11everything2-1nothing Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 I think most break ups are planned, unless its because of a fight at that moment. Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 Day 3 Yesterday was good. I'm not thinking about her as much, except when I go to bed. Then I am channeling my thoughts to bad things about her and how she did me wrong. Today I woke up angry with her. Hopefully I can keep the anger going. The more I associate her with bad things, the more I don't want to be with her. I brainwashing myself like she brainwashed herself so that she could "fall out of love" with me. My mom is holding a lot of resentment towards my ex. I heard her talking to my sister in law about her, and I could hear the anger in her voice. Getting back together with her would be a mess. Today I feel: Depressed, Confident, Angry, and Bitter. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 Stick with it Mac.. Day 9 for me, some soppy film on earlier so that made me think of her more than I have done the last few days.. Still on the mend. A colleague of mine at work his girlfriend works at another place with my ex. So at moment just trying to remember not to say too much to him too as think it has been getting back to her and only thought about it the other day! So need to make sure I keep my gob shut!! Link to comment
supercalifragilistic Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 Day 3 I feel great! Didn't wake up with that bad feeling I was usually waking up with. I don't even remember dreaming about him like I usually do. I don't think he was in my dream. YAY! Not that I don't love him anymore. I always will (he was always good to me, still is, so there's no reason to hate him or stop loving him). But I'm starting to accept there's nothing I can do. I know he'll be back. Don't know if I'll still want to be with him by then, but I just know it. And that's that. I think the next few days will be just as easy, after all, I want HIM to want me and chase ME, and if I keep chasing him that will obviously never happen. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 Day 23 since last direct contact/Day 6 since I looked at his myspace I am logging all of the ex's text messages and deleting them. Maybe this is not very NC of me, but they reveal a lot, and it feels great to be deleting them. But I've also had my phone off most of the past two days, and when I listened to voicemail, there's a really creepy one from him. It's deleted now, but for a couple of hours this morning, I felt enraged and nearly like I wanted to contact him - he stated a lot of things that were flat-out wrong on the voicemail, and I had that burning desire to set him straight with the facts, but I heard blender's "voice" in my head, reminding me this was all about HIM, and besides, who cares now if he was mistaken when he left the vmail on 3/27......YUK! There's no internet at my folks', I'm at the local library - but I am looking forward to contributing to the RED FLAGS thread when I get back to civilization! Link to comment
Krisnakay Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 Day 2...horrible horrible day.I'm frustrated,irritated but have not called.I keep thinking of lots of reasons to..but then I remember if I even stand a chance of getting back with him that I have to give him his space..I love him enough to do that. Link to comment
bear12 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 day 23 of round 2... i've been missing him a lot today (weekends are always rough..) and technically it would have been our 1.5 year anniversary today. i can't believe it's already been six months since he gave me a dozen roses and told me i made him happier than he's ever been. god, how much things can change in a few short months. i wonder if he's sitting home bored on his computer too or out and about with the new love (or at least infactuation) of his life... anyway, my two choices for the evening: 1) sit at home and wallow in self pity or 2) go to a party and be forced to watch all the annoying couples andTHEN come home and wallow in self pity. hmmm... i'm not usually totally antisocial, but i'm just not sure i'm up for this particular event, we'll see.... Link to comment
Krisnakay Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 My ex is sitting at home right now thinking about how badly he screwed up.. A girl can hope Link to comment
supercalifragilistic Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 My ex is sitting at home right now thinking about how badly he screwed up.. A girl can hope Sure. Mine is out going out with the girl who will make him realize how much he actually loves me You never know, it doesn't hurt to believe that as long as you're living your life and not just sitting around waiting for him. I know that I am doing that. I firmly believe he'll come back. Meanwhile, I'll live my life and be happy Took me two months to get to this state of mind, but am I ever glad it happened. I was getting tired of being depressed and seeing no meaning in life. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 54 He's been in my thoughts all day. Especially his hair. Friday nights have always been hardest for me since we split, and that bled right into Saturday. NC NC NC Couldn't take having my heart ripped out again. Odd thing, been feeling I'll hear from him. Very optimistically in fact. I'm so easily deluded. Link to comment
houdini Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 47 of NC on my part.... The ex emailed me a couple days ago and threw me a bit as it made me think about her more than I already do (if thats even possilble). Today is a rather difficult day for me because it's easter tomorrow and I'm a bit sad because I do not have my son with me... This time last year we had a nice get together with my family and the kids...This year, it will be another family easter but without MY family..... it's just not the same anymore and I can't imagine how any future easter will ever be any better... What will life be like having to settle?????? Day 47 of NC....and feel lost, confused and still heart broken! Houdini Link to comment
Krisnakay Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 day 3 I went to bed late and still woke up early...my kids are still sleeping and the house is too quiet.This is the hardest part for me.Dreading Tuesday since it will be the firs time I have to see him since he dumped me.UUGGHHH:sad: Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 55 Happy Easter. Broke out weeping about him two times last night. Today's another day, I reckon. And I've got nice plans to spend the day with friends for a lovely and festive feast. Link to comment
solarplexus Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 17 Feeling great. After six months, first time I did not think her as the first thing when I woke up and realized this later on. Link to comment
11everything2-1nothing Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 7 I woke up in a panic again today. I had a dream about him last night, in it he confessed that he was wrong for leaving me. I think it made me feel even sadder when I woke up to realize that it was only a dream. I cried this morning. I find that the mornings are the hardest, because I have to start each day realizing that he's not here. Somehow, I forget that every time I fall asleep. In a sense it feels like I am being broken up with all over again at the beginning of each day. Oh yes, I almost forgot to add this. Day 7, seven days, this marks the longest we have ever went without speaking to one another. Its hard. I fear that I may be more inclined to try, just have to keep thinking that if I did cave in, it will only be wasted on another meaningless voice message. Link to comment
houdini Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 It's been 49days of NC and yesterday I screwed up and sent her a myspace invite on accident. I had done a search using her work email address to see if she had a myspace page. The search came back nothing and I noticed I had a typo on her email address so I fixed it and pressed "enter" on my keyboard and it was sent thinking it was doing another search but what it actually did was send her an invite to myspace to get her own page!!!.. I know she's going to get mad, or think that I'm playing games. My intentions weren't to contact her because I've been doing so good staying away...now she's going to think I made contact with her, or that I'm here still thinking about her,missing her etc... I feel like 49days has gone down the drain... What do I do and how do I fix this??? Will this make her upset and push her away even more??? I know she despises myspace and always told me to never get one... Any advice???? I'm a nervous wreck here and dreading tomorrow when she checks her work email!!!! Houdini Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 24 since last direct contact/ Day 7 since I looked at his myspace Though I can't remember them, I think I had dreams about the ex last night. I awoke feeling strange, and thinking about him, in the middle of the night. My sleep patterns aren't normal right now, but I don't usually think about him in the middle of the night. I was thinking: that really, looking back now, he was a stranger to me. He was a holiday romance that should've remained just that. Thinking of him as a holiday romance (I did meet him while I was travelling) helps to keep the feelings in check. Also, since he wasn't the first holiday romance, I'm sure he won't be the last. But thanks to him, I've discovered some new red flags, and will be better prepared the next time I open my heart to someone new. So today I'm feeling cautiously optimistic for the first time since he left the US on March 13. Come on, Summer! Link to comment
bear12 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 day 24 of round two (last time i broke NC on day 24 so i guess i'll beat that this time.) i went to easter church this morning- partially for tradition but also b/c i was sure i wouldn't think about him the WHOLE time (since he's jewish at all! ) but the annoying thing was i couldn't help picturing him there next to me and how much fun it would be if he were here enjoying this beautiful weather with me, going off to our friends' house for brunch, etc... i try to keep telling myself that i just miss having a boyfriend and that i'll have that again, but i really do just miss HIM... ugh, when will it end??!!! i'm going to be posting on here in five years being like "NC Day 1937" sigh... Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Keep your head up Bear. Sometimes I think us staying on these forums might prolong the pain. Maybe give yourself a break from them? I am thinking about it but have so much free time I don't know how else to fill the void this place has created. Link to comment
supercalifragilistic Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 day 24 of round two (last time i broke NC on day 24 so i guess i'll beat that this time.) i went to easter church this morning- partially for tradition but also b/c i was sure i wouldn't think about him the WHOLE time (since he's jewish at all! ) but the annoying thing was i couldn't help picturing him there next to me and how much fun it would be if he were here enjoying this beautiful weather with me, going off to our friends' house for brunch, etc... i try to keep telling myself that i just miss having a boyfriend and that i'll have that again, but i really do just miss HIM... ugh, when will it end??!!! i'm going to be posting on here in five years being like "NC Day 1937" sigh... I know what you mean. I saw you replied to my other post about the secret, so I'll suggest something that might help. Even if you don't believe in it. Try to make it a challenge or a game or whatever you want to call it, NOT to think about your ex. Not bad things anyways. Everytime you find yourself thinking something you wouldn't want to happen, redirect your thought to something else or at least to a good moment you had together. It took me a while to really realize that there's no use in worrying. I mean, I always knew it, but I just couldn't bring myself to really accept it. But now I see that worying about something is not gonna solve anything, it's only going to make me unhappy. So I decided to just really trust that if my ex really loves me and was happy with me, he'll be back. And if he doesn't, then there's nothing I can do. I love him and want him to be happy. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't really want to be with me. I'm sure that if he's that person he'll be back, and if not, I'll find someone better. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Day 3 Yesterday was good. I'm not thinking about her as much, except when I go to bed. Then I am channeling my thoughts to bad things about her and how she did me wrong. Today I woke up angry with her. Hopefully I can keep the anger going. The more I associate her with bad things, the more I don't want to be with her. I brainwashing myself like she brainwashed herself so that she could "fall out of love" with me. My mom is holding a lot of resentment towards my ex. I heard her talking to my sister in law about her, and I could hear the anger in her voice. Getting back together with her would be a mess. Today I feel: Depressed, Confident, Angry, and Bitter. Hey Mac Anger is good for the healing process...we earlier you need to get angry and at the time you said you couldnt.....now look at you! Link to comment
Zeus2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Here I am day 9 of no Contact and yesterday she emailed me then texted me on her way to work. Both I would not have been able pick up or answer even though I would not have ( believe me I would not have done it / it means too much knowing what you people have taught me ) been able to answer. It puts me in position to return her phone or message ( returning control to her ) and she needs to really come to me to show I matter. I will be strong for me since I showed her that she mattered earlier and she took it for granted. Great thread guys. Link to comment
Zeus2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 No contact works !!!!! Not only do you feel better about yourself it can give you hope. You just have to be strong. Link to comment
Rachelle Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Can i take the challenge if i'm not broke up? I'm still with my boyfriend, but i'd like to see how long i can stay away from him. Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Can i take the challenge if i'm not broke up? I'm still with my boyfriend, but i'd like to see how long i can stay away from him. Lol be careful what you wish for! Link to comment
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