andy5128 Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Day 2 Still in kinda limbo as phone thing STILL outstanding.. I know, I know I keep going on about it but it's still not finalised.. Feel okish today, I am not normally a fan of Sundays they are the worst day in terms of sitting around and your thoughts go haywire! Well off out bowling with a female friend later which will be fun. Then later this evening will try and keep myself busy or may pop on here again as thats the time I find the hardest the Sunday evening syndrome... Keep it up folks, stay strong it gets easier as the days go by.. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Yes, Rosie007, you are the gold medalist in the NC Olympics! You are a rock and you rock. Congratulations on getting to 90 days! Link to comment
marooon11 Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Day 9 NC, Day 11 since I've heard from him. things are always worse for me in the night-time. i am back on university campus, where i have heightened sensitivity as i may hear about his life/ or run into him. i've been trying to keep busy, but i cant help but wonder why he wont contact me - self-defeating huh? but given all that i am surprisingly in a better mood - the weather is beautiful outside, and i can hear the birds chirping Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 LonelyDoll, Krisnakay, ChocolateCake: I was delighted to find your sweet messages. Thank you You keep up the great work, too! All best, -Rosie Link to comment
heynowwww Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Day 5 Hey All, Happy Mother's Day to any mothers out there. Well the ex has been on the mind a lot today, I find Sundays are always the worst. I cant wait to start this week thought just so I can begin to get my head back in order. I have been thinking a lot and am happy to be able to improve myself and find a better suited woman, but I still miss her.... or maybe what we had. Anyone that has been thru this how long did it take you to finally put everything behind you? I cant wait until that day haha. Well have a great night. Chris Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Day 12 I thought things was gonna get easier as the days went by. Things has been alright for a while I think. But the last two days I feel like I have relapsed... I don't know what happened, just find myself thinking so much about how good it felt when we were together and all felt right... nite Link to comment
The Wheel Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Day 12 I thought things was gonna get easier as the days went by. Things has been alright for a while I think. But the last two days I feel like I have relapsed... I don't know what happened, just find myself thinking so much about how good it felt when we were together and all felt right... They do get easier, but the healing process isn't a smooth upward curve. There are dips along the way. There's good news though: the troughs you slide into aren't as deep as when you first started and it'll be a shorter amount of time before you're feeling better again. Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Day 8 I nearly checked his Facebook, luckily I could control myself I dont know how is it going to be now... I dont want to get back with him, I know he just wants to run away from me as far as possible and I dont want to keep him Just hate the fact that he dumped me via a text and when I look back now I have no idea what kind of relationship that was I regret that my first relationship was like a crap, I was like a toy sad but true I for the rest of my life dont want to hear anything about him, see him , that doesnt mean I resent , its just I dont want to How a person on earth begged, told u the love of his life and dumped u via a text ? such a joke ! Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Rosie, Well done girl!!! I'm glad you resisted the temptation to get in contact with him! how do you feel now?? shoes Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Hi Shoes, Hmm ... how do I feel? It's good to know that I can count on myself to take care of me. It's good to know that I was able to stick to a vow that I made to myself when I started with Rex: that I wouldn't continue seeing him if he was about to / started to sleep with another woman. That single fact is going to allow me to try to get close to someone again. Do I still want him? Yes. Do I still love him? Yes. Do I still hope there's a future for us? Yes. Am I going to do everything in my power to stay away from him if he isn't in love with me? Yes. Do I hate it? Yes. But I don't see any other choice. How you hanging in there, Shoes? -Rosie Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 They do get easier, but the healing process isn't a smooth upward curve. There are dips along the way. There's good news though: the troughs you slide into aren't as deep as when you first started and it'll be a shorter amount of time before you're feeling better again. Thanks Wheel Thats good to hear. I hope to get busy with work and whatnot this week, so I won't have too much time to think about it. I want to get up this hill. It's the first dip in the "curve" so far, guess I'm not ready for it, but I'll ride it out. Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I'm hanging in there just fine Rosie. I feel pretty much the same as you do, though she occupies my thoughts less and less by the day. I too made a promise that i would leave her if she ever cheated on me. When it all came down to it, i didn't have the strength to do that and let her finish with me. She never actually slept with anyone else while we were together (or so she tells me) but in my mind, emotional cheating is every bit as bad as the physical act. I'm not even sure if i believe her when she told me that she never slept with anyone else! I was trying to explain to my therapist how i perceived that our roles in the relationship had changed over time. The best i could do was to compare it to the film Thelma and Louise. One a carefree, strong willed, independent woman, the other a downtrodden woman that settles for what life gave to her and the way those characters basically changed roles over the course of events. Looking back on it now, she wouldn't listen to me when i would try to express my thoughts and feelings about things. If she couldn't compromise with me over the toppings on a pizza, how the hell did i expect her to see my point of view about her flirting, constant need for attention and approval and her emotional affairs. I have no hope of ever getting back together with her, mostly because i don't think i could ever trust her again. She did this to me six times that i know of! One day someone will do to her what she has done to me. Probably the woman she is holding out for now (while she leads on another two at the same time). She has had two relationships with this woman in the past, and both times this woman refused to leave her wife for her. But it's not my problem anymore. Above all else, i'm glad i've given myslef this time to heal. I was only a few months from leaving everything behind and moving accross the globe to with her. I've chosen to stay where i am for now. I may still move, but it will be in my own time, for my own reasons. This time has allowed me to see that i am worth more than she would ever give to me. I don't think i did anything wrong in expressing my concerns about her relentless flirting and emotional affairs. Would any normal person not have done the same? She conditioned me into being jealous and insecure in order to boost her own self esteem. I never needed to hear from anyone but my girlfriend (her) how wonderful i was. She needed to hear it form everyone she met, and even those she never met (she is a chatroom * * * *!) Anyhoo. Everyday i fell stronger and better about myself. It's going to take my some time to trust on that level again, but i am sure that day will come! shoes Link to comment
Karhu Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 This is my first post in this thread. Hmm, I’m not actively counting days, I guess I’d better check the calendar…. Ok, day 15. I was active in the attraction and flirting forum, then the dating forum, then the relationship forum, then the love forum, then the breaking up forum. So I guess it’s about time to shift into the getting back together forum. I wonder if then the cycle will repeat and I’ll have to move into discussing dating again soon. Such as life, it sometimes moves in circles. Well i didn’t expect I’d ever be joining the NC challenge, but why not, everyone is doing it, it could be fun. I had a great relationship, which ended about a month ago. Quite a story behind it this is my first post here, I don’t know if it’s cheating the challenge, but I’m already half way through it, being the 29th of April the last time of contact, That being the 2 days before we were going to go on a holiday together when she rang me up and said that she was changing the name on my ticket so she could go with a friend instead (we had booked the holidays before the breakup which had happened 2 weeks earlier). So anyway, now I’m 2 weeks into no contact. At first I was eager to try to get her back. Now I’m realizing that she is a bit narrow minded not accepting me and my beliefs (as in the linked thread) so I have decided that I am not interested in having her back unless she respects me and my beliefs. During the time I was seeing her I was thinking about her 24-7, during the breakup period I was also thinking about it a lot, analyzing everything. Now there are days that I don’t even think of her. I’ve been fairly busy with all sorts of things in life, working, doing 8hrs/week dance class, rollerblading, hiking in the woods, BBQ with friends, movie nights with friends etc. my busy lifestyle is more conducive to moving on then to clinging on to the past. And I went on a date last Friday, I’m not interested in perusing this one further, but it’s good to start getting back into dating. I am not going to count days thinking about her and writing all my thoughts about her in the no contact thread. I’m just going to move on with my life, see the truth that I deserve someone that respects me, and she’ll inevitable drift out of my mind over time. I will not occupy my thoughts with someone that is narrow minded. If she changes in the future, becomes less narrow minded and comes back to me then I might possibly consider IF i'm still single. But there is no point in waiting for it. Life moves on. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I am not going to count days thinking about her and writing all my thoughts about her in the no contact thread. I’m just going to move on with my life, see the truth that I deserve someone that respects me, and she’ll inevitable drift out of my mind over time. I will not occupy my thoughts with someone that is narrow minded. If she changes in the future, becomes less narrow minded and comes back to me then I might possibly consider IF i'm still single. But there is no point in waiting for it. Life moves on. Wow - this is fantastic - I'm excited to see you reach day 30!!!! Link to comment
Karhu Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Wow - this is fantastic - I'm excited to see you reach day 30!!!! I don't know if 30 is a super special magic number. hmm, maybe 365 would be good. She was a nice person, you never know, she could potentially be a good plutonic friend later in life, only after life has totally moved on. But it's best to look forward and not back. What new opportunities are waiting around the corner? Time will tell.... Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 i dont need a no contact challenge....i'll use her memories as extra tolit paper when i need some...... but i honestly dont see why people do this no contact challenge thingy too me if u dont want to speak to them dont, dont force anything but thats just me Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 DAY 0.. Well update on the ex! Called her straight after work today to sort the phone out. Just chatted pleasantly about how she was and me and stuff like that. Then sorted the phone well agreed she is happy to keep it in her name as was worried about that as my credit is a bit naff at the moment due to my finances! She said to contact her nearer the time of the renewal to sort that out etc. Agreed to stay friends but told her I was just not ready right now which is simply the truth! She agreed it might just be too soon for me but she was good to her word and would like to stay mates and catch up now and then and I thought why not so agreed. Well then got onto her telling me she hopes I am ok and that I meet someone nice etc.. I mentioned I had been on a few dates and so on.. So thought it a good time to ask, so asked her are you seeing someone she acted a little awkward but then said yeah I have met someone, I wished her well with that and asked how long they had been together etc. She replied with 8 weeks.. We carried on with a few more pleasantries etc and then ended the call. So a quick calculation by me thats Mid March she has been seeing somone and did not even realise! LOL So about 6 weeks from when we split. I was kinda ok with it, it's also made me feel a bit more easy with moving on. I hope it works out for her I really do, maybe a little surprised she has got with someone so soon..! You quickly go through that I did not mean much in your head dont you!! LOL.. So back to NC all the way now.. until maybe later in the year when maybe I feel ok with contacting her and do you think I have done the right thing with the phone stuff as this keeps contact between us really. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Yeah, the phone stuff seems fine. When any issue regarding the phone comes up again, you'll likely be so healed that you'll switch it over to your own name or not be bothered in the slightest. For now, done and dusted. It's really time to move on now - just in time for summer, andy! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Hi Lonelydoll Thanks for your comments, how are you Hun? Yeah in the move on mode and our paths will cross I'm pretty sure but hopefully will be a better and healed person by then.. I do value her friendship just not ready for it right now so no harm in agreeing but thought I would be honest and say I was not ready and she understood and even agreed it was maybe too soon. I am pleased for her in an odd way that she has found someone else, I just want her to be happy and for this new guy to care for her and give her the love she deserves.. Andy Link to comment
heynowwww Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Day 6 Somewhat depressed today over the situation. What bugs me the most is that the new man she is with is 9 years older than me and has a nice house and everything. I am fresh out of college and in my first job. I know I should not compare myself to him but I wonder how I ever could compete. I guess when I am 33 then I could haha. I also wonder how she can look him in the face after cheating on him but I know that is there problem not mine. i am still focusing on bettering myself. Mind, Body, & Soul, just taking it day by day. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Day 13 Apparently 13 is my lucky number, as I'm doing good today, feel great. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks of no contact and I'm looking forward to it, than I can look forward to 3 weeks, and finally a month. I'm just in a good state of mind right now Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Day 13 Still feeling a bit down. Dunno why I relapsed so suddenly. I was doing good! I want to feel better! She seems to send me small messages about little things every now and then. I think it was yesterday she sent me an IM commenting on my trip abroad. Today she texted me to say she had wired me some money she owed me for some furniture. She didn't have to do that, I would have seen her transfer in my records. I didn't reply to any of her messages, as they were not questions that warranted a response. Am I being an asshole ignoring her like that? Cause I don't want to be... Also feeling more and more bitter about her leaving. I was really understanding at first, but I feel more and more anger about it. Dunno why, cause I do understand her. * * * *! Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Day 9 I dont feel anything, just watched Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind ... uhm..nice film I've decided to move on and leave these memories in some drawer of my brain, someday maybe few years later, Ill look at them again.. Link to comment
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