maryale Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I know this guy like almost a year ago, and we became really close friends. Then, I dated him for like 3 months, in which we made out one month and now I've been going out with him for 2 weeks. We like each other a lot and we feel really comfortable with each other. Well, the only thing we've doing is make out and that's all. But suddenly yesturday, we were making out and things happened, one thing led to another and when I realize we were about to have sex. I stopped because I freaked out, not because I'm scared, I've done it before, but I was freaked out because I think we were going too fast and we haven't been together (going out) for a long time. Besides, he haven't fingered me and I haven't done anything to him. I mean, I really wanted to go on and have sex with him because it felt comfortable and right but in the other hand it didn't feel right because I felt we were going too fast in so little time. Besides, we never had the sex talk or anything-- I know that things just happened, and that's great, because it just happened without planning it but probably if I had have sex I would feel bad after it. Should I stop thinking this way and just go for it (I want to but I don't know) or should I wait because it's still too soon? Link to comment
gfein347 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I mean, I really wanted to go on and have sex with him because it felt comfortable and right but in the other hand it didn't feel right because I felt we were going too fast in so little time. There's your answer. Sex should only happen if both parties feel perfectly comfortable with it. Since you've admitted that you're not fully ready to have sex with him, then I believe the answer is that you should wait. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I think most posters would like to know your ages before giving advice. Regardless, you should have a talk with him - get this out in the open (don't have the talk when you are both horny either - clear head is better for this) Sex is for adults and adults discuss things. It's a pretty big step up in a relationship for most people Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I think that if you are unsure in any way, wait. Your own feelings on the subject are the only way to tell if it's too soon or not. And have the sex talk first. Link to comment
chai714 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 This should be (and will be) your decision and nobody elses. Don't have sex if you're not ready with him yet - there's no rush anyways, right? You could always have it later. Also, if you do plan on having sex make sure to get on birth control if you don't want children and use protection to avoid STD's. Take your time and wait until you feel 100% certain. Link to comment
jsx730 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I've known my girlfriend since 3 years before we started dating. Once we realized that we wanted to be together, we had sex two days later. We've now been together for 1.5 years and live together. It's all about being comfortable with your partner. If you are both comfortable with each other, who cares about society's view on how fast relationships should move. Link to comment
mike_chppr Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I'm of the perswaysion that oral sex comes before sex. I kind of agree with if there is a doubt then the answer is no. Also preparation, condoms, dental dams, the pill. And you need to be on the pill for at least a month I think before you are truly covered for pregnancy. I agree, we would like to know your ages. If you are like 12 then HELL NO!!! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you had sex with this guy and for whatever reason it doesnt work out, would you think it was too soon looking back in hindsight? That will tell you if it is too soon or not. Link to comment
Agathon Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Long story short, you made the right choice. Better to talk about it, and IMO definitely better to do 'foreplay' a few times before. That's how I see it anyways. Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 You are being smart here. It is good to wait for a little bit, to get comfortable and to have that sex/protection talk. Some guys at your age tend to have short attention span, so it is also better to let some time pass before having sex. But you need to tell him how you would feel comfortable having sex after some more time spent together. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you need to ask, then Yes its too soon. This should be a question you can answer your self in a heart beat. Its not something someone else can decide for you. Link to comment
mike_chppr Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Aside from fear I guess my view on life is that if you cannot currently live on your own indepentently separated from your parents, you are not ready. The next rule is if you have doubts then don't. The next rule is try and find at least three people who are going through or have been through your same situation and discuss what they did or are doing. Use those as a reference for what is healthy and what isn't. My first time was when I was 22yrs old. I'm glad that I waited that long. Because when the time came I knew I was ready and why I was ready and the risks that I was possibly taken on. just some thoughts, mike_chppr Link to comment
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