Observation has revealed....

[equinox]

One thing that I find interesting is how people react in social situiations. One topic that I have recently taken notice of is the subject or age gap releationships. I have a female "friend" whom is 19 and her boyfriend is 24. What I found interesting is what she told me about her friends reactions to her telling them his age. Now, personally, I don't care what she does but I found this interesting.

 

All, and I mean all, of her male friends told her to stay away from the guy. All of her female friends told her it was fine. This is something I've noticed in here also, alot of women respond to questions about age gap releations with something like "they're both adults so it's ok". Now my own opinion is that an 18 year old with a 24 year old is a bad idea and if she were my daugther or sister I wouldn't be long putting a stop to it.

 

Now, the pourpose of this thread is not to ask opinions on age gap releations but rather to ask why is seems to be that women are more accepting of age gaps. Opinions anyone??

[blueangel]

It's a fact: we're more mature than males who are our age. We want someone we can learn and grow from- that can truly romance us like a man and not a boy.

[equinox]

It's a fact: we're more mature than males who are our age. We want someone we can learn and grow from- that can truly romance us like a man and not a boy.

 

I don't like when "facts" are stated that place one sex above the other so I will take this slot just to say that I didn't write this thread to spark off a gender war.

 

Also, I don't think that it's true to say that girls are more mature than men their age at all.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Equi-

 

it has been my experience ..that woman mature faster then men.

 

i believe that this is why woman find it more acceptable.

 

The same goes in reverse... when you start getting older.... it is much more acceptable for an older gentlemen to date a much much younger woman.

 

However, when you see a very young man with a much much older woman..the reaction is different.

 

Or at least this has been my experience.

[Metallica Lightning]

It's a fact: We're more mature than males who are our age. We want someone we can learn and grow from- that can truly romance us like a man and not a boy.

 

I disagree with the underlined sentence. Women do not mature faster than men. It's a confliction of interest. I have a 16 year old son who could care less about having a girlfriend, he's much more worried about his guitar, his comic books, and his grades. Infact, I asked him for his opinion this morning on what I should get my ex-wife for Valentine's Day. His response was, "Dad, don't you know that Valentine's Day is a way for you to kick your wallet's @$$?"

 

He doesn't know the slightest thing about relationships, and nor does he care, but he can hold conversations with adults, control his emotions well, and make good choices (sometimes). So, I wouldn't say it was maturity at all.

 

 

Now with the bold statement, I agree. Seeing as you're 16, you've got all these romantic fantasies running through your head. The average "boy" doesn't care about them, but maybe someone more experienced with relationships will...

 

 

Kane.

[blueangel]

I don't like when "facts" are stated that place one sex above the other so I will take this slot just to say that I didn't write this thread to spark off a gender war.

 

Also, I don't think that it's true to say that girls are more mature than men their age at all.

 

That is my opinion. It came from me. thereforeeee it is a fact. Basically, girls and guys are different, yet are also equal. Still, older males have a better ability to be mature than younger ones do (even if they don't exercise that ability)- This is what is appealing to females because of our common "romantic fantasies"- we look for someone who can take us somewhere meaningful. Many may not look for that at first, but subconsciously I think most do, most try in some way.

 

I think men are generally protective of females. That's why SOME are less trusting of "older men" with younger females because visualizing that, they think of an older man as having more "power" over a female and a female becoming more vulnerable in the man's presense in whatever shape or form. Whereas females first think, "more knowledge, more experience- what a turn on. I'm attracted to that." And also, many don't think of themselves as someone they need to watch out for. Humans get themselves into trouble because of an inability to look at the big picture or their actions from an outsider's standpoint, just from a standpoint of thoughts like "here's what I think I want" and that's about it. So some females think of other females as other "me's" and support any "just going after whatever I want" decisions because they are thinking from a "me" standpoint, not necessarily that their friend could be making a bad decision. Guys can be like this with other guys as well. Understand? (neither do I I probably should have just stopped at the first paragraph)

 

Please keep in mind that I'm guessing and throwing out whatever pops in my head that makes sense. Of course there are always exceptions and no true facts in regards to male versus female behavior.

 

Lastly, when I said what I said above,

It's a fact: we're more mature than males who are our age. We want someone we can learn and grow from- that can truly romance us like a man and not a boy.

I meant that light heartily- almost like...I don't know....a joke, something to push your buttons. I guess it wasn't apparant enough, huh? I didn't carry accross the right tone there. I'm just a little sarcastic thing, really.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Hey Kane...

 

We are talking about relationships and that only proves my personal hypothesis that boys mature slower then girls... when it comes to emotions.

 

If boys becomes interested in girls ... after girls become interested in them... then they are behind when it comes to emotional maturity in relationships.

 

Which is why some girls go for older guys- because we are then at an equal maturity level with regards to relationships.

 

I do feel that some boys mature faster than some girls in other areas... for instance when handling their emotions..they are much better at rationalizing- but again, this is my own personal experience.

[blueangel]

You just made me appreciate even more the fact that my boyfriend is older than me, being 20. I choose not to date boys my age and you've confirmed that I shouldn't! I want someone who cares about the world. Most high schoolers don't, but for some reason I do. I am drawn to older males. And he and I don't live in a fantasy. We just happen to live in the brightest part of reality because we are responsible and secure with ourselves. This may or may not have anything to do with gender or having an age gap. Some things are just right for some people.

[HarleyHunny]

My b/f is 9 yrs older than me. I grew up without a dad, and believe that is one reason I'm so attracted to him. He's stable, has integrity, all around good man and he makes me feel 'safe'.

[blueangel]

Hey Kane...

 

We are talking about relationships and that only proves my personal hypothesis that boys mature slower then girls... when it comes to emotions.

 

If boys becomes interested in girls ... after girls become interested in them... then they are behind when it comes to emotional maturity in relationships.

 

Which is why some girls go for older guys- because we are then at an equal maturity level with regards to relationships.

 

I do feel that some boys mature faster than some girls in other areas... for instance when handling their emotions..they are much better at rationalizing- but again, this is my own personal experience.

 

I think girls grow more in tune with their body because of their period and other things they have to pay attention to about themselves. They feel pressured by society and other girls to wear makeup which also makes them more prone to internally analyzing themselves, rather than outloud- learning quickly through observing their culture that women must be more polished and less obnoxious/loud/rebellious if they can because it is unattractive. Females teach other females this the most and it is less learned by understanding what males want but by how the females act around them. Many females feel they must be more polished than guys, and this causes them to be stiffer- more repressed as they move through their life. It is through their relationships that have a chance to express outwardly their emotions and so a communicative relationship becomes one of their "needs."

 

Females become more aware of their body at a young age because they start periods young and must pay attention to the warning signals their body sends. These simple factors about a female's development make her subconsciously aware of herself in ways men are often unfamiliar with. Then, there is a female's brain. It works differently than a male's, but lifestyle and environment still take a tool on its development of habits and communication process (what I said above).

 

Oh, I don't know!

[Mythical_Suicide]

I am going to go off target here for a second and bring up the fact that yes, guys are very unaccepting of girls dating older guys when it comes down to friends, etc.. but If a 19 year old guy was to say to his buddies "Yea man im dating a 40 year old chic" THey would be congratulating him. It's a double standard thing all around the board, a chic is looking for a fatherly figure when she does it but a guy, well he's just being a guy.

[Metallica Lightning]

Hey Kane...

 

We are talking about relationships and that only proves my personal hypothesis that boys mature slower then girls... when it comes to emotions.

 

If boys becomes interested in girls ... after girls become interested in them... then they are behind when it comes to emotional maturity in relationships.

 

Which is why some girls go for older guys- because we are then at an equal maturity level with regards to relationships.

 

I do feel that some boys mature faster than some girls in other areas... for instance when handling their emotions..they are much better at rationalizing- but again, this is my own personal experience.

 

Which is precisely what my example intended to reflect (to the statement I bolded). I got the feeling that she said males matured slower overall. My apologies.

I read a small article in time magazine, who did a study on the largest teen based forum in the world. The study noted a fact that almost every female posted in the relationship forum, while males dominated political and religious discussions. I think that pretty much says it all. I'm in my forties, and I couldn't give a whoot about relationships either.

[equinox]

Which is precisely what my example intended to reflect (to the statement I bolded). I got the feeling that she said males matured slower overall. My apologies.

I read a small article in time magazine, who did a study on the largest teen based forum in the world. The study noted a fact that almost every female posted in the relationship forum, while males dominated political and religious discussions. I think that pretty much says it all. I'm in my forties, and I couldn't give a whoot about relationships either.

 

Yes I agree. I think that females are geneticly programmed to think about releationships while males are genetically programmed to think about the world around them more. I am 20 and allthough I have done very well in terms of mental developement I am almost clueless as to releationships and women. Really, I'm terrible lol. It's strange, I can read through a computer programe and make sense of it but I wouldn't know what to do with a girl on a date.

[Metallica Lightning]

Yes I agree. I think that females are geneticly programmed to think about releationships while males are genetically programmed to think about the world around them more. I am 20 and allthough I have done very well in terms of mental developement I am almost clueless as to releationships and women. Really, I'm terrible lol. It's strange, I can read through a computer programe and make sense of it but I wouldn't know what to do with a girl on a date.

 

Haha, at least you're 20 instead of 42, you have time to mature in the way women do, but I however do not, and after all these years, I've decided that I don't care much either

But I understand where you're coming from. I can easily understand media technology, and I can communicate with a guitar better than a woman.

[MissTee]

I just want to say that I'm 20 and my bf is 28 (we met when I was 19) and we have been living together for the last 3 months and we are completely stable and happy.

 

I would also like to say that guys my own age or anywhere within the 5 year vicinity of my age are way too immature for me.

 

I like the stability, maturity and support my bf provides. It helps me to focus more on my development as a person and in my career as he has the knowledge, time and experience in these areas to nuture my growth.

 

Also, the sex is like a MILLION times better

[Metallica Lightning]

I just want to say that I'm 20 and my bf is 28 (we met when I was 19) and we have been living together for the last 3 months and we are completely stable and happy.

 

I would also like to say that guys my own age or anywhere within the 5 year vicinity of my age are way too immature for me.

 

I like the stability, maturity and support my bf provides. It helps me to focus more on my development as a person and in my career as he has the knowledge, time and experience in these areas to nuture my growth.

 

Also, the sex is like a MILLION times better

 

Speaking of not understanding women, this is one thing I have never been able to figure out. Why do women constantly insist that they need support when they can get through life just as well as men? Women are not weak creatures, they don't need help with anything. Men can get through life all alone. Why can't a woman do the same?

I haven't dated in 3 years, but I'm sure things haven't changed so quickly since then. I dated a 22 year old girl for a while when I was 38. She was by no means interested in mooching off of me (I'm not saying you're mooching), or having my help in her financial troubles, and believe me, she DID have financial troubles.

Now today, it seems every young woman is wanting all kinds of support from men, when they can get through it on their own, just like men do.

I tried dating again, and once again I met a girl who was vastly younger than me. She was only the second girl I had seen that was more than 2 years younger than me. All she pretty much wanted from me was to help her through college...Hello! Get a job!

[Hemorrhage]

A woman requires special things just as men do. For instance, women have a need for connection, protection, harmony, and communication. Men however, value independence, calmitity, and pride. Obviously, you're a very independent person, so this is going to be diffucult to explain to you. Women like to be taken care of; it makes them feel wanted, and/or loved. I don't like it at all, but I have learned to accept the facts.

I agree with you when you say women can get through life on their own, and that they are indeed paralel to men. However, this is where a woman's needs come in to play. Women don't like to do things on their own because they are auditory, social creatures. Needy ones too. Having a man take care of a woman makes her feel secure and protected.

 

As for other matters, I don't like to stereotype, but I think that most women are in relationships with older men to be taken care of, and for financial security. Which is why my father has always told me, "Never go for the younger ones unless you want a significant portion of your paycheck."

And I agree with the statements above. It is pretty obvious that women mature faster than men emotionally, but no, they don't mature faster overall.

[PhilliesFan001]

I'm not sure exactly. I know a lot of young women who would love to marry rich and mooch off their husbands forever. I'm a college student so of course I'm always broke, but I'd never dream of asking my BF (7 yrs older) to pay a single cent of anything for me. I even feel bad when he buys me gifts for holidays or birthdays.

 

So I guess it depends on the woman. I was raised to be really independent so I don't need my BF, his money, or his stability. I'm not with him because he makes me feel secure or taken care of at all. I want a romantic partner, not a father. I'm perfectly fine on my own, even if it means I need to work 3 jobs to pay off my student loans.

[MissTee]

Whoa! No offence but you sound a little bitter...

 

I just want to clear things up right away.

 

I work full time and I come from a wealthy family where I was raised by a very independent, career Mum. I have never ever asked my boyfriend for a single cent. I pay for my fair share of everything. If fact, we halve every cost of living in our household except for the rent where he pays a little bit more than me because he earns more, which was a mutual decision.

 

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship unless it was a loving, nurturing and supportive environment. And when I said SUPPORT in my previous post, I wasn't referring to MONEY. Emotional support. He is my cheer sqaud. I am a young career woman and my boyfriend SUPPORTS this, as he is a career man.

 

And, I'm sure if you asked him, he would say that I provide him with just as much SUPPORT as he provides me.

 

Money has nothing to do with our relationship.

 

Also, if I wanted to be single... I would be. I have no doubt in my mind that I would be completely capable in finding success, happiness and fulfillment by myself but I CHOOSE to be in this relationship because I am in love. I choose to have a partner. I may be young but if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that being in love and in a relationship where you are both very happy and fulfilled... Being single and "getting through life alone", doesn't even compare.

 

Good luck buddy.

[Parsley]

Rubbish. Of course women need help to get through this, just as much as men! Are you saying that therapy is a completely redundant practise? Everyone needs help and support. Why are you on these forums if you can 'get through life all alone'?

 

My ex boyfriend was 6 years older than me, with a full time job. I was a student. I paid for every visit I made to him, my food while I stayed with him, food for him sometimes, bus fare for us when we went out. I sent him things to cheer him up. The most I received in our relationship was a coke. I know a lot of people in relationships with older people and none of them 'mooch' like you think so many of them do. Do NOT make generalisations like that. It's just going to alienate you from a lot of people who do not share your views, which you will probably find is the majority.

[Metallica Lightning]

You are one stupid little girl. Were you inbred?

Incase you haven't noticed, life is harsh, and you have to get through it alone or you will not survive. Obviously, I'm a * * * *, and I could care less about another's feelings, but that's what you have to do in life sister is focus on yourself, and how you're living. No one needs provision except children. If a woman expects any kind of support from me, I tell her to hit the road.

[SexySadie7]

No.. i think you do know blueangel.. You've said it pretty well. Yes, are subject to pressures from all kinds of things that guy have no clue about. Not to say that guys are clueless, but let's be honest, we have alot more to contend with just growing up than guys do.

Guys don't have to worry about getting pregnant when they have sex. I often wonder, if guys, after they've had sex with someone, don't worry or even think, that possibly, someone they've had sex with might be pregnant by them.

I don't know... that's just something I wonder about. Guys have no way of knowing for sure, whether they've impregnated someone they've slept with, unless they spend 2 months solid with that person.

Women are conditioned to act a certain way. Hey, we are not even supposed to get angry.. that's considered a "bad" trait in women. And we are evil and bad-tempered if we do. Man, on the other hand, are expected to stand up for themselves. It's okay for guys to get mad, to even hit each other. That's NOT okay for women. We don't really have too many escape valves when you think of it. That's probably why so many more women are depressed than men.

Women often have a hard time doing that, cuz if we do get angry, we are often put down, for being too aggressive or hostile. There's tons of pressures that girls are put through that guys don't even have to think about.

Just look at guy's clothes nowadays. While women's are mostly skintight to be considered "hip", guys pants and shirts are so baggy, they could be 30 lbs overweight and no one would even suspect!!

You try to conceal an extra 30 lbs in today's women's fashions! Good Luck! lol