Starting Over

[Hauke]

Unfortunately I have lost everything, job, money, car, and so on. After I lost my job I took my savings and went on a cross country road trip, intending to find a new place in which to settle and start anew. I had the time of my life for three months and I fulfilled a life time dream to see America, but my cash was running low, so I returned.

 

Afterwards I went through half a year in transition, sorting out myself, the anger, fears, dealing with loss, and trying to deal with much of what comes with transition in life.

 

I'm ready to move on. I have no cash, but $10,000 I received recently from a relative. I'm very unhappy where I am, and would like to put it behind me. Should I just fly out to the city I liked most on my road trip, get a room for a few months and begin there, or should I get a car and look for a job here.

 

I am curious to learn whether anyone has relocated with nothing but a little cash and started anew. I would like to know what the challenges were, and what the rewards were.

[Clementine orange]

You wouldn't believe how many people would actually envy you to be in that position. The possibilities are endless! Unfortunately that's what can drive you crazy. OK, I've done it. I've "disappeared" and relocated somewhere else. My biggest challenges were good old loneliness and too many options. Having money really helps. Doing this with no money is even harder.

 

I kept a journal, somehow that kind of grounded me. I also tried to maintain that sense of adventure, that sparkling new feeling. I ditched a bunch of old ways of thinking and doing things and bad habits and used this opportunity to remake my life and my attitude towards it.

 

One can never run away from one's self but one certainly can run away from elements of it (I called it pruning)

 

Good luck to you!

[Hauke]

I think that's what I'll do. I am, however, preoccupied with the idea of not having a car. I suppose that issue would get resolved, I mean, I don't really have anything to come back to here where I am, so what do I have to lose? Thanks! I've nearly made up my mind to go.

 

Could you share some of your journal experiences, or,... maybe I really want to know this: is there a plan of action one follows when doing this? I suppose not, I mean I hardly think I would run out of the money I'm taking with me there and end up homeless. Life, I suppose, would work itself out? right?

[Juliana]

Yes. I relocated to a new city where I had one friend, who was moving after 6 mos, and I had $300. It was well worth it.

[Clementine orange]

I only had one over-riding all-encompassing plan: maintain sanity. I was coming from a messed up place so ....

I didn't have a car either - it was a drain on the resouces. I also watched my money very carefully. The homeless factor was terrifying for me so i was very cautious.

[millaj]

I agree, you are very lucky!! Do what your heart feels best.

[Hauke]

Thank you so much for the good advice.

[GQstatus]

Iv'e also done this. Quit my job early summer of 05, threw everything into my car that would fit, left the Midwest headed for California. Lived at my mom for a short time, moved to the Bay Area, reunited with a girl I had met 5 years earlier through family. We fell in love.

 

Moved down to LA for 5 months (with the gf), HATED it. Broke up with the gf, moved back to the bay area, worked on a movie, met the coolest people on earth. Had a BLAST. Unfortunately I came back to the Midwest over the holidays, and found out the day before I was to return back to the west coast, i no longer had a place to stay.

 

So here I am, back at square one. No car (still sitting in Cali waiting to be sold) no money, living with my dad. Hopefully I'll have a job this week, and my car will sell so I can purchase another. It sucks, starting over, but I guess it keeps things interesting!

 

With 10 g's you're hardly broke. If you're looking for a new start, I say go for it, buy a decent used car for a couple grand, head off to your most well liked city, find a job, get a place and experience your NEW life. It sucks moving somewhere, where you don't no anyone, but it feels great starting over. Good luck!

[rocio]

As cheesy as it sounds, my only recommendation would be to follow your heart.

 

I started out with about $300, a cheap car, and a few clothes. I stayed in a few different cities before finally finding my 'home'. But I wasn't even in that city for 10 minutes and I'd already realised this was where I needed to be. It felt right. And I never regretted that decision. Making friends was easy but finding good, true friends that I had alot in common with was harder. Loneliness is a big factor. There's also the fact that you can't usually run from your problems. You need to know what went wrong with your life and how to prevent that from happening again. You can move accross the world but you'll always follow yourself.

 

Life does work itself out. You don't really need a plan. I would follow what feels right, because somehow things will turn out better than you ever could have planned or hope for. But DO have a back-up plan.

[flutterbywngs]

Starting Over has been my theme for the past year. After my divorce I couldn't stand the idea of living in the same town (very small town) as my ex, so I sold some of my music gear and furniture and used that money to move myself somewhere new. I ended up in Hollywood, California, which in reality is only a couple hours from where we had lived together, but it was far enough for me to feel comfortable. I've managed to get by on a month to month basis...even after I got the cash from the sale of our home it wasn't much, but I did take a nice vacation and did some things I've always wanted to do.

 

Anyway, for me Hollywood was the right destination because it's filled with things that interest me... like music and clubs, which has made the transition so much easier. I can always find something to do and I've made a lot of new friends who are into the same things I am. I say follow your heart. That city that you loved on your road trip just might love you back. You've only got one life...so LIVE IT UP!

[Hauke]

WOW!!

 

thanks, I'm going for it

[Hauke]

I'm thinking about the problems I'll take along, like a $25 g debt from car repoed and credit cards. but, since i'm so unhappy here, I think I'll make it a go and deal with those problems there. If I didn't go they'd still be here. Am I right? You see it's nearly unbearable here, very bitter towards city where I used to work, my parents really want nothing to do with me, etc.

[rocio]

I'm thinking about the problems I'll take along, like a $25 g debt from car repoed and credit cards. but, since i'm so unhappy here, I think I'll make it a go and deal with those problems there. If I didn't go they'd still be here. Am I right? You see it's nearly unbearable here, very bitter towards city where I used to work, my parents really want nothing to do with me, etc.

 

Debt is ok. Poor money management habits are not. If you want to start over, you need to look within yourself to see what you want to change. Moving to a new city can accompany that, but it's secondary.

[Hauke]

I see your point, but I was fairly good with money until the end. I got fired and was taking care of an ailing cousin. I certainly intend to pay my debts, but they would taunt me here, where I'm so unhappy as well as there. I'm sad and very guilty about spending these last six months in a state where I did nothing to change my life; but then again, maybe I needed that time to sort things out. Of course I could wipe out half the debt out with the 10g, but I would still be in the same position I am now, just 15g in debt. I truly think that sort of stuff would resolve itself.

 

I'm not really running away, I've nothing here. I live with my folks, who sadsly want me away from them, I hate to look outside and to see the city I worked in, at a job that was terribly, I feel, unfair to me. I'm very ashamed I haven't found work yet. I say it's hard to find a job, because I have no car.

Everything is too stagnant here for me. I think I need a new place to search for work and pay my bills, will be fresh. I'm still apprehensive. My credit's shot, how would i get an apartment, or even a job. Unsure, a bit.

[lizziebee]

In November '05 I packed everything that would fit in my Liberty and left my husband....flipped my car in a rollover 2 hours away from my families town, broken but not beaten I am now 3000 miles away my ex and I live in a rooming house, broke, p/t job, had no money for divorce so all of my family pics and the rest of my 'life' is back out west....but you know what? I am learning more about myself than I ever thought possible, like, 'maybe I am a good person and should not be abused everyday' and last summer I fell in love. The only thing I really miss are the 40 year old photos of my mom, dad, sis, etc. and my dog.

[Juliana]

"I could wipe out half the debt out with the 10g, but I would still be in the same position I am now, just 15g in debt."

 

Money management gurus advise people not to spend their last money trying to wipe out debt, but rather, use it to support yourself while looking for a job. Once you have a steady salary again, you can begin making payments to reduce the debt.

 

"I say it's hard to find a job, because I have no car."

 

If this is true, then I assume you are living in an area with no public transport system. You should move to an area that has one. Cars are not a guaranteed fact of life, they are a luxury item. If you are moving to a city, your car could easily become a liability, due to the cost of parking, gas, insurance and maintenance. Once you are fully employed, you can get a car and not have to worry about how you will keep it when you are out of money.

 

"My credit's shot, how would i get an apartment, or even a job."

 

Cheap basement apartments or shared accommodation won't require a credit check. First and last's rent upfront should be sufficient. The reality is, you are poor, and you are going to have to live frugally to stretch that money until you can get work. If you find that you can't make a go of it in the new city, make sure you have enough money to get home. At least your parents will know you tried to get work.

 

I strongly advise that you find an area with a red-hot economy, and look for work there. That way, even if the work you want isn't immediately available, there will be work at lower-paying, lower status jobs that will support you while you job hunt, or gather more education, or change career goals. You should consider getting a newspaper from the area you want to move to, and apply to jobs there before you move out there, so potentially, you could have a job waiting for you.

[Hauke]

thanks julianna, I'll heed the advice

[Jetta]

Juliana,

I really think you should go to the city where you got the good energy from. You're starting over either way, you may as well go where you think you'll be happier. Granted where you are you have family to fall back on, so you should consider that aspect. But really if you found a place go! I went roadtriping to find a place. I travelled around CA and the western states because I used to want to live in CA. It wasn't a happy place for me, even with the ocean. Loved the mountains, but not the states. I didn't drive around CO though. Maybe I'll take another road trip and check that area out, once I get back on my feet.