ticcan Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Is giving a girl alot of attention, showing her you really care, a bad idea? this is before you date, when ur still in the attraction phase. I'm asking because there is I really like and I can't help but be nice to her, overly nice probably. I feel that I'd have better chance by acting indifferent because she's a pretty girl and is used to attention. what do you think? Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Ugh. Don't be nice to her. Don't be a creep, but don't pamper her and lavish attention, compliments and all that nonsense on her. You barely even know her, she's only a human - no better than you - and she should have to earn YOUR attention! Don't put her up on a pedastal, because one day she'll be old, saggy and decrepit. Just play it cool, relax, and get to know her slowly. Nothing wrong with flirting with someone you like, but coming on too strong will scare her off. I can 100% guarantee you that much. Best of luck. Link to comment
chai714 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Is giving a girl alot of attention, showing her you really care, a bad idea? this is before you date, when ur still in the attraction phase. I'm asking because there is I really like and I can't help but be nice to her, overly nice probably. I feel that I'd have better chance by acting indifferent because she's a pretty girl and is used to attention. what do you think? I think you do a mixture of giving her attention and being aloof at times. Give her some mixed signals. Being overly nice will make you her shopping partner, not her boyfriend. Treat her like you treat other women - have a conversation with her, learn about what she does outside of work/school and then get her number. Link to comment
ticcan Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 Alright say I've been showing her plenty of attention for weeks then suddenly stop. will she notice/miss what i used to do for her? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Yes, and she'll think you're a jerk who is not into her. If, as you say, she is a pretty girl who gets attention, not giving her any is not going to make her want you, it will make her go to the others who give her attention. I think you'll have a better chance of dating her, if you ask her out. Attraction is nothing, action is everything. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 You dont want to be the guy that gives her everything she wants but it is a mixture and there is a different balance with each girl. Show them that you care but do not be a doormat. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Is giving a girl alot of attention, showing her you really care, a bad idea? this is before you date, when ur still in the attraction phase. I'm asking because there is I really like and I can't help but be nice to her, overly nice probably. I feel that I'd have better chance by acting indifferent because she's a pretty girl and is used to attention. what do you think? Because I am 99.99% of the time attracted to shy introverted men, I tend to be more attracted to a guy who is less forward about giving me attention. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 You dont want to be the guy that gives her everything she wants but it is a mixture and there is a different balance with each girl. Show them that you care but do not be a doormat. Why do I get the feeling that you are quite the ladies man? Link to comment
run_little_rabbit Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I used to work with a guy that gave me a lot of attention. Then he started following me around work all the time. Then he came to my school looking for my car in the parking lot 3 days in a row. Don't be creepy!! Link to comment
kiwifly Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 When you're in the initial attraction phase the key is being mysterious and keeping the gal guessing. Don't be too upfront, or that will look desperate and creepy. Link to comment
BlueWolf Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Yes, and she'll think you're a jerk who is not into her. If, as you say, she is a pretty girl who gets attention, not giving her any is not going to make her want you, it will make her go to the others who give her attention. Hmm, it is true as they say. Some women give horrible advice. I won't mention any names. I beg to differ. I'll actually disagree 100%. People want what is just out of reach. I can guarantee that an attractive girl will almost never have a serious relationship with a guy who at the beginning gives her all the attention in the world. Now, if you wanted to lose the girl in two seconds, the advice above is gold. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 That's very true. Not only that, but if you want a woman to feel attraction for you (note, I said "feel") then acting like a wuss is NOT going to work. Link to comment
BlueWolf Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I've heard that attractive girls can go crazy if there's an outgoing guy/alpha male (aka NOT a wuss) in a group who acts totally indifferent to her. That's how attraction works, not the other way around. Link to comment
real2 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I've heard that attractive girls can go crazy if there's an outgoing guy/alpha male (aka NOT a wuss) in a group who acts totally indifferent to her. That's how attraction works, not the other way around. It's true. Girls subconsciously love the alpha male. Doesnt mean the alpha male loves them back though. Personal experience. Link to comment
GalaxyC Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Just out of curiosity, are you guys successful with women? I like the inbetweeners.....the alpha male is always a complete * * * *. I have never ever gone for the alpha male, full of himself type. The clingy guy is just creepy. Inbetween is the happy medium. I don't want to be ignored but nor do I want to be followed all over the place. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Alpha males, sure they're sexy, but really, not my cup of tea. Beta males however, now that's where it's at!!! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Why do I get the feeling that you are quite the ladies man? There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. Truth be told women seem to be much more fascinating in a theoretical context as opposed to real life, in my experience. Link to comment
BlueWolf Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Just out of curiosity, are you guys successful with women? I like the inbetweeners.....the alpha male is always a complete * * * *. I have never ever gone for the alpha male, full of himself type. The clingy guy is just creepy. Inbetween is the happy medium. I don't want to be ignored but nor do I want to be followed all over the place. Why would you care if you are being ignored if you have no feelings for the guy? (That of course, is at the beginning before you are attracted.) The "Alpha Male" is not defined as a jerk, as you have dubbed him. He has A LOT of confidence AND a lack of insecurities (this is the distinguishing factor between the Alpha Male and the Jerk). Jerks don't have a lack of insecurity. So you are confusing the both. Alpha males, sure they're sexy, but really, not my cup of tea. Beta males however, now that's where it's at!!! Ah, so you'd go for the guy who has no idea how to create attraction or build up the tension... hehe. I don't know. I think when people start talking about these things they trip over the very first obstacle because they've got their definitions of what they want and don't want all wrong. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Just out of curiosity, are you guys successful with women? he he Inbetween is the happy medium. I don't want to be ignored but nor do I want to be followed all over the place. Exactly. I love attention - when it comes in moderation. I also enjoy giving a guy attention when I'm into him - compliments, sexy e-mails, random gifts, and (best of all) those *looks* that say more than words could ever say. In my opinion, you guys are overanalyzing. Like most things in life, balance is key. Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well let's stop the debate. You need some action here ASK HER ON A DATE! DON'T BEG, ASK! (This is just a warning in case you're too nice kind of a guy) There is no difference if she's really attractive or not. What one finds beautifull, someone else can find avarage! Never get intimidated by a girls look. Link to comment
chantal Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I know this guy @ work who really likes my friend. We point out what he is doing wrong...... DO NOT TOUCH HER, he comes up and pokes her and scares her and nudgies her ] and it makes her uncomfortable. Just so he doesn't feel bad she laughts and chats wiht him. I dont care what a guy looks like or even if he is plan anoying , if @ anytime i look @ him and he makes full eye contact with me i LOVE it , it is flattering and it is also a way to show a girl attention!! trust me! and talk to her like a friend would , help her feel comfortable with you , then start flattering her with words!! I love seeing that a guy is looking @ me when i look @ him. it makes the girl feel noticed well good luck ttyl chantal Link to comment
BlueWolf Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I know this guy @ work who really likes my friend. We point out what he is doing wrong...... DO NOT TOUCH HER, he comes up and pokes her and scares her and nudgies her ] and it makes her uncomfortable. Just so he doesn't feel bad she laughts and chats wiht him. Tell him he's a creep. He's a guy - he can handle criticism. (I think girls should REALLY be honest when they don't like something in a guy. Don't play the "nice" game, girls.) I dont care what a guy looks like or even if he is plan anoying , if @ anytime i look @ him and he makes full eye contact with me i LOVE it , it is flattering and it is also a way to show a girl attention!! trust me! and talk to her like a friend would , help her feel comfortable with you , then start flattering her with words!! I love seeing that a guy is looking @ me when i look @ him. it makes the girl feel noticed well good luck ttyl chantal About the eye-contact, I agree. About flattering her with words, I strongly disagree. Talk is cheap. First of all, I almost never compliment girls with words. However, I do make them feel good about being around me. Second of all, when I do compliment a girl, it means a whole lot more because it is a rarity - and people appreciate what is rare. That said, the body-language/eye-contact is a huge part indeed. Link to comment
real2 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 That said, the body-language/eye-contact is a huge part indeed. It's super effective both ways. I personally became infatuated with a girl just the other day simply from an elongated eye-contact. Now Im inclined to pursue. Link to comment
Hangin10 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Exactly. I love attention - when it comes in moderation. I also enjoy giving a guy attention when I'm into him - compliments, sexy e-mails, random gifts, and (best of all) those *looks* that say more than words could ever say. In my opinion, you guys are overanalyzing. Like most things in life, balance is key. I hate those looks. Or at least I didn't until my last girlfriend. It's like "the TV is over there! I'm still gonna be here when the movie's over." Link to comment
rocio Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I hate those looks. Or at least I didn't until my last girlfriend. It's like "the TV is over there! I'm still gonna be here when the movie's over." I didn't say staring. I'm talking about the look that says "I want to rip your clothes off and have my way with your body". Or the glance that says, "I adore you". How can you hate those? Link to comment
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