how do you forgive?

[willow2900]

Hi all;

 

For those who have gotten back together with their ex or at least had a pleasant relationship with the ex after some time how do you forgive what they have done in the meantime? How do you deal with the flings and the rebounds?

 

I am still very new in my breakup (at least I feel so: 6 weeks) but my ex has been "dating" (bedding) someone for 5 weeks. I do feel that with some time we could work this out. In the meantime I am trying to see how I can deal with him having his "single time" without freaking out completely.

 

I am still new with the NC (5 days as I had to see him the other day to grab my items out of his car - very little communication though. No big scenes/drama.) I am going to try and do NC as long as possible but we do work together and all our friends are the same friends. DIfficult.

 

Any stories or advice on how you dealt with the jealousy over the fling (or whatever you want to call it) is appreciated.

[robowarrior]

Well forgiveness is important because it enables us to put a point behind it , and move on with our own lives. Its basically where you say, ok he's going his way in life, and im going my way in life. The realisation begins when you understand that you two have come to a dead end in the relationship, you can yell,jump,cry any way you want, but the dead end remains a dead end, so the only thing you can do is to turn your car around and head back to the mainway of life, and find someone else who is suitable for you.

[mikeca]

I worked with a guy my ex had a rebound with, it was tough but my feelings of love outweighed that of jealous and anger.

 

honestly I wouldnt even think of this until you even get to that point. No reason to rack your brain over this when it may never happen. NC is all you can do and improve your life in anyway you see fit. Focus on you.

[LLammas]

Hi Willow,

 

I actually got back together with an ex a few times in the past. I think the biggest way to get around the negative feelings is to remember that a relationship with your ex is still a new relationship, and bringing hurt and jealousy into it from the beginning will only doom your relationship with the ex...and make it that much more difficult to be friends in the long run.

 

You have to make sure you are ready to forgive and forget before entering back into anything romantic with him. As Mike'ca said, your feelings of love have to outweigh your feelings of anger.