THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[geamoiri]

Day 11

 

She broke NC again.Yesterday night was having tons of fun in a local Bar with friends.Aparently she saw me going there and there she comes wearing that sexy smile of hers to say Hello, then she asked me about our dog (lol) and then she said goodnight.I was cool and nonchalant and answered Hi , pepe (our dog) is fine goodnight.

And for the first time since the day she left me it didnt hurt to see her or missed her or anything.i am much better and will not brake NC whatever she does or try

[mrblond]

a quick question, been reading lots on this NC thing and probably wished i had seen it all two months ago.(we were together over 2yrs) Anyway apart from the initial try to get my lady back when we did split, i have been very good, i havent contacted her, but she has sent me the odd text email and if she asked how am i , i simply reply "i am doing very well thanks" if there was no reason to reply i wouldnt.

 

I know they say if you do nothing then you cant do no wrong

 

however, the thing is time has gone on and i have reflected on things and unfort the reason well main reason for us splitting was due to me not dealing with issues that came into our relationship. We didnt have a big heart to heart before it ended, I wont go into all details now. But even with this NC thing, is it wrong to write a letter ? accepting that she did the right thing and i take responsibility for the part i played in the break up. This letter wont be implying i want her back just acknowledging my part.

 

Yours thoughts as to whether this is a good thing or not ?

[mrblond]

aadsdfa asdasd

[Rosie007]

Hi ya, Rosie. On his v/m, did you say you would take him back or is that just how you feel you acted?

 

 

Hi BlueDahlia,

 

I didn't say I'd take him back. It's how I felt. Thanks for helping me think about the distinction.

 

-Rosie

[Rosie007]

My date went well, but the first half of the concert was a bit difficult for me. The concert was 30 blocks from his house. I had this overwhelming desire to stop at his apartment after the concert. I wanted to cry and I felt bad for being on a date with someone else. I don't think I'm ready.

 

I didn't call. I didn't stop by. I was miserable.

 

Today was easier.

[atelis]

be easy on yourself rosie. it is a hard time to be dating so soon and you are still very raw. don't feel like you have to heal by next week. you are putting too much pressure on yourself and need to just take your time. i know it;s frustrating because time seems to stand still in these situations, but you need to be strong and wait it out

[Rosie007]

be easy on yourself rosie. it is a hard time to be dating so soon and you are still very raw. don't feel like you have to heal by next week. you are putting too much pressure on yourself and need to just take your time. i know it;s frustrating because time seems to stand still in these situations, but you need to be strong and wait it out

 

Thank you for reminding me to be easy on myself, Atelis. That's something I forget all the time.

 

It seems I didn't realize I was pushing myself until I was already in the thick of it. I hope my date couldn't sense my distraction and was focused on the concert instead.

[atelis]

i feel crap at the moment too, and i tried to go out last week and meet women. i did meet a couple, but just felt worse because all the thoughts of the ex came rushing back. i thought it would be good for my self confidence if i met women, but it had the reverse effect and made me feel worse

[PrettyGood]

Day 29-31

 

It was long long weekend, when I had no chance to have a rest. I was in a seminar far away from him. The problem was that he didn't want to talk to me by phone, asked to show on Skype. On midnight after the seminar I appeared on Skype, but he wasn't intended to chat to me either. And lately, I returned yesterday 3a.m. in the morning, I asked him to drove me home. But he was so angry on me, he began charging me for any my word, complaint that I don't understand him and that I'm not changed person. I was astonished. Everytime when I tried to tell him any notice about his bad words for me or actions or even to mention that he's not showing me attention, even avoid embracing me, he becomes to some unnatural being which doesn't understand me what I'm talking about.

[PrettyGood]

Day 32

 

I remembered one event about yesterday. When I sat into his car, I saw a "smiley" drawn on the dusty front car panel. I asked "Who draw it?" (it looked very girlish) he told me that he don't remember, but lately when we were almost at home, I erased this dusty drawing with my hand and he began shouting on me "Why did you done it, idiot?! It was very important for me! Everytime I sat into my car I saw this smiley and felt happier!". Firstly I thought that he's joking, so I began laughing and telling him "Ok, understood, stop it, it's not funny." Unfortunaly he wasn't joking. He didn't talked to me, only was angry that I done it all the later morning till we went to sleep. He even didn't tell me that he missed me or didn't embraced me.

[WadeCure]

Day 11-13

 

Back online after taking a weekend away from the internet entirely. On Friday (Day 10) I called my friend and asked him if he was able to get my final stuff from her apartment, he said he was able to. Of course naturally I wanted to follow up and ask questions like "did she ask about me? did she say anything about me? how is she doing?" etc but as much as I wanted to ask those questions I knew that asking them would have been harmful to me and my recovery, so I didn't. So after getting my stuff back, it seems that there is nothing left tying me to her, and I don't see any reason for us to contact each other anymore because there's nothing left to discuss. Saturday (Day 11) was hard for the most part, not going to lie. It would have been our two year anniversary, and subsequently I was going to propose to her last Saturday. I was going to ask her to marry me... and based on the advice of my friends, it appears that a bullet was dodged here. Thoughts of "does she remember what today is? does she miss me?" etc etc swirled around my head almost all day that day and of course those thoughts brought me down. I did a lot of praying to help expel those thoughts from my head. The same day I went out and decided to try something new and bought a mountain bike, this was an excellent decision because I rode for a few hours that night and the next day around my small town. Sunday (Day 12) was a good day, I went to church with a great friend of mine, went to a church picnic afterwards, and met several new people who will likely become friends over time. When I got home later that day I went for a ride on my new bike and that was incredibly fun, so much fun that later that night I did some more riding. I read several chapters of The Purpose Driven Life later on that evening. Before going to bed I picked up my acoustic guitar and started playing and I came up with several great sounding riffs, so good that I recorded them all with my cell phone so I wouldn't forget them. So I've been doing lots of stuff to get my mind off of her, and it seems to be working fairly alright so far. Today I'm feeling okay though I've returned back to work. I've got a lot of things to think about regarding my future. I'm putting all I've got into God's Hands and I'm trusting Him that things are going to work out just fine for me, so I'm feeling good at the moment.

[Pollywolly]

Day 26

 

I am almost at 30 days and I have still not contacted him. Kept busy at the weekend and went to stay with a friend and looked at a potential new house which is lovely and is in a peaceful village. Felt a bit close to tears at one point today when I was thinking about past times with him but think it is all part of the healing process. Will continue to be strong and will still not contact him after the 30 days.

[Rosie007]

Feel the same. Want him. Love him.

 

Also painfully conscious of how he was capable of loving me ... but didn't.

[Azudragon]

Day 43

 

I have learned to love myself and she is slowly fading away. have seen improvements mentally and physically. Im confident and my sex appeal has gone sky high. I never never want to go back.... one two three four five , im seeing the world as ive never seen it, whooah!!!!!

[Jay_Bird]

tomorrow will make 2 weeks

 

 

but I have been looking on her myspace,starting tomorrow I won't

[Rosie007]

i feel crap at the moment too, and i tried to go out last week and meet women. i did meet a couple, but just felt worse because all the thoughts of the ex came rushing back. i thought it would be good for my self confidence if i met women, but it had the reverse effect and made me feel worse

 

You told me to be gentle with myself because it was probably too soon for me to be dating. Perhaps the same holds true for you, too ... we need to give ourselves time and space to heal.

[PrettyGood]

Day 33

 

Yesterday we had some arguments. I still couldn't understand how men can make love with other women so suddenly, so I was peeling him like a grapefruit about that girl. Did he love her? Why did he make love? What did he thought about me when did it? And etc... These questions made him so mad about it! He didn't understand why can't I stop asking him these "silly" (was it silly? I thought it's normal) questions. Sure, he didn't say any answers, only that he met her on dating site and then went to a date and made love (don't know the same evening or others). Also he betrayed that it wasn't only one girl he made love. But when saw my popped up eyes, he changed his minds, that it was the only one and he was joking.

 

Oh my god, on today he promised to say the answer, will we live together from this week at his house or not. "Yes" ir "No" - I'm afraid to hear any of these answers, cause I'm in doubt what will happen if we will have a quarrel or what if he dump me with other girl? From this situation it depends that I should give back the renting house keys to the owner. I'm afraid to appear in the street without a home with these idiotic minds how he's making love with another girls.

[hulk7280]

wow this sounds like a great idea.. unfortunately i cant start this until i come back from trip to vegas..

 

me and my ex broke up on the 18th.. but we have a planned trip to vegas this weekend..

 

we talked on and off this weekend and she pretty much told me it was over.. we have been 2gether for 6 months and she told me she wasnt sure what the future held for us and she figured after 6 months she should love me or know we are going to get married... but she said she doesnt feel that way so she wants to move on..it def hurt me, but i feel better a little better now

 

i have gone complete NC today and will continue it until thursday when i see her at the airport.. wish me luck guys on getting through this weekend.. its going to be crazy one! and thanks for having this site.. nice to know im not alone and i will get through this

[hulk7280]

tomorrow will make 2 weeks

 

 

but I have been looking on her myspace,starting tomorrow I won't

 

i deleted from myspace.. dude i dont even log in anymore.. that site will drive u nuts trying to figure out what she is up too who she is talkin too

[orangesoda]

this past saturday marked 6 months of NC on my part.

 

for the rest of you just starting out, it does get easier and easier with each day.

 

just remember to stay busy and focus on the other aspects of your life.

[WadeCure]

Day 14

 

Doing good today. Been focusing my energies on the Lord and I can tell you that had it not been for the Lord I would be bouncing off the walls in despair. Not to say I don't think of her, I still do. I think about her all the time but the pain is starting to slip away and will continue to do so as long as I do not know what she's doing. I'm trying my best to just keep my eyes ahead and looking at what is to come instead of what is behind me. I'm happy with my progress so far. This is definitely far better than the last break up I had with another girl in which I was hurting pretty bad for a long time. My heart still longs to find real and honest love though I'm far from ready to date again. But thank God so far for me being able to take the high road this time and truly work on myself and progress physically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm not the same person I was. I'm better. And soon I'll be better than I am now, I'm completely focused on bettering myself as a person in every single aspect of my life. Again I must advise for those of you on this journey - don't look back, truly work on yourself, and pray. You'll be surprised at what you can do when you chip away the old version of you.

[lockedout]

Day 1

 

I'm going to start my Dave's challenge today, although it's been 9 days already. But officially it's back to day 1 for me for the challenge. I saw her car yesterday at a party store near my house and wondered if there was some coincidence or not. But, took a deep breath and kept driving . .

[Rosie007]

Really wish I had kept NC when I received his mail. My hope was that he was trying to open a door of communication. Now I suspect that might of been his way doing closure.

 

Really wish I didn't love someone who seemingly doesn't/didn't love me.

[Rosie007]

Correction: Really wish I didn't love someone who never loved me and often treated me with little consideration for my wants and needs.

[txbboy]

I broke contact twice this week, so I don't know if I should still be writing under NC thread anymore but here I am. Last week I got 2 "private" calls on my cell phone. I answered them, there was noise in the background but nobody said anything. Both calls were at weird times in the day. One was at 10 p.m. and the other was at 2 a.m. A few days went by and I had my suspicions it was my ex. I didn't know if I should ask her or not, so I took a few days to think about it. It was driving me crazy not knowing who it was so I finally texted her and asked her. She texted no and if she needed to call me she wouldn't block the call. So afterwards I felt dumb because now she knows I'm getting desperate to talk to her.

 

I've been physically sick since we broke up too. I went to the doctor and he said it might be an ulcer, but I need to take more tests. Finding this out made me so pissed off. SHE'S the one that cheated on ME, and yet I'M sick and depressed. That's not fair. Not only that but I hear friends tell me they've seen her at clubs and stuff, dancing with other guys. She's having the time of her life. Yet I can't go the club for fear of missing her too much. Anyway I broke contact with her earlier today. I sent her a ton of long texts, saying how I'm sick, depressed and stressed out. But even after all that, I told her I forgive her for cheating on me. That way she'll get to thinking about how messed up it was for her to cheat on such a nice guy. She hasn't texted me back yet. She either got pissed off or she feels so guilty she doesn't know what to say. Either way she's thinking about me, and that's what I wanted.