What men really think about sex???

[Baby Carrot]

I don't think you're the type of girl that would have that problem.

What "type" of girs have that problem?

[TheRedQueen]

They like it a lot.

[TiredMan]

TM, if you started off head over heels for someone and then tried to cool it off to casual for whatever reason because it seemed like it wasn't going to work out long term... you wouldn't be able to have NSA sex with her?

Or, is it easy to change her from one category to the other?

 

Not sure what you mean. And no if someone is in one category they can't be in the other one for me.

 

If I view a girl as a "freak" during sex, I can never have "love" feelings for her.

[TiredMan]

 

I have a question for the men. When you are in a commited relationship with a girl you love, and you see another attractive female somewhere, do you ever fantasize? Or do you just glance her way, admit she's attractive, and that's the end of it? Female curiosity.

 

I am in one and it depends. If I see someone on the street, I notice and then I forget about it. But I also admire a guy's physique too if it's in shape. So I notice something that looks good and then that's it for me.

 

Now if it's someone I see regularly or someone I know, I may fantasize about it a bit.

[EvaGina]

If I view a girl as a "freak" during sex, I can never have "love" feelings for her.

 

Really?

I find that very odd.

 

I could never love anyone completely if I couldnt be adventurous in bed with them. I suppose its a trust thing for me.

[melrich]

As DeNiro said in Analyze this when Billy Crystal asked him why he needs a g/f when he has a wife already. "She kisses me kids with that mouth"!

 

The Madonna Complex.

 

For some men, love and sex don't mix. For them, love is reserved for 'good' women, and sex is reserved for 'bad' women. In cases of the Madonna/ * * * * * Complex (or Syndrome), a husband's relationship with his wife may be based upon the unmet intimacy needs he had as an infant. He may unconsciously seek out a woman who reminds him of his mother so that those needs can finally be met.

When these men marry, they will marry a 'good' woman, a virginal woman. They will love her, they will protect her, and they will treasure her. But they don't feel comfortable having sex with her once they marry. It would be 'dirty', like having sex with their own mother -- the purest 'good' woman in their life. And, once their wife becomes the mother of their children, the lines blur even more for him between his wife and his mother.

[EvaGina]

The Madonna Complex.

 

 

It just seems to contribute to the notion that sex is dirty, which in turn contributes to feelings of guilt and so on and so forth.

[Dako]

Good call, melrich. I was thinking along those lines.

 

That pretty much nails down two categories.

[TiredMan]

I think sex when in love is more special. And completely different that the type of sex I like to have when it's a fling and I don't care about the person at all. Can't mix the two in my eyes.

 

I don't agree about the Madonna complex in it's entirety. I love to have sex with someone I love. But I wouldn't do some of the things (or at least feel right about some things) than I would if it's sex with someone I don't care about. I'd only marry the sweet type.

[melrich]

It just seems to contribute to the notion that sex is dirty, which in turn contributes to feelings of guilt and so on and so forth.

 

Yes some men subconsciously view some types of sex as dirty. They cannot associate that with a person they love so their sex life with the one they love will be different to the one they fantasise about or seek elsewhere with persons they have little or no emotional attachment to. It has various degrees.

[Dako]

I've known guys who sleep around but want to marry a virgin.

What happens when the virginal wife seems too tame?

[melrich]

What happens when the virginal wife seems too tame?

 

Even worse, when she is too wild!

[EvaGina]

Yes some men subconsciously view some types of sex as dirty. They cannot associate that with a person they love so their sex life with the one they love will be different to the one they fantasise about or seek elsewhere with persons they have little or no emotional attachment to. It has various degrees.

 

I dont wish to offend anyone here, but I find that quite pathetic.

In this day and age shouldnt one be able to explore their sexual desires without being condemed as "dirty" or "slutty" for it?

 

And as for only Marrying the "sweet" type... my bf and I have wicked sex... but our relationship is overly sweet, almost sickeningly so. How you relate to one another in bed doesnt always translate to every part of your life. The opposite happens in fact (ie, high powered men seeking to be dominated and the like)

[melrich]

In this day and age shouldnt one be able to explore their sexual desires without being condemed as "dirty" or "slutty" for it?

 

Yes of course. But people who have this complex cannot help having it. It's a psychological state. I am sure they do not choose it for themselves. Most do not even know they have it, they just have the values and emotions attached.

[EvaGina]

Yes of course. But people who have this complex cannot help having it. It's a psychological state. I am sure they do not choose it for themselves. Most do not even know they have it, they just have the values and emotions attached.

 

Totally understandable, but still kind of depressing.

 

When someone can admit "Can't mix the two in my eyes", shouldnt that be a warning sign?

 

I agree that people are right to have their standards, but when it becomes hypocritical, when a woman is disregarded as a partner becuase of her sexual appetites, I would think that a bit of soul searching would be in order.

[Dako]

EG, I agree.

It's a way some men cope with conflicting feelings about sex.

I've known misogynist men who look for that innocent and pure "exception" worth their love.

[EvaGina]

LOL

It helps explain a lot about some of my past "relationships"

 

I just cannot imagine what the LASTING attraction to someone that naive would be tho? (Perhaps I have a bad "virgin" sterotype??)

[melrich]

When someone can admit "Can't mix the two in my eyes", shouldnt that be a warning sign?

 

I want to make it clear I wasn't referring to anyone here, in fact I hadn't read that comment when I posted "Madonna Complex". Just the reference to the line in the movie.

 

From what I understand (and you would guess by its nature) it is a psychosis that is very deep rooted and I don't think something that could be addressed by simply recognising it. And of course some women may be quite comfortable in that type of relationship anyway.

[CharlesF]

The article is completely unimportant. Does it really matter if a man fantasizes about someone else?

 

I'm not sure what the point of the article was. It's probably something like "Beware of having sex with men". It mentions at first difference between the way men and women view sex, then the rest is male bashing. It is not worth all these responses.

[EvaGina]

I want to make it clear I wasn't referring to anyone here, in fact I hadn't read that comment when I posted "Madonna Complex". Just the reference to the line in the movie.

 

From what I understand (and you would guess by its nature) it is a psychosis that is very deep rooted and I don't think something that could be addressed by simply recognising it. And of course some women may be quite comfortable in that type of relationship anyway.

 

Thats fair I wasn't trying to pick on Tiredman (sorry Tiredman!!)

 

I know I have run into men like that before, I have even played that instinct against them (acting like the poor helpless girl)

 

I know that everyone has their own comfort zones and things, but it seems like such a foreign concept!!

 

come to think of it, my parents relationship is probably just that... I know she is comfortable in it (having spoken to her about it a lot) but I also know she isnt happy.

Perhaps thats why I get so up-in-arms about it.

[quietgrl]

I've known guys who sleep around but want to marry a virgin.

What happens when the virginal wife seems too tame?

 

melrich quote:

Even worse, when she is too wild!

 

I keep telling men don't assume a virgin on her honeymoon going to be sugar and spice and everything nice. .I know this strick virgin plans to explore in her long term relationship or marriage.

[EvaGina]

melrich quote:

Even worse, when she is too wild!

 

I keep telling men don't assume a virgin on her honeymoon going to be sugar and spice and everything nice. .I know this strick virgin plans to explore in her long term relationship or marriage.

 

ehhhhhhh he he, wicked

[TiredMan]

I've known guys who sleep around but want to marry a virgin.

What happens when the virginal wife seems too tame?

 

I never understood that either.

 

I wouldn't want to marry a virgin or even be with anymore virgins. I don't enjoy hurting someone during sex. Not my thing.

 

I also never understood people who wait until marriage before sex. What if you guys are totally not compatible and you find out after the wedding? Sure relationships are much more but man, if you are completely not compatible, that is rough.

[TiredMan]

I don't feel picked on. It's a choice I make. Just like other people are into certain things and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

I have great sex with my g/f but I wouldn't do kinky 3 way type stuff (for example) that I have done with someone I didn't care about.

[TiredMan]

I dont wish to offend anyone here, but I find that quite pathetic.

In this day and age shouldnt one be able to explore their sexual desires without being condemed as "dirty" or "slutty" for it?

 

That depends what it is. I don't discriminate against men or women. Both can be slutty in my eyes.