yo Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 bostoneric, Just hangin there. I can really feel your pain. I've been through a similar situation. The difference was I got dumped for my best friend after a LTR of 5 years. But the pain was just the same. I am just reiterating what the people on ENA had told me years back and it worked for me. Just stick to NC for a while. That is the only thing that you should be doing right now. I know it's really really hard and we tend to reminisce about the good things, but please try to get her off that pedastal. Don't think of her as someone special. Just think of her as just another person. This is something that worked for me. I took a notebook and wrote down all the times and instances that she hurt me and disrespected me in front of others. Everytime I had this urge to call her or mail her, I'd read my notes and by the time I was done with it, I would be so angry and hurt that I wouldn't feel like calling her. I am sure you could come up with something of your own. Just hang in there. If I have made it, anybody can. NC really did wonders for me. Just take up the NC challenge and follow it religiously for 30 days. You will see the results for yourself. Good Luck! Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Today it feels like my heart has been playing tricks on me again..oh foolish heart! This morning I was so cool and I woke up happy and at work all these talk about holiday parties and people giving me gifts and all this holiday spirit just got the best of me.I should be enjoying the season but instead I feel so overwhelmed and sad.Today was like the worst day of my NC life. I succumb to the thought of missing him so much.I had a beautiful xmas last year and I didnt know that it was my last with him.It hurts soo bad.Its so hard.I had urges to call him but I pledged allegiance to this NC challenge..and no way Im doing that.. I felt so strong the past 3 weeks but today I feel so defeated again.I hope its different tomorrow.This is the loneliest xmas Ive had in my entire life..well so far.. Link to comment
Crows Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 NC... none.. Just talked to my ex online and she said she had to leave beucase her "bf" came over to her place after drinking an entire 2/6.. and that he can't.wont talk to her and is a recovering alchoholic.... wow.. she said "il talk to you later under better circumstances.. im really sorry.. i really am" Link to comment
cnflctd Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I know my ex is at a party right now with all of "our" friends for the last 3 and a half years. I was invited but didn't want to create a bad situation. She thanked me for that, at least... But this totally sucks. Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 DAY 24..6 more days..am I going to get a certificate or diploma or something??aahhh... after 30 days Im going to go for master's of NC science.. Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I broke NC - I saw him yesterday morning, but I left not on a "good" note. Although, I did collect the rest of my things, which sent a message I'm sure. I did a lot of reading today and put some insights on myspace page. I sent him an email tonight thanking him for my Christmas present, and just letting him know that I am moving on. I told him that why I will miss him, I'm letting go of the past. I told him that I'm going to be ok Guess I wanted this for the closure, so that tomorrow I may begin NC. Link to comment
yo Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 after 30 days Im going to go for master's of NC science.. That's a good one!!! Link to comment
yo Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 DAY 6 Woke with a nightmare again today and then just started missing her. I am slowly beginning to accept the fact that she's not going to make any attempt to contact me. I am really scared to try and make contact. I am sure she will ignore my calls and text messages and I will be hurt again. Why can't she just send me an email atleast!!! Why doesn't she miss me the way I am missing her now Link to comment
yo Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I broke NC ](*,) ](*,) I just couldn't help it..I called my ex from my friend's phone coz I knew she wouldn't pick up my calls!! She was surprised to hear my voice and said she was busy, said byee and hung up..she didn't even say that she'd call me back..She didn't ask me how I was!!! But now I know for a fact that there is no way she's going to take me back. She's happy and she doesn't miss me..So, it's back to NC for me..Time to heal and move on... NC DAY 0 Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I don't know if this falls within Superdaves No Contact Challenge Rules, but I am NCing a fk buddy. I need NC because I have developed 'feelings" for him after 2 1/2 months. I am going away in 2 days back home for about 2 weeks and am not telling him I'm going. We usually are in contact every 3 days. Usually I am the one that calls. Lots of things have happened and i found that I cannot just have sex and not feel anything for the person. I have never been in a fk buddy relationship before and I am 38. Now I can see why. He just wants casual sex, so its no use me pinning any hopes on him. He had me fooled for a while because the sex we were having was more like 'making love' than just a booty call. But now I know that it musnt have been. It is Thursday morning and the last time I called and spoke to him was on Monday afternoon. I am finding it a struggle not to call because I keep thinking if i dont call he will just hook up with someone else. Believe me I know how stupid that is, because he is just as likely to do that whether I call or not.](*,) I find it really hard not to call because its almost like a reflex action for me to call. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get through this? If I can just get through the first week..](*,) Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 So SuperDave can I sign up? I need to make my start day Day 3 so i feel like I've already got somewhere.......... Link to comment
Parsley Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Wahey! Hello! Just wanted to stop by and say, it works people, it works like a charm!! I used SuperDave's fantastic challenge at the beginning of this year. It was hard, I won't deny it, every day the temptation just to send a quick email, how could that hurt, maybe he might finally explain himself blah blah blah. But! I completed the challenge in....February. Somehow...inexplicably...my ex chose the 33rd day to contact me? But I was strong and told him where to go with his "fancy meeting up?" I got happier and happier since then, a month and a half after finishing the challenge I met my now boyfriend who is better than I ever could have imagined, and my life has just taken a complete 180 spin! Just wanted to show some support, you CAN do it, and there's no better place in the world to get help and advice than ENA, so cherish this place I'm more than happy to share any experiences or thoughts with anyone, pm me anytime. I know I'm only at the tender age of 19, but if you can, ignore that. My ridiculously childish ex was 24 when we were going out, and I was 18, and the more mature one. I think that's forced me to grow up a little faster than hoped, but at least I have some more life experience now right? Dave - Thank you again Link to comment
Parsley Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Hey saltandvinegar Good for you for realising what's happening and making the decision to take a step backwards. You're already doing better than I did! What I think you need is something that distracts you from the possibility of calling. Whilst the simplest option is to delete the number, I know that it isn't actually the simplest. in my experience, I just found excuses to write it down somewhere else 'just in case' and it was always accessible. I should imagine also, seeing your phone and not seeing a missed call is difficult? I hated that more than most things if I'm completely honest! I took a solution to this from a routine when I'm walking home and it seems to take forever. Have check points through your day, but don't set them in advance, and change them every day. e.g. When you get up think "I'm going to make it until leaving for work until not ringing him or checking my phone" don't think beyond this or anything else, just concentrate on everything you need to do until that point. just before that point think "ok, now I'm going to make it until I've got to work and have made myself a hot drink and am settled" Work through the day like this, and it will make the days go a lot quicker, i can promise you. There will obviously be tempting moments, but just try and distract yourself from it with something...anything that is by no means related. Is there any other main issue giving you grief at the moment? I hope my ideas help.. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 yes, Its seeing the no missed calls thing, or whenever there is a missed call its from someone else. Theres a 17 page thread on this whole "case" called "the online guy update for those who have been following " its under sex and relationships. So its been a long and windy road and I have some great supporters here on ENA. I think the thoughts i have are Ok of he is not calling then he has forgotten about me, that kind of thing. But as anyone whos read th thread will tell you i should get rid of him anyway. So i suppose yeah like you say, little steps,- if i can get through til 3 pm and not check or call etc. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Day 2 AAAGGGGGGGGAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNN Hahaha, I think there should be a NC meeting, like for alcoholics. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 a few more hrs of day 1 and i'm absolutely sure I will not be talking to her today... I spent the entire day @ universal studios hollywood CA with a friend. it was nice to get the f*ck away from everything and just forget everything all day and have some fun! Day 2 AAAGGGGGGGGAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNN Hahaha, I think there should be a NC meeting, like for alcoholics. Link to comment
foleno Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Hey every one. Good work for staying strong. I actually stopped myself from buying a christmas Card for my ex. I have been really wondering for a few days if I should. I was in the store but just could not do it, But i still think I might send her one. ``` Hmmm. I just think a simple card saying happy holiday. And a nice quote would be okay. Or would it. Well I think it NC 15. Will I get the 30. Wait I just looked at a calendar. it day 24 for me. So if she get the card on the 25 of Dec that will be 30 day of NC. ya. Good night every one. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Whilst the simplest option is to delete the number, I know that it isn't actually the simplest. in my experience, I just found excuses to write it down somewhere else 'just in case' and it was always accessible. .. Unfortunately the number is in my head and I can't seem to erase that!!!!!](*,) I really wish I could Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 hey foleno..your day 30 is dec 25? mine too! today is day 25 Link to comment
Crows Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Day 1 again... for god who knows how many times.................... three hours left in the day though. Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Day 2 AAAGGGGGGGGAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNN Hahaha, I think there should be a NC meeting, like for alcoholics. so should we call US CONTACTHICS??? Link to comment
yo Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Unfortunately the number is in my head and I can't seem to erase that!!!!!](*,) I really wish I could I have the same problem!! I still remember the phone numbers of my exes I dated 7 years ago!! Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 we are recovering Contactaholics "Contactaholics Anonymous meeting now called".... Link to comment
OneWithGilead Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Lol, I just saw this challenge. Let's see now... Last time I successfully talked to her would be... wow, 32 days ago on the phone, 61 days in person, if you don't count an awkward "hi..." when we passed each other in the hall by chance around 12-14 days ago, can't remember exactly. I tried to call her 2 days ago, but her phone was off, so does that count? Oh, and on Facebook, 2 days ago :sad: . What day would that put me on? Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 damit, why do I keep waking up @ the exact time every morning when she would get up for work!?!?!?!! I'm getting to little sleep as it is, I need to stop waking up so early!! the mornings are so hard..... today starts day 2... Link to comment
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