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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71


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Day 7 since last I sent an email telling her all the things I never got a chance to say. Before that was 3 weeks since our breakup. So, I'm gonna say day 7. But she will have to contact me to get the rest of her things. So I hope that won't count against me. Been working on myself so much in my free time, work is the time when it really hits me. Anyways, its getting better, and I know next time I see her, I'll be a confident guy again, funny, happy, back to my swimmer's body. She'll regret ever doing me wrong. LOL Hang in there everybody. It only gets easier.

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well I do want to reply.

but we talked yesterday, and it's just a 'hi, how are you?' message

and I know this sounds mean, but lately I'm a little annoyed with her(or maybe frustrated is the word). She puts things in her myspace that make her look miserable (such as calling herself stupid, coward, etc.) and her picture icon for yahoo messenger is a drawn picture of 2 girls hugging (i'm a girl). And normally she would never never have a picture icon like that (she is not out).

So I'm frustrated that she's the one that broke up with me and she's the one displaying how miserable she is. -.-

 

and she's texted me twice today!

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Day 21 - 21 freaking days without seeing her, without talking to her. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far. I got my butt back to the gym today after about a 2 month layoff, which was as much do to a shoulder injury and tax season as it was to the divorce. It felt good, and I'm going to take a nice bath as soon as American Idol is over. Well, I guess a few minutes later, since its ending now. Overall a good day. I missed her, like always, and reserved the day to work on myself. That's more important to me right now. She knows I love her, she'll reach out to me if I want to. Still frustrated in my attempts to act out this other woman. I'm having trouble getting in touch and may resort to asking her out via e-mail. That's classy.

 

I had some drama with the ex-employee I fired yesterday. She took some swipes at me that I think were unfair. This woman makes my ex look stable. She is a mess of problems, and won't take responsibility for them. She had some valid points, IMO, but mostly she was going the "poor me" route.

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Day 3. I felt miserable today. I get waves/pangs of lonliness. I KNOW he is never going to call me. He's that way. I sent him a text last Friday about a book I had loaned him that is actually my mother's (need it back)... and then had a HUGE mix-up later that night with the previous ex, who I had given my cell number the day before (finally, after over 6 months of NC), but hadn't programmed in, with an ambiguous text from previous ex, and of course, because I'm an idiot and had erased current ex's number from phone to make it harder for me to call... yeah, so I basically blew my cover because both these guys know each other (co-workers), but only current ex knows about previous ex. Previous ex probably now has strong suspicion/knows because text mix up included "hey, yeah, and I'm playing pool with one of your league buddies... and M [previous ex] is right behind me. Interesting." And I sent this to M. Because I'm an idiot and didn't check the numbers carefully. And M knows current ex is in a pool league. IDIOT!! ](*,) LOL

 

So I programmed M as M, and programmed current ex as "Ass Clown" for the time being. And I'm NC-ing BOTH!! HA ha!

 

M "dumped" me in a most horrendious, cruel fashion last Oct.. I guess for him, "breaking up" is his way of communicating that he has problems with the relationship. He obviously didn't really want to break it off, just did it in a fit of anger (he'd done it two weeks before but called a few hours later). I called his bluff this time 'round though. He proceeded to parade around this ex of his (some white trash sleeze who is still MARRIED) less than a week after we broke up. I work with this guy. I immediately went NC, and not only that, would not even acknowledge his existence at work for the last 6 months. I literally gave him the "Cut Direct" (look this term up if you are not familiar w/it, it's a great addition to NC if someone has acted so deplorably towards you that not even acknowledging them if they talk to you would not be considered rude. I did it so that I would not react emotionally at work.) Luckily I could do that without it effecting my job. And most people didn't blame me, after the "performance" he and his little girlfriend put on at the company Christmas party in Dec. (she was all over him, I think because of my presense... I am not vain but I am about two or three leagues above her).

 

I called last week to find out if he still had something of mine (he threw it away. Creep). I got a profuse apology, a surprise for me, and I found out that she was a tool to try and make me jealous, and also a rebound for him (he actually admitted the rebound thing, CLAIMED that it wasn't to make me jealous, but I know better). He is practically prostrate on the ground trying to get my attention, telling me how he's been working on being a better person, etc. ... aaaahhh... thanks, but no thanks.

 

NC is easier the second time around.

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Day 28

 

So I've done a month. Go me. It doesn't really mean anything other than I have at least proven I am strong enough to try and move on.

 

As I've mentioned many times in the past, I do still think of my ex and I don't think I am in a position to be with anyone else but I also think that getting back with her now would be too soon. So I am going to carry on with NC. I do still think about contacting her but as the days go by, the more important contact has to be. Right now, I have no idea what to say to my ex.

 

I do feel like I've made some progress. Not sitting by my phone waiting for replies has made it easier to keep my mind on other things.

 

Of course I wonder if she's thinking about me. I could just be a distant memory now. She's probably not missing me at all. As far as I am aware she's with someone else and the last thing she said to me was that she doesn't regret her decision. Which is a shame for her really because I am so so so excited about my future. I can suddenly see my career panning out the way I've always wanted it to.

 

Let her have her ugly Scottish boyfriend and her terrible degree... Bitter? Me? Nah.

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