THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Mustang]

Day 1

 

We were texting each other on Monday night. We were getting on well. I fell asleep and missed a text from her. I replied yesterday when I woke up and she ignored it. I know that it shouldn't bother me but it does. I didn't say anything horrible. I just seem to be there when it suits her. She seems to blow hot and cold. One minute I think we're making progress and getting on and the next she ignores me and I feel like utter * * * * again. She always avoids telling me anything when I ask her. I am not being intrusive. I only asked her if she had any summer plans after telling her what I am up to over the summer and she ignored me.

 

I miss her so much. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I want her to want to speak to me. I want her to value my friendship. But I don't think she really cares.

 

I am keeping myself busy and going out as much as I can but after seven months I still want to be with her. My ex has noticed the changes I have made in my life and has told me she is pleased but that just frustrates me even more. It's made me realise that the whole situation is hopeless. Yes, I have made changes and I have a lot of exciting prospects. I have made a lot of contacts and I am really excited about my future. That is true. But I am so miserable without her in my life. She doesn't know this and I sure as hell can't tell her.

 

I just have to leave it. I lasted a month before so let's see if I can go longer this time.

[dqueen]

I did it!!!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!

 

Abbie, I'm going to respond to your question in a few. It's been a gut wrenching day and I need to jump in the bath to calm my nerves a bit. *tries to breathe*

[GoldenHillGuy]

Ok gang. We're starting over. We've only talked 2 times since our breakup, and sent 2 texts and a few emails. After our 4.5 hour convo on Saturday, moving her stuff out, and me breaking down a bit. She said she'd keep in touch, and would like to get to know me again in time. Anyways, I've made my feelings known. THAT'S IT! NC all the way. She's gonna have to come begging me back. DAY 3 is almost over!

[KaylaJoy]

Day 1

 

I miss her so much. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I want her to want to speak to me. I want her to value my friendship. But I don't think she really cares.

 

But I am so miserable without her in my life. She doesn't know this and I sure as hell can't tell her.

 

 

Wow. This is exactly how I feel. Amazing to me sometimes that you feel like you are the only one that can possibly feel this way, then you come to ENA and find dozens!

 

Day 26 for John. He texted me this morning, but I did not reply. Something about thanking for the card, and there was still so much to do yet, not sure if he was referring to his dad's death, or his impending wedding. Don't want to know. Almost to 30!

 

As for Mark, day 13, ( not including bumping into him at the picnic Monday which I couldn't avoid). I know he's not giving me a second thought. He knows my son's biological father was injured very badly last week, and he has never even called to see how he's doing, even though he's met him several times. That's not even a friend, let alone someone who still has feelings for me. That is hard for me to swallow. OK if he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but we shared so much it seemed, why couldn't he still treasure my friendship? Why couldn't he just CARE?? Why can't he give just a little crap about me? or even my son?

Sucks.

[Abbie]

Day 7 ...

 

... last night was a low night. I had planned to be very productive as there's loads of things in the house that need done as I've been neglecting the chores recently but I lacked motivation and just ended up watching tv all evening in order to distract myself from thinking about him. I kept on torturing myself by fantasising about him coming back to me and how he would do it and what I would say. It only made me cry and feel more upset as I knew I was deluding myself.

 

I've discovered that hope is a double edged sword. Sometimes it lifts me up as I'll know we'll be together again. Sometimes it makes me depressed as I realise he'll never be back and hoping and wishing is a waste of time. It's stopping me actually moving on and every day of hoping is a day wasted.

 

Today, I will be productive and healthy.

[GoldenHillGuy]

I played water polo last night. I swam some laps after that. I feel great today. Exercise really does make you feel better about yourself. I know my ex noticed how good I looked when she last saw me. She told me how impressed she was on the changes I've made. I guess this is DAY 4. Should be a good one too.

[donescobar2000]

Day 1...we got into an argument yesterday which I told her not to respond to me if when I asked if we both have a commong goal(working it out). I responsed 20 minutes later or so saying...Do not answer me...it is cool.

 

Reason for the argument...she asked how would I break it to her if I told her I was likeing another girl. Made me feel like she is fishing for something or wants me to move on. Off of this we argued and she said I took her words out of context! I told her I was not activly looking for anyone and do not intend on it.

 

Have not heard from her since 11 am yesterday.

 

I refuse to contact her...I feel I kissed up to her to much.

 

I would like to do something today...but I do not know what to do...I may just do some writing and recording of music.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 27 for John...almost to my 30...am really missing his friendship today. So much going on in my life. Day 14 for Mark. So sad about that.

My son's dad not doing well, still on respirator, now has pneumonia....worried about him...it's been a very emotional, roller coaster kinda day...just want to go to bed and cover up my head.

[jiangkejia]

Broke NC these days. Not many emotional stuff trafficking in our convo.

[Degan]

Night 1:

She is pissed that I don't want to talk to her and that she did nothing wrong. Told her "its me, not you" when I referred to that I didn't like who I was while around her. When I was friends with her I never really moved on even when I asked out other women.

 

There is one great thing from that conversation she said " that's the oldest line in the book" which I found hilarious.

[Abbie]

Day 8 ...

 

... I feel like I'm sinking rather than rising. Each day seems to be getting harder rather than easier. I wish I could have an indication that this was working and he was missing me, although I realise that this is only day 8 and I need to be patient. I'm desperate to contact him but I know it's a bad idea and I will have to start NC all over again. He's all I can think about. I'm just hoping that I'm all he can think about but it's doubtful as he's living with someone else now.

 

I feel so pathetic as I don't understand why I can't just snap out of it. I wish I could fast forward 6 months so I could skip this painful journey. I'm convinced that I am the one holding me back. I know what I have to do, i.e. exercise, eat healthy, be productive etc. For some reason though, I am stopping myself doing these things and I don't understand why. Am I subconsciously enjoying being so miserable? I just keep wishing and hoping things were different which is a total waste of time. Actions speak louder than words so I just need to get my finger out and actually start doing something.

[Samurai]

Day 11 for me. My last contact was following up on us going to see a movie, which she couldnt make. Decided to go full NC after that. I'm not going to chase her around, I have more dignity than that.

[Panda2008]

Back to day 1 today, although I will have to speak to him on day 14 as he still hasn't moved out of the flat, and he is cat sitting while I am on a trip in a fortnight's time.

 

We had a bit of an email row yesterday, I lost my temper because he's still swanning around rent free at his mum's while I'm having to pay double rent and get the second bedroom ready for a tennant (all his stuff is taking up space). Plus he has moved on much faster than me and I don't think it's fair that I still have to look at all his stuff, reminding myself he's never coming back.

 

He told me he was looking for somewhere to live and when he finds a flat he will move out. But that could be forever! If he's staying at his mum's there's no rush to move out... I need to move on like he has. Sooner the better!

 

Anyway, he said 'I don't know why you're getting so sh*** all of a sudden' and I sent a long email back, basically stating the above and got no reply. I bet he didn't even read it.

 

Back to the drawing board.

[GoldenHillGuy]

Day 5. What a drastic change from Day 4. I'm messed up today. Couldn't sleep at all last night. Now that most of her stuff is gone, I guess its hitting home more. Our last conversations leave me guessing more and more. I'm reading into things, over analyzing things. Its gonna be a rough day.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 28 for John, although he texted me yesterday, and I found out today that he emailed me yesterday as well. Very mixed emotions, not sure what to do.

Day 15 for Mark. Found out he's in Washington DC with his brother....lots of sadness there too...

Just need to climb out of this pit of unhappiness somehow!! I hate it, and I know God has a better plan for me than this!!

[Landon]

wait both of them are ur exes 2 weeks apart?

[Samurai]

Day 12, went out clubbing last night on my own, which was kind of hard to do, but at least I got out there. Bumped into a couple of old friends who I hadn't seen in ages while I was at the bar, so wound up having a cool night anyway. Just goes to show, you can't predict what will happen

[donescobar2000]

Day 3

 

Everyone...I have not been motivated to do much of anything but I somehow manage to pick myself up.

 

A NOW mutual friend said she spoke to her and told her "He and I are friends right now and that is working for the best now."

 

Not much hope there...

[Degan]

I broke contact after I unblocked her, so she could vent off her steam since she thought I was mad and hated her. She still assumes I hate her after explaining it 2 days ago. Thankfully I got a full day off yesterday.

[Mustang]

Not spoken to my ex since Monday. It's not really a big deal anymore. I miss her and still think of her but I have nothing to say to her anymore.

 

See my other thread about possibly seeing her next weekend... I am trying to avoid contact until then at least.

[KaylaJoy]

wait both of them are ur exes 2 weeks apart?

 

nope, one is an ex from two years ago...still in love with him...that's Mark.

John is the ex from this past year, that was officially cut off a couple of days after Valentine's Day. Long story, but John started off as a friend who was supposed to be helping me get over Mark. We started dating, eventually he wanted to get married but I still had feelings for Mark. I said no. I cared deeply for him, loved dating him, but deep inside I knew I was still in love with Mark. So then 11 weeks after Valentine's Day John tells me (via a text message) that he's engaged to the one woman he swore he'd never date. Then couldn't understand why I was so bewildered. Wanted to be friends, but that included I had to hear all about him and her, and I just can't do that. Too much hurt. So I went into hiding, aka "NC".

Mark and I go years and years back, even before we had a relationship two years ago. I'm 39 years old and no one has ever broken my heart the way Mark has. Enough said. I've put up with all kinds of crapola from him because of how much I loved him, he knew I loved him, at one point he had feelings for me, but that was long ago. I have finally decided that the end of "us" as we know it has finally arrived. I can't be his punching bag anymore, his ego feeder, his comfy warm blanket to wear only when he's cold. I'm miserable that way, sucking it up just so I can have him in my life. THAT's why I'm in NC over him.

[Samurai]

Day 13

Been listening to Chris Isaak's album Forever Blue most of the day. No better album to listen to after a breakup imo.

[Serendipitous]

I did exactly 115 days of no (or very limited) contact.

and we've been back together for over 7 weeks now.

Uh oh he's waking up..... lol

[donescobar2000]

Day 4 -

 

I went to a Lounge last night with a female friend. Low and behold I found out my ex is coming too. I can not escape this girl. Once I told my friend about it she said danced with me more. Come to find out she did not see me.

 

Now I am at work pissed off...just thinking of how my ex how confused my ex has left me because she does not know what she wants (although she probably really does).

[Mock Chop]

Thursday night I knew it was over for good, no going back and no going forward together. All by email of course . I said some spiteful things borne of hurt. Saturday I sent a short email apologising for lashing out the way I did, that it was wrong of me to do so but that he had treated me badly and I was hurting. Email address then deleted.

 

His stuff is still here. I told him he had one week to collect it or it was being disposed of. I know there's stuff he wants back, so who knows. I've put his house key in an envelope with a short note. If he doesn't show to collect, then it gets posted but the rest of the stuff is going to a charity shop.

 

I am never contacting him again. I told him in the note that I needed to hang onto the belief that he truly did want the forever he claimed he did, but that there was something inside him that made it impossible for him to let it be. I know my hurt and pain will pass and that one day I'll be able to look back with fondess at the good we shared.

 

I loved him heart and soul. It's over, the man I fell so deeply in love with has gone and I don't know, nor want to know, the person who's taken his place.