THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[pumpkinmoon]

Thanks, but you know what happens when I do hypnotherapy!

 

"Start spreading the news...."

 

..."I'm leaving today"

[pumpkinmoon]

I think I'll take this challenge too.

 

Good luck to you, it's hard but mush more possible that you believe at first

[cr44hill]

Well, I broke NC last night, I sent her an email just seeing what was going on. She had an interview last week so I asked how it went, it was just an excuse to email her. She had a friendly but of course standard issue reply this morning. I was literally at a breaking point last night, I had to contact her and gave in. But it did give me my fix, for how long, probably not long, a few days. So, at the point, i've gone with a 17-day NC, and this was just a 19-NC.

 

I'm not signing up for the challenge again for awhile. I don't know what my next step is, continue trying to move on, but I almost feel like I put too much pressure on myself, nahh, I just am having a * * * * * of a time getting over her. I will be back here to establish a new NC streak, hopefully in the near future. To everyone out there in NC, a hardy congrats, I really admire you.

[Mustang]

Only a few minutes until my longest period of NC yet. Woo! Go me.

[pumpkinmoon]

Only a few minutes until my longest period of NC yet. Woo! Go me.

 

New York, New York!

[hfc65]

Day 24

[bronte]

Day #28 and officially mid-April...

 

In some ways I feel like I'm starting a whole new phase of things today, because before now I could keep myself from contacting him because he knew I wasn't supposed to talk to him until mid-April--So I would have looked pretty pathetic if I had given in before then. He would have known that I was incapable of going without talking to him...and I wasn't about to give him that kind of ego boost! (Bad enough he knows I still have feelings for him when he's completely moved on and has a new gf...)

 

But now I'm going to try to maintain NC when he's actually expecting me to get in touch with him and when I could do so without looking too pathetic, under the guise of being "just friends"...*takes deep breath* This could be hard!

[EyesOnThePrize]

Day 7. The longest we've been apart in 9 years. I wonder if she's realizing that, too (probably, if I mentioned it to her, she'd say something about how OCD I was. It was also April 15, so the tax deadline helped keep my mind off her. I think about her a lot, and not with so much sadness. I miss her a lot, too, especially as I type this. And I also realize that we're going to be apart for a long time, maybe forever. In fact, I'm beginning to get used to the assumption that we're going to be apart forever, at least as lovers. I know she wants to be friends, and I think that I can reach that level at some point. I think that once I get to the point where I can think of another relationship, being her friend will not be a challenge. There will always be that part of me that will wonder what might have been, and she is such an amazing person I hope that she is in my life in one way, shape or form forever.

 

I had my nightly chat with her last night, and I got some things off my chest. I told her how frustrated I was about how she left the house when she left. I told her how I was beginning to think she had BPD, and I hoped that one day she would get treatment. I told her about things I was discovering about myself, and thanked her for giving me the kick in the pants to go on this journey.

 

This morning I woke up to my alarm, which may not sound impressive, however I keep waking up 1/2 hour to 1 hour before my alarm almost every morning. Actually getting a deep enough sleep to make it all the way to the alarm was quite refreshing.

 

Mood-wise, I'm pretty good. I'm realizing that I may have a lot of anger bottled up inside me. I want to talk to my therapist about good ways of letting that out. I've talked a couple of times about how I know how to hit a nerve and then really twist the knife, and I think a lot of that comes from my bottled up anger. Its also probably causing me other problems, and I don't want them anymore...hey, that's one of my signs...."I don't want that anymore...but I forget often."

 

The journey continues.

[pumpkinmoon]

Day 25, 5 more days to go

 

Not feeling to bad today. Hope all of you are doing ok

[littlej]

Day 34 feelin good, she emailed but I didn't open it (yet). I will not be responding, I came too far to get set back.

[pumpkinmoon]

If you do respond I'll hit you with my shoe

[littlej]

If you do respond I'll hit you with my shoe

 

Ok, please not the shoe!

[pumpkinmoon]

what about the other shoe?

[pumpkinmoon]

Just discovered I'm a silver member, not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed

[Mustang]

Day 14

 

My longest period of NC to date. I don't really have any urges to contact her. As I've explained before, I think telling my ex that I was going NC has helped because I know that if I contact my ex again I will look like I've cracked. Where as if I hadn't told her, I could contact her anytime and I would always be thinking of things like "What should I say? When should I say it? etc".

 

My only regret is that I gave her a huge ego boost in my final email to her. I told her that I couldn't be friends because I still cared about her. So, in her mind, I'm not speaking to her because I am still upset about everything and I am heartbroken that she's not with me. Which is annoying because I really wish she knew how angry I am with her. She thinks she's got away with everything and she is no doubt enjoying her time with her new guy thinking that her ex is still "there".

 

I know we're not using NC to get their attention but part of me wishes I'd just disappeared because I'm sure my ex won't worry about me not contacting. She'll assume it's because I am hurt still. She expects me to contact her when I'm OK and happy. So the longer it goes on, the bigger her ego gets. It won't make her wonder what I'm up to.

[mankow]

My fifth round of NC started Saturday. Well message sent before shutting down phone. Erasing number works if you don't know the number already too well.

Day 5th

Same ol' same ol'

[hfc65]

Day 25

 

Feeling blue

pissed off at the world

 

don;t know why

[pumpkinmoon]

It's the early hours of day 26. Not sure what I feel really, all I know is that I need to get to 30. Then I think I will be able to better decide what to do. I have felt like contacting him today but I haven't not sure whether its the 30 day rule that makes it seem so wrong or what Don't think NC is working for me though so I think im gonna do LC soon

[pumpkinmoon]

Day 25

 

Feeling blue

pissed off at the world

 

don;t know why

 

hope you're not feeling too bad. If there is anything you need to talk about then you can x

[hfc65]

Thank you,I'll be ok

I keep passing places we used to go and thinking bout her and getting mad

[AronSchneider]

Day 25, 5 more days to go

 

Not feeling to bad today. Hope all of you are doing ok

 

Day 21, 9 days to go before I break the NC-period!

 

My first NC lasted for 11 days, but it was just because I went for skiing, and was out drinking the day after she broke with me.

[pumpkinmoon]

Day 21, 9 days to go before I break the NC-period!

 

My first NC lasted for 11 days, but it was just because I went for skiing, and was out drinking the day after she broke with me.

 

You're definitely breaking it after 30?

[EyesOnThePrize]

Day 8...finished our taxes today and sent them to her. She called to talk about it. I didn't take the call, but it was nice to hear her voice on the voice mail, and even nice to hear a little bit about her life there. Its also nice that she wasn't asking for help from me with anything, in fact she thanked me for everything I had done. It would have been nice to hear her say "I miss you", and at the same time I think she was saying that when she said "I'll call you later", and just in the fact that she could have e-mailed me and not called.

 

I had my nightly talk with her before I went to sleep, I even brought up in it that I might not keep the talks going indefinitely, because I needed some space, and that I still had to concentrate on me. I talked about us being apart for 7 days, the longest we'd been away from each other in 9+ years. I was really tired during the talk, and not at all sure I was lucid for all of it. Good thing I was the only one there!

 

I'm not obsessing about what she's doing anymore, or about her relationship. Those are her issues, I have enough to worry about in my own life. Today was mostly relaxing at work, I shut my brain down a bit for the day after tax season. Overall, I'm doing well. I got some supplies for my garden, took my house mate to work, started a new book, and tonight I'm going to watch a movie. Nice and relaxing, the way I like life.

[AronSchneider]

You're definitely breaking it after 30?

 

My ex after five years dumped me the 17 Marsh after a trip in Asia that lasted for five weeks. I haven’t seen her in person since 12 February when she left backpacking for Asia. We have talked on the phone four times under that period. Three times was related to the break up. One when she broke with me, one 11 days after when I called her about my stuff and then two days after just to see if it was okay to meet that weekend to get my things. She later cancelled it; saying that she had not the energy to meet me and that she was I’m sorry.

 

The reason why she didn’t wanted to see me was that I logged in to her Hotmail and saw that she had been unfaithful in Asia. Something she didn’t tell me after the break up even when I asked her about it and was okay with it just so we could be friends, have good and clean ending of all this. I think she also feel a lot of guilt about this, now when she knows that I know.

 

My goal is still to have her back. I was unfaithful to her in our relationship, but that for five years ago and she took me back.

[littlej]

Day i dont know 35 i think. But I feel great. I hope it lasts all day. Came to a lot of realizations lately. I no longer feel like it was all my fault. A few weeks ago I did and I beat myself up about it. I am a much better person than my ex and her man because I spent all this time working on myself and it shows. I am on top of my game and if she were to see me now she would see obvious changes. But she does not deserve them. I think she is starting to realize the error she made because she contacts me now. I still get excited when she does so but play it cool and dont respond/ answer.