Insidious1 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 LOL! The "last one you dealt with"? Meaning your EX...? Or some girl you met? LOL... there are definitely some "crazies" out there! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Good luck with the date Ryan, hope it goes well mate and have fun. Aldo, I agree with Ryan get yourself to the gym or get yourself some kinda hobby to get out there and meet new people and have fun you will be surprised how good it makes you feel and if it is something you enjoy doing its a win win situation. I go to the gym 4 nights a week now and well start my climbing and stuff aswell soon. Kinda hard to find time for women!! Well maybe not but you know what I mean. All is well in Andyland and Aldoland will improve I'm sure mate so get out there and do something you enjoy mate. Andy Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 LOL! The "last one you dealt with"? Meaning your EX...? Or some girl you met? LOL... there are definitely some "crazies" out there! She was a woman scorned from past relationships and it poured onto me...had to leave her alone so she can find herself and clear her mind...I could not deal with the the bull$*$@. She was not my ex...we where friends that acted like a couple but we never took the title cause she was going through a divorce. I think she falls into the "crazies"...as much as I care for her. Link to comment
annonannon Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Day 3 She contacted me again... my brother had a job interview she knew about so she asked if i knew how it went. She also said she hoped i was ok and had a good day. I left it 5 hours or something and then replied... just answered her question about my bro and nothing else. I still have the urge to be a 'nice guy' and reply instead of ignoring her... not sure if that's my best plan although i'm not sure about a lot of things these days. Do I go back to day 1 for replying? not sure of the rules on that Link to comment
MissIndigo Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Day 59 (I actually had to check a calendar for this...) The world works in odd ways. I may have to apply for a position that would take me into visiting his country for work purposes at least once, maybe twice per year. And I would have contact with people he knows. Urrrgh. Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Day 17 which was yesterday, went to the counseling services, didnt get much advice but at least I had someone to talk to and I realised that I was the victim of reverse psychology, he turned the situation around to save face and made me into a fool, felt shocked that I didnt realise back then Day 18 Still in progress Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 P.S. Aldo.... you work out? I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest working out! I sorta live for the gym right now! I am seein INCREDIBLE results (17 lbs in 8 weeks...). Give it a thought... it might help! I know definitely relieved some stress That's not a bad idea. I do have a set work schedule at the moment; I have the same days off each week. Not to hard to set aside a few hours a day to work out. Link to comment
cry_baby Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I am accepting, called her one last time and text her one last time 2 night. When we broke up she was the one doing all the contact, and sometimes I replied back, sometimes I didnt. She gave me false hope.... I WILL NOT contact her or answer or reply back!! I DO NOT WANT HER BACK!! Please give me the strength to flush myself of such an evil person. Link to comment
Kathinoz Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I miss my ex. I know I'm better off without him. It's been three weeks since we split and I have seen him twice. Weeks are so long and nights so boring without him. I can't help missing him for other reasons as we did so much together. We were really part of each others lives. He could be the nicest guy and also the nastiest. Decided to try this after my ex went overseas and bumped into a friend of mine! I didn't know my friend was going away but I knew my ex was, and yeah, it is totally weird that the two of them were in the same place at the same time! Anyway, my friend (who I hadn't spoken to for a few months) asked my ex how I was etc, as I'm the only thing they have in common, they met through me. My ex totally ignored my friends question. My friend emailed me straight away and said how he thought it was really weird, he said my ex's whole body language changed, my ex stepped back away from my friend (my friend said it was like having a conversation accross a two metre ditch!) But my ex didn't tell my friend anything about me at all. Weird huh? My friend said he acted like I never existed. So.. Day 1 or maybe this can be day 2 as I haven't contacted him since Tuesday. I only contacted him to let him know my friend emailed and told me about their meeting etc. He didn't respond anyway. Link to comment
smickey Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Day 3 I was going through some boxes last night looking for something and came accross a photo of him and I that used to sit on our mantlepiece in our old home. That bought it all back to me and for the first time since we split 7 1/2 weeks ago I really, really, really wanted him back and wanted us to be smiling together like we are in the photo. I guess I'd been forcing myself to focus on how things turned bad in recent times, and that photo was a reminder of how good they had been once. I realised that I miss a lot of things about him and still have a long way to go. Anyway, I looked at the photo for a few minutes then put it back in the box. This is so tough sometimes! You have to be really disciplined to push the negative thoughts out of your head. But I'm feeling ok today, just tired really, and impatient for things to be better. Does anyone else find that having to write about this every day for the challenge is actually keeping it to the front of their mind? In some ways it's good as I'm being forced to confront things and deal with them, but in other ways you just want to try and forget about it for as long as possible. The day we broke up he told me that it was possible we could get back together - this just wasn't what he wanted 'at the moment'. My gut tells me that he didn't mean it - surely if you wanted to be with someone in the future you'd want to be with them now too? Nothing he has done since has suggested that he wanted this. I just wish he hadn't of said that - it means that a small part of me is holding on to the hope which is probably not even there. So I'm currently trying to convince myself to listen to my head rather than my heart on that one. I want my NC experience to shift its focus back to me rather than to him - I seem to have been dwelling on things a bit too much lately. Something to think about for day 4 perhaps... Link to comment
dtman85 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Since I found this site..it has help me out in a lot of way and i would like to shout out a special thanks to superdave with his article, it really inspire me to do this no contact. Offically gf and i been broken up for 2 month now and i went into no contact april 13, she had contact me twice since then. she has a new man but this no contact experience had made me realize things out... I am glad that i found this site without it i would have been still trying to chase something that's not there no more. I have completely move on and gettin over her probably 90% there. Only think about her still probably 5 min a day now not every hour. For everyone else out there trying to get through this... I Say hang in there, it tough at first but all of you could pull it off. Take it one day at the time and LOVE YOUR SELF, Cause you cant make the other person love you.>>> Link to comment
bear12 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 oh boy, i'm back.. like a month later.. here we go again! DAY ONE (well in 18 min it will be... ) i did this for two months before and it didn't heal me one bit. i'm hoping this time will be more sucessful. it has to be!!! Link to comment
spunkmaster Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 DAY 2 I made it through an entire day, and only had to fight the urge to be nosy once. His mom stopped by so she could get something of his that needed to be mailed. Funny, he's nearly 28 and still has to get his mom to do his dirty work. Oh well, fuel for the fire. I feel oddly content so far. Guess the 2 week gap gave me some time to get a jump start on getting over things. Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Right, start of day 1. Longest I went was 21 days until old bills etc had to be sorted. Doing ok until I saw her saturday night and my old wound completely came open once again. right, hopefully no emails today, nothing to set my mind whizzing once more. Wish me luck, and all the best for everyone here Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Good luck Knight! hang in there my friend. if you don't want to risk bumping into her in York, why not try Leeds for a night out?? those trains run pretty late you know! Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Good luck Knight! hang in there my friend. if you don't want to risk bumping into her in York, why not try Leeds for a night out?? those trains run pretty late you know! Hey, Yeah, was thinking about getting away for a night. Been invited to 'Cabbage' or something like that in Leeds on Sat night. Will see how I go. I just feel I need to face it rather than run away. Longer I leave it the harder it will be. I will be ok with it. I am fine in front of her and thats what I am proud of. Link to comment
Pending Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Day 13(5 weeks since she attempted contact..) Kinda depressed. Th weeks keep going by, and with zero attempts at contact(who knows, maybe my facebook page is a daily visit for her), the fact that she really isit going call, that we really don't have a chance of getting back togather is sinking in...and it bites. Only thing left to do is fake it till I make it. Speaking of which-SD/anyone, do you recommend blocking them to the limited profle(can only see name & a small version of profile pic) on facebook, or just leave it be as regular friends?( don't check her page) Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Day 13(5 weeks since she attempted contact..) Kinda depressed. Th weeks keep going by, and with zero attempts at contact(who knows, maybe my facebook page is a daily visit for her), the fact that she really isit going call, that we really don't have a chance of getting back togather is sinking in...and it bites. Only thing left to do is fake it till I make it. Speaking of which-SD/anyone, do you recommend blocking them to the limited profle(can only see name & a small version of profile pic) on facebook, or just leave it be as regular friends?( don't check her page) I would not even check her page or make any changes to your page(although I have been checking my "friends" page)...you have to look strong... The woman I let go yesterday changed her yahoo status to "one day I will find my true soulmate" a few moments after I signed in. I ignored it and she later changed it after she heard no peep from me. I refuse to show her that she is affecting me (although she is). She also deleted me from her friends list on myspace on Monday...I did not do any changes at all to my profile...she still holds the top spot on my page. All of sudden I am back on her friends list. Show no weakness...at least that is my advice. Link to comment
Pending Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I would not even check her page or make any changes to your page(although I have been checking my "friends" page)...you have to look strong.... Oh I make changes all the time to my own facebook page. I had it going months before the breakup, and she only started it a week after we broke up(had "in relationship" in her status...later updated with the guysname attached) I have only checked her page a few times(its breaking NC so...14 days), if your not willing to count that i've already passed the 30 day challenge.(where your ex isit attempting contact..sadly its pretty easy..) Link to comment
vesper Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 SUper Dave, does the no contact challenge really work and when is it time to start contact once you feel more in control. AND how are you ever supposed to get back together with friends, co-workers, lovers, etc. if you keep going on with this no contact challenge forever??!??? you'll end up really alone/ Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Well, here we are, one week. Of course it would have been 3 weeks and some change if I hadnt caved in last Thursday and text her, which didnt help me at all, I was full of anxiety the whole day, wondering if we'd ever get back together. As the days go on, it gets harder and harder to not contact her, I really want to check in with her and see what's up, but I know I shouldnt, god why does this have to be so hard? Link to comment
The Wheel Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 As the days go on, it gets harder and harder to not contact her, I really want to check in with her and see what's up, but I know I shouldnt, god why does this have to be so hard? Because it provides meaning to the inverse of this situation. The low notes in life make the high notes stand out that much more. It sucks, of course, but feeling these different emotions is all part of the human experience. My advice would be to take up a new hobby or revisit one you haven't touched in a while. I haven't kayaked in a couple years and I've recently started hitting the water again. Do I think about my situation while I'm out there? Sure, but I also get fresh air and exercise. I always feel better about life after paddling six or seven miles. Find something you enjoy and pursue it. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 DAY 10... Ok today really, just the occasional thoughts of her today but nothing major. A better day at work, kinda enjoyed work today as lately its been like groundhog day at work so must be feeling better. A few things planned for the weekend which is good... Take Care All Andy Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 DAY 4... I am going to the gym with my friend. I am back at it after a 3 month break. Link to comment
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