Getting my picture back -- too immature???

[agualibre777]

Well, so I broke things off with my guy last Friday by email. We weren't exclusive per say but had what I thought was a solid friendship. Anyways, he didn't respond at all. And when I ran into him on the street we had a strange interaction that was difficult for me to interpret. I did send him a couple of emails afterwards, and he hasn't responded. Last night I sent him one just saying that I felt sad he hadn't replied at all, that it would have been nice for him to say something to help with closure. Just something. And that I felt conflicted, I wasn't sure if our friendship had meant anything to him, that the sex at the end was really cold and it had really hurt me even though I hadn't told him at the time.

 

He hasn't replied or called or anything. I know I'll get through this, but it's painful that he couldn't say even a word, like yeah, eventually we'll be friends... SOMETHING. But instead it's absolutely NOTHING. I don't know what to think about it, one can view it as he cares and that's why, the other view could be that he doesn't care at all, and then it's possible to see it somewhere in the middle that he kind of cared but it didn't mean enough for him to respond, thinks it'll be a good way to get rid of me to ignore me. Or something.

 

So... I had given him this special picture I drew that he liked, and it was framed. And it's real nice. But I can't help but want to email him and ask him for it back. After all, if he doesn't care for me that much, he probably will just throw it away or in a closet or something and I rather give it to a friend that will actually like it or put it on my own wall. Is it wrong to ask for it back????

[Boughs]

I wouldn't ask for it back.

 

EDIT: Let me expand on this.

 

I did the same thing, drew a huge picture for my ex. She loved it... I loved it... probably my fav drawing I ever made. Well, she framed it and kept it. I miss that drawing a lot myself... but if i were to ask for it back, I KNOW that it'd seem silly/stupid. + I like knowing she either kept it or threw it away. Its a piece of my past that is out of my hands. I'd say don't ask, just stop thinking about it.

 

Keep to yourself from here on out, NC and the like. Screw this guy.

[renaissancewoman101]

If you broke up with him, why are you asking him for a gift that YOU gave him? That sounds kinda tacky.

[agualibre777]

I broke up with him because he didn't seem to care about me. The way I see it, he really broke up with me...

[Mythical_Suicide]

I agree with PP's why would you want to ask for a gift that you gave him back? I understand that you're hurt by what happened and so on But just let it go. Besides, are you really wanting to email him to get the picture back or to email hims omething you know he'll respond to?

[DN]

Are you sure you want the picture back or is it really a way to try to make him respond to you?

[agualibre777]

Yeah, I guess it really hurts me more if I ask him for it back. Cause then I don't think I'd really want the picture anymore. Sigh. I guess it just hurts so much the whole thing and I honestly just want to get some sort of reaction out of him....

[Hope75]

Are you sure you want the picture back or is it really a way to try to make him respond to you?

 

I was wondering this too.

 

After all, you gave him the picture as a gift. That doesn't mean you get to take it back when you break up. If you ask me, the only gift that should be returned upon a breakup is an engagement ring.

[blanchett]

I agree that you shouldn't ask for the drawing back. It was a gift. It might also appear that you are looking for a reason to re-contact him if you ask for it back, which will be perceived as a sign of weakness and the best thing you can do in this situation is appear strong until you actually feel strong. He's been insensitive prior to and after the breakup. Your best response to him is silence. Detatching from contact will make him wonder what happened to YOU vs. the other way around, and that's a better position for you to be in. Do something nice for yourself, and good luck!!

[shikashika]

YOU broke up with him... it doesn't really matter what the excuses are.. I believe tgat if you really really like someone you wouldnt' break up with him because you thought he didn't like you.

 

I think thats sort of like saying

 

"its not me its you"

 

 

"I love you but not in love with you"

 

or something equally truthful... ha ha ha!!

 

Maybe he is a member of ENA and has been frequenting the breakup forum and everyone is telling him to do No CONTACT with you... that is what everyone on here suggests... and why... if you broke up with him should he be expected to be on friendly terms with you??

 

in a sense, by breaking up with him, you are saying" i dont' like you in that way... but please still like me... oh.. but on my terms only'

 

why do you want something back that you gave him... its a break up.. over... finito..

 

if you want the picture back are you planning on telling him you are sorry and want to get back together with him?

[Follow Me]

The way I see it, he really broke up with me...

Well, so I broke things off with my guy last Friday by email.

 

You broke up with him, and you didn't do it in person. You are also trying to shift the blame onto him. That's why he won't return your emails. Would you want to be his friend if he did this to you?

[agualibre777]

You all aren't understanding. I broke it off because he wasn't that into me. That's why. It was for my own heart, because I liked him more and instead of letting myself be more hurt in the long run, I ended it early. He was non-committal. That's why. I know I shouldn't have broke it off by email, but I did. Cause I'm impulsive.

 

I'm not gonna ask him for the picture. He did send me an email apparently just before I posted here, which I'm currently contemplating.

[Boughs]

All in all, you seem to be wanting a response/rise out of him, don't you find it kinda... well a childish approach by wanting something back?

 

I think if you called him up... and be very brief, you say "hey, I'm sorry if this is awkward but I really would love my picture back. If you could just set it out front of your apt./house, and I could stop by and grab it, I'd really appreciate it".

 

DO NOT TALK TO HIM WHEN YOU GET IT. PICK IT UP AND LEAVE AND PURSUE NC.

 

Do not do this to get a rise out of him.

[agualibre777]

I think I just needed to post that to keep myself from doing something stupid. I needed to see what I was thinking more clearly so I could understand it. True my motivation was to get a response, and I knew if he responded the way I was asking him too it would have hurt more. I wouldn't have wanted the picture had he given it back as it would have represented our separation....

 

Ended up getting his email, ran into him yesterday, wound up talking for 45 minutes on the street in the cold, felt like I can't stay mad or hurt once I talk to him. I can see it's completely inevitable that if I keep being friends with him I'm going to love him. He's an amazing person.

 

He told me cared about me, that he believed in me, that he wanted us to be friends. And honestly, I know that he does.