Emotional rollercoaster, anyone?

[CareBear53187]

So i was just wondering if any of you all just have your up moments--like, for about 3 or even 4 hours, its not that bad! like, you can TOTALLY live without them-heck, why were you even crying about it in the first place? this leaves your future wide open. and everyone's advice seems true and good, and you know that you are an independent and fulfilled person without them.

 

but then, it sinks in again...and you cant stop crying and nothing from your emotional up seems to be even remotely relevant.

 

i was just wondering-is this normal, is this going to go on for a long time, or am i actually beginning to heal?

 

ohh and i have to quote billy joel for yall

 

"cuz the good old days WERENT always good.

 

and tomorrow AINT as bad as it seems.."

[ryan4414]

I'm going through this right now. I will be fine for a certain period of time and then it just hits me. So, no you're not the only one. I've done everything everyone has told me and it still ends up with this "emotional rollercoaster" effect.

[mcnani]

that's SO me right now.... i've been broken up for 3 months, NC for 2... and it's been toward the end of this second month that i've been in extreme emotional rollercoaster-- going for a few hours depressed, a few hours hopeful/optomistic (i don't need him!)... it's really doing my head in.... but i'm going to focus on NOT being sad, even though that's easier said than done when i'm going down on the rollercoaster....

[Dako]

That's a rough period, and it was tough to plan the day with that cycle controlling me. The swings after 6 months were less painful, and after a year, the storm had mostly passed.

 

Of course, we're all different.

[denisemarie]

I am feeling ya. This has been the single most challenging month of my life and I think I am at the anger stage, if there is such a stage. I give up I'm exhausted with it all. If he is ready to let go, then so be it! I fought for this relationship, I ran, I cried, and now I'm ready to just let go too.

[Straightj06]

im going through that aswell, heck i was fighting the tears off and it hurt so bad. Then im fine and ready to live my life . . . then again im right down feeling like i could of done things better. Also curiosty is a bummer as i keep thinking "what if" i had done this better or this. Sucks but hey, thats life we learn from our mistakes. Hang in there i know there is light at the end of this rollercoaster and we will see it soon

[bigthings46]

I feel like this everyday. Me ex broke things off with me in August and wanted to remain friends but I told her I couldn't be her friend cuz she told me she was seeing some other guy 3 weeks after leaving me. I have been no contact for the past almost 2 months but I slipped up last week and replied to one of her emails she sent that made me feel guilty for going nc. Big Mistake. It sucks though, it hits me every morning when I wake up, on and off all day, and all night, no matter what I am doing or who I am with. I have so many things I want to say and I want to fix any wrongs that I did, and I want her in my life so bad and it kills me that there is nothing that I can do. I wish this pain would just leave.

[gluk0se]

I'm going through the exact same thing. The ups and downs...the "she wasn't good enough for me anyway" and the "I can't live without her" moments. My ex of three years broke up with me about six weeks ago. We had been living together for two years. She started seeing someone else about two weeks ago. She says he was the motivation for her to break up with me...but not THE REASON.

 

I've never had my heart broken before. And I guess it comforts me to know that other people are going through the same thing. I know that feeling...of waking up in a panic, heart beating like crazy, realizing that it's really over. I wish I could fast forward to when I'm OK again.

[wayner427]

I feel exactly how yall feel.. I just hope it gets better soon. There wasn't really anything I could have done to prevent this breakup though. The reason she had was a very stupid one.. not even sure if it was the real reason. Before that, everything was fine and dandy.. Just hurts so bad because I keep wondering how she's doing, and she seems to be doing really well without me. The pain lingers throughout the day, no matter what I'm doing. I can be having fun, and the thought of her will still surface and make me sad. The worst is waking up each morning. For some reason, that's when it hits and hurts the most.

 

I try to stay positive, but I'm not very good at doing so..

[GuitarHero]

Eventually the up moments will last longer and the down moments will be shorter until one day it will all be just up. Even then you can slip down a little, but you will know you are healing.

[denisemarie]

"what if"

"what if" is why I have been hanging on so long to what appears to be a lost cause. I will probably hang onto "what if" the rest of my life.

[Straightj06]

i know it plays with my head so much. "what if" i said i love you more, "what if" i took her out more. But hey . . . we learn from our mistakes

[Ladyface]

The exact same thing is happening to me, and I've had friends around to reassure me that it's totally normal. My ex and I broke up a week ago and after my initial two days of total devastation, I started getting my * * * * together and realizing that everything will get better with time.

 

Then last night, I relapsed. Hard. I went to a party, had a few beers, and found myself missing him more than ever. Boys were flirting with me and I wanted no part of it. People were asking me if I had a boyfriend and it killed me to say no. It was a huge reality check that this whole "moving on" process isn't going to be as easy as I convinced myself it would be.

 

I wish I could tell you how long this emotional roller coaster will last, but I have no idea. But I know that it's human, and that you can't deny your feelings - you just have to feel them and accept them, and it will all make sense with time.

[Biffy]

Hey Lady...

 

It's been a week, give yourself a chance!

 

It's not possible to 100% heal from a long-term relationship in a week wherther you're the dumper or the dumpee.

 

Expect to feel a whole range of different emotions about this for a while yet, prepare for it and know that it is normal and healthy.

[desertnomad]

I agree with Dako that the swings are alot less after six months.

 

Even though the storm still howls at times.

 

Theres no easy way to get to recovery it just takes time and a whole lot of effort.

[isidore]

I'm on the old rollercoaster too, though to me it feels a bit more like being in an elevator that is going up, but every so often plunges down a few floors. If you get off, though, you'll be stuck on that floor forever.

[Wimpy]

I'm on the old rollercoaster too, though to me it feels a bit more like being in an elevator that is going up, but every so often plunges down a few floors. If you get off, though, you'll be stuck on that floor forever.

 

 

What a great analogy! Summed it up exactly.

 

6 months was a turning point for me too - I remember reading how the times you don't think about it become less and I thought "I can never see that happening". Then one night I went out for pizza with one of my best friends. As the evening ended I realised I hadn't mentioned my ex more than just in passing. It was a tremendous realisation - I realised I had a life APART from him and that eventually I'd be okay again.

 

20 months on and I am okay although I still occasionally wonder "how could he do it"..."why did he do it"....but gradually I realise that I'll never know and so I stop worrying about it.

 

Keep going - you'll make it - we all have.