Shy and waaaay too young looking..

[RoseKnight]

I always have problems meeting girls, i've dated like maybe twice and that was back in highschool, had an online relationship for 4 years that ended badly and am nervous as hell about dating.. im 25 and still a virgin.. i look like im about 14 and have somewhat of a femenine look to my face which doesnt help cause im sure people look at me and think im a kid or a chick.. oh and to top it all off im 5 foot 4 inches tall... any advice..

[sumguy]

always have problems meeting girls, i've dated like maybe twice and that was back in highschool, had an online relationship for 4 years that ended badly and am nervous as hell about dating.. im 25 and still a virgin..

 

Virginity is nothing to be ashamed about. There's the standard eNotalone answer for meeting people and getting out there: Join Clubs with similiar interests to you, don't meet women with expectations(basically live for the moment) and take chances.

 

And good luck!

 

somewhat of a femenine look to my face which doesnt help cause im sure people look at me and think im a kid or a chick..

 

A dashing, well-trimmed beard/goatee combination? Either way, hope I helped a little =)

[Siriana]

I am 5 foot 2 inches... so you see there are smaller girls in this world too.

 

Your avatar is very small so I can't see your face completely, but you don't look young to me.

 

25 and still virgin doesn't count as something bad.

 

Give us a bigger picture of yours! I am sooo curious. There is a post your picture thread in the off topic forum. or you can make an attachment here. Of course only if you want to!

 

You can see me and my bf in my profile pic.

[musicguy]

I'm 27 and I'm 5'5. Being shy you'll overcome within time. I have long hair and get the whole "ma'am" thing when I'm at work, so it's okay. You look like a rocker, if you are, go to a concert or be in a band. cuz we all know girls like musicians

[shy2cool]

You look alright mate. Trim your hair a bit and you will look your age.

[Caer]

Yep, if you don't feel that your hair is that much a part of your identity, try a radical (or even not so radical) change, sometimes something as shallow as that can make you feel like a new person.

 

I too can look a lot younger than my age, I get asked for ID all the time when I go out (and here in .au, you only have to be 18 - that's 6 years younger than me!).

(No) Thanks to my genes, I can't grow a beard or sideburns worth anything (I just look like I'm trying too hard ), but I've found that some strategic stubble (carefully choose the time when you shave ) can make me look my proper age. Maybe the same would work for you?

[shy2cool]

Strategic stubble.... that's what gets people to call me sir rather than mate.

[vermilion]

I think you look cute.

 

Not all girls are into the same thing you know.

 

And maybe it's time you cut your hair a bit? Long hair for guys is sort of a high school thing, no offense. I mean, I personally think long hair is hot, but I think most girls don't- especially as they get older. Only if you don't really care about your hair though. I mean, don't cut your hair just because girls will like you better if you're going to be miserable with it.

 

Strategic stubble.... that's what gets people to call me sir rather than mate.

 

haha, "strategic stubble" ? Where is that placed? I think if you can manage it, why not grow a full beard? Those are hot....

[real2]

Long hair gives off a hobo-look.

[poloplayer]

Hi,

 

look like im about 14 and have somewhat of a femenine look to my face

 

That's not a bad thing at all. I'm 25 and I look like I'm 16. Besides the few wisecracks that ask me when I'm graduating high school, most of the comments are from girls who compliment me on my looks.

 

Certain things about your body are out of your control. Focus on things about your body, and yourself that you can improve on. Maybe start hitting the gym, perhaps a new hair-do or hair style, a different style of clothes, and hobbies/interests which you either abandoned a long time ago or never really started.

 

Sometimes when we get into a rut, we dwell on the negative. But too much of that is a bad thing! You start a downward spiral of negatives, when in reality it's not that bad. Focus on your strengths, work on some things which you are unhappy about, and learn to accept the things you cannot change. Develop some good habits. One thing thay ALWAYS helps me is helping someone out, such as volunteering or service work. It keeps me in check by teaching me that my life is actually great compared to those I help, yet I can easily get carried away with problems I create in my mind.

[Clementine orange]

Go to the gym and work out. Try to achieve that "T" look that is unmistakably male. That and walk tall. Men and women walk differently. Don't worry about the long hair. Anthony Keidis is a man without any doubt.

[RIPDIME]

I really hope you dont listen to any of these people. You look very cool, in fact very similiar to Alexi Laiho from Children Of Bodom and all the girls love that guy. What I have learned a long time ago is that girls are really more worried about personality than looks, the only problem is the shyness. Maybe im not the right person to talk to since im so shy and I havent even had a girlfriend yet but honestly dude, all you have to do is work on your shyness, our judging of our looks is just a substitute the mind makes up when a person can't get what it wants.

 

And to all you tools who think, OMg hE ShoUld Cut HiS Hair Lolz, seriously just grow the hell up. Long hair looks a lot better than short hair.. it frames someones face and in turn makes someone look older and cooler, it's simply better looking. The problem in a society such as ours that scorns individuality and "being yourself" is that girls have gotten this mentality that short hair looks better because theyve been conditioned to that for so long. Just look at many time eras how many people had long hair and it was considered powerful and good looking (1800's men wore ponytails) and many hundreds of years ago everyone had long hair. Its just basically ignorance id say but than again, the average IQ of North American's at the moment is pretty damn low.

[real2]

And to all you tools who think, OMg hE ShoUld Cut HiS Hair Lolz, seriously just grow the hell up. Long hair looks a lot better than short hair..

 

"Be yourself" personality-wise is key. He can be a cool guy, but appearance is a must. When I see long hair, I see long girly hair, I think of a hobo or a hippie.

 

Society judges us on appearance before a social confrontations. Several people have suggested getting a haircut and to some extent weight training if necessary.

 

In the dating game, it is absolutely essential to look your best.

[Kevin T]

Being yourself doesn't work if you're shy/ugly.

 

BTW, I'm not saying the topic creator is ugly. He's clearly not. He looks... oddly familiar. I wonder if I've met him before...? "Alabama..." nope. Damn, he does look familiar though... Hmm. Maybe it's a "pseudo-location?" lol

[RIPDIME]

"Be yourself" personality-wise is key. He can be a cool guy, but appearance is a must. When I see long hair, I see long girly hair, I think of a hobo or a hippie.

 

Society judges us on appearance before a social confrontations. Several people have suggested getting a haircut and to some extent weight training if necessary.

 

In the dating game, it is absolutely essential to look your best.

I see I have failed to really try to explain common sense, it just appears that you are ignorant. When I see long hair, I think Metalhead, Punk, Lumberjack, Movie producer, Musician.. the list goes on and on.. so what, what you see is a reflection back of yourself as they say. And why should you care about society in the first place, society itself is disgusting and laughable. The best action for a unique person to do is negate it, instead of conforming like you have suggested. Anyways a lot of girls do like long hair, why do you have many girls suggesting that a musician is hot.. guess what, that musician which a huge percentage of girls have the hots for.. have long hair!

 

Now lets take this person into example...

 

With long hair:

link removed

 

Without long hair:

link removed

 

Unless I am actually blind, it seems the guy there with long hair looks 10x better with it. He went from cool, to farmer joe.

[Caer]

And to all you tools who think, OMg hE ShoUld Cut HiS Hair Lolz, seriously just grow the hell up. Long hair looks a lot better than short hair..

You don't see the irony in this statement?

 

I can't speak for anyone else, but I suggested changing hairstyle as a symbolic way to turn over a new leaf. When we see the same person in the mirror day in day out, it can be constraining. Changing your hair or your clothes can be like giving yourself "permission" to explore some other aspect of your personality. It emphasises that we can change the way the world sees us and the way we see ourselves.

 

I'd never tell anyone how they should look. All I, and I suspect the others, can do is suggest possibilities.

[ScreenagerX]

Mate, look at the age the in a complimentary way perhaps.

 

I'm 30 & I still get ID'ed for cigarettes & alchol (here you only need to be l8. At first I was a bit cut up about it but then realised that if I look this young now then I'm looking petty sweet for when I hit 40

 

I used to also think I looked a bit feminine (I had long hair once upon a time aswell) but I cut it off, grew into my face a little bit over the years & then I generally have some sort of facial hair aswell. I'm not saying get a hair cut as sometimes I still wish I had mine but I no longer have the patience.

 

Look at it this way, I'm now dating a girl 10 years my junior so maybe there are some advantages

 

Oh & I'm only 5'7"

 

Good luck bro. Keep a smile on your face

[poloplayer]

Hi,

 

all the girls love that guy

 

Teenie boppers don't count. He looks 14, but that doesn't mean he wants to be with one.

 

When I see long hair, I think Metalhead, Punk, Lumberjack, Movie producer, Musician.. the list goes on and on.. so what, what you see is a reflection back of yourself as they say

 

Ok, that's fine. What's cool at 17 is not the same as what's cool when you're in the real-world.

 

And to all you tools who think, OMg hE ShoUld Cut HiS Hair Lolz, seriously just grow the hell up...And why should you care about society in the first place, society itself is disgusting and laughable.

 

This is the most ignorant part of your post. You should care because once you get out of high school and progress through college and/or go to work, then people do judge you on how you carry yourself. Try to get a real job at most places. It would never fly. Try to meet with a client who is paying you money for products/services. What would they think? Over 95% of the most successful people on this planet are clean-cut. There are very few exceptions were it could be pulled off. People don't look past a bad first impression to see a wonderful personality on the inside. I'm not trying to be mean about this, but that is the way the world works. If you are planning on having a career one day, any of the popular professions, then there is a game to play, and this is a small aspect about it.

 

In high school I rode a skateboard, went to punk shows, and dyed my hair many different colors. I even had a mohawk at one point. I didn't care about what anyone thought of me. I was a nihilist. After going through college and getting a "real job" (maybe growing up somewhere in there as well) there is no way any of that stuff would fly. Even if it did, nobody would praise me like, "wow, he has so much personality and is such an individual." Instead, I'd be the talk of the company.

 

First impressions count. The way you carry and present yourself matters. If you want to be taken seriously, then you have to look and act like it.

 

All we're doing is offering suggestions to the OP. The OP does not have to take any of these, but I think Caer said it best: turning over a new leaf. I've had plenty of image changes throughout school, but now that I'm "grown up" I go with society. Call it selling out, but I've learned that I am more successful when I look and act the part, instead of doing whatever I think would be cool (yes, I'd still dye my hair a different color every few months but there is no way it would fly with work).

[RIPDIME]

Alexi Laiho does not look 14, and the guy in the picture does not look 14, unless you have some major condition with your eyesight (may want to get that fixed).

 

So basically you are saying give up your whole integrity and individiuality to conform? Its called getting a hairband and tying your hair back. Theres a reason why god made people grow hair. Besides, im guessing that someone would look much more favorable with their hair tied back instead of a dyed mohawk, seriously?

 

This forum is for advice, so most obviously people are giving him advice. Its just the manner that they are giving it. All I hear when people complain that have long hair is that the person should "Oo cut his hair". This has nothing to do with anything, if your hair is too "Anarchist" for girls or whatever the hell than just tie it back, I know few girls that treat this much the same as having short hair. And you dont have to be old to be wise.. I obviously realize that I am not in a high paying job yet, but I understand that I wouldn't go into a job with a mohawk. You need courage to stand out and be yourself, and in the end it doesn't matter if people dont think that's right.

[musicguy]

all of the places I've worked at have accepted the fact that I have long hair.

[Northalius]

Keep your hair if you really want to; it's up to you, really.

 

I had long hair when I was younger (when I was around 15-22 years of age), but cut it all off to try a drastically different style. It's a big step I made to just see what's "on the other side" of things. And you know what? It turned out to be great for me. I love really short hair now; I didn't conform for anyone else! Not for someone in my family, girlfriend, my boss at work, nor for society in general; I just changed for myself.

 

So, do the same. If you want to change certain physical aspects of yourself, like your hair, muscles, facial hair, etc. then go through with it... for you! Not anyone else.

 

Right before I cut it though, I thought "Maybe I'll look like an idiot with short hair!" And it made me hesitate. It was the typical "fear of the unknown" that holds so many back today. I was so used to seeing myself with long hair, it was hard to imagine myself without it.

 

But, I gave in to my will to change, and found out differently. So, if you want to change, but your mind thinks you're gonna look worse, chances are, your mind is wrong. At least in my experience, that is.

 

Plus, I don't have to buy all these hair products like the poor girls out there stuck with having to do the rest of their lives.

 

I just shave it off with my own buzzer every 5-6 days (I like it extremely short now, almost skin short)!

 

And by the way, I know women that'd love guys with young-looking faces like yours; trust me, it's not a bad thing!

 

As much as you think it's your looks that're holding you back, it's not; it's really your own mind holding you back from being open, confident and social with others, because of your preconceived thoughts about what you assume others are thinking about you.

 

Open up, be social, and trust me, things will change in a heartbeat. Attitude is like 85-90% of being successful in this world!

[musicguy]

he should overcome his shyness first anyway, so what if he looks young, I look young too.

[charley]

I had the same underage look all through my 20s, minus the feminine part. I looked about 16 to 18 because of my baby face. However, I had some muscles and did at least look masculine in a gymnast build type way, even if my face made me look like jail bait.

 

If you grow a mustache, or beard, or both, you'll look at least 5 years older and no longer fem.

 

Luckily for you, facial hair for young guys is in fashion right now.

 

Also, take up weight training. There's nothing like some muscles to make you look like a guy.

 

Your problems are solveable with about 6 months of weight training. In a year, you'll be a stud.

 

The change in your appearance and the character building process that naturally occurs from changing your body through hard work (or any accomplishment from hard work) will increase your confidence, which will help the shyness somewhat right there. There are also shyness reduction techniques that I have successfully used that really do work. I posted about that a long time ago in a thread called, "Not so shy anymore".

[charley]

By the way, that looking young thing is going to become really cool in your 30s when you then look in your 20s. Trust me on that. I've been experiencing that for years now. Love it. It's payback for being a baby face in my 20s.

 

You guys in your 20s who look young are going to be well compensated in your 30s. Something to look forward to. In the meanwhile, grow some facial hair and lift weights.

[Allie.]

omggg! roseknight. hahaha. i got the same problem! I'm a sophomore at the College of Charleston and I look like i'm 8...not body-wise...but face-wise and it creeps me out! hahaha...but i guess its not so bad....when we're 80, we'll thank God. ahha.