THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Abbie]

.... I never thought I'd get to this many days but every day keeps adding to the achievement. Unfortunately though, he has been creeping into my life lately. About 3 weeks ago he dropped a book off at my house through the letter box (no idea why) and last week he emailed me. The bulk of the email was to do with a financial issue. I did respond but kept it very short and business-like. I don't class this as breaking NC as I only wrote what was necessary to sort out the financial aspect ( a total of 3 brief sentences). Last night, I bumped into him in the local supermarket with the new woman and her child. I said 'hello' to him and kept on walking. Again, I don't class this as breaking NC as it was an accidental meeting. Thankfully, I'd just had my hair cut and was wearing make-up whereas his new bird looked a bit of a state. She's fatter than I thought too. It makes me feel better to think that he's downgraded.

 

The fact that there has been some contact has confirmed that NC is definetely right for me and I couldn't cope with LC. Even though I'm in control of the situation, the fact that there has been some contact has brought a lot of thoughts and feelings flooding back and now I'm wondering if he's going to reply to my email or whether he's going to initiate further contact. This contact has put me a step back. NC is the only way forward for me.

 

On a brighter note, I totally did a bungee jump on Saturday. It was the most terrifying experience of my entire life but I am so flipping proud of myself and it was an amazing experience. If I can do that, I can do anything and my ex can flip off.

[WadeCure]

Days 4,5,6

 

I haven't been posting on the weekends because I've been trying to avoid the internet in general because she's everywhere. Friday was the last day I logged into my MySpace to check my messages from people. I didn't look at her MySpace, so I don't classify as breaking my NC. Though I plan not to log into MySpace ever again to avoid any accidental encounters. As far as how I'm doing... I'm just so sad and so alone right now. I miss her. I'm not going to lie. I miss her terribly. I'm hurt that she's moving on so quickly and is over me so fast (or so it appears, or maybe this is her way of dealing with the pain. I don't know.) I'm terrified that love is never coming my way again. I don't know how to deal with those fears. I don't know what to do. Perhaps I should see a therapist. I don't know.

[Trei1972]

day 9..

this is probly the longest I've went with NC with this man in almost 25 years. I'm not sure how to feel about it. Does he miss me at all? The last few months.. since he left in March actually, have been so filled with angry, hateful exchanges between us, that perhaps this has covered over all happy memories in his mind. The horrbile things he's done to me, have to a certain extant covered the happy ones in my mind. But not completely. I wish it was so. We have court again today, but I don't think it's necessary that I attend. I think it's just going to be continued.. again. It's so hard for me to get to the court house with no car. Its way accross the city.. so I will just skip today..

[Rosie007]

I have a date tomorrow night. I also have a date Saturday night.

 

I'm trying.

[geamoiri]

Day 7

 

After she broke NC yesterday with a lousy excuse i decided that NC actually works. I feeling better today stronger and more confident.

[Pollywolly]

Day 19

 

Felt so sad over the weekend but have been strong and not contacted him. I may have the opportunity to move to a house in a different area, in the countryside. Feel I need a brand new start, new job and a change in my life. This fills me with a new hope and a chance to move on from him and to make the memories of him less painful. Will visit the house at the weekend.

[love_stinks]

Superdave, I'd love to take the challenge, but unfortunately I live in a small town and have already run into her twice in 3 weeks . . . but other than that, I've not called or emailed. I don't have a cell phone, and she doesn't do myspace - thank God.

 

Curiosity kills the cat every time.

[coloradio]

I'm really tempted to give this NC thing a shot. I just need to be absolutely sure which approach will better my chances of being with her again.

[atelis]

i broke NC after 25 days yesterday. will now try a combination of LC and maybe NC again and see how i go. we had a nice chat and i asked her if she would like to catch up in a couple of weeks if her schedule allowed it. she said she would and will let me know, but she has said yes and later changed her mind before.

[helplesslyhoping]

I'd give my right arm to have NC with my STBX!!!!

 

Unfortunately, we have a child together and we are playing nice so she doesn't get anymore caught than she already is.... SIGH

[PrettyGood]

Day 26

 

Today I want to update some information about Day 25 (yesterday), when he asked me to live with him for a week. So the evening was without quarrels. All the time, he was playing his computer games. I was sitting next to him, embracing him, kissing him, saying that I love him. He wasn't so fondle. He just asked me why am I looking at him like asking something, smiled to me, kissed several times to my lips and embraced. But it was just a reply to my actions, not his personal attempt. We drank a wine a little bit, but without a toast.

 

Lately I went to bathroom, washing naked and he came to me. He tried to come several times when I was with clothes, but went out. So he began kissing me, etc. But lately stopped and went out again.

 

And finally I went to his bed. He told me "Good night", kissed me and went out of his room to continue playing his computer games. I hoped the best, but it was my worst moment. He left me lying alone, so what was his kissing games in the bathroom? I woke up early in the morning, but he still wasn't in my bed. So I went to look out for him. He was still playing games and chatting. Lately, he came to my bed, but didn't kiss me, even didn't embrace me, so I felt so cold. Later I went to my job, he was sleeping, but before I was gone, he gave me one more kiss.

 

Today he's romantic again. Sending kiss and missings through Skype. Told me that yesterday we misunderstood each other. Ok... then we will see what will happen this evening. I'm afraid to tell someone that we're trying to glue this friendship again, because it can be too early to joy.

[Ixtapa]

Nothing new. Still thinking of him too much....

[Abbie]

..... I saw him last night in his car. This recent spat of sightings is making it so hard to forget about him. I was doing so well but seeing him again is bringing all the feelings back. I'm starting to want him back even though he was having an affair. I'm over analyzing every sighting of him to look for clues to say that he's missing me. It's stupid. I had totally accepted that he was never going to be in my future and I'd got to the point where I totally didn't want him. I think I may even still love him. NC is the only way I can heal but it's so difficult when he keeps cropping up. I wish he would just disappear.

[ccali78]

Hey everyone I am back and officially on day one. I am taking this challenge seriously now. I know now it is for my healing and moving on to a better life for me. This is not a challenge to get him back, it is a challenge for me to be strong (even when I feel weak) and to heal.

 

I am ready to heal and try to move forward. I need all the support I can get and am happy to have everyone to go through this with. His birthday is in 13 days and I have added that I will also not be contacting him then either. I am so excited to work on me and move past this...

[confusion631]

The one month mark is in sight...I've been broken up with my ex for roughly 3 months now and I've never been the one to break NC. I believe it's the best way to heal. Like the title of this thread I'm on day 28 and now my ex sends me a message...basically just saying she misses me and wants to know how everything is going. This is the second time she's broken NC with this type of message.I feel awful ignoring her but I just don't know why she feels the need to keep checking in on me. She decided she didn't want me anymore so why is she being so hypocritical? I think there is a chance for reconciliation and I've definitely taken plenty of time to heal and work on myself. Do I respond?

[WadeCure]

Day 7

 

It's amazing what can happen when you hand things over to God. At about 5 or 6pm I just prayed everything that was in my heart and had an extensive conversation with God and I hadn't felt more at peace than I did at that moment in a long time. I feel a lot better about things. Though I still have these reunion fantasies. I don't see how it's possible we'll ever talk again since I told her and I quote "please don't talk to me again" and when she texted me two days later to say "your stuff is gathered up" I pretty much reinforced it by saying "I asked you not to talk to me please respect that, I'll have my friend pick my things up." This was actually two weeks ago today (though I don't factor that in to the NC time because I looked at her MySpace since then.) It's truly amazing how I have changed in these past couple of weeks since the break up, I'm a lot better person than I was. She'll never see that. Oh well. I just hope and pray that someone else will. Someone better for me. I really hope true love is in my future. I'll do whatever it takes to get that someday because there's nothing more that I want than true love.

[StillSmiling]

The one month mark is in sight...I've been broken up with my ex for roughly 3 months now and I've never been the one to break NC. I believe it's the best way to heal. Like the title of this thread I'm on day 28 and now my ex sends me a message...basically just saying she misses me and wants to know how everything is going. This is the second time she's broken NC with this type of message.I feel awful ignoring her but I just don't know why she feels the need to keep checking in on me. She decided she didn't want me anymore so why is she being so hypocritical? I think there is a chance for reconciliation and I've definitely taken plenty of time to heal and work on myself. Do I respond?

 

I have not read your story, but my Ex came sniffing around at Day 36. I got weak when I saw that he had been checking on me and IMed him. It opened a canof worms, lead to a phone call, then a meeting and a drink ... and offer to do somethingin the future. And now he has gone totally silent again.

 

I don't regret the final meeting as I feel I understand the breakup better. I also understand myself better and what I want better. BUT, he now has me watching email and my damn phone again waiting to hear from him again.

 

I'm sitting quiet. So just be careful of what you wish for.

[Rosie007]

I'm confused. How does moving in with someone qualify as No Contact?

[Rosie007]

I hope to hear from him all the time. But I haven't contacted him.

 

He hasn't contacted me, either, which makes my NC easy.

[StillSmiling]

I'm confused. How does moving in with someone qualify as No Contact?

 

I'm glad SOMEONE finally asked this question. I've been wondering with every post being made how it was NC. LOL

[Trei1972]

so I did see my ex yesterday but don't count it as breaking NC as we didn't speak to each other. I decided to go to court after all. It was good I did. He took a plea bargain and since I was there, it made it possible to go ahead with sentencing him. I haven't gotten into this aspect of the end of our relationship yet on this forum. When he first left me for the secretary, he would still see our kids. After only about 2 weeks, he brought the youngest one back, and SHE came along! I lost my temper and started yelling about how dare you bring that b**ch to my home.. what was our home up till 2 weeks ago. He told the girl to leave and then when she did, he proceeded to clock me. That is what the court date was about. And he pled guilty to all three counts of domestic violence yesterday. I didn't feel vindicated. I felt sad about what has become of us. I wonder if drugs has played a part in all this. I've heard through the grapevine that the girl he left me for, and is now married to, is into drugs. But it doesn't matther either way. Our life together is destroyed. So he got 18 mos of probation and has to take anger management classes, plus drug/alcohol classes. Again.. no feelings of vindication, just sadness. He didn't even look at me in court. I tried not to look at him, but couldn't help it. He was wearing a shirt I bought him. . . very sad...

[Pollywolly]

Day 20

 

Think I have read almost every relationship self help book going - 'Men Who Can't Love', Women Who Love Too Much', How to Mend a Broken Heart' !! Feels like I am constantly searching for answers to help me understand why he broke up with me. My emotions seem to change constantly but waiver between extreme sadness, anger and feelings of complete hopelessness.

 

I realise that I gave it my best in the relationship, I put up with things that probably others would not have put up with all in the name of love. Keep telling myself that it wasn't me it was his fears but doesn't make me feel any better about any of it when I am missing him so much :sad:

[Mutley]

Celebrating 2 solid months of NC!!!!!

[Wotgorilla]

Back again, we broke up for good, really good, last week. Day 2 of NC, following a "I really didn't cheat" e-mail that I won't ever believe!

[PrettyGood]

I'm confused. How does moving in with someone qualify as No Contact?

 

Well the section of "No Contact" in forum is called "Getting back together". So I understand that NC must be used to get back together by NC method or not get back. I'm trying to get back. And it's my improvement time when getting back together.