Spending money

[Managor]

Strangely enough, my problem is that I can't get myself to spend money. If it's a necessity, for example train tickets or food, where I don't have a choice, then I'll buy the cheapest train ticket or the cheapest food that's convenient, but most of the time I can't get myself to spend anything, even paying for little things, to the point where it's an unhealthy habit. For example, it took me months of looking for the lowest price, and even more time to convince myself before I bought myself a computer. And for years I've thought about going on holiday to another country but the two thousand dollar price tag has always put me off it.

 

This has been a problem for me for as long as I can remember, and it's not an issue of not having the money to spend. Since I've never really spent any money and have had jobs in the past I have money to spend. Whenever I'm in a situation where I could end up spending some money I'll usually start to panic a lot and begin to feel very nervous. However, if I'm in a situation where I have to spend money on someone else, I usually don't have any problem with that.

 

It's not as easy as just getting used to spending money or anything similar, I honestly don't know how to get over this problem I have. Any advice is very much appreciated

[_Jaffa_]

Maybe take a friend with you that enjoys spending money.....maybe you will balance eachother out

[Ellie2006]

Hey Managor,

 

I actually have the opposite problem so I sorta envy your ability to save! You may have already considered this but: how about setting up a budget and assigning a certain amount for each "category" -- e.g. you will spend X amount for food, Y amount for holidays, Z amount for transportation, etc etc ... So as long as you stay within the allotted amount, maybe you can allow yourself to spend the money?

[Siriana]

Oh, at least it's good thing you're not having problem with spending some money on someone else (a gf for example). You're just a little bit to rational when it comes to you.

I have no idea how to spend more, really.

But I like this idea of going to another country on holidays. It's such a great thing. So try to acomplish that.

I think jaffa made a good point. Make plans with one of your friends. Go together.

And when it comes to buying food. Well how about taking someone with you who's less rational but not irrational. You know, sometimes the cheapest food is not the healthiest. You body is not a waste bin.

[xmrth]

For one thing, it's good that you have good spending habits. And that's what you should look at this as-- good spending habits that NOT many people have.

 

When getting things that you need, take into consideration how much time you're wasting trying to get the lowest price possible when you don't 'have' to. It's good to take some time out to look, but don't turn it into a second job and waste valuable time searching.

 

Another thing too is how you said you wanted to go away but it would be too expensive-- but you have the money. I haven't spent $2,000 but I've spent over $1,000 on a vacation and it was one of the best times of my life. I would just be worried you'd miss out on things like that because you won't spend the money... not because you can't afford it. But that is completely 100% up to you and your decision.

 

I don't think you should spend money like the average person with such good skills at holding back.

It is really hard to do what you're doing.

 

I don't feel good about telling you to spend money, but if you're coming here asking how to, we'll tell you how to. Surround yourself with the girlfriends of yours who go shopping a lot and things like that. Maybe take out a small amount from your paycheck at first and "allow" yourself to spend that money on whatever you'd like. Girly magazines too... just anything that involves materialism and having possessions.

[Managor]

Thanks for all the replies

 

Maybe take a friend with you that enjoys spending money.....maybe you will balance eachother out

 

I assume you mean to the shops or other places where money can be spent? That's a good idea, though I'd be pretty uncomfortable, I've never actually gone shopping for anything other than clothes, and that was always by myself because anyone else couldn't stand my indecisiveness

 

Hey Managor,

 

I actually have the opposite problem so I sorta envy your ability to save! You may have already considered this but: how about setting up a budget and assigning a certain amount for each "category" -- e.g. you will spend X amount for food, Y amount for holidays, Z amount for transportation, etc etc ... So as long as you stay within the allotted amount, maybe you can allow yourself to spend the money?

 

Most people have the opposite problem, my attitude towards spending money is nothing to envy, spending too little or too much can be equally bad, and worrying about whether or not to buy something leaves me feeling awfully anxious and annoyed at myself. The idea of a budget is good, but I'm not scared of spending too much. Each time I want to spend anything it's instantly a problem. I'm kind of just thinking to myself now, but if I force myself to spend *at least* a certain amount of money on, say, vacations over some time period, that might work... But I'd probably find I wouldn't be able to stick to it, and would put it off or something of the like.

 

Oh, at least it's good thing you're not having problem with spending some money on someone else (a gf for example). You're just a little bit to rational when it comes to you.

I have no idea how to spend more, really.

But I like this idea of going to another country on holidays. It's such a great thing. So try to acomplish that.

I think jaffa made a good point. Make plans with one of your friends. Go together.

And when it comes to buying food. Well how about taking someone with you who's less rational but not irrational. You know, sometimes the cheapest food is not the healthiest. You body is not a waste bin.

 

I'd really love to go on a holiday, I've tried to make plans in the past to go to both Europe and to the US, and I know I'd enjoy myself. I guess I could try to put myself in the position of having to make financial choices in the company or concerning other people, and that might solve the problem in some situations, but most of the time the problem comes with spending money on myself; things I want and need. Even the holidays would probably be just me flying over to another country, since half the reason would be to meet up with long distance friends (and perhaps bum around at their places for parts of the trip to save myself having to get a hotel room; I really am a lost cause so I think I have to help myself here.

 

For one thing, it's good that you have good spending habits. And that's what you should look at this as-- good spending habits that NOT many people have.

 

When getting things that you need, take into consideration how much time you're wasting trying to get the lowest price possible when you don't 'have' to. It's good to take some time out to look, but don't turn it into a second job and waste valuable time searching.

 

Another thing too is how you said you wanted to go away but it would be too expensive-- but you have the money. I haven't spent $2,000 but I've spent over $1,000 on a vacation and it was one of the best times of my life. I would just be worried you'd miss out on things like that because you won't spend the money... not because you can't afford it. But that is completely 100% up to you and your decision.

 

I don't think you should spend money like the average person with such good skills at holding back.

It is really hard to do what you're doing.

 

I don't feel good about telling you to spend money, but if you're coming here asking how to, we'll tell you how to. Surround yourself with the girlfriends of yours who go shopping a lot and things like that. Maybe take out a small amount from your paycheck at first and "allow" yourself to spend that money on whatever you'd like. Girly magazines too... just anything that involves materialism and having possessions.

 

They really aren't good spending habits. Good spending habits would be spending 5x as much as I do, which would still be less than the average person spends. I can't help but place relatively no value on my time, convenience, and I guess general happiness, just to save a few dollars here and there. I've always been indecisive but it's worst when dealing with money. Also, reading your last paragraph, I have a feeling you've assumed I'm a girl, I get that a lot for some bizarre reason Again, the idea of giving myself spending money is a really good idea, I'll try and plan out how I could put it into practice.

[_Jaffa_]

Maybe you could give some money to a friend you trust and let them buy you stuff with it?

[Ellie2006]

M,

 

So would you say your concern is more about your indecisiveness rather than about your spending habits?

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Do you find go bargaining for price an exciting task? Do find yourself excite when you compare price and bought a cheaper one?

[Managor]

Maybe you could give some money to a friend you trust and let them buy you stuff with it?

 

That's something else I'll have to think about a lot before I can reply, I honestly hadn't thought about letting someone else do the spending for me, but it's a risky thing to do. I'll put some thought into it.

 

So would you say your concern is more about your indecisiveness rather than about your spending habits?

 

I think they go hand in hand, and I don't think my indecisiveness extends to anything except money; at least I can't think of any examples where I've been indecisive and it hasn't involved money. Maybe career and job choices, but that still loosely revolves around money.

 

Hi

 

Do you find go bargaining for price an exciting task? Do find yourself excite when you compare price and bought a cheaper one?

 

I've never gotten any excitement or thrill out of spending or saving money, no, but I see why you asked that, but that's not it

 

EDIT: I noticed this was moved to Career, Money and Education, where it should have been in the first place (I forgot about that forum). Thanks anonymous moderator!

[Ellie2006]

M, sorry for all the posts:

So what DO you do with all the money that you've saved?

 

It appears to me (and you and others may disagree), that when it boils down to saving time and saving money, the latter wins out each time.

 

Maybe you value money more than time?

 

Or if this is necessarily not the case, would reminding yourself of how much time you're needlessly (?) wasting help the decision process go faster?

 

What do you think?

[ImThatGirl]

I can relate. I used to spend money like crazy. Now, I will sit and stress over each moderate item I need to buy. Is it really worth it? Do I really need it? Can I find a better deal? When I go shopping to actually buy "myself" something or even clothes for my kids, I often leave the store empty handed because I determine they are asking "too much" for what we need. The product just isn't worth the money to me half the time. Terrible!

 

The decision process to buy something as little as a shirt or a car or a Xmas gift feels like a life or death decision which is rediculous.

 

So maybe exposure? If you have a need, set a date as to the time you MUST purchase it. Give yourself enough time but not too much time to decide.

 

Have there been times that you didn't have enough money and now you are very fearful towards spending a dime and possibly getting to that point again?

[Managor]

M, sorry for all the posts:

So what DO you do with all the money that you've saved?

 

It appears to me (and you and others may disagree), that when it boils down to saving time and saving money, the latter wins out each time.

 

Maybe you value money more than time?

 

Or if this is necessarily not the case, would reminding yourself of how much time you're needlessly (?) wasting help the decision process go faster?

 

What do you think?

 

The money accumulates in a bank account indefinitely

 

I'm consciously well aware that I spend ridiculously too little, that I value money a lot more than I should and time not half as much as I should, but I still behave this way out of some fear or compulsion or something, I'm not sure. Even when I know I should spend the money, for example when I bought the computer, it takes a hell of a lot of convincing myself before I can do it.

 

Oh and don't apologise for posting so much, I really appreciate the advice and help

[Managor]

I'm really glad at least one other person has actually been in my position, almost everyone seems to have the opposite problem, and spends too much. Those questions are all too familiar, unfortunately.

 

Setting a date is another good idea, I have a $70 store credit for a PC store that expires in two days, since I've been there several times and have walked out empty handed and now am hitting a deadline set by someone else, so I'll be forced to buy something tomorrow or Saturday.

 

Luckily I've never been in the position where I've run out of money, I've been like this as far as I can remember (I recall when I was about 8, I lost $2 in the sand at a beach and spent hours looking for it *sigh*). Not spending money leaves you with a pretty full bank account, so even though I don't have a job at the moment (am at university) I don't think I'll be in the position anytime soon of having run out of money.

[ImThatGirl]

Funny to think about but I think that loss of $2 when you were 8 could have something to do with this. What was your upbringing like? Are your parents penny pinchers?

 

I can see where others would see this as a blessing but when you have to go to the store 5 times to spend a $70 credit that has to be spent and still can't decide what to buy, it truly creates a problem!

 

I would definitely start pulling out a weekly allowance or start setting dates. If you need something, set a date, and make sure you purchase by that date. Exposure will help. If the anxiety of spending doesn't lessen, you may consider talking to a therapist about it. It really can be stressful!

[rocio]

If spontaneous spending makes you anxious, why don't you budget? Sit down with a pencil and paper and plan out the things that would be most important for you to buy, and how much you'll spend.

[now_better]

you sound very much like me. i've always been very thrifty since i was a little kid. i remember writing everything i would buy when i was from 10 -> 14. it was a combination of growing up with little money, mom being very cheap, being criticized for buying the smallest thing... it's something that's very difficult to change. my friends, my ex-g/f all called me cheap. they're like you make X money, but you live like that?!?! haha, one of the great things about living thrifty is living simple. i'm not really a big fan of buying something to bring home to clutter my already messy room. i also enjoying other people gifts more than myself. there are few things people really need in life and i'm lucky to have learned that at a young age.

 

so how do you solve your problem? i think you have to balance long-term goals (buying a house) with short-term satisfaction (being happy!). I'm just like you right now, accumulating a ton of money in the bank, not really spending anything. But you have to think big picture. Do you want to spend all this money when you're old and not in great physical shape anymore? Do you want to not spend it at all and give it away when you pass away? I've kind of thought about these things and I've decided to travel a lot more. I've gone to Chicago, New York, Vegas, San Francisco in the past few months. It's cost more than i usually spend, but it's totally worth it to get out and see what the world is like in different places of the world. i'm definitely going to be going overseas in the next couple of months (need to accumulate more vacation time first i think you might enjoy travelling too and it's a lot easier when you have a lot of money to burn.

[Managor]

Funny to think about but I think that loss of $2 when you were 8 could have something to do with this. What was your upbringing like? Are your parents penny pinchers?

 

I can see where others would see this as a blessing but when you have to go to the store 5 times to spend a $70 credit that has to be spent and still can't decide what to buy, it truly creates a problem!

 

I would definitely start pulling out a weekly allowance or start setting dates. If you need something, set a date, and make sure you purchase by that date. Exposure will help. If the anxiety of spending doesn't lessen, you may consider talking to a therapist about it. It really can be stressful!

 

My parents aren't really penny pinchers; my Dad used to have a half decent job so it wasn't necessary, but I think they brought me up trying to get me to value money and not waste it or spend it too readily, and it worked too well. Childhood experiences could have made it worse too, or just been a result, I'm not sure I'm going to go with having a weekly forced allowance (see last paragraph), and might try and force myself to see a psychologist about it as well as I'm sure they'll have some valuable insight too!

 

If spontaneous spending makes you anxious, why don't you budget? Sit down with a pencil and paper and plan out the things that would be most important for you to buy, and how much you'll spend.

 

I've tried budgeting before. I don't know exactly what happened but I ended up deciding there wasn't anything I needed to spend money on.. It doesn't work for me, I just can't really manage to plan to spend money unless I have to.

 

you sound very much like me. i've always been very thrifty since i was a little kid. i remember writing everything i would buy when i was from 10 -> 14. it was a combination of growing up with little money, mom being very cheap, being criticized for buying the smallest thing... it's something that's very difficult to change. my friends, my ex-g/f all called me cheap. they're like you make X money, but you live like that?!?! haha, one of the great things about living thrifty is living simple. i'm not really a big fan of buying something to bring home to clutter my already messy room. i also enjoying other people gifts more than myself. there are few things people really need in life and i'm lucky to have learned that at a young age.

 

so how do you solve your problem? i think you have to balance long-term goals (buying a house) with short-term satisfaction (being happy!). I'm just like you right now, accumulating a ton of money in the bank, not really spending anything. But you have to think big picture. Do you want to spend all this money when you're old and not in great physical shape anymore? Do you want to not spend it at all and give it away when you pass away? I've kind of thought about these things and I've decided to travel a lot more. I've gone to Chicago, New York, Vegas, San Francisco in the past few months. It's cost more than i usually spend, but it's totally worth it to get out and see what the world is like in different places of the world. i'm definitely going to be going overseas in the next couple of months (need to accumulate more vacation time first ). i think you might enjoy travelling too and it's a lot easier when you have a lot of money to burn.

 

I think, next year, I'll try to give myself spending money each week, and if I don't spend it by the end of the week, it goes into a collective sum towards a new phone, mp3 player, holiday or something else, I'll try and decide what I need the most. When the pot gets full I buy whatever I was saving up for... Thanks again for all your help ^^

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

May be this quote would help you loosen up a bit that is

"We couldn't bring our wealth to our thomb, enjoy it while you have it."

[xmrth]

I found this article just now, and I thought it might interest you:

 

link removed

 

"Spend Now, Be Happy Later? Find out why being a virtuous saver can cause you to regret your ways in the future."

 

I hope this helps in some way!

[redrose85]

The decision process to buy something as little as a shirt or a car or a Xmas gift feels like a life or death decision which is rediculous.

 

 

^

That's me at times too!

 

To the OP- my sister (who makes upwards of $50 grand a year) is just like you, in that she just cannot spend money. She just feels no need to buy something that she doesn't really really need. Our Mother is a penny pincher, which I was like for quite awhile. I have kind of broken free of that habit now, and when I want something, I get it, maybe even too often these days. Most recently, I spent $100.00 just to go and spend another night in another city with friends, having a nice meal. The old me, NEVER would have been able to do that. But, I have learned that it's worth it sometimes, to treat yourself. I do stress about money, but I'm getting much better about it. My advice to you would be to pick up something you want, march up to the till, pay for it, and don't look back. Take it home, enjoy it, TELL yourself you deserve it. As long as it doesn't create financial strife for you, it's not a big deal. Sometimes the material things ARE important. I know it is tough, but it's not worth it to stress that much. I've been stressed about money because I've got books and tuition coming up, and x-mas was expensive. That's a good reason. If you've got plenty of money in the bank, work hard for it, and are comfortable, go ahead and indulge a little. Even if it means buying some more expensive groceries, working your way up to fancier meals, etc... Life is too short to stress about the little things. Try the book, "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff"

[charley]

There is no such thing as spending to little. You don't have a problem. I think you're superior. Now make that attribute work for you by learning how to invest the money you save. Leaving it to accumulate in the bank is NOT nearly as productive as learning to invest. If you can do that and land a decent job, then someday you'll be very wealthy and married to a woman who's determined to spend it and drive you insane. ;-) At least I've observed that to be a common scenario.

 

Mind you, you don't need 2 million dollars to get started like this other guy has. A few thousand would be more than enough to get started. Even a few hundred might be enough to started, especially if you can muster that regularly to invest. Go talk to a certified public accountant, or whatever they're called in Australia, to get some professional advice. You've got habits that can make you wealthy some day. Don't try to change that. Just learn to capitalize on it by learning how to invest.

 

As for going on vacation, I'd like to tour the warmer states of the USA. I've had more than enough of cold, rain, ice, snow, and cold high velocity wind. The only foreign country I have any interest in seeing and vacationing in is Australia (because I don't hear them constantly bashing the USA like is common in so many other places). You're already there you lucky guy, and it didn't even cost you any money to get there. I also observe that women in warmer climates are typically better looking than in colder climates.

 

I remember a summer road trip vacation to California, Nevada, Arizona, and Texas and being blown away by how good looking the women were. I couldn't believe my eyes. An average looking woman in a warmer climate would be the best looking woman in town in a colder climate, except in the warmer climate she's just average looking - so she typically has a nice attitude instead of a snobbish attitude. Then there's also the joys of being warm instead of cold, seeing the sun every day instead of hoping to see it once a week, and so on. You're very lucky to be in Australia. Be happy.

[Dako]

IMHO

 

Gathering wealth is a separate matter from adopting a self-denial strategy. Some people are driven to live so frugally they may as well be anorexic, trying to prove they waste nothing.

If you spend 3 hours saving $4 on an item, you're wasting your time.

Time is more precious that money, and a balance needs to be met.

 

Time is not equal to money. If it were, I could buy another 20 years of life.

[charley]

IMHO

If you spend 3 hours saving $4 on an item, you're wasting your time.

Time is more precious that money, and a balance needs to be met.

 

I agree with the above. There's no point in being penny wise and pound foolish. Some reason has to be applied. Time has value and that has to be considered into the equation. What is the value of your time? That question must be considered.