TonyMar75 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yes, Tijuana, I saw that you mentioned she was 18. My ex is 21. That is pretty young to be expecting forever from someone. I went into the relationship trying to keep that in mind, just wanting to enjoy her company and see what happens. Then, of course, I fell in love and BAM! Here we are. I'm 31, you're 28. I say we both try to find women a little closer to our age. More than likely they will be more self-aware and emotionally mature. Stay strong... Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yes, Tijuana, I saw that you mentioned she was 18. My ex is 21. That is pretty young to be expecting forever from someone. I went into the relationship trying to keep that in mind, just wanting to enjoy her company and see what happens. Then, of course, I fell in love and BAM! Here we are. I'm 31, you're 28. I say we both try to find women a little closer to our age. More than likely they will be more self-aware and emotionally mature. Stay strong... OMG, thats exactly what happened in my case! I wasnt expecting too much out of the relationship, in fact she insisted meeting my parents. her parents adored me, she said she wanted to marry me... but I guess she got scared about her own pink dream becoming real... maybe thats why she immediately went back to partying after the breakup... you are right about looking for someone emotionally mature... next time I'll think about that before I jump into a commitment... Link to comment
luciand Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Day 4: Pretty boring day, studying, playing my guitar, the usual, but for some reason I felt like something was missing. It made my mind wander and think about old memories. Mostly about all the good times I had with my ex. All that did was make me sad that all of those great moments with her have come to an end. I immediately went for a 2hr walk to just clear my mind and enjoy the cold weather. Sigh... I'm moving on with my life, but it's still saddening to think that I most likely will never have those same great moments with her again. Hehe, I guess that means I'm still no where close to dating again. Thankfully I have the Wild Arms theme song to keep my spirits up. Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Day 4 for me. I'm not sure how I'm feeling. Like a battered old war vet I suppose. I know this stuff is supposed to hurt me, but right now I feel indifferent. I saw her at class again, and I didn't freeze or panic. I just carried on like I had my own stuff to do. A mutual friend of ours came by to pick her up after class, and there was an awkward moment where I greeted him, and said good night to everyone there. They followed me out to the street where we were parked, I could hear them talking in hushed tones. What ever. Putting myself back together seems a bit easier this time, though I'm sure it's opened new wounds tat haven't really registered yet. Just have to put the fires out as they are started. Link to comment
Tshwane Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 On Day 9, still spending time with ex(not the one who brought me here), we've always had an on/off relationship. Thinks never worked out because i always left her to go to the one who brought me here. She knows what happened and we are just enjoying each other's company. I've decided that i no longer want her back(the one who brought me here), so the NC is much eaasier than before. I think if you let go it becomes easier. I feel no urge to contact her. Link to comment
fleur-de-lis Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Day 4 I plan to study very hard today, I have neglected my projects the last days ... and I figured I'd better get something good from this whole situation I'm in. I'll be fine whether with him or without him... but it's silly to think about him all day long, when he probably gets busy doing useful stuff. Goodluck everyone today, hope you're feeling better Link to comment
audrey28 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 it's day 8 for me (or 9? if i get through this day, it will be the 9th...) anyway, i have been doing well the last little while but today has been really difficult....i am so tempted to call him....i miss him.... i went out last night and it's hard to get used to the idea that whatever new thing/s i'm going through, he will no longer be there to share it with.... i am so so so so so so so so so so (to the nth power) tempted. this is really really difficult and i need all the help i can get! Link to comment
fleur-de-lis Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 audrey, Quick question... why aren't they so tempted to call us? Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 My new found confidence boost is slightly on the wane... I am really tempted to contact him today. Not sure why. I won't though...I have given my mobile phone to a colleague so I can't send him a message x Link to comment
audrey28 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 fleur-de-lis.... i don't know....i guess just different ways of coping? anyway what do we know? they most likely are struggling too....in their own way.... Link to comment
fleur-de-lis Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yes audrey, I think you're right... but I have a lot of anger toward him right now... Pisces_Princess, hang on ...I have read your posts and you are doing so well Link to comment
papalazarou Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Papa L, I didn't 'get' the easy mate comment??? Hiya! I said I found Manchester cleaner than London (apologies to London) and Scruff is of course from London!! Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Ahhhh...that makes sense now!!! Having a low day today...how are you? x Link to comment
papalazarou Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Im Ok but very tired. Havent slept much recently...but as Superdave would say just keep swimming....just keep swimming image removed Link to comment
TonyMar75 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Help! Someone remind me I'm doing NC for me, NOT to get her back. I want another chance so badly, but I have to accept that it's over. I'm trying to let go of the hope, but it's so hard. Plus, I have to see her every day at work. Everything comes flooding back when I walk into the office and see her each morning -- all the progress I feel like I'm making seems washed away at that moment. I wake each morning with thoughts of her. My stomach is in knots. My heart beats so fast. Sigh...Day 2 Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 TonyMar75, I know it sounds impossible to imagine but it does get easier, I promise. I was completely devestated when my relationship came to an abrupt end in October last year. I thought I was going insane with grief and longing... but trust me it does start to get a little easier day by day. I still want him back, that hasn't changed...but I need to concentrate on me now. The way I figure it, if they want to come back to you they will and no amount of begging, pleading and crying will help. x Link to comment
TonyMar75 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 TonyMar75, I know it sounds impossible to imagine but it does get easier, I promise. I was completely devestated when my relationship came to an abrupt end in October last year. I thought I was going insane with grief and longing... but trust me it does start to get a little easier day by day. I still want him back, that hasn't changed...but I need to concentrate on me now. The way I figure it, if they want to come back to you they will and no amount of begging, pleading and crying will help. x Thanks, Pisces. That's just what I needed before I head off to work to face her again. I hope you're hanging in there, too. Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yes I am hanging in there...but no use pretending that it is easy x Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I'm kind of down so far this morning. I know I need to let her go, but I don't want to.. It just feels so wrong Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 AllTornUp, I think quite a few of us are having 'off' days today. I know I am feeling pretty low x Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 It helps knowing you're all out there. I can't believe I'm back in this hole. I wish healing didn't take so long.. Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I am waiting for the day that the pain stops...x Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Day......? Another day. I feel good so far, each day since her birthday has been getting better and better. I find myself thinking a little less about her everyday. That kind of scares me (i have thought about this girl every day of my life for 5 years). But its what needs to be done. I was thinking about something last night and how we (myself included) bring pain on ourselves to try and heal. That doesnt make any sense to me, yet it is a common occurrence in breakups. Think about the things we have all done immediately after the breakup. We did things that just made us feel worse, and made it impossible to heal. Think about an injury you have ever had. Say a broken arm for instance. To heal properly you must get a cast and learn to leave it be to heal on its own. If you immediately start using the arm with no cast it will hurt like ****, and will never heal correctly. Why do we do this to our hearts? Our heads tell us that it hurts to do these certain things yet our hearts wont let us stop. Its all very fascinating if you ask me. So for those of you who are having a bad day...hang in there it gets better. A month ago I thought life was over, and I would never get any better. But today I am a changed person, and I have taken the time to realize that and heal myself. On a side note, I went out with a few friends last night and this girl from high school was at my buddy's house. She is gorgeous (always has been). But anyway we were discussing my roomate moving out and she said that she was looking for a place to live close to where we do. She might become our new roomate. She has a boyfriend (kind of an ***hole) but he lives about an hour away. She is living with him right now but is willing to move out and move closer to school. So i think it would be a lot of fun to have a beautiful girl as a roomate right now, especially after everything I have been through. It would be nice to have a girl around to get feedback from her side of things and to make me feel wanted. She is a really nice, fun, and like I said BEAUTIFUL girl. Is this a bad idea at this time in my life. I just dont want to start to have feelings for her. I think that would be awkward all around. She asked me for my number last night and said to call her sometime to hang out. It turns out we both love wine, and she said its hard to find guys who know anything and appreciate wine and that she would like to go out and get some wine sometime. I was kind of confused by this whole situation. Her BF is a very controlling person who i have known for a long time and doesnt treat women very well. I guess we will see what happens. Any advice about this would be helpful!! HAng in there everyone, it is going to get easier. I PROMISE!!! Link to comment
honeyspur Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Think about an injury you have ever had. Say a broken arm for instance. To heal properly you must get a cast and learn to leave it be to heal on its own. If you immediately start using the arm with no cast it will hurt like ****, and will never heal correctly. Why do we do this to our hearts? Our heads tell us that it hurts to do these certain things yet our hearts wont let us stop. Its all very fascinating if you ask me. Beautifully stated and very true. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Day 5. In the wee hours of the morning, I was the most miserable I've been in a while. There must be something in the air; it seems today is tough for all the posters here. The trigger was one of my friends said to me, "Your ex didn't choose to be with the other woman." I was perplexed b/c I'm sure he's seeing her. She added, "He just chose not to be with you." Ouch. To get through the dawn, I cried. I wrote out how I was feeling. I read. Eventually, I fell asleep. Now, things are a little better but I still feel raw. The sun is out for the first time in a week, so I'm going to go for a walk when I have a chance to step away from work. Other things: Ate breakfast. Planned a nice dinner, and will cook for my roommate too. I'm going to go to my meetings tonight, and I'll run my feet off at lunchtime. Link to comment
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