'm a flaming monogamist, and still would be concerned, if only for her sake. I'm no athlete.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I'm a flaming monogamist, and still would be concerned, if only for her sake. I'm no athlete.

You don't have to do anything

[Batya33]

That is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that, in my opinion, going into a marriage without having had sex first is like paying for an expensive piece of jewelry without ever having seen it or touched it.

 

I understand people not wanting to have casual sex. But I don't get how people can get married then have sex for the 1st time. Even if you are lenient, sometimes two people end up being completely not compatible.

 

It depends on your expectations of compatibility. I think if two people have passion and chemistry they can make the sex satisfying if they are willing to work on it. If the people have specific expectations about technique, how long it lasts, whether it always ends with the parties being satisfied, etc. then sure there can be incompatibility. If sex is the most important thing to one or both - meaning, the specific act, technique, etc, then sure with those standards, if it is not "amazing" the rest of the relationship may fall apart.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think like all aspects of a relationship; communication can improve even the worst situation. You're lover isn't psychic, you have to tell them, express yourself and then listen to them express themselves. Every person will have different likes and dislikes, learning those is part of the fun.