andreap Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 oooops! That was meant to start out "Hi all," Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 A duelling piano bar?! That sounds interesting! Hope you have a great night Also hope you have a good time on your date. Go you! Link to comment
andreap Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Thank you Parsley! I really have been pushing myself!! I remember reading your earlier posts about how you would visit family or spend the day in the city to distract yourself.....all great ideas. The worst thing I have a tendency to do is to sit home and dwell,.....not good. So...time to go get ready before the girls get here. As far as the "date".....I'll post next week about that one....I haven't been on a date in almost 10 years....so I'm keeping it very casual and gonna have him meet my friends and I out somewhere for a drink....otherwise I back out of it.... have a good night! It's quite late where you are by now right? Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Parsley, Your posting is pretty funny, and I can completely understand not wanting to broadcast that to your friends! Sorry to hear that the show got your wheels turning, though. How are you doing otherwise? Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 day22...today was kind of weird for me. weather was sunny then cloudy..also sort of had a minor set back when my pops brought up my ex's cousin's b-day and stuff. kind of annoying when i told him already not to bring her up anymore. kind of died and stuff and i don't need reminds. then he started to talk about how school is monday and not to get mad or jealous what so ever if i see her. i tried to explain to him, if you go to a university, the chance in seeing someone you know is slim unless you call or plan to meet them. i don't know. i am like to that point where im completely over it already, but my dads still refuse to let this go. i don't know to him, i don't care about it but! i really keep telling him i don't wanna talk about anymore. Then suddenly my dad started making it a big deal about how i should just take this semester off and wait till i transfer to SDSU in the fall. hell no!! i will not sit at home for a semester and do nothing. i want to continue school. anyways im glad my mom was here to shut him up about this. haha. anyways..the rest of the day went ok, movies, basketball, and now i have to clean my damn room since its all messy. well i'll post again later. Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Long, hard night. Been Awake since three in the morning which is pretty usual for me now. I'm missing her like crazy. Thankfully my head still rules on this one, but my heart won't ler her go. I'm trying to keep busy and despite a lapse a few days ago (checking her email and logging into her chatroom) i haven't actually had any contact with her for three weeks. That's the longest time we have gone without speaking, even when we split for three months. Maybe i'll feel different tomorrow.I don't like that i miss her in this way. I feel right now if she called, i'd take her back.That's despite all i've said in here. I'll probably snap out of this later (taking a friends kid ice skating) when it hits me that she doesn't give a * * * * about me or how i feel, i probably never even cross her mind except for her to bad mouth me to her friends. I don't want to feel this way. I want to forget all about her. shoes Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Can't stop crying. Want to call her so much right now but i know it would only make me worse. when does it stop? when does the inexorable pain go away? i shou hate her for all she has done to me but i alawys find myself back here. i still love her. she's gone Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 comfyshoes-- Sorry to hear your night has been so hard. I've definitely been there and can relate on everything you posted. But even though it's so hard to imagine ever feeling differently when you're going through those moments, know that those moments/days do start to get farther and farther apart...and the feelings get less painful with more time. I know it doesn't really help to hear that because it can be so hard to believe, but at least remind yourself that it will get better. As for me, my day seems to be ok so far. Just ok, nothing good, nothing bad (although I did just wake up). Last night I finally decided to stop worrying about what I decide to do with my future and just calm down about it all, so I got to sleep pretty quickly. He's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and I wish he weren't. But it used to be like this horrible realization that "omg, this is really what my life is like. we're not together anymore. and i have to get through this day," and now it's kind of like he pops into my head when I wake up. But I wish he wouldn't. I have lots of studying to do today since I have been basically wasting my time the last 3 days. I'm tired of all this studying. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Shoes, I'm so sorry that you were up last night, and were upset. How are you doing now? Were you able to get some shut-eye? Why do you think your heart won't let go? What is it 'saying' to you? Boston, Ahhh, the weight issue. I'm a non-size since my break-up. A size zero. I get what you mean about being worried about your health. I eat a lot of food, like, buckets of very healthy stuff but was still losing weight because of being awake more hours, and running my feet off. I stopped losing weight thanks to cake, alcohol, and cheese (the last has always been a favourite, the cake and booze are just for now to up my calories....). Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Day 7, Round 3 (ding ding ding) We're both in our corners, both doing NC. I was coerced into going out last night by a friend (who used the 'because it's Saturday night' logic on me), but really wanted to stay in and work. It dawned on me how much I hate the singles scene, especially in bars. Today, I have an impending "thing" that seems to be something like a date with the "sexy" former employee I posted about earlier. I was excited about this a couple of days ago, but some time last night I started feeling funny. I think it's probably a bad idea for a bouquet of reasons.... Otherwise, I'm doing pretty well. I've been back on track with work, rest, and play (everything is balanced now) and I'm happy. Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Boston, Ahhh, the weight issue. I'm a non-size since my break-up. A size zero. I get what you mean about being worried about your health. I eat a lot of food, like, buckets of very healthy stuff but was still losing weight because of being awake more hours, and running my feet off. I stopped losing weight thanks to cake, alcohol, and cheese (the last has always been a favourite, the cake and booze are just for now to up my calories....). [for those of you wondering, i moved the post about my weight to "Getting over break up/divorce"] thanks Shaker. It is frustrating to feel like I can't eat or I won't eat and then I get annoyed with myself over it, and that just makes me even less likely to eat. It's strange how the body handles stress. So, as usual, the days that I feel pretty good when I wake up, this day has gone down hill. I'm at school now and I'm supposed to be studying for this stupid exam and instead I've been here for about 40 min only and already I've been in tears once. blech. and i haven't cried in about a week!! of course, this could all be procrastination Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 shoot. i'm getting a stronger and stronger urge to contact my ex. this sucks. stay away!! don't do it!! at some point i know i'll trip up, and then i'll be upset about it and come back here back to day 1. or maybe i can just stay strong until this evil urge goes away. basically, all of the things i would say to him are stupid. like, "you made me feel unattractive, you idiot." and "why would you ever do that??!?!?" and "your friends aren't mad at you, they just realize that you're a complete loser" and oh the best, "why can't we just go back to the way things were?" as if they were even that great yeah, so it's probably not the best idea to contact him, huh? Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I'm having one of the worst days days so far. Saw her drive by in her car. My heart felt like it was going to explode. But...I can handle no contact fairly well. It really calms me. I 'm on day 5, as she came to the house last Wednesday and we spoke. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 28, 2007 Author Share Posted January 28, 2007 Boston, You contact your ex....I will be standing at your doorway with DUCT TAPE!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 haha thanks SD. although it's funny that i'm thanking you for threatening me but it's definitely something that i need to remember. if i do it, i'll also want to be at my door with duct tape. so i suppose i'm continuing my existensial crisis today...most likely because i don't want to study. i've lost the flow that i had for the last year. and my emotions are retarded. just have to get a grip on all this and deal with myself and my studies. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Boston, You're my study buddy today. It's official. I also have a heap of work to get through, and can't focus as well as I'd like to. So we're in this together, and I expect PROGRESS! Link to comment
GoingForIt_77 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Well, 5 days after she left me, she said she needed a little space when I called her and so, I went into strict NC for ONE week and then SHE emails me, requesting to have her stuff back and vice versa, asking if last Saturday was okay. I replied about a day and a half later, letting her know I was tied up on the weekend. She replied IMMEDIATELY asking about Friday night after she finished work (just to make the exchange). I replied immediately letting her know that I was had plans on Friday night, but how does Monday or Tuesday night after work (next week) sound? 24 hours later and I get no reply from her and so I resend pretty much the same email and now 4 days later since her first reply to a request that SHE initiated, I have still yet to hear back from her concerning the exchange. AND SO, I am on Day 3 now of NC, UNTIL she decides to remember our stuff and chooses to contact me AGAIN concerning it. I just don't know. Either way, it is now Day 3 again and I am NOT the one who broke NC. This isn't fair. Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Boston, You're my study buddy today. It's official. I also have a heap of work to get through, and can't focus as well as I'd like to. So we're in this together, and I expect PROGRESS! Sounds good Shaker! I just finished studying one of the chapters (yay!) and now I'm taking my lunch break. Eating slowwwly. Hope all that heap of work is getting smaller for you Shaker! Wow, my emotions are soo all over the place today. Oh, and this is uhh day 8 of NC. (counting the day that I called him literally by accident as day 1). Really, it should be day day 11. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 good afternoon everyone. Day 24 NC! doing great; watching the australian open replay of Federer vs. Gonzales; it's a great match so far! Hope everyone's doing good; I will post again later! Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Day 30 over and done with! I did it! I shall continue to do it, obviously. Thanks Shaker, yeah I did laugh - having to cover up the real reason I was laughing because I was with siblings. No one needs to know stuff like that about their little sister. Other than that...it turned into a bit of a weird night in general.I actually ended up crying a lot at like...2am, but I don't really know why. Maybe it was just a sort of pent up tension thing, and realising it had been a month hit me a bit unexpectedly. Today has been good. A busy day, so not much chance to dwell on him. It was my little cousin's christening today - and though the mass dragged on (with a very very strange priest) the meal afterwards and the family bit after that was fun. I have some little cousins that cracked me up a lot, my brother and I spent awhile playing with a 2 year old pretending his cap was behind his ear and all that. It was so funny, a 7 year old cousin was telling us about how she'd had a verruca frozen off - her step dad did it at home and said she wouldn't have felt it if he hadn't said it might hurt. Her comeback? "I think I would...because I can feel things." *Very* funny. How about you Shaker? Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Yay! Congrats, Parsley. You're a graduate! I feel like you should throw a cap up in the air or get a marching band or something! I'm doing pretty well. I still run through a rainbow of emotions during the day, but for the most part I feel on top of things. I'm certainly learning a lot about myself, and am trying to come out the other end of this mess without being hardened to love or cynical or untrusting. I think I'm on track, but I worry that my options for future romance are slim...if my recent dates are any indication! Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Glad you're so optimistic! I know what you mean...sometimes it feels like I've gone through all the 'stages' of grief in 30 minutes. I kinda wish I was in an environment more conducive to dating. Even just as a way to boost my ego back up again! Unfortunately I'm not in a position to be able to get out of the house much - I have all of no money, and no way to get into town. Agh. I need a job *badly*. I am actually getting quite worried about the whole trust thing. I trusted my ex implicitly, even when he was ignoring me and cancelling on me with ridiculous reasons or standing me up. And the whole time I was wrong to. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 day 22 of this miraculous challenge. Day so far is pretty tiring. gone to the gym today and suprisingly im gaining so much more weight than i lost! lets just say i lost 11 pounds after the break up and gain 17 pounds and i look more cut than skinny during this whole nc season. im so very proud of myself. GEE WILIKERS! haha well im supposed to have dinner with family friends that are flying in fron the Philippines so that should be interesting. Im glad i didnt go to the exs cousins bday.it would have a waste of a drive, time, and most of all a major set back, so i rather pass on that. haha. man i feel great. well tomorrow is official the first day of school again. all i gotta do is get through this semester at csun then im on my way to my new life in SDSU! Link to comment
theallegedparadigm Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I think this is a step i need to take. I need to remove the power she has over me, i need to realise i deserve better, i need to realise she could never have made me happy because she would have always ended up running away and i need to start getting on with my life. Here goes! Link to comment
boston23 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Is it breaking NC if I look at emails that I sent him (specifically the one where I told him that I didn't want to be friends, and the one where I told him "no, i haven't stolen your friends, and i'm over you"). When I decided that I was going to do NC I decided NC included not looking at those (he never replied to either so I'm not looking at anything he said). What do you think? Does NC include everything having to do with the ex? Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts