sandyv Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Sandy, I know this is harsh, but i am a realist....now that you know this guy is a A Hole, it is up to you to never allow him to rip you a new one ever again. I hope you stick to this girlfriend. Can't get blood out of a turnip! And I know it's hard as he11. But not impossible. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. JS: No your right about that...... he is an #1 A hole...... can't let him destroy me, and that seems to be what he's attempting to do...... Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 8 Soo, she texted me today. Wants me to forward some mail/bills to her, and she asked how I was doing (she knows it was rough on me). But I don't know her address, so just sending the letters/bill might prove hard without writing her back asking for the address. Haven't decided what to do yet. Don't want to break NC... On another note, started motorcycle training today, gonna be good . Might buy a guitar this week or the next too. It's ME time! Feelings today: excited (about doing things for me), somewhat indifferent, bitter, melancholy Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Rosie, I'd never be so bold as to call anyone bonkers! Everyone's situation is different and thereforeeee everyone will react differently. I only know what i have been through. I had all the promises that she had changed, that she would never hurt me again, i was all she ever wanted. The last time we spoke, i asked her why she kept doing this to me. Her answer hit me like a ton. "because you let me". And she was right. I think i needed to here that in order to start healing properly. I know i will never "let" anyone treat me that way again. I've read a lot of your posts too Rosie, and you show such amazing strength that i would hate to see you slip back in any way. SD is right, if you do nothing, you can't do anything wrong. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing and all those other things that people say. You've put an enormous amount of work into yourself in the last 86 days and sound like you are seeing the benefits from it. Do you really want to let him take that away from you again??? Trust me, each time they do, it's harder to deal with. I've been so close to let edge at times it's almost felt like i was falling. Noone can tell you what to do. You have to go with your gut. shoes i just noticed how bad my typing is! i blame the stupid PC keyboards at work. The world would be a better place if we all had Macs!! Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 8 Well, day 8 is ending, havent broken the NC, but I did talk to a friend of hers who works with her (sort of a mutual friend I guess). I asked him how she was doing at he told me that she was pissed that he brought my name up and walked away from him. What the hell?! She broke up with me, not to mention started seeing a guy behind my back, what possible reason does she have to still be pissed at me? Link to comment
Pending Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 21(agian..day 12 if you count facebook) Really really tempted to break three weeks of no contact on both sides, if only to kick start the communcation once agian... Honestly, getting to the point where it actually seems like a good idea. So I gotta get out of this mindset that NC is going get her back. If your under 25 years old, the only way your going get back togather is the will of the almighty and a whole lot of luck. In next few days off to work for the summer(here at home-small town), when I was suppose to be going out to live with her. So going be abit bad for a day or two, but i'm sure it'll be fine. Link to comment
dtman85 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I am doing good with NC...and i encourage you guys to keep doing what you do...is better for you, it was hard for me to do it.. But it the best thing for myself not for her...since the break up i have improve my self by going to the gym six days a week and stayin no contact with her almost a month now...and she have contacted me twice..latest one this morning...But remember it not a sign that they want to get back, when they contact you...Words are words...ACTION SPEAK... So i am just living my life right now and waiting to see the action...but i am moving on also...so i am not really waitin for her anymore. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Thanks, Shoes. I guess it's safe to say I'm feeling extra lonely lately. And it's not like I'm not extra busy with social plans, and, of course, work. We have a saying in AA: "When in doubt, don't." Since I have my doubt, I won't contact him. But I really miss his companionship, even if things weren't always so peachy. After having the kind of overwhelming work day I just "enjoyed," I miss knowing that he was waiting for me at the end of my day. I don't think I've ever felt so lonely this acutely, because I didn't know what I was missing. Alas, I'm exhausted. Time for my favorite thing: sleep Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I think today ended DAY 8 of N.C. for me... I still love and miss the CRAP out of her. And i especially miss the good times. Sometimes i catch myself remenising on the good times.. and get a little bit resentful that she jumped into a new "serious" relationship so fast. But my grounding thoughts are that i have NO CONTROL over her or her actions. Only mine. Sure i made mistakes... and i have expressed how i wanted to make things work, and she opted for "space" (i.e. dating a new guy...). Life is ok... I go to the gym almost every day. It has become my new g/f! LOL I eat better, work out, study, and work. I have LOTS of free time, but i do my best to soak it up with stuff. Life will go on, i'll be ok. I DO love and miss her, and it sorta upsets me she hasnt attempted to call... but its ok. Mood: Bittersweet (reality of us never getting together again is sinking in). Optimistic of possible dates. Scared to move on. Depressed when i hear certain songs throughout the day, confused as to how she can turn off her feelings.... I find coming on ENA REALLY REALLY REALLY helped!!!! BUT, in some ways... i sorta like to take a couple days off here and there. So no updating every day.. as i realize it sorta makes me bitter as to what happened. I will come on and update accordingly... and can;t say thank you enough to EVERYONE! Link to comment
Pending Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Insidious1, Yeah i'm going to have to go about the same thing soon. Log onto the site to keep me straight along the NC line, but keep my visits few besides that. Link to comment
finalcloud13 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 4 Got a message from ex saying thank you for my birthday gift, which was received 4 days ago. She said she's saying thank you a second time because the first time it was not her, but her boyfriend impersonating you saying thank you. Tough, but I didn't reply. If she didn't mention her boyfriend, I probably would have gave in and replied. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 87 Had another rough night last night. Missing him something awful. The loneliness is compounded by some life challenges. Feels like there's no end in sight, but, of course, that's never true. The only thing we're guaranteed in this life is change. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 9 Up to Day 9 now, feeling good, aside from being irritated by what she said about me the other day, I have no urge to contact her. In fact I have no urge to ever see her again, she completely burned her bridges with me, and while that's said, I really dont' care anymore. Link to comment
Pending Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 22 Well slipped up a tiny bit-viewed her facebook, knowing that i'm off in a day and might be netless for awhile. Maybe its only tempary, but I don't feel that bad. I'll miss her, but it just convinced me that after three weeks of no contact, I just have to get on with my life. Might feel like * * * * in the long run but thats life. Were young, we'll both move on-and who knows what the future well bring. Btw-does this count as my NC challenge being broken? =( Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day 4 for me Felt a bit better today, work was more focussed for me which was good. Geez whats happened to the weather eh for my fellow UK guys.. Was like summer last month and more like winter again all of a sudden just lowers your mood a bit I guess! She still has not got back to me about sorting me phone out, still got the urge to text or call to sort it out but then think why should I as I left it open for her to let me know when she is free to speak about it.. I just dont get why she does not want to sort it out, surely she wants to get it over and done with so she has no other reason to have contact with me as I thought that would be what she wanted. Unless she just feels a bit awkward about it at the moment..! Out tomorrow night with a mate for a few beers so that should be good... Still got that do I dont I text/call feeling to get this phone sorted...argh... I know it wont help though as being pushy again and then if she dont reply will be gutted or if she does it may be awkward anyway.. Off to gym a bit later that always makes me feel a bit better... Only another 86 days til my target of 90 days!! woohoo.. Link to comment
marooon11 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Hi everyone, I would like to join the challenge. My story is posted in Healing after breakup section... I guess I am officially Day 6 of NC - last Friday I sent a text but didn't get a response; last time we interacted via text was the Wednesday right before, so its been 8 days since I have heard from him. Basically he hooked up with a girl less than 2 weeks and bragged about it to his friends after he broke up with me, after telling me our whole relationship he wanted to change and growup and not club/party/drink/weed/ hook up. I found this out last Friday - hence the mocking text I sent him with no subsequent reply. I rationally know I dont want him back, and I want to get through him... but I need support during the times I am feeling sad and irrational!! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Hi Marooon11 Welcome to the NC Challenge, well you are a couple of days ahead of me already(my second attempt at NC though, got to 20+ days last time!) so best of luck.. Andy Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Hey Maroon11 Stick to it, and come here for support whenever you need it. If you are sad and irrational, just blow off the steam here. We can do it together! Link to comment
marooon11 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Thanks Andy and Underbear , i am looking forward to working with everyone so we can get THRU this! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 May the force be with you......always. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Pending Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 So can I get the awnser on my challenge breaking question? (facebook visit) Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 YOU DON'T GO TO MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK..... If you do..you're back at DAY ONE. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Well I guess I am lucky in the respect of Facebook and MySpace as my ex uses the internet but doesnt visit or have pages on those sites well not that I know of but doubt it very much as the internet for her is too book flights, holidays and check emails and thats about it.. Link to comment
Pending Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Day1-attempt #2 haha...wish me luck Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 GOOOOD LUCK!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
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