THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[rjm0827]

Day 20

 

I dont think about her or the situation that much anymore. I do miss her though and want to contact her. I honestly dont think I want her back but then again i'm not too sure anymore. I will contact her eventually but i'm trying to make it a month with complete NC first though. I dont get down and lonely but some days, like today, I wonder what would happen if I called just to see how things are going.... I've been going out a lot but when I talk to other girls I just find myself thinking about her sometimes, not all the time. Wish I could just meet someone else and move on.

[wyrllish]

Should I let him know that I am ok with my health or should I go with the idea that if he was really concerned about my health he would make an effort to know?

 

His message indicated to me that I should call him back when I feel up to it and let him know what is going on. Personally, I think this is BS because if he really wanted to know, he would call and say look I want to hear from you and make sure everything is ok.

 

Instead he leaves it up to me. Shows the lack of care on his part in my opinion.

 

Imo, I agree with what you think and wouldn't call him to let him know.

[littlej]

Day 11

 

I feel great and I don't know why. I have had my ups and downs but right now I feel like "Who needs her anyway?" For those of you who don't know, she went back to her old BF that she says isn't right for her?! (they dated for three months and broke up due to his immature attitude) With her lies and deceit who needs that? I found out she went back to him via a third party. Without getting into details I think she didn't want me to find out to keep me on the back burner just in case things went sour. I just want to be strong enough so if/when she does contact me I do not crumble and be the shoulder to cry on.

 

Staying strong!

[hisgirl0507]

wish me luck guys!kinda dreading it but i know its for the best and need to see if he makes an effort when i stop trying to contact and also i need to get stronger.

[jamieboy]

day 8 for me, moving away in a week so that should help with the no contatact! well hopefully!!

[Ixtapa]

Day 6

 

....feels like ages and its only day 6

[Hosvius]

well today is two weeks and a couple of days since i last talked to my ex. but my mother received a call from her saturday stating happy easter etc. and to call her back.my mom called her back today and asked her how was ur easter etc. long story short my ex broke down crying saying she missed us etc. I WANT TO CALL HER SOOOOO BAD! what should i do?!?!?!? march 27 which is two days away is the 1 year anniversary when her father died i was thinking on calling her that day acknowledging it and ask her if she would like to get a bite to eat and talk etc. i just want to call her and find out whats going on so i can begin to reconcile!! please help me on what to do guys i need advice!!!!!!!!!

[hisgirl0507]

just thought id post on here cos really tempted to contact right now.It has officially been over 24 hours since i last tried to contact him but not yet a full day of nc from today.its so hard but im determined to do this,just need to take it a day at a time.

 

does anyone else find its at certain times of the day when you are at your weakest and want to contact?Just cos it always seems to be late afternoon/early evening time for me for some reason.

[rjm0827]

day 21, 3 weeks finally. just 1 more week till it's been a month.

[Irish Jax]

To repeat, I have already made it through thirty days if you see earlier posts. We have spoken a few times since then and honestly I realized it doesnt help at all. It just confirmed for me how miserable I felt when I was with him. He called again today asking me to call him to update him to let him know I am ok ( I had minor surgery done this past weekend). When I had initially talked about it with him, he barely listened to me and wanted to get back to what he was doing. Like always, he is his own number 1 concern. Since then he has tried twice to get an update on me, from me. I have given all of this information to a mutual friend whom my ex has called as well, but still calls me.

 

I realize he is only calling for a selfish reason and that is to make sure I am not mad at him. His biggest fear, even when we were together, is being on bad terms with me. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of calling him back. I left all the info with my friend and he can get it all from him. I think he will get the impression I want to be left alone. Talking to him does not help me. I get upset and frustrated when I talk to him, and I dont feel good after I talk to him. Thats why I want to remain NC for as long as it takes for me to fully let him go.

 

If anyone disagrees let me know. As hard as it is for me not to answer him, I know I am doing myself a favor in the long run.

[LilBear]

Day 66 then.

 

People...NC means not responding to any form of contact. Remember this.

If you're not going to initiate any contact but will respond any form of contact, that's not NC, that's LC.

[Volkslad]

Day 5 round 2. Bad day, but I've had worse. M'eh.

[sngrmom75]

Okay, okay...

I'm at day one al over again.

I wrote to him yesterday telling him that I was letting go... Not giving up, but letting go of all the hope I've had. I told him not to write me and tell me "I think of you every day... all day" because it's obviously not true. I told him not to tell me he still loves me because his actions have spoken much louder than his words... and I told him that as soon as our baby is born I'm filing for divorce. I let him know that if any conversation were to happen regarding our marriage it would have to be initiated by him. I know I need to stick with this. I HAVE to stop hoping that he'll show up at my door or that he'll call and cry to me and tell me he realizes what he's doing... Because the fact is he either DOESN'T realize what he's losing or he REALLY doesn't love me anymore... And either way it's time for me to start planning my life as a soon-to-be single mom...

I feel better, in a way, but I also feel worse... Like a deflated balloon...

[Azucar]

Day 3 Still in progress...I don't find comfort in knowing it's 10pm or 3am....he could call at any time...we are both night owls and he's done it before....the anxiety doesn't ease any...not during the day...not at night....

 

I've discovered Tylenol PM is wonderful....

 

I can't wait for the day when I can go to bed or wake up and not think about him and feel my heart ache...literally ache...I know that day will come...I just want it here now.

 

Funny how....I've been through breakups...ones I never thought I could get over...and you do...you don't know when it happens...it just does....but I am finding it hard to find the strength to truly believe this is going to be okay....

 

I need to prepare myself for when he calls...because he will...this I know....and that is when I really need to be strong...strong enough not to go back...I feel sick.

[demonic-cookie]

Day 13-15:

 

Really sad days since I'm associating them with last year and our amazing Europe trip. Also, someone has told me that they're already exchanging "I love yous" and she told her best friend she "would marry him" (she's 15!!!). Kind of sad, since I know he doesn't say I love you without meaning it, but still. That's kind of pathetic that she's so immature and he's going along with it.

 

I'm really depressed about everything. What do you guys suggest in terms of upping my self-esteem for going back to school tomorrow?

[Ixtapa]

Day 7

 

Feeling pretty good today...about to go see my best friend and her 2 month old baby. Spending time with people I love definitely helps

[hisgirl0507]

made it through day 1.today will be hard cos hes back at work and this is when he used to text me most so its almost like im expecting to hear from him but even if i dont i need to be ok with that and try to remember im doing this for my own sanity.also trying to figure out what to do if he calls or texts.think i might just not answer today,give him a taste of his won medicine for a change!

[Stella Sleepwalks]

Its his birthday on Monday. We were going to go to this club in Manchester..... Thought about calling him, but I thought:

 

1) We broke up the daybefore my birthday and he never called me

 

2) Let him do NOTHING all alone on his birthday! None of his friends ever have time for him, so let him think about what he could have had that day with me! Let him miss me.

[bronte]

On Day #8...and I actually had to look back at my last post to see what the count is! I still think about him a lot, but not nearly as obsessively as I had been.

 

I've had "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles stuck in my head for the last couple of days. It was a rough winter but spring is definitely in the air!

[RaeKarma]

day 51

i cant believe its been that long since i have talked to him or seen his face.

i move in five days downtown. thank goodness... a chance to start anew.

i become an official EMT in a month. i have finally learned to live without him and im kinda proud

he comes back in eight weeks...just let time go

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED...and i am so grateful

[hisgirl0507]

im almost through day 2.but i cant stop thinking bout my ex and i am a bit upset cos i half expected to maybe hear from him today but nothing.im so scared that its going to put a wedge between us and we will not talk again for the next few months.i know i shouldnt be thinking like that cos as they say "thoughts become things" so im trying so hard to stop it and try and think logically like,hes working and he will contact when hes ready.im only initially trying to get through at least a week but at this rate i cant see that happening.part of me is probably doing this for some wrong reasons,like to get my ex to be more interested and make him contact me more.i must get through this week!just to feel stronger hopefully by the end of it if anything and maybe in that time he will contact but i need to stop EXPECTING him to.thats the hardest thing to get my head around is that,even though we have been contacting each other a lot before i have no right to ask him to contact me and i need to be ok even if he doesnt.im sure he will eventually and its only day 2 but if after a whole week i havent heard anything i will probably panic cos its not like him.oh well enough rambling for 1 night,im going to bed so i dont text him.hopefully il wake up with a better frame of mind tomorrow.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

When that baby is born you will fall in love harder and faster than you ever have before. It is a love you can not compare to any other, and you need to hold on to that. You need to look forward to, and be excited by that feeling, (although I know you're preoccupied), when you hold your baby in your arms you will start a brand new romance. Lots of first times that will last you a lifetime.

 

A tiny person who will love you as much as you love them. They will never fall out of love you and you will never fall out of love with them. They could never fall out of love with you, you're their mother.

[mankow]

Day #6

over

Starting Day 7th.

I made decision not to let myself into being sad again. However it looks impossible I am getting more clear in my mind now.

Even beginning to feel relaxed for the first time.

Decisions are very important and then you must stick to it.

[Azucar]

Day 4 in progress...going crazy...but handling it...booked a trip to Denver,Colorado to see my friend...booked a trip to Austin,Texas with some friends....picked up another day at work starting next week...started cleaning out my attic...baked banana nut bread...did all of this today...obviously trying really hard to not sit and think...I started to think about him and us today...and it was distorted...just kept thinking of the sweet and loving times, the laughs, the passion...and forced myself to stop and sit down and write down all of the reasons we are not together...wrote down a list of things he has done to make me sad or upset...I'll look at this list whenever I start to feel down and I think it should help me get motivated to move past all of this....

[SweetSmilingYeti]

Day 6 or seven or whatever. I'm not even paying attention anymore. I still get sad about my ex at times but not in the same way I used to. It's almost like a distant bittersweet memory. I miss my ex but he seems to be sooooooooo far away I know I will never want to reach him. Funny since I see him everyday.

 

the only little thing that keeps bugging me is what my ex will do at prom. I shouldn't care but I get those stabs in the heart when I picture him drinking or possibly having sex. Yuck! Oh well. I feel like I finally have my life so much better together than him or even when I was with him. I go out with friends and have made friends with new, better people that share the same way of thinking I do. Funny how the tables have turned in this whole break up thing. Yes, it still does feel like a competition but I am letting that go as well.

 

So my next goal (My first was learning how to NC the second to stop looking at him so much in class) is to stop competing with him. I need to stop doing that before I can truly let go of the anger I hold for him. Ah wish me luck. I feel like this one might take a while.