THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[wiley]

Day 11! A third of my 30 days gone.

 

It does get a bit better as each day goes by, I don't want to ruin it now by contacting her, even though I had an overwhelming urge to text her this morning asking how she was... but I didn't!

 

But yeah, it does seem to go soooo slow!!

 

Im still in love with her.

[SighSob]

Always feel down each night...as Id usually be talking to her. But now Im alone thinking about her and shes with her new guy not giving me the slightest thought.

 

*sigh*

 

Day 5 has just started.

 

I feel you. To spend the nights alone thinking about her and her new guy sucks big time...luckily it gets better with time.

[brazilgirl21]

Day 4 just started... feels like SO much more. Specially because the last time we "talked" was through e-mail and I was very upset with him. Ugh, it seems like SO much more than 4 days. I feel better though... Definetly better than I did in Day 1.

[lauramed]

Day 16 for me. Had gone almost 5 weeks of NC and then ran into him. He went out of his way to make sure that I had to talk to him. Wish he hadn't done that because he put me right back at square one. This morning was a tough one. He was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up. I feel such a need to talk to him, so I don't take it day by day, but minute by minute at this point.

[ad13]

day 4... i broke NC, I had to call her b/c of sum urgent financial matter...

NC restarts from today!!!

[Sunkist09]

I broke NC last night with an email. I am starting over.... Day 1

[looking4ward]

Had an overwhemling urge to call the ex this morning to discuss some finances- but the issue can wait a bit before being addressed (he is aware and knows what needs to happen on his end, I'm just concerned b/c I don't want to prolong things).

 

Didn't call! yay!

 

Starting day 5.

[Sunkist09]

Can someone explain how someone can go from loving you one day to realizing that you're not meant to be with them because of a stupid arugment? I don't get it...we were going so well, so in love, so imtimate, and then I argue with him and he went and told his family and he's breaking up with me for himself, his sister, his friends, his family? I don't understand?

[brazilgirl21]

Good question.

 

I'm asking myself how can one go from:

 

(weekend on the beach, beautiful sunny day with all his family)

 

kissing on the stones, everything is perfect.

 

the ex: "wow, this is so different, this feeling... it's love" (reconcilling after a 2.5 years relationship, after casually dating another girl)

 

one month later:

 

"oh, I figure I didn't love you". (back to seeing the girl)

 

really? beats me.

[lauramed]

I ask myself the same thing. How did everything change in one day. Then to go through 6 months of LC, with him initiating the majority of the time, and then nothing. Just like he disappeared. Always wondering if he misses me evern just a little bit. It's tough!!

[danger]

okay, i've been avoiding posting, but reading what everyone else is saying i just have to get in on this. this is my second day of no contact. she broke up with me at the end of december. i'll try to make this brief. we had an ldr, opposite coasts. i met her a year and a half ago, started a committed relationship about 6 months in (both of us very reluctant as we are for the most part realists, but we both just fell head over heels) okay, anyways fast forward to now, as soon as she made the break, i did all the usual depressed pleading with her which just pushed her away, no surprise. then after about two weeks, decreasing the contact on my end, she starts talking to me like she used to. she mentions how maybe someday we might be together, and then out of nowhere she says she loves me, and misses me. so we both got emotional, and things were looking good. we started talking frequently for the next few days, which clouded my judgement, as i got kinda clingy, and would text her multiple times when she wouldnt reply, which then pushed her away again. i realized this, and went no contact for a few days. last week, after a whole day of no contact, she texted me at night saying "i miss you baby" and that she was thinking about me, and stupid me, i reply right away. i realized my mistake, and started no contact again yesterday. i have to point out though, the night when she said she still loved me, i told her that i've been trying to avoid her, she got quiet and said she had to go, i asked what was wrong and she said "you were trying to avoid me?", and i could hear her getting choked up. and throughout the entire time i've known her, she's always made it clear that it's the guy's place to go after the girl. so i dont know, is absolute no contact good in this situation? it seems every time i think she's completely moved on, she somehow comes back to show her love for me. maybe i'm just always thinking the worst possible scenario when i think of what she's doing.

[Ixtapa]

Very hard today as one of his best friends (and a friend of mine too) called me from the foreign country they both live in and we had a chat. Talking to her was actually really nice....but brought back all the memories of the times we spent together.

 

Anyway, I was crying tonight. Hopefully I will start feeling better really soon. I am tired of feeling bad. I am tired of having the false hope that he will come back to his senses and call me (and apologize, and, and, and).

 

Life is hard....

[parlae]

ok, today is the ex's birthday

i broke down and texted him only to say happy birthday. he replied saying "thank you", i told him you're welcome... and that was it.

nothing serious. but it still made me feel great, considering i was expecting no response.

 

but does this mean i have to start back at day 1??? ugh.... ](*,)

 

Day 16 for me. Had gone almost 5 weeks of NC and then ran into him. He went out of his way to make sure that I had to talk to him. Wish he hadn't done that because he put me right back at square one. This morning was a tough one. He was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up. I feel such a need to talk to him, so I don't take it day by day, but minute by minute at this point.

wow, lauramed.

how did that go? was it a friendly conversation?

[lauramed]

Hi parlae,

 

I just kept things light when I talked to him. My car broke down and had to be towed....where he works. A male friend of mine brought me to get the car and the ex went out of his way to talk to me. So I kept the conversation light, only talked for a few minutes and then said goodbye and drove away. That was a tough day because it made me miss him that much more. Have wanted to call him every day since, but I'm staying strong.

[GetMeBack]

ok, today is the ex's birthday

i broke down and texted him only to say happy birthday. he replied saying "thank you", i told him you're welcome... and that was it.

nothing serious. but it still made me feel great, considering i was expecting no response.

 

but does this mean i have to start back at day 1??? ugh.... ](*,)

 

 

wow, lauramed.

how did that go? was it a friendly conversation?

 

Yes Parlae, you have to start all over again now..did it really make you feel better, just " thank you"? x

[Sunkist09]

That's funny, we all started over today! hahaa... Okay, it'll be interesting to see who can finish the challenge first.

[Sunkist09]

Interesting Article on why men leaves their ladies....

 

How would you like it if I revealed to you a secret that the vast

majority of men who've initiated a breakup have admitted is the reason

why they did it? Well, keep reading because that's just what I'm

about to do.

When asked by therapists why they broke it off with their ex-lovers,

the overwhelming majority of men all had the same explanation, and

that answer is important to consider if you intend to get your

ex-boyfriend or husband back. In fact, if you don't address it at all

you'll find that any successful attempt to reconcile may only be

temporary..

Ready to hear their answer? Ok, here it is: the bulk of men who left

their relationships said that their reason for doing so was...

"No matter what I did, I just couldn't make her happy anymore."

When you think about it, this is a pretty powerful insight. They just

couldn't make her happy anymore...you see, that's pretty much the only

thing a man really needs in order to be happy with the one he's with,

and stick it out through tough times: to be secure in the knowledge

that he makes her happy.

So what went wrong, that he thought he couldn't make you happy

anymore? Well, unfortunately...that's kind of your fault. Somehow,

you stopped showing him how happy he made you. What's more, if you're

going to get him back you're going to have to start by showing him

just how happy he DOES make you.

[brazilgirl21]

End of Day 4, feeling SAD. I'm going out tonight and MIGHT see him because I know some of his friends are going to the same party but that just makes me feel anxious. I hope I had no expectation that he would be there, because he probably will avoid it and it will make me feel bad. I'm determined to keep NC but the more I do, the more I think he won't contact me either.

 

I feel like crying. I think about last month when I almost had him again and blew it because was SO insecure and jealous. I just feel bad today.

 

I wish I didn't have hopes that he would be at the party because then I might have a better chance of enjoying, meeting someone else. Knowing there's a chance he will be there will only make me feel horrible when I see his friends and he's not there. =[

[TLguy]

End of day 5. A day of inconsistancy. Some times when with my mates Id be happier and jolly then usual...then a single thought of her and I crash down and get depressed. Im sort of semi-depressed atm.

 

I just really miss her...and the fact she hasnt tried to contact me makes me feel worse and unloved.

[parlae]

Yes Parlae, you have to start all over again now..did it really make you feel better, just " thank you"? x

yes, getmeback, it did make me feel better.

considering i havent heard from him since january 26th.

a simple little response such as "thank you", did make my day.

i'm sorry if that's hard to understand. but it's a step up from being ignored.

but since i "broke" a rule..i'll start over.

 

honestly though, i'm starting to reconsider this challenge.

i have no intentions on continuing to contact him, but i just think that constantly counting each day is making it seem like the days go by slower.

anyone else feel that way?

 

[brazilgirl21]

parlae - I hear ya!

 

I went out tonight and my ex didn't show up. His two single friends did, which means he was probably with the other girl somewhere. I'm starting Day 5 and it seems like it's going VERY slow. I did 10 days already, without the challenge, and it felt faster. Ugh, I feel like breaking NC soon... I feel like if I just disappear he will fall for the other girl, and if I do contact him in about 10 days, I might bring him back to his confused state of maybe loving me?? This is such a HARD challenge!

[parlae]

parlae - I hear ya!

 

I went out tonight and my ex didn't show up. His two single friends did, which means he was probably with the other girl somewhere. I'm starting Day 5 and it seems like it's going VERY slow. I did 10 days already, without the challenge, and it felt faster. Ugh, I feel like breaking NC soon... I feel like if I just disappear he will fall for the other girl, and if I do contact him in about 10 days, I might bring him back to his confused state of maybe loving me?? This is such a HARD challenge!

thanks, glad to know someone agrees with me. lol.

i'm not sure if i'm gonna stick with this challenge.

i am starting to think maybe it would be easier to do it on my own. so i wont be constantly thinking "what day is it" (about the challenge), ya know?

 

and i'm sorry to hear that your ex didnt show up tonight.

i'm sure you were probably "secretly" hoping he'd come, right?

 

and i totally agree with you.

i have thought before, "maybe if i contact him in a couple weeks, i'll be on his mind and he'll reconsider"...

 

trust me, i know how ya feel on that one!

[and again]

day13 nc yesterday, on whole not to bad, bit ed up that a lot of my friends are all of a suden getting partners, and thinking how happy i was. but u cant make some one come back to you. Read quite a bit about borderline personality disorder, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Quite likely she may have it,as everyone always told me she had issues, and that was before her last ex messed with her head. Wish she would have let me in more to help her sort it. Alwys said to her it would take a while for her to be secure, but she ran, because??? All in all 5 out of 10

 

Ps any one reading this have a listen to THIRTY SECONDS FROM MARS THE KILL, makes a lot of sense. What do you think?

[brazilgirl21]

Start of DAY 5... I feel very depressed. I broke up with my ex 1 year ago. Although we were together and one step from getting back just last month, it still feels like this is over for good and he is moving on with someone else.

 

I'm more heartbroken than ever. I put too much energy the past 6 months to get him back and I just failed... when I was SO close. I keep thinking about how I could have acted differently.

 

I don't feel like going out today. I'm always imagining where he might be, etc... It feels like this emptyness will never go away.

[SighSob]

Nah, it will go away sooner than you think...just don't sit in your room alone tonight wondering what he's up to cause it will only make the healing slower.

 

Tonight I'm going out with friends - including a nice girl who fancies me - then at 1.30 AM I'll head to a techno party out of town. Screw my ex! I'm going to HAVE FUN tonight!