She doesn't like me to see her naked...

[valiantv]

Not really a request for help, just thought I'd post this on... to get it off my chest really and collect my thoughts... Anyone had a similar experience?

 

Anyway she doesn't like me to see her naked (OK you knew that because you read the subject), basically, while she's perfectly happy for me to touch her or lie under the covers with nothing on if she's then getting out of bed I have to look away. Even to take her underwear off is fine as we are usually kissing so I can't see down.

 

Now this doesn't bother me too much (even though she has a really hot body ), and I think it's just shyness on her part (she doesn't get upset if I "accidentally" see her boobs or her bum (man what's with the censor on this forum?) or something, she just doesn't like putting herself on display).

 

But yesterday, she was having a shower in my appartment. She was hinting a bit kind of like she wanted me to get in the shower with her, having me run the water for her, fiddling with my clothes, but I didn't want to ask if I could get in with her because:

 

We haven't been going out too long and I was afraid if I asked her I would force her into a position where she would have to either say "Yes" and agree to do something she was uncomfortable with, or say "No" and set a bad (IMHO) precedent. And she is not the type to say "I'm not ready yet" or something like that.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

She is simply shy, give the lady time!

 

My boyfriend waited SIX MONTHS before he let me see him naked! I kid you not, I was not allowed to see him topless/his stomach, owing to his issues surrounding his body (anorexic/recovering). And we are very much in love over six months later.

 

Just let it happen.

[rose2summer]

I can relate to your gf in this area.

 

I used to be very shy about my body and very self-conscious.

 

I never wore bathing suits, let alone bikinis, and I kept my body very covered up, since I have some minor stretch marks from the growing up processes.

 

Then I dated a guy who showed me that he thought I was very attractive and I slowly opened up to understanding who I was, and that I was not perfect, but I was special because I was me.

 

Yes, my body isn't perfect, but it's mine, and it's healthy, and I am very happy with it now. Now I love going to the beach in my bikini .

 

Maybe telling her how beautiful you think her body is can help her slowly open up, because sometimes we don't really know what we look like and positive reinforcement sure helps with the opening up process.

 

Hugs, Rose

[RayKay]

Sounds like she is not very comfortable with her skin yet, which is not uncommon particularly amongst younger women. She probably has some areas she is insecure about, and thinks you will notice what she notices (unlikely you would!).

 

I was like this when much younger too, until I really gained confidence in the strength and uniqueness of my body, and really even saw my "flaws" as beautiful and part of me. It really can take just comfort in your own skin and maturity to get there.

 

Since you are still newly together, this is something that will most likely change with some more time as she gets more comfortable with you.

 

My advice, is to compliment her on specific things you sense she in insecure about (most women are most worried about belly & butt!). She may feel she must have a totally flat tummy or something, so compliment her on how you love her tummy, it has a "perfect curve" to it or something in a way that lets her know how you love her curves for example. People take to heart more specific compliments than general ones like "you are hot".

[Clementine orange]

Some women are like that. Try not to view this from a male perspective, most men are pretty open about personal nakedness etc (plus we like to look at women nakedness).

 

I found out recently that in many women's change rooms (at the gym or swimming pool etc) they actually have cubicles within the changeroom for women to change in. So they are shy even among other women. Weird huh?

 

I expect she will lighten up in time, just keep the compliments coming (but not OTT mind you). I'd say that shower thing you described is a sign that she is easing up.

[Survictor]

Women are bombarded with images on how they "ought to look". And so when their boobs aren't "perfect," and their tummy is not that flat and their skin is not so even etc., it can dent a lady's self confidence. And so you must tell her what a beautiful body she has. How you love her skin, her womanly curves and that she is your idea of perfect. When she is under the covers and you are kissing her boobs, tell her you love her boobs. When you are going down on her, tell her you love her and she drives you wild, tell her than when she walks accross the room naked, you feel hot. Anyway, she will be letting you see her more and more and more and when she is in the shower and you are in the room, just get in there and make love to her !

[Day_Walker]

All you can do is be supportive but if it lasts for a signficant time period then I would say that there is a deeper issue here and it could be devastating.

[valiantv]

Yeah in fairness I'm a bit shy myself but in a different way - I find it very hard to compliment her (or anyone) without sounding fake or rehearsed... Even though I'm being genuine...

 

Actually I forgot to mention that afterwards I found out she did want me in there with her... She added that I "could have asked"...

[Lady Luck]

I understand what you're talking about. I used to be really self conscious around my s.o. I would never let him see me naked. We've been together around two years now, so I've kind of lightened up about it. I still won't let him see my a**, though. It's too small! I wont let him touch my hips either, too bony. He always tells me I'm beautiful and perfect to him, but it doesn't matter. He can see and touch everything but the above listed. And that's final! Maybe as the years go on I'll get over it and let him, but for now, no. Your girlfriend's probably the same as me, lol.