THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[thedude27]

1) Ignore her.

2) Have someone drop the stupid thing off at her house.

3) Leave it at her house when you know she isnt home(if she works or something).

 

 

I'd get the rabbit out of there too, who know's she'll probably sneak into your house and cook it for you ala "Fatal Attraction".

 

 

Here you'll get a kick out of this...lol

 

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She might go full blown "Rabbit Roaster" on you:

 

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[challenge]

Today is better then the days before. It's hard, but getting easier to get through the day without thinking too much about missing her. When I'm alone I can't get her out of my head, but that's natural after a breakup. I read some other threads on this site that helped me alot. The most helpful idea is to break up with the ex in your mind. It's hard to do, because I know it's fake, and hearing from her would bring it down immediately, but it helps get through the day. I think that if I can get to the point that I wouldn't want her back, I'll be ready to speak to her again. Even though I want to spend my life with her, why should I have to convince her I'm worth it? But just in case I'll work on myself to make sure I am, for myself.

I think that if we ever got back together I would probably resent her, unless she apologized profusely. Which I doubt.

must let go, dammit.

[unsurescot]

Oops, forgot to post last night. Woke up with same "off" feeling in the morning....think that's just something that's gonna continue for awhile and then hopefully fade. Work was fine, my ex came up at one point to speak to a colleague....just kept my eyes on the computer screen....heart flipped a bit, not too bad though. Got a bit teary on the walk home but put my iPod up full blast and it distracted me ;-) The rest of the night went fine, I haven't felt the urge to text her yet.....any time I think of just jacking in NC and saying to hell with it lets be friends so we can at least be in contact.....I think to myself how would I feel if I texted and she didn't reply for awhile or if she spoke about going out at the weekend......typical friend behaviour......I know it would upset me because it's her. Hence why I'm sticking to NC til I feel stronger. If she isn't around when I'm finished with NC then she obviously doesn't really want to be friends. This all sounds logical and I hope I will stick to it.........but it's so hard

[thedude27]

Day 15/16

 

Yesterday was an average day. Thought about her but nothing upsetting/etc.

 

 

Woke up pretty upset today. Layed in bed for a bit thinking about things and what I would say to her. Had a pretty significant thought at the end of it, if I get time I may post about it. I'll probaby jounrnal my thoughts from this am so I dont forget them. I'm sure the day will get better once I get working.

[Robert013]

Day 7

 

Thanks thedude27 she might just be a bunny boiler. lol. I did ignore her and have chose not to do anything. She doesn't need the air mattress that bad. It is just another reason for her to make me contact her. It is not worth it to possibly break no contact or something worse.

 

She sent me another text message last night. This one said " I am not trying to force you to contact me. I just need you to tell me the answers to the questions I asked earlier." I ignored it of course. When you disect the message it contradicts itself. She is not forcing me to contact her, but I have to give her the answers. There is no way for me to possibly give her the answers without some form of contact with her.

 

All of her messages are the same rude and selfish. It is always about her. I need . I want . Then she will say something mean to me most of the time. Even when I am kind and compasionate.

 

Being angry, mean, and rude to an ex does not prove that you are over them. When you can truly wish them the best, truly hope that they are happy, and there actions have no effect on your emotional wellbeing that is when you are over them. I can't wait.

[dqueen]

I have not posted on Enotalone in MONTHS and am back here now. Yeah, you can guess where I was. :sad:

 

Day 1:

 

Today, I can't breathe. I'm hoping that I will find the courage within me to stay in NC forever this time. The reason I'm posting here is so that I will feel motivated to stick to NC and not give in to responding to him. I NEED to do this...for myself, my sanity and my health. Please...anyone reading this give me a little push or nudge I need to jump on the NC train. I cannot fail this time. God help me!!!!!!!!!

[needs]

I have not posted on Enotalone in MONTHS and am back here now. Yeah, you can guess where I was. :sad:

 

Day 1:

 

Today, I can't breathe. I'm hoping that I will find the courage within me to stay in NC forever this time. The reason I'm posting here is so that I will feel motivated to stick to NC and not give in to responding to him. I NEED to do this...for myself, my sanity and my health. Please...anyone reading this give me a little push or nudge I need to jump on the NC train. I cannot fail this time. God help me!!!!!!!!!

 

 

You HAVE to do it and so do I. I just got sucked into it last week. She led me on to make me believe that we have a possibility to get back but then changed her mind this week! I'm an absolute mess and after 2 months NC its now down the drain.

 

I can't breather today either, its like it hurts all over again but worse. I'm with you, im feeling the same way...never again. if he contacts you post it here and DO NOT respond!

[challenge]

feel empty. cry throughout every day going on two months now. can't believe she could do this to me, never, ever thought she would. As time is going by the reality is starting to set in. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

 

I took her for granted. Didn't commit enough. Didn't work hard enough at my career, got complacent in the relationship. I got what I deserved; I haven't earned happiness.

[babes23]

Day 1

 

This as got to be it for me this time, this all for me is what nc is intended for, my self healing. I missed my ex for the person he used to be, not the person he is now. I've let go. It's for real this time. Good luck everyone and to all those in doubt, nc is really the way forward, keep it going.

[onemanband]

Day 9

 

This week was TOUGH!

 

didn't expect a call for my birthday, but to be honest I was disappointed when I heard nothing at all from her. It actually hurt a lot.

 

She's made it clear that she wants to open up communication when she heals ("I'll reach out to you when I'm ready"), but still.

 

Oh well. Keep moving forward I guess.

[Venomite]

Day 7

I've been getting a lot better about this. I haven't been thinking about her quite so much, and I've been able to hang out with my friends a little bit more. But today I got some news that seemed to push me back a few steps. I know that it's probably nothing, and that I'm jumping to conclusions, but the knot in my stomach makes it really hard not to think that way. I heard from a friend that her MSN name states that she can't seem to wipe the smile off her face, and I was also told that there is some new guy who is constantly posting on her facebook wall. (These could possibly be unrelated, but that's besides the point right now). It just destroys me to think of her with some other guy, even 7 weeks after the breakup. I really wanna let go, but I can't. I even felt good about it until I heard that news today.

[dqueen]

Day 2

 

I am dead. I am numb and paralyzed. I am a living corpse who is still able to breathe but barely, still able to move but barely, still able to feel the emotions but feel empty. The injustice and cruelty done to me has consumed everything that I am. I am pale like a ghost, walking through walls and through things going around and around in circles leading to no where. Round and round and round I go...what will become of me I do not know.

[babes23]

Day 2

 

I am dead. I am numb and paralyzed. I am a living corpse who is still able to breathe but barely, still able to move but barely, still able to feel the emotions but feel empty. The injustice and cruelty done to me has consumed everything that I am. I am pale like a ghost, walking through walls and through things going around and around in circles leading to no where. Round and round and round I go...what will become of me I do not know.

 

Aww hun, things will get better and you must hold onto that hope to get through this. Little steps and you will get there xx

 

Still on Day 1 for me, although just an hour to go and it will be Day 2, i'm going to keep strong, i don't want to contact him anymore.

[GoldenHillGuy]

Aww hun, things will get better and you must hold onto that hope to get through this. Little steps and you will get there xx

 

Still on Day 1 for me, although just an hour to go and it will be Day 2, i'm going to keep strong, i don't want to contact him anymore.

 

Good job Babes! I've read your struggles with NC. Wishing you strength!

[babes23]

Good job Babes! I've read your struggles with NC. Wishing you strength!

 

Thank you hun xxx

 

NC is the way forward xx

[extraextra]

Day 1

On thanksgiving would be two years. She broke up with me for the second time for similar reasons as the last one. We made the mistake of keeping in contact last time, and then gotten back together after she made a big mistake. Then we just continued the old relationship instead of starting a new one.

 

So I made the classic mistakes for about 2 weeks, nothing too big really, but they were still unwanted.

 

Immediately after she decided to break up, she found a new guy. We got into an argument two weeks ago (first ever), but not about him. Rather about the past relationship. The truth came out, and we decided to stay in friendly terms.

 

I kept the charade going for a while with super light contact, a text here and there, and we agreed to be penpals.

 

I felt it was not entirely appreciated.

 

I realized yesterday that what she wanted from the first place was space, and what I needed from the beginning was space.

 

So here we go. I told her yesterday that I felt no contact at all was best for me. She said that is all she really wanted from the beggining. Now it is time to be true to my word.

[babes23]

Day 2

 

I can't get it out of my head that he's got someone new, weird as he's told me over and over again that he hasn't and i think he's the kind of guy who would have told me so if he was. What does it matter anyway eh? IT'S OVER!!! Being in that relationship wasn't doing any of my wellbeing any good whatsoever, he changed to a person who i could hardly identify with. It's been 2 weeks tomorrow that we split up and last contact Friday so i've not done so bad really. Just gotta plod along with the nc now until i make it.

[cas]

Day 2

 

I can't get it out of my head that he's got someone new, weird as he's told me over and over again that he hasn't and i think he's the kind of guy who would have told me so if he was. What does it matter anyway eh? IT'S OVER!!! Being in that relationship wasn't doing any of my wellbeing any good whatsoever, he changed to a person who i could hardly identify with. It's been 2 weeks tomorrow that we split up and last contact Friday so i've not done so bad really. Just gotta plod along with the nc now until i make it.

 

Well, it's probably just a rebound. But you're right, it doesn't matter. I guess it only determines that you have to move on.

[babes23]

Well, it's probably just a rebound. But you're right, it doesn't matter. I guess it only determines that you have to move on.

 

Yep definitely. Think this No Contact is going to be the best thing which i could ever do for myself. I was a nice gf but got treated like s*it. I tried and gave it all i got, his loss not mine. At least i know i've got what it takes to be in a adult relationship, he hasn't.

 

How are you doing cas?

[unsurescot]

Work on friday, no sign of my ex. Then went away for the weekend, visited some friends in the city I used to live in. It wasn't the complete distraction I had hoped for but it was good to see them and have a change of scenery. Missed her like mad yesterday morning, last night and today but resisted the urge to contact her. Spoke to my friend about maybe asking my ex to chat and see if I could get some closure, she wasn't really sure.....I'm not convinced either, guess I just wanted some form of contact Gonna persevere though.

[cas]

I'm doing fine - I'm on my 6th day of NC. I've begun to realize that she's not the one, and there are other fish in the sea. But I think right now I just want to focus on my own life, and try to enjoy being single..

[babes23]

I'm doing fine - I'm on my 6th day of NC. I've begun to realize that she's not the one, and there are other fish in the sea. But I think right now I just want to focus on my own life, and try to enjoy being single..

 

Well done you, that's exactly the right way to look at it. I doubt my ex is thinking about me, thereforee i'm not going to bother about him. I gave him too much head space in the past, thereforee in the present it's going to be all about me

[cas]

Well done you, that's exactly the right way to look at it. I doubt my ex is thinking about me, thereforee i'm not going to bother about him. I gave him too much in the past, thereforee in the present it's going to be all about me

 

Hehe, that sounds reasonable. I hope you'll begin to heal soon!

 

Hugs..

[fiffy]

Hi There,

 

I just wanted to say thank you to

 

FRANFRAN

 

CAS

 

CRAIGIEBABE

 

ENCHANTED771

 

I just read all your posts following mine and it was so nice to get support.

 

I stopped coming on here because previously noone answered me.

 

I have called my ex today and it just ended up in fighting. He hates me and says my patheticness of calling him makes me repulsive like a little girl.

 

I feel so bad he hates me. He was the one who cheated and ended the relationship but because of my inability to let go I have become the bad person.

 

We split 6 months ago but continued to see each other everyday for a month.

 

I moved away five months ago then he never kept any promises of seeing me.

 

We were meant to be having space but I could not stop calling him.

 

I ruined every chance of reconcilliation.

 

Plus he has shot my self esteem. Everytime I have called he just says he never loved me and was never attracted to me. He said I was fat and unattractive. He said having sex with me was repulsive. Yet he still keeps my picture up on facebook with him since I'm twelve years younger and have long blonde hair so I can't be that repulsive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I can't believe we had just begun to try for a baby and now he hates me.

 

Deep down I miss him and want him back. Its killing me.

 

I know now I look so desperate to him he would never want anything to do with me.

 

Why is no contact so hard?

 

7 days is the most I have ever done.

 

I feel my inability to do it is crazy. I am starting to wonder after six months of being in the same position I am mentally ill.

 

Has anyone else struggled this long????????

[atlanticstar]

Fiffy

 

NC is desperately hard. It's a bit like a long gym workout when you're totally out of shape. But the more you persevere the easier it gets and the stronger you become.

 

Six months is a long time for this to be continuing. But then if he is contacting you that certainly isn't helping matters. You have to force yourself to stop communicating with him now and I'd look at closing down all communication avenues. Change your phone number(s), block his email address and remove him from anything such as facebook, IM etc. This has gone on long enough for you. It's time to move on, heal and look forward to the future.

 

His nasty comments are nothing short of spiteful. He is no doubt getting a buzz out of it and that cannot continue. I'm sure you're a beautiful person and being 12 years younger than him he should have been flattered he was even with you (I know I would have been). If sex was so bad and you weren't attractive, what the hell was he doing with you?

 

You're really not the bad person for not being able to let go and you shouldn't think like that. You just need to accept that communication must now CEASE. From the basic facts you've posted why on earth would you even want this negative/nasty person back in your life?

 

You say you've ruined any change of reconciliation but lets be honest here, after someone has cheated and insulted you (repeatedly) why the hell would you want that uncertainty and doubt back in your life anyway?

 

Wouldn't you be happier with someone who will love you, honour you, respect you and hold your hand whilst walking down the street or would you rather hold on to someone who is nasty, disrespectful and selfish. I think I'll leave you to answer that!

 

Don’t blame yourself and count your lucky stars you got out when you did.