SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hmm this is a good point... It could be true Honey, but i guess i though that with time id grow to accept it and the thoughts would slowly fade away? Or should i be doing something differently right now to move on? Im not particularly looking to reconcile with her..not at this point at least..but i do miss the connection we had... Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Ah.. well that is a good sign. You are right time will heal those urges - maybe not "hoping" for them to go away - thus putting a time limit on things and being disappointed. I'm very excited for you all the same. I keep thinking of your snowboarding event. Are you able to get out to practice? Any indoor facilities or mountaintops to go visit? Not sure of the recources you have locally..... Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Yeah i guess ill just let them fade away naturally.. thanks Well at first i was really excited about going to NewZealand over summer...but then it wouldve cost me a whole lot of money...it would still go but im not sure if my mates are willing yet.. If i dont go there im Hoooping that ill be able to go to Austria instead, to this glacier and also do some mountain biking. I also just came back from France with University, it was a great laugh..pity i have to work now lol Link to comment
gee Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Day 23 Today I am more relaxed. I'm thinking about my trip and at the same time I am thinking of about her and her message she left me on my cell on saturday. I won't sweat it and like I said before I am sitting this one out. I'm tired of chasing, crying, and waiting for a response when an email or text is sent. I hate that feeling when you send your ex a text or email and they take their sweet time to reply. Waiting sucks! Now I have improved and she is noticing it even though she is not looking at me because I am not saying a word back to her! Someone said, Silence is powerful and it makes a point (something like that)! I have started doing that in 2 occasions in one week. I am not playing games I'm just looking out for myself that is all. She knows what she has to do if she wants to get my attention if she decides she wants me back. Patience my friends! I am leaving tomorrow at 6am, UGH! I will try to see how everyone is doing and I will try to let everyone know how I am, as well. Keep your head! G. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 'Silence is the greatest power phrase of all.' When you don't have anything to say, choose silence When you want to punctuate a point, choose silence When you can't be heard over the noise, choose silence When everything has been said, choose silence "Some words create agitation. Some words result in questions. Some words cause confusion. True Power phrases result in silence." -is the quote your looking for I know what u mean about waiting for a response aswell! I wont chase anymore either. Im done with it. Now is the time for myself....despite how long it took me to realise. p.s. good luck with your trip mate! hope all goes well! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 On Day #2...Today my mother took me out for lunch and shopping as an early birthday present. It was nice to get out of my apartment for a while, but she also questioned why I'm going NC for so long with my ex--she agrees that he's been a jerk but also thinks that I'm just causing myself pain by not talking to him at all when he's generally one of my closest friends. She was basically saying that I should see how I feel after a couple more days and rethink things... I was frustrated that she didn't seem to understand why I think I need to force myself to do this for at least a month, even if it IS painful for me. Yes, interacting with him makes me happy, even when it's just as friends--but as long as I have unrequited feelings for him, it also sets me up to be hurt later. So I'm standing firm... *sigh* Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Wow - how brave. Thank you for taking a stand, bronte. You could just tell her a month is not a long time.....kind of irks me she's not 100% supporting you, but oh well. She's your mother and hates to see you hurting, so I understand that. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 nice bronte...i wish i had gone nc straight away. do whatever you feel is right. I think everyone took some time to question what was right for themselves. What your mum is saying isnt totally wrong. But you are correct about setting yourself up to be hurt later on. You have your head screwed on thats for sure p.s. hope you saw our welcome posts! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Thanks, you guys...and a belated thank you for the warm welcome! I did tell her a month wasn't that long...I think she's partially reacting to the really bad timing around my birthday, she doesn't like to think of me as sad on what's supposed to be a happy day. And Sam, I didn't actually go NC "straight away"--though I wish I had! My ex and I have been in near constant contact since our breakup in November, with him giving me a lot of signals that he was still romantically interested and might be interested in trying again. Then last week I found out that he's seeing someone else, and we had a big fight in which he claimed that we've been on a strictly friends basis for months and that he had no idea I still had feelings for him. Hence the need to finish getting over him...I wasn't 100% certain I wanted to reconcile, but it hurts to know that he no longer feels anything for me at all. And of course it hurts to think of him with someone else. I need time away to get used to these things. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Whaw... i feel my reflection in so many people on this site. Same thing happened to me too. At least you know now what i best for yourself Give it time bronte, and keep posting x Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Ok in a hour and a half, I will be on day 24 NC. I noticed that the addiction to the relationship is starting to wear off.. I get urges to call but they go as quickly as they come.. I am so glad I did this challenge. I am greatful to him for allowing me to do this also.. I still think about what it will be like if/when I find out he sees someone else. Hopefully by then I would have moved on...and if I am really blessed maybe love with someone else so I wouldnt give two flying f****. Oh well. I am chilling out at the moment eating ice-cream and talking to a hunky man on msn.. Life is Great lol Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Ah Monique! You give me Hope! Thanks for that.x Link to comment
lexion Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 day 4 i still miss her like before but now, i don't feel as depresed Link to comment
SamT Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Day 4. ahhhhhhhh i miss her so baaaaaaaaaaaaad. I want everything back to what it was like before. simple and great. sorry, just distracting my energy from calling her. Im spending so much time on ENA lol. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 In an hour it'll be day 10. I've been close a few times, but not given in. I'm getting there. He doesn't take up my every thought anymore. Obviously I still miss him, and think of him a lot, just not allll the tiiimmmeee like before I've also been struggling wth the "should I contact him after the 30 days is up?" "what if he contacts me first" but I'm just telling myself, for now I am not contacting him, and I'll worry about that day when it comes! I do still wish we were together, but I also realise he probably isn't the one for me, and he's not as sweet as I thought and he made out. Not since the break-up at least. He's also going down a lonely road, but he chose it, I can't do anything about it, and won't be his back up, or his counceller! NC is empowering...it's just not easy. I hope thjat everyone are doing okay, keep on going, it's worth it! Link to comment
Tinnes Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 First 22 days of NC brought me back to life. Also another 20. Day 4 is ended. (third round) These four days I feel great. Those days it is ok being NC, but when crises come... Link to comment
SamT Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 tears came to my eyes for no reason. i dont know why i feel empty. i know i make progress now and again...but i find it hard to feel it...there isnt an action involved. its just all on the inside. gd night x - hope im better tomorrow.x Link to comment
starlette08 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 11 days NC. i broke the cycle a few times already. we've been broken up since january but i broke NC a few times. last time i texted him was 11 days ago. i thought i was doing ok until today, when i broke down. i just layed in my bed and cried. i couldnt sleep last night (and had an exam this morning) i dont know why but just as i thought i was over it, im back to square 1 again. does he feel the same too? how do u talk to someone everyday for 3 years and then all of a sudden stop? i don't know how he can cut me out of his life like this. Link to comment
gee Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 damn starlette, you're going to me make me cry. I'm sorry you feel like that! I understand your pain. 4yrs talking every single day and all of a sudden it disappears! I was driving home from shopping and I thought about her and tears came out. I think it is becasue I am leaving tomorrow and I'm going to miss her saying goodbye I was having a relaxed day today. I miss her sooo much and you think if the other person is missing us as well. I ask myself that question everyday. She called saturad but I ignored her. This is the 1st time she called me since DEC 07 before it was just text or emails. I don't know her true intentions from her call saturday but I will not call her back. i will continue NC. I feel your pain!!!! Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Day 4 NC- I had a horrible day toady. I did go a whole day not speaking to him again. Yet I found out such horrible things that all I want to do is hide until this pain goes away. I knew my ex was going to a party this weekend but I didn't expect everyone around me to be talking about it. I found out not only that my ex went (who bowed never to go to those things) and walked in on a girl while she was in the bathroom (the girl being his best friend's ex). Not only that but today in class (where I sit about 2 desks away from him) she came up to him, sat on his desk, proceeded to flirt with him and gave him her phone number. She even put a little "heart next to it". He laughed and gave her his. He even cut his hair, bought new clothes, and even got new shoes just to look like his new friends. He was the guy who didn't care about his clothes. The guy who told me he wasn't a partier is now getting drunk. The guy who waited for me for two years until I was ready to date all of a sudden is hooking up with his best friend's ex? I'm glad I'm NCing. I really am. At the same time I feel so regretful. I can't believe I went out with a person that is so weak, that could hurt me like that. I've totally lost all my hope in men. I know there are good ones out there. I just can't believe somebody could change SO much of himself to just fit in? Link to comment
starlette08 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 damn starlette, you're going to me make me cry. I'm sorry you feel like that! I understand your pain. 4yrs talking every single day and all of a sudden it disappears! I was driving home from shopping and I thought about her and tears came out. I think it is becasue I am leaving tomorrow and I'm going to miss her saying goodbye I was having a relaxed day today. I miss her sooo much and you think if the other person is missing us as well. I ask myself that question everyday. She called saturad but I ignored her. This is the 1st time she called me since DEC 07 before it was just text or emails. I don't know her true intentions from her call saturday but I will not call her back. i will continue NC. I feel your pain!!!! Gee, good for you for staying strong. Sometimes I feel as if NC is going against how our heart feels. I want to tell him that I miss him, and I want him to hold me right now - but I can't because I have to maintain self dignity. You're right - I wonder if the other person feels the same way. How can something that has been a part of you for so long NOT affect you. I thought I was doing ok for the last two months until it hit me yesterday that I'm really NOT fine. I tossed and turned all night, thinking about how good we used to be. We were perfect for eachother. This just really really hurts. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 >starlette08 i feel what you feel sometimes i still look back and think about how perfect she is for as if she's the answer of my prayer now i think of her only as a preview, just a free sample from God before He give me my true love so that i can appreciate my true soulmate just imagine that if the "not the one" can be this great, can look this perfect just imagine what would it be like to meet the "real one" just imagine how perfect it is and this keep me strong Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I'm at just over 3months and have slipped back into a funk. today i noticed her gmail away msg was "I'm gay!" ....... nothing like pushing that burning hot poker deeper into my heart! 3 years ended in a week and she was already starting a new relationship with a girl. something she had never done in her life. I hate being alone now. not having her there when i'm stressed or just need a smile or hug hurts! I miss all those things that made her her. i miss her comfort. the last week or so I've realized as much as I want to be loved again, I cant accept it or give it to anybody new yet. it would be unfair of me. I have to heal my heart of its current pain. Link to comment
Volkslad Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I thought I was doing ok for the last two months until it hit me yesterday that I'm really NOT fine. It's ok to let out some emotion every once in a while. Usually once it's out, it can't get back in..and you're all the better for it. Link to comment
Recommended Posts