penelope13 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 BG, one possible explanation of your dream: secretly (one one side) you still believe the way to get your ex back is by making him jealous, but you don't want to be the active force behind it, so you are hoping you run into your ex by chance (i.e. a place where you shouldn't expect to see him, when you are doing things that you usually don't do), and that your friends do all the 'dirty work' so to speak and inform him about the new guy in your life. - However the other part of your brain is starting to doubt if the jealousy approach would really work, so you walk away before you can see the outcome, since you won't to avoid hearing from him, that he might be jealous, but still not want to be with you. Walking away gives you the opportunity to hold on to the fantasy: see he is jealous and if I had stayed around, he would be with me. Only meant for food for thought Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 God damn it! very nearly sent an email!!! had it all typed out just saying "I love you" but managed to stop myself at the last second. Today is getting harder and harder! Link to comment
philove Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 God damn it! very nearly sent an email!!! had it all typed out just saying "I love you" but managed to stop myself at the last second. Today is getting harder and harder! Don't do it! You will regret sending it, trust me I've made that mistake too many times before! Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 God damn it! very nearly sent an email!!! had it all typed out just saying "I love you" but managed to stop myself at the last second. Today is getting harder and harder! GOOD! Be strong. Don't do it. Post it here instead. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Don't do it! You will regret sending it, trust me I've made that mistake too many times before! I know! its just driving me insane! I just want to speak to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I want is to know that she cares and hasn't forgotten about me. I MISS HER SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! Link to comment
philove Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 It's a battle of the will's! see it as a game, who will crack first! Be a man and show her how stong you are Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 It's a battle of the will's! see it as a game, who will crack first! Be a man and show her how stong you are Not very! Link to comment
philove Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Not very! Come on man, you made it to 8 days NC. That proves you have strength. My advice would be to get out of the house for a while. No phone, no email and it will pass over. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Come on man, you made it to 8 days NC. That proves you have strength. My advice would be to get out of the house for a while. No phone, no email and it will pass over. Im not even at home, im at work with 100 things to keep me occupied and I still cant stop thinking about her. Cant even imagine how bad its going to be when I go home! Might just go to the pub and not bother going home. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Im not even at home, im at work with 100 things to keep me occupied and I still cant stop thinking about her. Cant even imagine how bad its going to be when I go home! Might just go to the pub and not bother going home. Just make sure you don;t have your mobile on you so you don't fall prey to the drunk dialling Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 ^^ ash ^^ i hope you get the response you're looking for. i sent the "i need closure" email about 5 days ago.. (still no response, and i really was nice...) So, i'll keep my fingers crossed that your experience goes better than mine! Keep us posted! well still no response..but im taking that as a response in itself..if he doesnt care enough to give me closure then forget him...time to move on...actually a good day today..i started to work out again this moring so soon ...he wont even be worht my time... just treat his no response like i did..if he really cared..he would let you go, or give you the response you really want..and he didnt so screw him Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 39 Feel okay today, but right now (just after 5pm in the UK on a Friday) is the worst time of the week as I know roundabout now my ex and her new guy wil be getting all excited about seeing each other after work so their weekend together can begin. I'm off round a friend's house right after work to take my mind off them, I keep waiting for the weekend to come when I don't think about her but it has yet to arrive after almost two months NC. Hope everyone's weekends goes well! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I've done the whole closure e-mail as well... and I always got replies from my ex and he even called me as per my request to try and give me closure but the truth is, he had NO explanation (well, of course it was more than an explanation for a break-up but for lying, tagging me along, etc..). He just ended getting very frustrated at himself and I ended up crying and being like "you don't owe me any explanation" because honestly, they don't own us explanation. We got to a point where my ex was like "Look, we hurt eachother too much, our wounds are still too open, we need space, don't contact me or I'll just be more confused" and then texted saying: "I don't want you to be sad, you are strong, you'll be ok, please don't hesitate to call me if you need me" to which I replied "thanks for believing in my strenght, im sure ill be ok, thanks, take care". The "closure" I got was the fact that he's dating someone else. This was 25 days ago, and I don't feel any better with that last contact and supposed closure. Therefore, NC, NC, NC. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 6 Missing her more than I have previously. Had a heart to heart with a mate on a park bench about the whole thing. I'm still very much in love with her. But a load of us are going out for dinner, then cinema, then drinks no doubt so at least I'll be kept busy all night. Tomorrow's a big milestone for me: a whole week of NC Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 well still no response..but im taking that as a response in itself..if he doesnt care enough to give me closure then forget him...time to move on...actually a good day today..i started to work out again this moring so soon ...he wont even be worht my time... just treat his no response like i did..if he really cared..he would let you go, or give you the response you really want..and he didnt so screw him I agree. A lack of response IS the response itself. I mean, seriously. Even if it only said - I got your email, and I do want to talk to you soon. I'll call you when I have more time. Or Something. Anything. I feel like if he can't even be bothered to give me the courtesy of a response, he wasn't the man I thought he was anyway. (Still hurts tho.) We'll stay strong together!! Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 That's exactly what I said in my email... "you don't owe me anything - explanation or otherwise." And i truly meant that. I did go on to express how i felt, mainly b/c i needed to get it out of my head, but i do feel like there were some points in there that would have at least gotten a reply. Oh well. I hope it starts to feel less painful soon. Like Many other posters today, I also had a dream about him last night. Very odd. He was at a function I didn't expect to see him at - with another woman. They were very close - sitting together with her legs on top of his, and he was holding her hand or rubbing her leg. I could barely stand to look at them. The look he gave me in the dream was completely blank. No expression of any kind - as if we didn't know each other at all. Ouch. Woke up in a very strange mood. Makes me feel a bit nauseous, honestly. I wonder if he has another woman already.... Day 3 Blah. Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 7 Just feel so confused over this man. I honestly thought that I would hear from him at some point this week, especially after the number of phone calls he made to get in touch with me. Of course the thought that runs through my head is that he's waiting to hear from me....it's probably me just trying to justify not hearing from him in my head. I want to call him, but I'm going to hold off on that idea and see how I feel next week...hopefully much stronger than I feel today. Going out with friends tonight and I'm looking forward to that. Enjoy hanging out with them and have a lot of laughs with them, but of course like everyone here....he's still there on my mind. Oh well, there are better days ahead for all of us. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I didn't even make it 2 days I called him like 10 times and when he picked up and heard my voice he hung up on me and I kept calling. I feel like a psycho I left him a voicemail saying sorry and blah blah blah. But why am I sorry when he is the one who ran to that girl the same night we broke up? I feel like and idiot. I have to start over. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Ok I'm joining the dazed and confused bandwagon. WTH? I just got some horrible news on my ex. I know I shouldn't torture myself like this but when a friend of mine tells me something I just keep digging. AHHHHHHHHHHH! A guy friend of his that always gossip and say these petty things... so one of my friends met him and was asking, so how are all the boys (she dated one of them and is friends with their little group), and he was like "oh, everyone is great, x is with z, and bla is with bla etc... and G is really happy because it was his 1 month anniversary with his new girl". I mean, WTH? Why say something like that to my best friend? To make matters worse, he was also like, "oh, and what about M? I heard she was taking it pretty hard with how things ended with her and G this time" and my friend was like "what? no she's fine, she's working and going to class and I think she's even seeing some other guy"... Honestly, I'm pretty upset that HIS friends are talking about me. Ugh, and my ex 1 month already? It doesn't make any sense with the timeline of the break-up. I'm seriously sad right now. And to make matters WORSE my lovely cousin who dates my ex's brother called me to go out with her tomorrow. I mean, ugh, great, now I'm going to have to hear MORE updates on his family take on all this. "But you guys were SO in love in the end of the year, but their mom is so confused and upset, she got you presents this xmas... P (dad) misses you so much... G is crazy, they are all really confused, etc..." Yeah, going to be great. Link to comment
wiley Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 22 or something?... I was feeling so good until tonight... My sister was telling me about my ex's status on facebook. She told me before I realized that I shouldn't be hearing it. She said her status said things like "my bf is the most charming perfect person ever" etc.. As soon as she told me this I instantly felt like crap!! Why did I have to listen! I just want to curl up and sleep. Sleep seems to help alot. Just another confirmation that she's never coming back. Word of advice people... Don't get too curious to how your ex is doing. It does more harm than good, 2 steps back. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 day three i think i got the response to my email he doesnt want a serious realtionship anymore and he wants to figure out what he wants in life.. im completely happy wiht that answer im not sad. im feeling great right now i can FINALLY move on =] Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Just realised my ex has untagged herself from ALL of our wedding photos on facebook... devastated! Probably did it a while ago but i've only just realised and its really hit me hard! and yet I still would do anything just to hold her one last time! how sad! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 guys, such a crappy day for all of us! wiley - gosh that's horrible that your ex would put a status like that on facebook... that's just childish!! and untagging the photos, well that i can understand a little more. Ugh, we should NOT be hearing about our exes!! Ash - I'm glad you got your reply!! I got something similar from my ex and 1 week later apparently he was commited to someone else! Love sucks! Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Ash - I'm glad you got your reply!! I got something similar from my ex and 1 week later apparently he was commited to someone else! Love sucks! well i believe him on this one.. i was always the one with the plan in life and he never had any clue what he wanted. even if he does rebound,,,i wont know becasue i deleted my myspace!! thank god for that!! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 yeah, I wouldn't worry, my ex "rebounded" because I dumped him and he wanted me back and I didn't want a serious relationship (just like your ex) but when he really moved on and met this girl I got all desperate and it made me realize I loved him (i know, yeah, great timing), so he basically dumped her for me but then dumped me saying he didn't want anything serious and went back to her. So it's not like it's the same story. You are strong for being able to let go!! I wish I could too! Link to comment
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