hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I want to call and ask if he wants to go to dinner!!! Should I be in the reconciliation forum instead of this one? why do you want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you? Do you think asking him to dinner will magically change his mind about you or do you think he wants to be wtih someone who has enough self respect to say.. you know what.. if u dont wnat me .. fine. I know i can find someone better.. who WILL want to be with you.. There are way too many people out there to chase after someone who doesnt want to be with u.. 1 Link to comment
cas Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 tell her u had other plans.. and if she asks what they are.. tell her to stop being nosey and its not her business she lost the right to know what ur doing when she broke up with u Well, she probably won't anyway. I'm feeling very depressing, as she's out there having fun, while I'm stuck here at home. I so badly want to text her, even though I have no idea what to write. I hate this!!! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Well, she probably won't anyway. I'm feeling very depressing, as she's out there having fun, while I'm stuck here at home. I so badly want to text her, even though I have no idea what to write. I hate this!!! Why do you want somoene who doesnt want YOU! Think about it.. let it really sink in.. she doesnt want you.. If she did she would be with you.. instead of focusing all of this energy on her focus it on something else.. try and figure another skill out.. Link to comment
cas Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 But I guess I'm just curious if she has changed her mind, as we haven't talked about the relationship for 3 weeks. I have to stop thinking about this. I'm so glad it's friday tomorrow. I'm going to get really, really drunk!! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 But I guess I'm just curious if she has changed her mind, as we haven't talked about the relationship for 3 weeks. I have to stop thinking about this. I'm so glad it's friday tomorrow. I'm going to get really, really drunk!! ok .. let me ask you this question.. You wrote her a letter that todl her you loved her and wanted her back correct? Now.. if she truly wanted you back dont you think she knows that and would contact you and tell you that? I know if i wanted someone who wanted me.. I would let them know.. Stop thinkin about getting back together you are torturing yourself.. i say that from experience man.. I have been going what you have been except I have decided to let go.. I love myself more then I love her.. and I would rather be happy now.. then be miserable and wanting her back.. Link to comment
wanderingjem Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 14 Today is my second week into NC and have been broken up for nearly two months now. I had this sudden urge to give him a call today but managed to talk myself out of it. A lot of people have posted that if he wanted to contact you, they know how to reach you. I thought about this statement, and I have a feeling that he'll never contact me. He's one of those guys who doesn't like to chat on the phone or email much. I'm not gonna lie, I do miss him and want to get back together. Link to comment
cas Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Yes and yes. But I guess I won't stop thinking about getting back together until I get the next 'No' from her, because I'm wondering if the NC has made her miss me. I really am torturing myself - I'm not healing with the state of mind I'm at, at the moment. I have to learn to let go.. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 why do you want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you? Do you think asking him to dinner will magically change his mind about you or do you think he wants to be wtih someone who has enough self respect to say.. you know what.. if u dont wnat me .. fine. I know i can find someone better.. who WILL want to be with you.. There are way too many people out there to chase after someone who doesnt want to be with u.. You know exactly why someone wants to get back together after a breakup. You have had the same thing happen to you. You've posted the same things I've posted. A lot of us would like to get back with our exes. Why are you being a jerk? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 You know exactly why someone wants to get back together after a breakup. You have had the same thing happen to you. You've posted the same things I've posted. A lot of us would like to get back with our exes. Why are you being a jerk? You know why yo uwant to get back together? because your in pain and you want a quick fix. you have two ways to relieve this pain.. You can do it temporarily and get back together with your ex.. only to go through it all over again.. OR you can actually heal and grow from this and find someone better. because.. I am tryin to help you move on and let go... This is what I have finally done and realized.. and I cant tell you how much better I feel.. I understand your pain and heartache.. but it took someone from an outside perspective to really show me how it is.. Take of your rose colored glasses and see things for how they are.. Link to comment
Thalor Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 He's one of those guys who doesn't like to chat on the phone or email much. Yet if he really truly wants to be with you he'll get over it. Do you really want to be someone who can't communicate their true feelings to you? Why should you have to initiate the contact? Link to comment
hurtandused Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 You know why yo uwant to get back together? because your in pain and you want a quick fix. you have two ways to relieve this pain.. You can do it temporarily and get back together with your ex.. only to go through it all over again.. OR you can actually heal and grow from this and find someone better. because.. I am tryin to help you move on and let go... This is what I have finally done and realized.. and I cant tell you how much better I feel.. I understand your pain and heartache.. but it took someone from an outside perspective to really show me how it is.. Take of your rose colored glasses and see things for how they are.. when ur hurtin rose colored glasses are the only glasses that fit, Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Digital Diva, hulk is trying to help, not being a jerk. If he wanted you, he'd contact you, he was the one who finished it, right? How long have you been in nc? Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 when ur hurtin rose colored glasses are the only glasses that fit, Perhaps, but sometimes you have to see beyond that and see things for what they really are, a reality check maybe. Link to comment
homeagain Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 i'm taking the total nc challenge. i haven't spoken to my ex since early in the week (and i'm not counting days any more!).... but now i'm totally serious about it. i finally REALLY did it... he's blocked from fb, every im service, and i deleted him from my phone. before, when i did the nc, i peeked at his online stuff. i'm done with that, though. i need to get over it for me and watching his messages just makes me feel worse. every moment he isn't online, i imagined him partying and having sex with super models. every moment he was online, i hated him for not bothering to talk to me. too much drama when we didn't even have contact! superdave... this one's for me, but dedicated to you (because it's your idea). from this moment forward, i will have no contact with my ex, not even virtual peeking. thank you to all of you faceless friends who have listened to my most personal and intense feelings at a time when i felt the lowest. your advice, your stories, your wisdom, and your concern have helped me more than you know. Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Good luck homeagain, put your mind to it and you can do anthing. Day 4 NC for me today, so i got through that dreaded Day 3 . I'm okay today, need to be don't i, he wasn't happy and i wasn't happy, it's best we went our separate ways. I did my best and i'm proud of myself for that. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts, but i never expected nc to be an easy ride, just gotta plod along. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Day 12 for me Things are getting better and better. I am really trying to work on faults I realize I have.. Like my social skills, I have never been the best at talking to girls.. most of the time.. girls will either come up to me or ill just get lucky and they will fall in my lap.. Well I have decided I need to be more picky in who I choose.. So last night as i was walkin to the gym, I saw this girl(ive seen her in the gym many times before), I decided I am going to talk to her.. I said Hi how are you.. I cant believe talked to her.. thats very out of character for me... Im usually pretty shy and reserved.. Well it turns out this beautiful girl i was talking too.. is a freaking doctor.. she is in her residency here.. I was taken back.. I finally realized there are better people out there for me other then my ex.. I mean this women is beautiful and has a great career.. I cant wait to know more about her.. the next time I see her at the gym I will ask for her number .. I hope she doesnt havea bf.. haha.. Oh well I gues smy point is.. when you take those "rose colored glasses off" you start to understand your EX isnt the only person out there for you.. there are many people that fill that gaping hole in your heart. When you start to understand this I promise you, you will be better off.. oh and happy halloween everyone Link to comment
Robert013 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Day 7 Well tonight is going to be a challenge. I am going to a Halloween party at what used to be our favorite bar with a bunch of friends. I have heard last night from friends that she is going to be there with her new fling. I am going anyway. I am going to not drink much and keep my distance. I will not try to talk to her ar even get close to her. I have asked all of the people I am going with to support me on this. I will not confront her new rebound like I have done once already, and I will act normal like she does not affect me anymore. I am not going to let her control my life anymore. I am not going to miss out on enjoying myself on Halloween just because she might be somewhere. I am an adult I am going through this on my own with the help of friends of course I can do this. I am strong. I will not give her the satisfaction. Wish me luck all. She on the other hand has lied to and manipulated me ever since the breakup. She has alienated all of her old friends besides one or two. She has even called her bestfriends husband a stupid idiot because he does not like her new rebound. He did not like him before we broke up. She is not doing this on her own and is using a bandaid (rebound guy) to hide behind. She is weak. Link to comment
Robert013 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 She just text messaged me. She wants me to email her pictures of my son in his halloween costume. What in the hell! We break up she starts screwing another dude in less than a week and lies about it for 6 weeks. Tells me to kill myself in a text message last week. I mean really now. We broke up that means you also broke up with my son. You do not get the best of both worlds. She has her cake and wants to eat it to. **** no. This one is easy to ignore. Link to comment
Thalor Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I feel good right now but I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out tonight. I know she is going to go out to a dance club and plans on getting wasted. I've seen her costume and I know she will get a lot of attention with it. I want to scream. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I feel good right now but I'm not sure how I'm going to hold out tonight. I know she is going to go out to a dance club and plans on getting wasted. I've seen her costume and I know she will get a lot of attention with it. I want to scream. dont worry about too much. a lot of women are going to wearing some really * * * * ty outfits..LOL Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Digital Diva, hulk is trying to help, not being a jerk. If he wanted you, he'd contact you, he was the one who finished it, right? How long have you been in nc? We had 9 days of NC then, he contacted me on Tuesday after the funeral (his friend died in a horrific accident). I called him back on Wednesday. He hasn't me called back and I'm not going to call him. So, we've been in NC now for 2 days now. Man, you guys really put the screws to me. I would feel so guilty if I just called in out of the blue. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 We had 9 days of NC then, he contacted me on Tuesday after the funeral (his friend died in a horrific accident). I called him back on Wednesday. He hasn't me called back and I'm not going to call him. So, we've been in NC now for 2 days now. Man, you guys really put the screws to me. I would feel so guilty if I just called in out of the blue. thats a good thing then glad i could help LOL I did something really out of character for me yesterday.. there is this girl at my gym.. really good looking.. and i went up and talked to her.. just chit chated for a min. i found out she was a doctor.. so she is beautiful and has a great career.. makes my ex not look so great anymore... Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Day 2 of NC I come to enotalone as well as link removed to write down all of my emotions daily. So many times when we get into a new course of life we forget. I don't want to go through this again. There were many red flags and I completely ignored them. My emotions change every few minutes. One second I'm upset with him, the next myself, then I want to get back together, then I don't.... I'm writing down every emotion and making sure I'm also not lying to myself about anything. Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Don't worry digitaldiva we're all feeling like that at the minute and i wouldn't wish it on anyone!!! Well done on the 2 days, we can do this xx Link to comment
franfran Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I just stumbled upon this site a few days ago and have been drinking it in. Everything that everyone has shared has helped me so much with my break-up. I haven't shared my story, I think other people have it worse than I do, but I am interested in starting this NC challenge. My dearest best friend of 4 years and boyfriend of 2 years just told me that he "doesn't love me anymore" 11 days ago out of absolutely nowhere (he told me I was the love of his life everyday!) and now will not speak to me.. Obviously I am completely crushed. I have no idea what happened. I've gone NC for 8 days already, but each day gets harder and harder without him. So I need this support group to keep going. Thanks everyone Here we go. Link to comment
Recommended Posts