What happens to the relationship after sex?

[nadine_3110]

Hey guys and girls,

I want to know what happens after you first have sex with your bf or gf. Do things become awkward? Does he or she start caring for you a lot more? Does he or she express his or her feelings more willingly? I just want to know how it changes the relationship. And keep in mind I'm talking about having sex after a few months, not like a week.

 

Thanks and happy holidays!

[laboheme]

I feel like if you have sex after a few months, the transition is natural, so it doesn't change the relationship much. It's likely that in that situation, you've been taking things step by step and slowly moving towards actual intercourse rather than just jumping from holding hands to sex...so the transition in the emotional aspects of the relationship is also gradual instead of a big jump from being cold/shy to affectionate/open.

[TxRedheadGuy]

Well, having sex definitely adds another dimension to a relationship, regardless of whether you have been together just a few days or years. I agree with Laboheme that that if you have been together for a significant time, the transition is usually more natural. A wide range of things can happen after having sex the first time though, ranging from getting closer to each other emotionally to things being awkward or downright uncomfortable. How it turns out depends on you and your partner.

[yeawutever]

Well can oral be counted as sex, it's a sexual act afterall?? Ok if so here goes: What happened afterwards you mean, well I got better at performing it, though I like it more when I received it. Nope things have NOT become awkward, he's still more expressive than me. Nothing has changed whatsoever.

[Cardinal]

I won't touch the emotional side of it with a ten foot pole. That would require me to delve into how females think. I think a transition is one of the things that keeps it from being awkward. However, if one or both partners are inexperienced, good luck trying to keep it from feeling physically awkward, haha.

 

The transition can be smooth and quick, or it can be slow and gradual. In any event, as long as it doesn't happen overnight, it has less of a chance of being awkward. To put it bluntly, there is very little that is physically awkward for 'me' about inserting item A into slot B if I have done everything else with a partner. Time doesn't take care of everything though. If all you have done is kiss, I am not sure it would matter that you have been dating 'months'. You are in for very new and possibly quite awkward experience the first time. The only time I can see it having a negative effect is if you royally screw it up (pun intended). That is pretty easy to avoid as a guy if you take it slow and make sure she is comfortable.

[rocio]

I won't touch the emotional side of it with a ten foot pole. That would require me to delve into how females think.

 

Personally I think men become equally as emotionally involved after sex as women do, if not more.

 

If this is your first serious partner that yoU've been in a long-term, intimate relationship with, then it will be very powerful emotionally. The first few times might be akward, but then you keep practising and it just keeps getting better. It can also, however, bring up various insecurities and you may find that you're not so compatable.

[ramsickle1369]

Cardinal says it all! Emotionally, it changes--especially for women, and some men. Sexual encounters reach a level of intimacy where society has taught us that it's not something to be proud of. So we tend to feel somewhat insecure about it all. Even in the bestest of situations, there's still outside influences.

 

Of course, physically, if you're both comfortable and open, it will likely improve in action and possibly become "routine" if not tended to. You want to keep it alive and exciting--whatever that may be for you. I personally love the dirty talk... In just about every setting! It's such an aphrodisiac!

 

Was this your first experience? If so, there’s additional emotions of “first time” that go along with all the other emotions. As far as it making people more open, love more, etc. It really, really depends on the two people involved. Give us a little more insight into your situation and what concerns you... maybe we can be of more help?

 

OH! And YES YES YES… Oral is SEX! That’s why they call it ORAL SEX!

[Cardinal]

Personally I think men become equally as emotionally involved after sex as women do, if not more.

 

If you define sex as any any act done by a partner that produces or attempts to produce an orgasm through direct physical stimulation, then for sure, sex changes a great deal for 'me' emotionally. At that point, the frustration I normally feel from being around an attractive woman and not being able to do anything about it is then gone.

 

Sex is a boundary of sorts for me. When I know release is acceptable and possible, I give everything I have to a woman emotionally. I literally can't do that beforehand since sex is inextricably tied to emotions for me! If a partner prohibits me from expressing myself that way, then they also prohibit me from expressing my most powerful emotions. In fact, when I tell a woman I love her before having sex, I mean it with my whole heart. But at the same time, it is a very different sort of love than pure romantic love, which for me requires sex to feel it seems. Vaginal penetration isn't the biggest factor for me. It is when I know I will have release and that hopefully she will experience the same.

 

For me it is everything before that point that is emotionally awkward for me....not anything that comes afterward. My point initially was that many women seem to see the actual vaginal penetration as the thing that is 'such a big deal'. It is huge for them. But I see no reason to draw that line there for me. There is a line, but it isn't there. That is one of the reasons I have very little trouble waiting for actual intercourse. I have far more trouble waiting for a woman to be comfortable with me physically in general.

[TiredMan]

Hey guys and girls,

I want to know what happens after you first have sex with your bf or gf. Do things become awkward? Does he or she start caring for you a lot more? Does he or she express his or her feelings more willingly? I just want to know how it changes the relationship. And keep in mind I'm talking about having sex after a few months, not like a week.

 

Thanks and happy holidays!

 

usually you feel closer. It depends on the relationship of course.

 

I've had sex with people and felt nothing but pleasure but they were flings.

 

Whether it's either person''s first time is another factor.

 

In terms of waiting a significant amount of time, I find that it gets built up and ALWAYS falls short. My 1st time was with a girl who was having her first time too. We waited about 3/4 months (I probably would have left if any longer) but after we were done, I was like "that's it?" Don't get me wrong, it felt great and I wanted to do it again right then and there but from all I had been hearing, I thought it would be like the most incredible thing ever.

[ramsickle1369]

but from all I had been hearing, I thought it would be like the most incredible thing ever.

 

Ahhh... practice, practice, practice! Is there really anyone who's 1st time was REALLY good? It takes time to figure out what you like and not everyone likes the same things... Our bodies are all diferent, too... and respond differently to different things.

[TiredMan]

Ahhh... practice, practice, practice! Is there really anyone who's 1st time was REALLY good? It takes time to figure out what you like and not everyone likes the same things... Our bodies are all diferent, too... and respond differently to different things.

 

I've had a LOT of practice lol. My first time was like 15/16 years ago.

 

My point was that I expected it to be the best thing in the history of mankind and I would be in shock. And while sex is great, it's not like the feeling one would get to win the lotto or something lol.