THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[hulk7280]

day 2 of NC for me.. was a intresting one.. she emailed me and text me today.. but i was good NC baby! so funny how someone could tell u basically they dont love you and dont think they can.. yet they keep trying to contact you? i explicetly said if we break up please dont contact me.. we cant be friends, yet for her own selfish reasons she wants to remain in contact. Oh well, i bet she is thinking that im the one who doesnt give a damn now..

[bepositive]

Well, I guess it's time for me to move over to the "getting over it" forum. My story has been up before, but I had broken up with my ex because I wasn't sure I wanted children, and it was her big dream. A month later, a friend set her up with someone back where she wants to move to, and when I found out, I realized what I had lost and proposed. She almost came back, but decided to stick with the new guy. We went through NC, then LC, and since there was no emotional content to our e-mails, I decided to tell her that I still miss her. Long story short, she's fully moved on to life with the new guy, even though it had all the signs of a rebound. She's also just found out that she's too old to have children, and the new guy is prepared to go through in vitro, adoption, or whatever it takes, which I was willing to do, to. So, I'm back to day 1. I love her so much, and can't believe she was all mine to lose. I'm happy that she has a chance at the life she wants, just sad that it's not with me. She was a treasure, and I didn't realize it until too late. I can't imagine doing some of the things I want to do without her.

 

I love you, T, I love you so much, and I always will. Best of everything in the future.

 

BP

[bepositive]

i feel crap at the moment too, and i tried to go out last week and meet women. i did meet a couple, but just felt worse because all the thoughts of the ex came rushing back. i thought it would be good for my self confidence if i met women, but it had the reverse effect and made me feel worse

 

I know the feeling exactly, atelis.

 

BP

[bepositive]

I miss you so much, T...

[lockedout]

Day 2 for Dave's Challenge, but actually day 10 NC!

 

That's tough "bepositive", hang in there!

 

Really been replaying everything over and over again, about our breakup! Not good! Keep wishing she would call, but would we even find common ground to start over again? Working Midnight shifts in a very boring place, doesn't help any either! lol

[DavidWRosario]

Day 5 for the umtieith time

 

I have decided to complete this thing if it kills me. it might. I have a lc/nc thing going on because of kids. I think I have figured out all her games. One of the reasons I had not been able to complete this before was that she kept drawing me back in when I strayed to far. She wants to be left alone, so be it.

 

I am moving on, first things first, get through this challenge. Woke up early this morning and walked 4 miles, gonna lose some weight, get in better shape and pick up some new hobbies.

 

I have been mourning this crap for 5 months and I am done with it. I can not believe I wanted to be with someone who is mad at me for trying to make something of myself.

 

Its funny she is on a few sites I am on that are like reunion sites and she is already trolling for a "serious relationship" - funny thing is that no matter what happens in that relationship - she will still be there and still be unhappy cause she is there.

 

Life will be great

[DavidWRosario]

Been there - Done that

 

The time away from her is time to work on yourself. Work on healing. Work on Peace. I have been up and down this mountain so many times i am sick of it. I just want me back.

 

I got lost in a 20 year relationship and was told it was a lie. Its been 5 months and with this site and good friends, I have finally found a starting point. I cant say it will be a perfect journey or even a great one. I can say it will be my journey.

 

Be sad and cry when you need to. Know that people care and if you want it- someone else is out there for you. Might be the same person, might not. I guess that why they call it fishing and not catching.

 

Be good and Be strong

[WadeCure]

Day 15

Halfway there through the challenge! I'm proud of the progress I've made so far. I owe everything to God for this. Prayer and keeping my eyes fixed above as helped me tremendously. I do realize that there is a good reason for everything that has happened, and I've learned so much from the experience. I'll make it through the final 15 days without question.

[Pollywolly]

Day 28

 

So its been 4 weeks since I last texted him (after a drunken girly drinking session that went on for too long!!) Nothing since then. Still feel as though I am going through roller coaster ride of emotions, sometimes I miss him really badly, sometimes I feel numb, angry, despair etc. Want to feel just 'happy' again and know that only I can find that happiness from within myself. Managed to sort out some counselling so am hoping that it will give me better 'coping skills' and help me to move forward and put me back in that place where I was before I met him. Thank you Superdave I have read through many of your threads and have found them so helpful.

[Jay_Bird]

day 15

 

 

its been hard,almost broke last night

 

but kept myself busy

 

no point in calling her if she got a new guy,anything I say will not help me at all

 

so I might as well just let God do his thing

 

just wish she is thinking about me like I am of her

[Rosie007]

Day 15

Halfway there through the challenge! I'm proud of the progress I've made so far. I owe everything to God for this. Prayer and keeping my eyes fixed above as helped me tremendously. I do realize that there is a good reason for everything that has happened, and I've learned so much from the experience. I'll make it through the final 15 days without question.

 

Go, Wade! You seem to be rockin'.

[Rosie007]

My how time flies.

 

Had the urge to contact him today to say each week spent apart is torture and pointless.

 

Guess I'd rather be unhappy with him, than without him. Such logic. (sigh)

[Stelinha]

First day of no contact,

 

I feel like rubbish today.

Everything else in life careerwise seems a mess and huge frustration at the moment. I want to tell him about it.but he's living his own life now and I doubt I really cross his mind- hard to swallow. Hope things get better soon.

 

Feel alone,

Oh well, tomorrow is another day.....

[Jay_Bird]

First day of no contact,

 

I feel like rubbish today.

Everything else in life careerwise seems a mess and huge frustration at the moment. I want to tell him about it.but he's living his own life now and I doubt I really cross his mind- hard to swallow. Hope things get better soon.

 

Feel alone,

Oh well, tomorrow is another day.....

 

 

you not alone,there are thousands of people going through the samething,don't believe

 

search all over this board

[HurtOkie]

OK. I accept this. Your messages gave me strength after four weeks of feeling awful and helpless. A woman I had been seeing off and on for a year wanted to be more than 'a piece of a$$'. I got serious, she did a 180 about two or three weeks later and told me she didn't have time for a relationship. And honestly she probably doesn't. She's a single mom, new job, three kids, etc. person. Both of us are/were going through a divorce. She has an abusive past and is finishing the divorce proceedings. Anyway, I freaked out and initiated contact once a week for the three weeks. The last time was at the request of a therapist who insisted that I tell her how I felt (the therapist thought the game playing was a sign of being unsure or confused). The call started bad, she saw me as a future abuser, we talked about the therapy, and the call ended with her telling me that I wasn't wasting my time, but that she neither like or dislike anyone at this point in her life. I haven't contacted her since then. That was 9 days ago. We may have started out as mutual rebounds, but I did develop feelings for her and would like this to turn into a real relationship. I know it's highly unlikely. So I would like to take this challenge and see what happens. Many folks have told me that she will contact me in about two weeks. I don't know. I've been miserable for a month and cannot get her off my mind.

HurtOkie

[Rosie007]

Fighting the intense urge to talk to him. I love him so much. It physically hurts to be separated from him so long.

[blue_dahlia]

Fighting the intense urge to talk to him. I love him so much. It physically hurts to be separated from him so long.

 

 

Hang in there Rosie Girl!!

 

Don't give in. You need to get past the pain or you're just going to keep going around and around and around and around, until one day, you will break the cycle and you will think back about all the time you wasted. So, you can choose, do you want that day to be today or a month from now or six months from now? Life doesn't last forever, and you're too good of a woman to let life pass you by.

[atelis]

Fighting the intense urge to talk to him. I love him so much. It physically hurts to be separated from him so long.

 

stay strong, i know it's hard. we all hurt but we need to stay strong and fight the pain

[chiyork]

Three weeks for me now. Sent last email wishing her all the best. Guess she would interpret that I had given up...she told me she may get married with the new guy soon. NC is just helping people move on...

[lockedout]

Day 3 for Dave's Challenge, but actually day 11 NC!

 

Had a really hard day today. I will never call/text/send letter or nothing like that, but I still think of her everyday. It's not as often, but it's when I do think of her, it's very strong thoughts . . ! I am afraid now, that, although it will never happen, if she does call, for some odd reason, will I be able to not answer the phone or text back. Will I be strong and stick to my NC. It has been 11 days since NC, and I wonder what she is thinking? Is she wondering why I haven't tried to bug her, lol? Is she thinking WOW, he's serious this time? Is she starting to think, I miss the good times? Or is she not thinking about me at all, and is glad not to hear from me anymore. ( too funny ) I don't know, the latter is probably true. Time will tell, anyways it just seems like yesterday that I made my last contact, but has been almost 2 weeks, in a couple days. Why is the memory of our last contact so clear and detailed to me, like it just happened minutes ago? Must be the re-living it, thing.

 

hang in there all!

[DavidWRosario]

Day 6

 

Well yesterday was more lc than nc, tried to speak with regarding kid issues only, she opted to character assassinate me instead. She knows how to draw me into a fight. Did not work to well yesterday. Was able to avoid most of the pitfalls. Hung up before i got to upset. It is kind of funny my counselor tells me right or wrong ? In whose eyes ? Hers of course, I can never be right. I think I should stop trying. Here's to a better day. Hope I can be nc instead of lc today

 

David

[Wotgorilla]

Day 16 since I've seen her, Day 11 since she last called, and getting better each day!

[HurtOkie]

Yesterday when I found this site I felt stronger and more confident than I had been in a month. Last night was hard though. I fell asleep and woke to a nightmare that I had contacted her and pushed her further away. Then the name of a man I had seen on her Facebook earlier kept popping into my head. Who was he? Was it a classmate? Was this the reason for the sudden change in her feelings? I tried to stay focused in that I was in control of my emotions and not her. Thought about the NC posts that I had read here. Slept a little. I miss her, not as badly as three days ago. The hope that she will contact me has increased, which may be bad for me. I don't know anymore. But I do know that staying away from MySpace and Facebook are the best thing for me.

HurtOkie

[WadeCure]

Day 16

 

Thanks for the encouragement Rosie first of all

 

When I fell asleep I had a dream last night in which we got back together and things were back as normal. That sucked to wake up from. But after the initial shock of reality set back in when I woke up and feeling bad for a few minutes I prayed and I "got back on the horse" of moving on and letting go. Despite the dream, I really am starting to think that I just miss having a relationship more than I miss her and I think when I get the 30 days of Dave's challenge I'll come to that conclusion. The relationship wasn't that good and when I think of somebody I'd like to be with in the future I actually would rather have somebody more like the person I dated for 2-3 months than her or somebody more like the friend that I had online for a year and a half from another country than her. I'm having a hard time right now contacting my friends, nobody seems to be returning my calls, but I'm sure they will. Today I'm going out with one of my great friends to go mountain biking, first time I've ever done it (get ready for the injury report on day 17 lol.) I'll have to say I've read a ton of threads started by Dave and Dave you are awesome and really put things into perspective about everything, thank you so much for that. You are definitely a sincere guy and the world needs a lot more people like you. I know this link has come up several times in the forum but in case you haven't heard it, this sermon will absolutely help you, listen to it repeatedly every time you start thinking "oh I need to contact her today":

link removed

 

Again for everybody doing NC - the most helpful thing that I've found in this journey is praying and talking to God. You will be surprised at what happens when you start feeling yourself slip and stop yourself and just talk to God immediately and without hesitation. God is amazing and really will work in your life.

[Stelinha]

No comments really but I survived temptation on day two!