SamT Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I suppose i know what you mean. its harder sometimes when i see her mind. Got a feeling that seeing her tonight is just going to spoil my night! Any one have advice on how to be around her? Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 5. Today I feel awful, but only because I've just had a session with my therapist (not seeing a therapist because of the breakup - it runs way deeper than that). I always feel emotionally exhausted afterwards, very alone and very blue- and I would sell my grandmother for him to just hold me. Am going to keep myself busy by clearing space in my study so I can do my jewellery making (my new hobby) in there. Then I collect my son from school and it's takeaway food and DVD in front of a roaring fire. Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 SamT, Scroll back a few pages and look for my post yesterday! About how I was just sitting eating my lunch and then who appeared next to me! I know exactly how you are feeling! lonely83 Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 haha that made me laugh , I would sell my grandmother. I know the feeling. I am feeling soooooooooooooooooo blue today just made a post in the healing section. Your plan for the evening sounds fun mockchop xx Link to comment
SamT Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 SamT, Scroll back a few pages and look for my post yesterday! About how I was just sitting eating my lunch and then who appeared next to me! I know exactly how you are feeling! lonely83 yeah saw ur post mate, mustve been hard... i just cant see why she cant make her mind up..she always just gives me a maybe. is that a good thing? day before she told me to hang low, and see what happens. whatever that means. and then the next day shes like i dont want anything to happen! Really Getting To Me! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 SamT I can imagine it's hard for you to, I guess you've just got to not let her indecisiveness get to you. Easier said than done trust me I know! I guess a 'maybe' being a good thing depends on what kind of person you are and your outlook on life, (optimistic/pessimistic). I'd say try not to build your hopes up though, from my experience thats the worst thing because if things don't turn out as you hoped - as in my case - then you'll only end up hurting yourself more. Try not to contact her for a few days, make her chase you - that's what I'm trying to do with my ex since seeing her yesterday. It might not work but time will tell. lonely83 Link to comment
SamT Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Yeah thats what i want to do... i did it for a couple of days.. only like 3 days until she contacted...saying how much she misses me, thinks about me etc. But now i have to see her later, and i just want to be myself... and as i know shell be in the house, i dont want to think about where she is/ or the fact that shes in the next room and so on... Ill prob end up getting really wasted to compensate no doubt! ... which might mean ill act irrationally/upset later on... Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 SamT Yeah I'd been 10 days before my ex came and spoke to me yesterday. It seems that the longest we ever go is 10 days or so - I think that's in part due to us having the similar social patterns, attending the same school at university etc. It must give you some comfort in some way knowing she misses you and is thinking about you etc. My ex never gives any indication of that which in a lot of ways really upsets me - although I know it should make it easier to move on. Definitely be yourself when you see her, it's not easy mind. Also don't ask her about her relationships etc with other guys. I'm not sure if reminiscing is wise or not you'll have to ask others about that? As for the getting wasted idea, not something I'd recommend. I've not drunk now in well over a month - basically since when she told me she didn't want to talk to me ever again or work things out and was dating someone else. I don't trust my self if I get drunk etc, one I think it will just make me more depressed about everything (alcohol is a depressant anyway) and secondly I'd end up trying to contact her in desperation etc. lonely83 Link to comment
SamT Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Yeah i know, thats what im worried about happening, although i know she'll be drinking too.. It did give me comfort in knowing that she was thinking about me, but then it ended up slowing me down again. She doesnt normally tell me how she's feeling, and shes admitted to hiding it all the time... i only get glimses, when shes been out drinking, or maybe when she was sad the other day about us.. Its also hard for me to totally not see her, ive bumped into her so many times lately... because were both in uni, and in cardiff ... i know i will constantly see her until the day i move away or something! Ah going to be myself now, try and clear me head and be happy! Going to see her... ill get back to you about how it went! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 My ex is exactly the same, won't admit anything about her feelings to anyone and probably wouldn't even admit it to herself if she was still feeling anything for me. I don't really see her when on nights out, although I know she's usually in the same clubs etc I try to make a conscious effort to avoid her. Although at times part of me thinks if she's drunk then maybe she'll be more open and honest etc with me and herself about her feelings. Yeah I'm the same - I actually went back to uni to do my MA so we could stay together, obviously this was all before we broke up! Good luck when you see her, remember be your self. Be calm and confident don't be arrogant though. lonely83 Link to comment
dragon lady Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Ugh 10 days. I can't believe I've made it this far. I feel like I've gotten to the point where I've come so far that I don't want to go back to day 1! This is my motivation for not contacting him. I've also found that in the last couple of days I've developed a lot of negative feelings toward him. I guess this is me moving onto the next stage of grief. I actually watched a video of him eating yesterday and he always ate like a pig. It really turned me off. In fact, I think I'm managing to talk myself out of wanting him back. I just hate it when the weekends roll around because I'm so used to seeing him. Ah well. Link to comment
gee Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 13 Well, not the longest of NC but I am getting to that mark which I don't remember but it is getting close. I hate this I really do! Yesterday, was a painfl day for me and just when I thought things were getting better...BAM!!!! I was at working constantly thinking about her and walking around teary eyed..UGH..SIGH!!! She told me she has met someone and he is all this and that and she finds someone less than 2 months after our break up after 4yrs together? Well, I am not sure what to think about that but someone told me her status on facebook is "single". That might change very soon! I still have hope that we get back together but she dumped me so she will have to call me!!! I hope everone is doing better than I am. This is a battle and it seems it's going to be a long one. i wish I had someone to make my healing a lot easier. Like she said, "the women you hooked up with." Where are they somebody please tell me!!!!!!! She is ridiculous to make these accusations!!! GRRRRR Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I've also found that in the last couple of days I've developed a lot of negative feelings toward him. I guess this is me moving onto the next stage of grief. I actually watched a video of him eating yesterday and he always ate like a pig. It really turned me off. In fact, I think I'm managing to talk myself out of wanting him back. I've done that, just thought about all the negative bits and you know what... they actually out-weigh the positive!!! I've finally seen the light. I don't miss him at all now... sure I miss being loved, but hey, I've got my old exciting life I had before you came along and supressed that... I got too lost in him. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 how you been doing isparkle? you still in NC? X Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 12!!! Feeling good today!!! Yesterday, this sexy guy came up to me while I was studying in the library and started talking to me and I was just struck like a deer caught in headlights. I want to see more of him. lol! Its so good to be able to feel this way again. I didnt know through how depressed I have been and it has shown me that I am still human. Day 12.. Onward and upward!!! Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 how you been doing isparkle? you still in NC? X Yep... We did try to be friends - didn't work, so I'm more than happy to go NC. Not bothered if I never hear from the idiot again!! How about you? x Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 41 He nudged me when I relogged into MSN last night. But he said nothing in the past few days. Just pure plain nudging. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 41 He nudged me when I relogged into MSN last night. But he said nothing in the past few days. Just pure plain nudging. Hey lilbear well done you. Thats just plain lame. Do you think you will talk to him at some point...or are you going to wait till you have no feelings for him x Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Not at this point, no. And perhaps not ever. Because he's just not in his right mind right now. Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Ok I broke down yesterday and just texted "hope you're smiling today". She responded w/ how this just isn't her year, no time lately for herself, feels like she's going nuts. First year in a while since we've not actively been in each others lives. I'm actually doing better than those years as far as progressing w/ life, my emotions are obviously screwy though. She on the other hand pretty much a mess. Not really sure what to say...or do I just not respond at all? Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Thats how I feel about things too Lilbear. Not sure after all this NC there will be anything left to say. My ex is online now but he is blocked so he cant see me online status. I n one hour, I will be on 14 days NC. woohoo.Never thought in a million years I could do it. I know one thing for sure. I am never initiating contact with him. It feels good to say that, save myself the pain and heartache. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Ok I broke down yesterday and just texted "hope you're smiling today". She responded w/ how this just isn't her year, no time lately for herself, feels like she's going nuts. First year in a while since we've not actively been in each others lives. I'm actually doing better than those years as far as progressing w/ life, my emotions are obviously screwy though. She on the other hand pretty much a mess. Not really sure what to say...or do I just not respond at all? I wouldnt respond, its not your fault her life is now a pile of rubbish. I would think about yourself hun . Link to comment
MNmike Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Day 13 She told me she has met someone and he is all this and that and she finds someone less than 2 months after our break up after 4yrs together? Well, I am not sure what to think about that This is a battle and it seems it's going to be a long one. i wish I had someone to make my healing a lot easier. I know how you feel, mine was 5 years, and she immediately started dating a coworker. We were long distance for a year, so I had no idea this dweeb was moving in, and I never thought she'd do that, so I had no reason to think otherwise. I know its a rebound, and won't last. But there has been some damage, and when she does contact me again, I am not sure just what I'll say. But one thing I do know, I have my reasons, she will contact me again. Oh, I'm on day 60 something. Link to comment
minigirl Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 I've decided to quit this NC challenge. I'm quitting this NC challenge because I found its easier to jsut do NC without posting my feelings. Sometimes a day passes and I feel good. But then Im forced to sit and really think how I feel inside. Its easier for me to pass a day and feel good about myself. But its harder for me to come back on here and post my feelings. When I do that, I feel like Im searching for feelings to write and it ends up making me more sadder or opening the can of worms. I think for now, Im going to take it day by day but deff NC at all from me. Just not going to post anymore of my feelings. I just want to forget it all if possible, will make it easier on me. I cant handle all these emotions everynight again. I cant seem to be able sleep all over again. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 DAY 14NC WOOHOO TOMORROW I WILL BE HALF WAY WOOHOO NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO IT BUT I FEEL SO GOOD 1: Link to comment
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