foleno Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hey. for now you can not care how her sunday is going. Somebody more important needs your attention, he traveling from place to place, had his partner not be considerate. He even need help deciding on a new place to leave. I know its hard. And sure I am sorry if this post is out of line, but your self love needs to come first. NC Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hey bostoneric,thats ok.Some of us here have done that so just let it go. Youre only human.We all get that urge to know.Its still early for you but in time youll feel stronger and there will be lesser urges to do it.Its hard for you coz she still has your heart captive and also some of your belongings.Just let it go for now and acknowledge that you just needed to know.Dont beat yourself up over that you shouldnt have done it.there's nothing wrong that you have kept that communications open but dont do it as much because its not the same anymore.Ive been through a 3 and a half year realtionship and its not easy to forget and expect that the love can just disappear abruptly. Im sure she appreciated it that you texted her and she was polite about it but you cant expect anything right now but her to be polite with you.She's probably feeling sorry and guilty thats why she couldnt add anymore to that conversation.There's nothing left for her to say.She knows its not easy for you but for now its all about you.Youre lost now but someday you will find yourself again.No matter how we tell you not to do it you will still do what feels right for you.Until you find that closure that you need whether it will come from her or from within you but for now its still too early .You will only get burned..If you feel that NC is not right for you then go LC because its not feasible to get rid of that attachment right away but you can do it gradually by keeping yourself preoccupied and not wonder what she's doing now.im sure she's in a better position than you coz she broke up with you.But someday things will get better for you because youve done the best you could then it will be the opposite way..so just take it easy acknowldge that pain because youre still grieving for the love you lost.I think we all have to go through that stage of grieving until weve grieved so much that its time for acceptance. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 lovemeorleaveme00 thanks for the kind advice... i'm still very much confused/hurt by the entire situation because it was not my choice to break up... many other factors are in the air also... everyday is a new challenge all i can do is try to focus on myself which is very hard right now... Link to comment
Crows Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 How did it go. When you guys first breck up were you strong in the beginning, nc right away. I am just wondering. I was very unavalible in my relationship, and sent flowers everyday for a week after my ex broke it off. We have no contact by her choosing. I am just trying to find someone who has had a similar break, but the ex at least changed thier mind later after a couple of months. I was not strong. I begged, pleaded. She came back for a week, then broke it off again. I was devistated, made all the wrong moves.. angered her etc. I then went into NC for 14 days until he rbday.. called her up. She then started LC with me. And it began to become progressively more positive. Every week, it became better and better. Although she was cold sometimes and angry.. I stood my ground and just took it. I then found out she had a bf by pushing her on it.. she didn't want to tell me for whatever reason. She then told me she wished we talked more, and then went completely and utterly away... NC for 16 days..... until she came online and we had a reminissing convo for over an hour. She contacted me three days in a row, and finally by the last day ( saturday) she asked me for coffee. She flirted with me. We went for coffee, she bought the same stuff we had on our first dates etc. She didn't talk about her bf at all. Just her new cat and how it really was the only thing that makes her happy these days. Shes' stressed out, and we laughed, and just had a good time. At the end she asked me for a hug, I gave it, she went on her way to her supposed new apartment where she lives with this new guy. And we havn't talked since yesterday. It was interesting, she texted me on the friday night.. just "hey" crap like that.. I asked her at coffee and she said "i was bored" Friday night.... new bf...... bored.....? then goes o ut for coffee with her ex (me) and reminisses, flirts etc. I'm still trying to piece it together. She wanted to see me and admitted she missed me for the first time in a long long time. I was tempted to text her tonight to say " i still feel a connection" but I didn't. I will see where it leads. Her new BF may be a rebound or just not what she expected. I wonder. Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 day 22 for me Link to comment
sadcomposer Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Hi superdave and everyone. I have been reading a lot of your posts and they have really helped me. I am on day 18 of my BU and now am at day 4 of NC. I take the challenge. Thanks Link to comment
yo Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 DAY 4 A lot better today..Didn't wake up being sad or with my ex's dreams!!! But, still kind of missing her now! Planning to keep myself really really busy today. Link to comment
Crows Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Day 2:Start.. It's tough again since we met for coffee on saturday afternoon and it was great! She has been sniffing it seems that she may still have interest and it's really tempting to contact her just once or twice and let her be again. Though the kicker is her new "bf" What do i do................ What if she's waiting for me to make a move now. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 DAY 17 Things are getting better. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 well today starts day 1 again..... hopefully i can remain strong during the morning, i have some plans for the afternoon to keep me busy. as usual i woke up early thinking about her Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Day 6 Feeling horrible right now...lots of things happening in my life that are stressful. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 well I'm lost with this... I had an xmas present I bought before we broke up... I'm thinking I'm going to still send it to her with a small card that just says I care about her.. keep it short and simple. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 well day 1 is almost over and it was extremely hard... ex got herself a new cell phone, something we talked about before I left because I was paying for both lines hers/mine. Link to comment
Crows Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 After our coffee date...... today i just sent her a text.. ughh she hasnt responded and i feel bad. Even though most likely she will respond. Link to comment
blue_dahlia Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Day 1 No contact as of now. I feel strong. I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with me. Link to comment
Crows Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I just contacted my ex and I feel like dying... she responded with a couple back and forth but now I just realized it serves no perpose to me.. and only makes me feel bad!! UGH! Link to comment
emalkoc Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Crows, you should NOT feel guilty for contacting.. At this stage, you should actually but be careful, dont be too touchy.. You are meeting her soon, right? Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 I just contacted my ex and I feel like dying... she responded with a couple back and forth but now I just realized it serves no perpose to me.. and only makes me feel bad!! UGH! Sorry you're feeling bad. I know how cra* it feels to have your ex talk to you, but not hear what you wanna hear. But you never know what she is thinking. Link to comment
Crows Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Crows, you should NOT feel guilty for contacting.. At this stage, you should actually but be careful, dont be too touchy.. You are meeting her soon, right? We did meet on saturday. For coffee for an hour and a half or so. It was really good. Like old times. She bought the coffee she used to get on eour dates etc.. we smoked outside. Laughed, talked, connected. At the end she asked to hug me, I said yes. It was really positive. So Today A couple hours ago I just texted her and she responded and. I said "i miss those baked treats you used to give me" and she then proceeded to say "you should come by the bakery before it closes for some sub par baked goods" Then I said "you wouldnt kick me out? " as a joke.. and she responded with "waiiit explain the joke!" and i said "well the joke is maybe you dont want to see me... or possibly just throw cookies at me?" and she hasnt responded. Link to comment
foleno Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Day something of NC. just relaxing and wondering. have been reviewing the relationship. A lot of strange things to think about. Very hard to want to let go. I just happen to wonder. Thats it NC going strong. Good luck. Link to comment
lovemeorleaveme00 Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 its day 23 for me..I still think about him to be honest but not as depressed and obsessed as I was.Im really starting to feel that closure from within. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Day 18. I can't wait to go home for the holidays and be with my family again. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 well back to day 0, i gave in and called her just now.... by the sound and tone of her voice it seemed like she was doing very well and happy. I know she's already seeing a girl, this is was part of us breaking up. anyways, now i'm depressed and sad... she has it so much easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we moved to her home town, her family, her "friends", our house, somebody new and exciting already... well i'm homeless forced to leave, no job, lots of heartbreak... Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 well back to day 0, i gave in and called her just now.... by the sound and tone of her voice it seemed like she was doing very well and happy. I know she's already seeing a girl, this is was part of us breaking up. anyways, now i'm depressed and sad... she has it so much easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we moved to her home town, her family, her "friends", our house, somebody new and exciting already... well i'm homeless forced to leave, no job, lots of heartbreak... I feel your pain, I really do........ Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 email exchange this shortly after the call.. well we watched "blades of glory" last night, it was really hard to watch it because to me that was one of "our" movies.. so many wonderful memories... I think thats why i called today, i was really really missing you this morning. I'm sure you are doing a lot better then me, you are a strong beautiful woman. I miss you so and will always be here for you. XO Eric her reply thank you for your kind words. i promise you, you are going to be more than okay one day. one day it will all make sense. this is a very important time for you and you need to embrace it. you can do anything you want, live anywhere you want. it's all up to you. you should take full advantage of the opportunity. you have great friends and an incredibly supportive family. i hope we can remain very good friends too. I know shes saying things that i need to hear, I know part of that is because the sooner I move on the less guilt she has. but all in all its really f*cking hard to move on from what I thought was my future!! Link to comment
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