Ixtapa Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Hey Ixtapa- love the name. Was there on Valentines day w/the ex this year. We loved it. Talked about buying a condo there in the future... not in the cards for me now. Oh well. Beautiful place though. Yes, definitely loved Ixtapa too....my first love was from Mexico and I went there on vacation a few times (Mexico city, Ixtapa, Playa del Carmen & Chichen Itza). My most recent ex is from Egypt. What can I say.....I like countries with pyramids Link to comment
Pollywolly Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Day 11 Woke up this morning feeling low as was dreaming about him while I slept and felt so real as though I was really with him and talking to him. Think that weekends are worse as that was the time I mainly got to spend with him. I can't imagine him ever coming back into my life as it was before the split. Spent some time with my family over the weekend but felt a bit awkward as wanted to be all 'jolly and happy' especially around my dad as I don't get to see him very often but felt as though my heartache is contagious and that it was rubbing off onto to them and they didn't quite know what to say to me. Its times like that when I maybe I should just be on my own, with my own negative thoughts. Link to comment
livingitup Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Day 4... Had a really good night last night. Lots of hugs and attention from the ladies. None of them compared, of course. Actually dreamed about someone else last night, not the ex. Who knows what she's doing...I genuinely hope she's okay and not too lonely. She could have come out with her roommate, my roommate, and I. I wouldn't have minded. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 It really is a blessing to have San Diego weather.... Sometimes though I wish it was rainy and cloudy to match my moods. The single thing I miss about the Midwest. Watching TV and seeing a t-storm warning, calling up my best friend, grabbing a few beers for the road, listening to the radio and 'chasing the storm'. Bull * * * * ting about life, love, politics while cruising the country roads in the middle of a storm. Fun stuff I miss about Indiana. Not much else though......... Link to comment
coldplay. Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 day 3 constant thoughts of her, cold play-warning signs on repeat for god knows how many days. When i close my eyes i can still reach out and feel her face and hair its almost surreal Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Sometimes though I wish it was rainy and cloudy to match my moods. The single thing I miss about the Midwest. Watching TV and seeing a t-storm warning, calling up my best friend, grabbing a few beers for the road, listening to the radio and 'chasing the storm'. Bull * * * * ting about life, love, politics while cruising the country roads in the middle of a storm. Fun stuff I miss about Indiana. Not much else though......... Kinda same thing here ... from Michigan. Long ago and far away ..... Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 OK FINE! He's read my mail and no response. THEN, I log into a pretty obsure dating site I've been on ... guess who has signed up??? So I sent him a mail "Are you following me? LOL" I feel like I am back in high school. I REALLY have to be done with this .. Guess I am back to Day one again. and again and again ... Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 StillSmiling Thinking of you!! Sending you lots of support. Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 8 days of NC. We saw each other ten days ago, our best "date" yet (or whatever you would label it). I'm not texting him. I'm not contacting him first. I won't do it. It's his turn to initiate. I'm going to stay strong. I'm going to be strong. To contact him is a mistake. I know he would reply. But a response is simply not enough. Who wants a response? What does that tell me? That he can read? That he's capable of texting back, yet he's not capable of doing it on his own? I won't contact him. I won't. I'm the prize. I want someone who wants me. Someone who is able to work through the pain and decide that I'm worth it. I'm worth it. I won't contact him. I won't. Link to comment
megken Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Day One Again, OK, I have not talked to him since Friday night when I found out about the other girl. However, I did leave a voice mail on his phone Saturday night. Today, I wrote a letter ad left it at his house. Here it is: The years we spent together were some of the defining moments on my life. It changed me in ways I can not fully grasp yet. I loved you. When we were together, you were all that I thought about. You were all that I cared about. I may have a hard time expressing my love but you melted my heart. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. When I say I loved you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. You have touched my heart in ways I can never imagine. I think once you love someone, you are marked for life. You were once part of my life and I will carry that with me for the rest of my life. The girl you once knew and the girl who once loved you has grown up. I am not the same person that I used to be when I met you. I have changed. And I’d like to believe that I changed for the better partly because of you. Although it was hard not to be bitter given that you have broken my heart so many times. I don’t know if you can fully understand what you did to me. I know I’ve been cruel to you. I know that I’ve hurt you. I know it is not right to hurt someone intentionally but I thought that since you’ve hurt me, I want to hurt you back. I guess I always wanted you to love me and to continue to love me even if we’re no longer together. So I admit, that part, I’m selfish. I wanted to go to sleep at nights knowing that somewhere out there in the world, was a guy who loved me and who thought of me. But when you told me that you were seeing another girl, I felt so sad. You had stopped loving me and have moved on. It’s what I’ve always wanted for you but I guess I was not prepared for how much it would hurt. It hurt. It really hurt. Believe it or not, there is a point to this letter besides just talking about loss. Bascially, it is this. I really want to be able to give you what you need. If you want to be gone, if you are not in love with me anymore and don’t want to be with me, then I need to respect that. But I cannot continue to see you and not say anything to you. I don’t understand what you thought I was going to act like. I can’t just sit there and chit chat with you. This is tearing me up. And while I don’t want to upset you, I can’t do it anymore. I really can’t. We need a new arrangement. If this is truly what you want, if you want to be gone, then you should be gone. If you told me there was any hope for us, then I could continue like this, but since you’re saying there is not, I will take you at your word and as much as that hurts, I will try to accept it. I’m just saying that if I’m not going to be with you, I can’t continue to see you all the time. I can’t take it. Please don’t come to the house earlier than 7 on school mornings. On Wed and Thurs. pick up Kyle at my mom’s and you (or she) can do his homework-work it out with her. Friday nights, you can pick him up at my mother’s (I will make arrangements with her) I am returning your house key because I do not want to be the one you call when you need something. End letter I wrote the letter because he will think I am not answering the phone to deprive him of talking to his son, which is not the case. He comes every morning to take his son to school and has him on Wed and Thurs nights and Fri night after work. I have not answered any of his calls (there have been many) and I delete his messages without listening. If I don't talk to him, he can't hurt me... Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 8 days of NC. I won't contact him. I won't. I'm the prize. I want someone who wants me. Someone who is able to work through the pain and decide that I'm worth it. I'm worth it. I won't contact him. I won't. YOU are worth it!! Feel the truth in your heart. Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 YOU are worth it!! Feel the truth in your heart. Thank you, Rosie! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Starting NC over today. I looked at his MySpace. BIG MISTAKE. Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Thinking of you!! Sending you lots of support. Day 4.9 Thanks Blue Dahlia ... Well, almost 8:30 PM here and no answer to my email. He had plenty of time as he has been "online" at the other site .. no time to answer me. Not an answer to my email for having a drink .. not to my joke on the dating site if he was "following me". This is beyond stupid now. He reaches out, I reply, and i get rejected again. Amazing what we set ourselves up for with this. I have to get off this treadmill of thinking he is even a sane person ... ACK. Was a fun day with a GF out to lunch and a hike. I have to pray for the strength to just STOP all of this and get on with life. He's a wacko. I think I may actually be pissed off for the first time at him. Would be a good thing to hold on to ..... Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Starting NC over today. I looked at his MySpace. BIG MISTAKE. Yeah, I just read his stuff too. BIG MISTAKE. But we will learn from this ... *hugs* Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 . I won't contact him. I won't. I'm the prize. I want someone who wants me. Someone who is able to work through the pain and decide that I'm worth it. I'm worth it. Hugs babe. I think we need a I'M THE PRIZE thread! In time we will KNOW this every day, every hour. Till then, we will remind ourselves here and know we are right. We ALL deserve the freedom in the heart to move forward from those that can't accept us as who we are. Link to comment
coldplay. Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Starting over as well, looked at myspace/facebook. I had such an insightful day too... Link to comment
DavidWRosario Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Day 10 This is not going to be a good day. it has been 4 months today. she asked me to watch the kids for 4 days next month and take them to school. I guess she has moved on. Starting to see she never had anything invested in this relationship. Well me, I cant say it, its not true. Arrrggghhh Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Day 10 This is not going to be a good day. it has been 4 months today. she asked me to watch the kids for 4 days next month and take them to school. I guess she has moved on. Starting to see she never had anything invested in this relationship. Well me, I cant say it, its not true. Arrrggghhh Please don't think that because she has moved on NOW it means she NEVER had anything invested in the relationship BEFORE. If it hurts so much to let go it is most probably because you shared a lot of wonderful times together. Those wonderful times still remain and are yours forever. I know its very hard to see it that way at the moment....but Im pretty sure you were loved by that woman as much as you loved her. Don't doubt that now...its only adding to the suffering and its certainly not the truth !! Take care of YOURSELF ! Link to comment
Trei1972 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 I thought your letter was perfect. You were respectful of his choices yet you made it very clear that you have respect for yourself. I'm in a similiar situation and it's so very hard! I feel for you and will follow your story.. hugs.. take care.,. Link to comment
txbboy Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Almost a month now and I'm feeling really sad. If I wasn't reminded of her so much this weekend I would be okay. But Saturday at work, I went to see one of my customers and they asked about her. They asked me how was my girlfriend doing and I told them we broke up. And she told me that it would be okay. That I would find someone else. And I told her that I didn't want to look anymore. This wasn't the first time my girlfriend cheated on me. But this was the only one that really mattered. I don't want to invest another 2 years of my life for someone if this is going to happen again. Then yesterday I went to my cousin's house and she had pictures of me and my ex on her mirror. So that reminded me of her again. Then I went to my parent's house and I was hooking up their printer to the computer. I was looking for a picture to print to test it out, and mom had pictures of us on her computer. So I deleted them but they still brought back memories. In the past with girls have cheated on me, they always came back and left a note or something. And I figure that's what my current ex would do. But it's been longer than I expected. So with me taking the NC challenge, can I approach her after a month? Or should I just keep waiting for her to come back? Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 In the past with girls have cheated on me, they always came back and left a note or something. And I figure that's what my current ex would do. But it's been longer than I expected. So with me taking the NC challenge, can I approach her after a month? Or should I just keep waiting for her to come back? First, I can relate to all of the memories and pictures and how it triggers the hurt ... continue to clean what ever space you have to. Secondly, why would you want someone back that has cheated on you? How could you ever trust her again? Don't you think you deserve someone that will respect you more than that? Hold that head up a bit higher, and hold on for the one that properly care for a relationship. You'll make it. Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Day ???? I can't even figure out what day it is anymore. I suppose it is back to Day One since I emailed him yesterday to agree to that drink. This morning I am pissed off. STILL no response from him. Why the hell did he torture me with the flowers and the offer of going out, only to not respond when I said yes? He is really fighting to "fill that hole" as he is now on 4 dating sites that I know of. The latest one being an obscure site that I am on. Yet, he won't turn back towards me and make another go of it. I am sick of this game. It now feels like a game he is playing. I always felt him to be so straightforward and admired the way he was never afraid to show his softer side. Now I feel like he is screwing with my head. I've gone back to jumping at the phone ringing and incessantly checking my email for a response from him. Just like in the beginning. He is putting me back through the torture again and I can't allow him to do it. I have thoughts this morning of writing him and telling him to just drop it all and leave me alone. I suppose I wanted the chance to correct the thoughts he has of me having moved on. And to see what his reaction would be. I had hope. And I don't want to have hope any more. And I don't want to want him anymore. It's time for me to take care of me only now. Too much time and energy and pain has already been spent on something that is not going anywhere. I swear these tears are going to be the last I shed for him ... EDIT: He just replied to my joke on the dating site of me asking him "Are you following me? LOL". He wrote "Yes, I'm stalking you. Don't look out your window " Great, yet no answer on the going out. This is beginning to get really sick. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Day 1 Starting over once again. Sent him simple e-mail this morning to say he can count on me loving him and that I always. It was suggested this weekend my love chakra is open, which may explain why my tendency towards unrequited, as well as unconditional love can be so problematic. Doesn't mean I need to shut down my heart ... just be more selective, I guess. Note: I claim responsibility for my actions. He behaved in a self-interested manner that felt hurtful to me. Instead of diassociating myself from behavior that felt hurtful, I went back for more ... and more. Might he have behaved more kindly sometimes? Perhaps. But I'm the one who needs to be kind -- and loving -- to myself. It's not an outside job. I'm experiencing all sorts of anguish, but I reckon that's natural given the circumstances: I loved and hoped for love in return. I was unable to offer what was offered as loving. I got hurt. I ran away ... or perhaps I could restate this: I protected myself by backing off. Would I do it all over again? Yes. But I would strive to maintain a good balance at all time and honor better my own needs and desires. Instead of fantasizing about what I'd like to happen, I'd keep my focus on the facts of the situation as they were. -Rosie Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 ok im going to attempt this given the recent ongoings with my ex..she asked for nc actually..so im gonna adhere to it Link to comment
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