SCbunny Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I guess its sort of easy for me not to talk to him or see him since he is out of town in another state for this entire week. I guess it could be considered a business trip since it involves networking with people in his industry of business. Anyway, he went with his friend (who also does the same work). His friend is fun-loving, single, but not really attractive. However, I can't help but think everyday that they are meeting girls and taking them back to their hotel every night. I'm sure his friend is highly encouraging him to go out or whatever. I DO doubt all of this is happening though b/c 1) his friend isn't all that attractive, and 2) they are both pretty awkward around girls. But STILL I cant help but think about it! Link to comment
RaeKarma Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I think its rather normal to thinj that way. I still my ex is hookin up with some girl at his training camp while he is in georgia. i usually go study chemistry when those thoughts enter my head Link to comment
SamT Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 SCbunny, forget about these thoughts, he will be fine dont you worry! hes probally just thinking about you hehe RaeKarma, things might get better...but i wonder sometimes, if the acctual feeling will subside..that is - until its fulfilled by another girl Link to comment
RaeKarma Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 idk if that is the best idea u gotta learn to be on ur own again. its hard to be alone no doubt it hurts like crazy but when u get to that point u get a feeling of accomplishment and independence. but u can try the datin thing it might help Link to comment
deleted-account Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 this is my final post in this section of the site. It took me 7 months, but I'm finally over my ex. A few weeks ago something in my head just clicked and I was free. No part of me wants to be with her anymore. Sure, it would have been nice if it worked, but it didn't and I've accepted that. Many failed attempts at NC, but they all helped me heal. I learned something new every time. No matter what happens between us and our ex's, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Link to comment
gee Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Still day 27 in USA, Day 28 in China..haha Guys, I dont think I want to do this challenge anymore. I'm not saying I'm dropping out to call her because that is not my intention. Well, I would love for her to tell me lets get back..haha. Seriously, I don't know if I want to be doing this because it makes me even more sad when I write about it. I just want to completely forget about her..like she said to me. I just want to really let her go and move on. I miss having that person to share my life and love with. I really do!!! I know there are plenty of fish in the sea but there is only one fish I love the most and she kicked me out of her life. I'm still thinking about this challenge if it is best for me or not. I have hopes that she will be back but I am just lying to myself. I hope to bump into my other half someday. I miss that loving feeling! I hope everyone is doing well. I have missed a lot of stories here because of work. I hope to catch up. Honey, I sent you an email I hope you received it. Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 end of day 14 for me... two weeks down I'm doing ok, hung out with some friends - still talking/thinking about her all the time though When am i going to be able to move on with my life? It feels like its all happening so slow... i just want to call her and hear her voice but I know thats not a good idea. She is probably out having a good time - i guess i should try and do the same good night all... hope everyone is doing well Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 **HUGS to messenger** - you are a real trooper, you know that? gee - got your pm - I understand that you might want to drop out of the challenge - do what feels best to you...... gatorclaws - THANK YOU for your post!!!! Congratulations and good luck with your new future!!! Love the work going on between Rae and Sam - Rae you have a real knack for words. LILBEAR IS MY A-LIST GIRL SHE IS SO CLOSE!!!! GO LILBEAR!!! *cheering from the sidelines* Our new people - thank you for joining and posting. Your spirit is making this group stronger!!!! Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 WHOO HOO DAY EIGHT! I feel like I can do this for like 8 X 3957239579235792357 Days! The only hard part is my economics class because I sit close to him and I am surrounded by his douche bag friends. But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger I did have a little incident with his friend today. IN econ his friend tapped me in the shoulder. I thought about ignoring him but I am CIVIL so I turned around. I honestly thought he was going to ask what we were doing or something. NO! Instead he. smiling from cheek to cheek, asked me a question that still stings to this minute. He asked "Did you expect to marry (name)?" Yeah imagine your ex's friend (which you hate and don't talk to at all) ask you that. I haven't talked to my ex in 8 days and before then we had LC. I haven't really talked to him at all. I answered with a "Don't you think I am a bit too young to be thinking about that type of stuff?" He kept on smiling me and asked "Are you?" I just kind of nodded and turned around. Okay there is a possibility that my ex hasn't been talking about me but WHY THE HECK DID HIS FRIEND NEED TO ASK ME THAT?! I was having such a GREAT day and that little question knocked it down a couple of point sin the scale. He then decided to be funny and put little paper balls in my hoodie. I turned around and asked him if he was done being immature. He laughed and started to take them out. Grrr. I didn't cry or anything but I was bothered. I kept my composure until I got to art class and spilled to my teacher. She made me feel a million times better about it. People are so immature, I swear! I guess the lingering question is "Is my ex saying anything behind my back? If so, what is he saying that would make his friend ask me that?" I haven't talked to the guy in more than a week! I mean, he can't say I've been begging him or anything! Between you guys and I, this makes me more angry at him. It's like he is mocking what we had. Fine, it didn't work out. Oh well. but why mock it? My feelings were honest for goodness sakes! It just makes me regret that relationship so much. I THOUGHT I was going out with a mature guy but I got fooled. He just wanted to get in my pants. I was stupid enough to think he was different and let him. Oh well, I've learned my lesson. Link to comment
Volkslad Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Day 10..or it was. I broke NC today. We work together and being all mad at each other and not talking was an unnecessary burden..we DO have to spend 8 hours a day in the same place after all. I went to her desk at the end of the day today and said that I wasn't mad when I asked for space, it was just something I needed to do. I also said that I would always care for her, and would always be there if she needed me. She said thank you for coming over and saying that, and that she too would always care about me and do anything for me. That my friends, is some good closure. I'll talk to her, or not, and the world will keep turning. That said, if I hadn't given it 10 days of NC, I would not have been able to do it. Space is good. Link to comment
Jadewhisper Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Day 43! Oh, I feel tired. I had an okay day. I miss him still. I think it would be nice if he tried to contact me someday. I hope he's doing alright. I wouldn't want him to become bitter from this experience. I must assume that he is already over me and does not want to be in my life. Gotta keep movin' on. Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Bronte and Giz- You guys can do it! Trust me! Why do you want to contact him/her? You guys have to be honest with yourselves. Do you TRULY want somebody back that got another Significant other two days after the break up, Giz? NO. YOU ARE WORTH MORE. Tell yourself that. Relive that moment when you found out that she was dating somebody else. I know it seems silly to rethink about it but trust me, your brain is going to have to retell and retell your heart why you don't want that person back. The person you belong with would NEVER EVER make you feel that feeling. And Bronte, why do you still have him as a friend in Facebook? Delete him! I know you aren't looking at his site but I know, I KNOW that your heart skips a beat every time you log in because you hope he has put something up and your heart does a double skip when he does! That isn't healthy! No more of this! You are making excuses for not going total NC. Hon, I made similar excuses and that is what they are, excuses. You know, I have to sit next to my ex in a couple of my classes and to avoid glancing at him I put my hand on my cheek and that was my fingers act as a barrier between him and me. We have to stop making excuses for ourselves. We deserve way better people who truly love us! Keep it up guys! We can do it!...Gosh I can't believe I have gone 8 days. I want to go 80 days...800 days...8000000000000000000000000 million days! I can't wait till I don't have to see him! yay! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Bronte, why do you still have him as a friend in Facebook? Delete him! I know you aren't looking at his site but I know, I KNOW that your heart skips a beat every time you log in because you hope he has put something up and your heart does a double skip when he does! That isn't healthy! No more of this! You are making excuses for not going total NC. Hon, I made similar excuses and that is what they are, excuses. Wow, those are some tough words! Thank you for the support and the encouragement--you may be right that not defriending him on Facebook is not a good decision. That's definitely something I've been thinking about. The thing is, my ex was really unhappy about my decision to go NC. The only reason he has not been contacting me is because I told him that this break in communication would not be permanent. I don't know when or if I'll actually be able to talk to him again, but I DO know that if I defriend him now he will see it as going back on my word, contact me, and we will have another fight. And I just don't have the emotional energy for that right now. That may sound like an excuse, but I'm just trying to make the decisions that are right for me, that will give me the highest chance of success...and I think that fighting more with him and having to restart NC on bad terms would be far worse than feeling a moment's hope every morning that he'll make an appearance in my Facebook feed. *shrug* You're right that I need to make sure that Facebook doesn't become a "fix" for an addicted me, though...I'll definitely be careful about that. Done with Day #6... Link to comment
lexion Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 oh no, another weekend this morning i feel fine but now, i'm feeling a bit down, it's very hard not picturing my ex and her new bf i hope everyone is doing better than me Link to comment
Crows Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I guess NC ended for me. I had unblocked her to test my own strengh.. i'm not even sure if this counts as contact though. she comes on msn... and says "hey" I say nothing.. ten minutes later she says "wanna talk?" 5 minutes later I said "nope" She says "k.. sorry" and loggs off I FEEL SO GOOD!!!! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Yeti - So true. My head and heart have been battling it out all the way until this point. I guess where i went wrong in the relationship and didn't realize the pain i was going through at the time and where i hurt us, unfortunately like Mock Chop said, can't turn back time. It hurts but i have to deal with it somehow. I guess losing her is so much more difficult as i see all the losses i had to deal with in the last 1 1/2 years. I need to let go of my past to build my future but it hurts so much. I know over time it will heal and i will have many nights where i cry and go insane in my own head. I guess i just wish i could go back in the past and fix everything. But i can't. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 *cheers from the crowd* Yes Crows - that counts as breaking NC - but how can you feel bad when you handled yourself so WELL? I'd feel good too - so happy for you - you did it. It's interesting to me that so many people lose NC when only a few days away from completion. Something to think about..... Sweet - again another successful day for you even with the rudeness coming from your ex's friend. My feeling is if your ex is talking about you - he's the one who looks like a fool! You have so much composure and your real ammo comes in maintaining that. There is no better weapon than being unaffected by someone. lexion - I am worried about you - going to pm you in a bit about some things. My day is off to a great start again because of you guys. I could hardly get to sleep last night because I was so excited about everyone's progress!! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 i've been talking to this girl i met online and i think she's making me miss her even more is it possible? Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Yes, absolutely - that's why you need to be alone for awhile..... Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Of course it's possible lex. If anything reminds us about our ex's - i really do mean anything, then we are going to lapse and it is going to joggle our memory about something. It is natural. If that is the case, i would suggest you don't really date for a little while or if you do, preface it with a comment about how you are going through a rough break up and are not ready for something serious at the moment. You will eventually get through this. Good Luck. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 actually, it's not really a date, we just chat online and i've never chat with my ex they are very different person but i think she made me miss my girlfriend there's this one time, she made a joke, and at that time, i'm very sure that i miss my ex's joke do you think my ex is experiencing the same thing with her new bf? she's been through the same thing with me, and i think she just need a friend to talk and all what should i say to her? and i've lost count, is it day 7 or 8? should i restart the count? i think i need to restart, this feels like a drawback for me Link to comment
SamT Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 day 9 is it really day 9?!?! waw, that 5 days went faster than i thought im beginning to wonder wether i miss my ex for the company or for acctaully being in a relationship with her. sometimes i think i just miss hearing from her and talking about things i cant talk to others about. i know there are enough beautiful and intellegent women out there. and i think im doing well with my life, so everything should turn out right... i hope! lol p.s. lexion your on day 9 aswell mate. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 p.s. lexion your on day 9 aswell mate. hey, you've made my day really?i've been that long? hey, i feel kinda great Link to comment
lexion Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 i forgot one thing the negative of rebound is, we miss our ex and that we may disappoint our date, right? what if she's fine with this? Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I'm angry. I'd let him know about my foster dog. He sends an email just now saying "Why did you want another? Can you afford this?" Excuse me but what the HELL has it got to do with you. You removed yourself from my life and in doing so, forfeited all rights. I told you because I wanted you to know (he loved my other dog), I told you because I was doing something for me, because it felt right for me to do it. I didn't tell you so you could then ask me to explain my choices or decisions. I don't have to justify it or reassure you. I didn't say any of this. I merely asked why he was asking. I don't even know why I did that and didn't just ignore his ignorant questions. Link to comment
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