DJC Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Day 11 Made a list of all the mistakes and bad things I did in the relationship that contributed to the breakup. It is helping me to see my mistakes and make myself better. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I love this. Says it all, doesn't it? I am just fed up with the non sense I went through...trying to show her I really did care for her after 2 months after the break up. I have been keeping busy. She pops in my mind but I turn my attention to something else after a while. Day 11 *shrugs again* lol Link to comment
ccali78 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Day 1 again of NC. I have not been contacting him. He usually contacts me... So I am feeling good about that and me... Link to comment
bramage Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Day 5.. I'm kind of glad she has not tried to contact, but am also kind of surprised. In all honesty, I have been doing a LOT of thinking, and although I have love for her, I think she is wrong for me, and has way too many issues to even be in a relationship. That hurts, but I am going to move on with my healing, and fate will determine the outcome. Link to comment
feelinblu Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Day 11 Made a list of all the mistakes and bad things I did in the relationship that contributed to the breakup. It is helping me to see my mistakes and make myself better. This is a fabulous idea. I think I will do the same! I'll have a book of them by the time I'm done Link to comment
feelinblu Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 We were supposed to go to a concert together this evening..... I guess that won't be happening now, will it?!? It's a hard day just because of that, and also because I know he will be in my part of town for the concert (he lives about 75 miles away). No, I will not "accidentally" bump into him! Besides, I look like hell right now cause I'm a little under the weather It's none of my business anymore, but I wonder who he's taking with him to the concert now. Whomever it is, I hope he thinks he'd have more fun with me! Haha. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Day 10, although I know it won't be much longer before I see him again...I heard he's going to be at the picnic Friday...I'm curious as to how he will respond to me. There's a multitude of thought rolling around; perverted sense of hope because he sent me the angry email last week (at least he thought of me, right??), sadness over not having him in my life, but reigning mostly is still the sense of embarrassment and humiliation over how I acted and how I groveled and basically threw myself at him. I took all responsibility of the relationship, he didn't have to do any work, and in the end I did all the work for nothing, because he didn't love me, he didn't respect me, he didn't want me. So I miss him, I wish him, but most of all I'm still embarrassed that I gave him that much of myself for nothing. Link to comment
DJC Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Day 12 I thought things were ok but I went to the doctors for some migraines and chest pains, and apparently they are stress induced-so I guess I'm not ok yet. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Day 12 - It has been almost 2 weeks. I am staying busy making moves with my music. She pops up in my head but not like before. I can say I am smiling a whole lot more these days. I still love this dumb broad though. Link to comment
feelinblu Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I can't wait to start feeling better. I was doing so well until I got sick. Now I'm laying around a lot more which is good for me physically, but not so good for me emotionally. I've been praying a lot lately, and this last weekend this really strong feeling came over me that I should call him. Well, I resisted that urge, but it was a really strange feeling. I felt like God was trying to tell me to do that. I don't know why He would though. I wonder if I should have acted on it, and that's part of the reason I'm feeling the way I am right now too. I'm still sticking to NC, but if that strange feeling comes over me again, I might act on it. Link to comment
ccali78 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Today I am started no contact again. I keep failing because I am too nice. Well now I am mad and I am sticking to it. Even if he texts me I am busy!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 11 days, only 2 more before I see him again, at the picnic. I'm nervous about it, wondering what his attitude will be. Will he be angry, or will he be in a good mood, will he be nice to me, or will he be a jerk? I never know. When he's good, it's very very good. When he's bad, it's awful. I just never know. And I'm at a loss for what to say to him. I think about sitting down and emailing him to say what's on my heart, and I don't even know how to put it into words. I just know I'm confused and sad, I miss him, I'm hurt, and I'm embarrassed. I still love him but I need so much more. And how do I put all this in a single email? Link to comment
feelinblu Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 11 days, only 2 more before I see him again, at the picnic. I'm nervous about it, wondering what his attitude will be. Will he be angry, or will he be in a good mood, will he be nice to me, or will he be a jerk? I never know. When he's good, it's very very good. When he's bad, it's awful. I just never know. And I'm at a loss for what to say to him. I think about sitting down and emailing him to say what's on my heart, and I don't even know how to put it into words. I just know I'm confused and sad, I miss him, I'm hurt, and I'm embarrassed. I still love him but I need so much more. And how do I put all this in a single email? I'm on the verge of sending an email too. I'm gonna try not to do it though. I don't think you should either. At least wait and see how he is at the picnic. Maybe once you see him, you won't feel the need to email anymore. Link to comment
DJC Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Day 13 Such a bad nights sleep, can't remember what time I finally fell asleep but it was around 4. I was kept up because I was thinking about her, its quite annoying because in the days I am fine and have fun but at night all I do is think about her. Link to comment
WlknCntrdiction Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Day 31. I'm going to skip ahead to now if you guys don't mind, I'll put down what I can remember from how I felt over the past month. Day 1. Day after she initiates NC, feeling gutted that I'll never speak to her again, she's most likely taken me off msn so at least now I can really move on without any distractions. Day 8. She pops up on msn after I thought she almost certainly would have deleted me from it. I'm not going to talk her, she told me never to contact her again so I'm not going to go against her word now, especially when it could make things alot worse. Day 15. Whilst on msn and seeing her come online I don't have that feeling in my heart whereby I want to talk to her, even when I pull up her window I have no feeling. I'm cured Happiest day of life. Day 22. Been having alot more fun out with the lads, dancing(something I thought I would never ever do), talking to new people and just generally being myself, I feel F'ing great and nothing can get me down. Day 29. Starting to miss her slightly but every time I think of her I tell myself I'm better off without her and the thought is gone, though I still remember all the things we used to do and it makes me sad we're not together anymore I don't feel the need to contact her. Listening to some music will help Day 30. The thoughts are coming back again but again they're not very strong and diminished straight away. I so wish she was here now My heart keeps overriding my head, now it needs to stop once and for all. Day 31. Today. Miss her greatly. Hope she's happy with my "friend". I keep Zorbas advice in my head about rebound relationships and know deep down she will be back soon. Until then I have to be strong, and not just physically speaking either, but then again I shouldn't be waiting for her, I should be moving on. Got alot of parties coming up in the month, the girls at all of them will keep my mind off her Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I'm on the verge of sending an email too. I'm gonna try not to do it though. I don't think you should either. At least wait and see how he is at the picnic. Maybe once you see him, you won't feel the need to email anymore. yes, you are probably right feelinblu, I am at a loss of what even to say in it truthfully. I will see him most likely tomorrow, so I guess I'll get a better clue as to his frame of mind. I'm nervous about it, honestly. I want there to be peace between us, and love between us. I'm a little scared. Link to comment
bramage Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Day 6.. It seems like a lot longer, and Im healing faster than I thought. Im much closer to even being albe to have a conversation with her, but it doesn't matter, because Im going the 30 days, contact or not. And by then, I should be rollin nice all on my own HEHE Link to comment
house259 Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 day 6 no contactt except last night i sent him a text saying 'i hope we can b friends' he responded in "i hope someday we can be more than that" but im not falling for it. today i feel sad but im really loooking forward to getting better. Link to comment
feelinblu Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I'm a complete mess. I had the most horrible night last night. Up until last night I had only cried once (Since May 23rd when we split). I bawled my eyes out last night while driving home from work, and almost ran my car off the road while doing it (not on purpose). I feel like I've been run over by a truck. This is horrible, and I just wish I understood why this all happened. I feel like I could accept the outcome of all of this if I just had an understanding as to why. Link to comment
bramage Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 day 6 no contactt except last night i sent him a text saying 'i hope we can b friends' he responded in "i hope someday we can be more than that" but im not falling for it. today i feel sad but im really loooking forward to getting better. Thats not NC!!! Dont be a noob@! Link to comment
LW4E Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I'm in the middle of the second day of No Contact, I haven't spoken to her in person since about 11:40 PM on July 1st, and the last time I made any contact was just before midnight on the same day, it was a simple E-Mail telling her that I wouldn't be available to watch her sister the next day like she just natuarally assumed I would be, she responded to the E-Mail shortly after midnight simply said "Sh*t, okay." I didn't respond. Second day and I'm feelin' fine, I'm keeping a journal about my NC in the journals section (Obviously.) I update it every night at around midnight and I try to keep it pretty detailed as to what I did to pass the time and how I was feeling. Of course, like anybody else, I try to get out of the house and be with friends because that really helps. My journal is at this link: I am one who vows that under no circumstance (Unless something terrible happened to her) I will not break NC until I am healed and able to cary on my life with or without her. Oh, and just so you're informed, my situation is a bit unique, my ex has an internet/msn addiction and has constantly put her friends second to the internet, and even worse... second to her internet friends, so I'm not the only one going NC with my ex... all of her friends are too, not like it matters though... the internet is her life, she can live without human contact... but she would die on the spot the moment somebody took her precious internet away. I'm rambling, check out the journal... Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Day 12, tomorrow is the big day...I'm told there are going to be tons of people around, so chances are good the contact may not end up being more than a "hi, how are ya" and that's it. Weird thing is, I just feel like something is undone with us. I feel like there are things left unsaid, it all feels open ended somehow...not settled. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, and that's what scares me. Link to comment
DJC Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Day 14 Have to go for various medical tests today, but the doctor has told me they are most likely stress related... I wonder why... Link to comment
Abbie Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Day 42 ... ... every day is now getting harder and harder. I don't know why everything is going backwards. I have been away for a couple of days but at some point he put the cd's that I left in our car (which he now has) through my letterbox. Link to comment
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