olena Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Day 5 Last nite I went out for drinks with people from work...I got back home late and did not feel well enough to post.... Day 6 It's friday...tomorrow the weekend starts and I am dreading it...already I feel worse that I have for days...He still hasn't contacted me...I wonder if he has noticed that I have stopped calling him and that I am no longer on MSN....Has he noticed?????? Link to comment
MsBear Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Day 24, Day 25 A frd came to my place and we hung out, had lot of fun ^^ Day 26 I left my flat for the summer, felt a bit moved bcos of memories Didnt miss him much He may look cool, may be loaded, got flash but he has no right to treat me like a doormat He should take responsibility for his own life rather than messing around at this age,24 isnt like a teenager anymore.. Day 27 Im writing at the moment, have a good sleep and then go shopping tomorrow woo hoo, summer starts Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Well Super Dave... I will admit it. You have thought of something, which helps people set goals, helps motivate them, helps put their life in perspective, and I commend and thank you for that. As for me... Day 2!! (if you dont count the week prior to this, but I swear I wont) Im doing good. I guess you can say. I had a dream last night. Of her.. From what I can remember in the dream, she wanted to get back together with me, and I wanted to sooooooooooooo bad, but I just couldn't do it....and the dream ended. I woke up shortly after... I felt alone....hopeless....totally isolated.... But as I came to realize, it was a dream which held a strong meaning. Although I wanted her back so badly, I just couldn't because subconsciously, I knew we CAN'T be together. You can't force something if it isn't right. and OUR relationship WASN'T meant to be......at this point in our lives... FYI for anyone that doesn't know. We broke up almost a year and a bit ago. She broke up with me, because she needed to see what she was missing, etc (something I didn't want). Completely understandable, considering her age and such. But about 8 months later we got back together (I didnt follow NC AT ALL!!!!! stupid move) Even though I didnt follow NC, we still got back together, but don't do as I say...please... I went through extreme heartache wondering what she was doing every night, wondering who she was with, etc, and it just wasn't worth it. After we got back together, we had a short honeymoon period, where things were great, it last a couple months, then the arguing and such came back. So we got back together around august of last year, and broke up in may of this year. She brought up the idea of splitting up to me, and I was shocked at first , crying and such. But the more I thought about it as days pass, the more I realized it had to happen. She said everything that I had been thinking in the past, but I was never man enough to own up to my feelings, I was just too scared of being left alone. Since the break up I have my moments, my ups and downs (that was almost 2 weeks ago) The last couple of days, Ive been a little more down then anything, but as soon as I focus on something else, I forget all about her and begin to feel just a little bit better. Sorry if I spilled out the length of the Lord of Rings on here, I cant help it when I get going on this keyboard. This website does help....alot...and I hope everyone the best in their healing process. Ive been there before people, and I know how much it hurts, but it does get better, and Im having to do it all over again, which isnt the most pleasant, but I know NOT to make the same mistakes as before. NC is key. If you keep contact with them, you will not heal like you should, I cannot stress this enough. Good luck Everyone, I wish you all the best. I will keep everyone posted!!! Thanks again SD. Link to comment
Dev007 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 OK I am starting NC. I told her I would call her after 2 weeks but I won't do that. Wish I had seen this post a week ago before I messed things up big time. Good luck everyone Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 OK I am starting NC. I told her I would call her after 2 weeks but I won't do that. Wish I had seen this post a week ago before I messed things up big time. Good luck everyone I agree. I wish I had found this site sooner. But you have now found it so stick to it!!!! Good Luck!!! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Day 18 Well went out with a mate for a few beers last night and it was a good night out.. Still think about her, would be lying if I said I didnt but just fleeting thoughts here and there.. Not contacting her on her birthday did make me feel good in a moving on and empowered again kinda way.. Feel okish today.. Out to the cinema later... Hope everyone is well and doing ok.. Andy Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 yeah good for you andy...so many ppl use a birthday to 'contact' and it solves nothing if youre trying to heal well day 4 an i deleted my faceparty profile - and its opened a can of worms regarding the ex...he visited mine, seen it all gone at 1.20am and 3.50am so now hes playing games with his new female friend by deleting his & hers and opening a new one and im not playing into it because im not going to even look at faceparty again!. i found all this out just by cool tools which showed me his visiting, but deleted profile...then i seen a new profile visiting mine so checked it out and it was HIS new one ...jeeeez abusers just cant stop can they!! he got rid of me...shouldnt he be happy and just let me get on with being pregnant in peace!! hows everyone elses day?? Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 After 35 days or so of NC, I fell off of the wagon and made contact three times in the past week. She was responsive but I think another 30 days will do me good. Just like Whitesnake, "Here I go Again". Link to comment
olena Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Hi all, Day 7... It's a saturday and I ended up crying all night...I HATE WEEKENDS...I just can;t believe I now have a sunday to face... He still hasn't called or tried to contact me...I wonder if he will...and when... I feel very down today...In the morning I was okayish...I went shopping, then gym and then back home...spent the afternoon / evening on my PC... thinking and crying... It's been a whole week and nothing....Is this normal? Olena Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Was kind of down today for some reason. Ah, well, forging ahead. Link to comment
Dev007 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Day 1 I thought about her all day long. It saddens me to be going to bed early on a saturday I can't help but thinking that she is probably going to be out late with her damned new BF. I need to get me a girl. Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Day 1 I thought about her all day long. It saddens me to be going to bed early on a saturday I can't help but thinking that she is probably going to be out late with her damned new BF. I need to get me a girl. thats very strange that you must mention that... I find myself going to bed early on a friday or saturday, knowing that my ex will be out later than I will, and I will look for excuses to go to a bar or stay out late with my friends and drink until Im ready to go to sleep. I find it numbs myself and puts me on the same level as her (at least I believe so). So as today is Saturday, and it being DAY 3, I must confess... I figured today, she would be out late, as usual, and I planned on staying out as late as possible to try and compensate. I stayed with my close friends all night, drinking, and just taking it easy. Im at home now, drunk, and I dont find it easier. I feel more emotionally numb than anything. I know the pain of missing her is there, and I WANT to feel it, yet Im numb to my emotions and I dont like it. I sit here, listening to the same song over, n OVER n over n OVER again, just wondering what she is doing. Wondering what she is thinking. Wondering if she misses me. Wondering if she still thinks about me. My friends think everything is ok, and think that Ive moved on, but this is so hard. I dont care how mutual this breakup was; I still find it way too hard to occupy all my free time without her.... without my baby...my love...my life... I love her...but Im not in love with her, and it hurts so much sometimes... I wish I could go back in time... Ahhhhh sometimes I hate this * * * *.. Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 BTW this is the lyrics to the song I keep listening too OVER n OVER n OVER again.... sad...I know.. Damn I Just keep thinking about you (oh Baby) I mean I wanna move on but I can't move on (ohhhh) It's like you have some kind of hold on me and I don't Know (oh ohh oh ohh) But Imma go ahead and talk about it Listen [Verse 1] I'm sitting looking out the window like damn Tryna fix this situation that's at hand You still running through my mind when I'm knowing that you shouldn't be, Me all on yo mind and I'm knowing that it couldn't be Cause you ain't call and I ain't even appalled I still got allot of pain I ain't dealt wit it all I been running round with other chicks, I'm single and they loving it, I'm liking it but I just want the one that I was in love with. That's not the end of it, I'm tryna let you know I can't, Get a grip of it is what I'm tryna let you know. You got a hold or some kind of control of me I don't know what it is, but I gotta get you gone from me I'm working at it and it ain't getting no better just tryna be like, yeah, forget it, whatever Instead of staring out this glass looking at this bad weather, damn I gotta pull myself together Cause... [Chorus - T-Pain] When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick, Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard to get you outta my system. You know what you do to me (do to me) You don't even understand (damn) You know what you do to me (do to me) It's so hard to get you outta my system. [Verse 2] I'm too attached, my heart won't let me fall back I got it bad, that's what you can call that (ah) When I see you in the streets, that's the worse for me Used to love the little things you did, that's what works for me It's too major, don't see you on my pager, Know what you doing, where you at, or can I see you later? (Can I see you later?) The fellas telling me 'just let her go Bow', believe me, I'm trying man, I just don't know how (Just don't know how) I be in all the top spots, leaving with the hot shots, knowing they just want me cause I'm in the top spot That's not poppin and my brain aint stopping, thinking Who she with, or where she going, is she club hoppin? I never had this kind of problem in my life, this is my first time dealing with this kind of fight It's every night and every flight and every time you in my sight, Damn this aint even right, cause... [Chorus - T-Pain] When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you (yeaa) When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do (yeaaaa) I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick, Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard to get you outta my system. (ohhh) You know what you do to me (do to me) You don't even understand (damn) You know what you do to me (do to me) It's so hard to get you outta my system. [Hook] Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day Can you feel me? I been tryna get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time That's what kills me Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day Can you feel me? I been tryna get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time And it kills me [Chorus - T-Pain] When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick, Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard to get you outta my system. (Hard to get you outtt) You know what you do to me (do to me) You don't even understand (damn) You know what you do to me (do to me) So hard to get you outta my system [speaking] I remember everything that me and you talked about Me and you had our whole lives planned out together (oh ohh oh ohh) And if I could, I would, turn back the hands of time and correct all my mistakes that I ever did But now I guess I gotta move on, right? It's still hard and I still love you till this day Peace. Link to comment
Massari Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 BTW this is the lyrics to the song I keep listening too OVER n OVER n OVER again.... sad...I know.. . 7 days I listen to that song too.. it has been 3 weeks since we broke up. and a successfull week of NC for me. I still don't understand why I replied to her when she asked me how I was on yahoo messanger.. ( I was hospitalized for a day 2 weeks after we broke up cause some anxiety attack I got) I shouldn't have even responded because for a few days after I analysing the crap out of "why she asked me out of the blue how I was" btw I answered very cold. Interestingly her friend who is a mutual friend of us also called me the day after asking me how i am and we haven't hang out in a while, I answered him and all but didn't ask anything about my ex like I always used to, maybe its better like that. I feel a little better these days. trying to go out and hang out as much as I can with my friend. deleted her from my facebook and all so I can't check what is going on with her and its all good. However her sister who is also a good friend of mine.. messaged me how I am on facebook afew days ago...we talked abit about jobs and all ... and then I said "listen if you sister mentioned anything about me deleting her, tell her its nothing personal it was just hard for me to move on while seeing her online and all and I still care about her so much if she does decide to come back to me. " now I am not sure if that counts as NC or not but I didn't talk to her or messaged her. I dun even know what I want to tell her anymore and I am deciding on ignoring her IF she messages me. BUT when I was out today with my friends I found myself starring at my cell hoping to see a missed call from her.. ? why? is this normal? Link to comment
Pending Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Not even sure if I can ever get through 30 days. I keep screwing up, even though my ex seems to not have a second thought about me. Found out by accident that she removed from her msn, facebook(I added her agian.. ), and that just caused me to be back at square one. Fighting the urge to contact her, I have myself half thinking that this is her way of stopping herslf from being the one to buckle and contact me. I realize its more then likely her just moving on, but I just can't really convince myself. Link to comment
Massari Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Not even sure if I can ever get through 30 days. I keep screwing up, even though my ex seems to not have a second thought about me. Found out by accident that she removed from her msn, facebook(I added her agian.. ), and that just caused me to be back at square one. Fighting the urge to contact her, I have myself half thinking that this is her way of stopping herslf from being the one to buckle and contact me. I realize its more then likely her just moving on, but I just can't really convince myself. I know what you mean man.. MSN checks.. I did all that too.. nothing good comes out of it except that you are back at square one as you said yourself. I know man its hard.. but think about the breakup with you previous GF. I look back and wish I didn't care that much and wasted that much time grieving, because look I had another gf 4 months after her, prettier and sexier.. I don’t think this is the end of it for me either.. just a little bit more time will help me and u move on and find the next one and hopefully don’t make the mistakes we made with the previous one and do better in this relationship. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Day 19 Hi All Hope everyone is doing well... Hi 1guygirl, it sounds like you are better off without this guy hun. Hope your ok and you have had a good weekend... Well feel alright today, just got back from a female friends boys birthday party and it was good, had a few goes on the new trampoline.. you got to havent you!! LOL Not a big fan of Sunday evenings as they are usually the time for sitting around with your thoughts so nice to pop on here usually! Also the thought of going back to work again the next day..Argh... Keep up the good work with the NC folks.. Andy Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Day 19 Hi All Hope everyone is doing well... Hi 1guygirl, it sounds like you are better off without this guy hun. Hope your ok and you have had a good weekend... Well feel alright today, just got back from a female friends boys birthday party and it was good, had a few goes on the new trampoline.. you got to havent you!! LOL Not a big fan of Sunday evenings as they are usually the time for sitting around with your thoughts so nice to pop on here usually! Also the thought of going back to work again the next day..Argh... Keep up the good work with the NC folks.. Andy Hi there Andy, I'm Sandy, and I'm back on the wagon yet again.... stupid ex has left his mark on me... but he won't get the opportunity to do it again.....:sad: Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Hi Sandy Good for you for jumping back on the wagon, a big wagon this eh!! Hope your doing ok and as time goes by it should start to get a bit easier for you well I hope so.. Good for you thought that you won't let him have another opportunity.. Take Care Hun.. Andy Link to comment
S.Ken Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 I've lost count on how many days of NC I've done, since sending her that faithful email. I suppose that's a good sign if you don't count each and every day, but I think it's going on week 3 or 4... I dunno. ANYway, had a great time hanging out with a friend of mine last weekend: Went to a swanky loft party with all you can eat sushi on Friday. On saturday we went to the adventurecon and met up with a really cool comic artist and ended up hanging out and having dinner with him. Later on we looked at movies at my place and talked about life and such. The ex never came up once. Today is a little different. I woke up realizing that the ex's birthday is coming up soon and I've been contemplating sending her a happy bday email, even going as far as trying to figure out exactly how and what I'm going to say to her. I've been thinking about this most of the day and I can't seem to stop despite cleaning the apartment and various other chores to occupy me. I suppose this is the final hurtle for my NC challenge and I know if I don't contact her then it is supposed to empower me personally, but at the same time I'm afraid that she will think that I have no interest in her whatsoever and cancel her own possible plans to contact me. Bluh... so annoying. Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Hi Sandy Good for you for jumping back on the wagon, a big wagon this eh!! Hope your doing ok and as time goes by it should start to get a bit easier for you well I hope so.. Good for you thought that you won't let him have another opportunity.. Take Care Hun.. Andy Thanks Andy, feeling like I'm dying pretty much emotionally right now, but I know that will pass, no more games for me, I've had it with this stupid jerk. Thing is, I NEVER bothered him, he came back after 7 months.... and messed me over YET AGAIN, I'm feeling angry, guess thats a good beginning.... :sad: Link to comment
andyraz Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 can you tell me how to go about this chalange as i have just split up with my other half but it is a bit tricky but i do need to give her space to think and this sound like the place to start , but as im a newby to all this i dont really know what to do can you help...andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Hi S.Ken Dont do the birthday contact thing especially as you are in NC. It wont prove anything really. I am sure she knows how you feel and is a "Happy Birthday" message going to make a big difference probably not.. Check out my thread the important occasion contact for plenty of views on this. It helped me not do the contact on my ex's birthday only last week. If I had made contact I am sure I would of got a "Thanks, Andy. Take Care" kinda reply woohoo! Would of set my mind going again and I didnt want to do that as I have been doing quite well. So IMO I would leave it mate but it's your call.. Andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Hi Sandy Anger is a great emotion, use it to help you move forward. I went through a brief annoyed with her for ending it phase and it did help get my emotions in check.. Andy Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 youre so right sandy....sometimes it all boils down to being tired of the same old crap...and enoughs enough and no contact is the way to go... i tell ya - it was easier quitting the cigarettes!!...but we're all here for ya x x x your back on the wagon and thats all that matters! but today i went to me ma's so i wasnt just sat in with nowt to do, and being tempted to check out ex's new profile and new pics (its like self harm isnt it!)....then had lovely drive back with the roof down on a summer evening and there was some tunes on the radio that took me back to being 15....i just felt GOOD and felt all the more so cos i havent been on faceparty and hes no doubt hoping, itching, praying i go on just to see his latest knife attack at me....AND ITS NOT GUNNA HAPPEN HEHE!! oh they'll be tears and tantrums! Link to comment
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